cause baby running after you is like chasing the clouds

Hello again, it's just turned dark(er) outside, and it's almost like it's been better for my mood. Oh goodness, I keep doing this to myself. Just realised I hadn't listened to Nick Grimshaw's breakfast show in ages, and so when I scrolled past the upcoming and old broadcasts, I saw that Bastille will be in the studio tomorrow. And I went yayyyy and then I remembered once again that I've not got tickets for the show. Great for my wallet, but awful for my soul. And I am absolutely not being dramatic and over exaggerating. Absolutely not. Kiwi has once again been my saving angel. Maybe her many epiphanies have infected me. But after having eaten my lunch (which really was an early dinner), I watched the whole Adele concert in the Royal Albert Hall, and it was really nice and relaxing. Then I did a little brainstorming, and it was great, because now I actually feel like I have a bit of control. Oh, currently listening to 1975 on the breakfast show, and it reminds me of their concert in Norway, which I'll miss because I'm going to Bergen. I don't think I would have gone anyway, or, maybe. I'm not quite sure, because I've been listening to them a lot lately. Another thing I'm going to miss whilst being in Bergen is the 1D day, which is a 7(!!!!!) hour long live show. I'm not quite sure what they will do for such a long time, but it sure as hell should make up for zero twitcams during the Take Me Home tour. Is it really pathetic that I'm sad because there's close to no new pictures of 1D? Probably, yeah. It's good that I don't care, then. Oh, and Niall as an uncle is horrible. Actually, 1D with babies in general is horrible. Is it too early to hope that some of them will produce babies soon? Anyway, I've gotten a new favourite hobby; looking at houses. Had to stop myself today from scrolling through all the houses for sale, and then I went on to look at strollers, which probably is a worse hobby. Oh, and I also found my paint-stuff, because I've not painted in forever, so I decided to change that today. I'm not very creative, but hey, it's my favourite part from Story of My Life. (Zayn I love youuuu). I'm going to exercise in a bit, and then jump in the shower. And hopefully, I'll get some work done within the evening. I've got lectures tomorrow, but it isn't until later, so that's nice. It's nice not having to wake up early every day. Not that I've been at school every day, in fact, I've barely been at school. It's like I don't go to school at all. I still hope that you're being loads more productive than me, though, according to the snapchats I'm getting from Oyster, the productivity level isn't that high today. 

regrets and mistakes, they're memories made

I, wow. I just needed a break from my paper. Sometimes my brain works overload, and it's just ready to explode. I've basically spent my morning reading up on curriculum relevant for my paper plus research articles, and trying to think of a way to start my paper. And I just came to a brink, where I was about to have a head ache, which I never really have, so I had to take a break. Put on some calming sounds of rain and had a bit of meditation on the spot. It's underestimated how hard meditation is, to clear your head. Like, I'll be trying to focus on raindrops, and just rain drops. But as a normal human being, you have associations to everything. So when I think of raindrops, I automatically think of back to August when I sat outside reading in the rain, and then I think of the book I was reading, and so on. And now I'm just a bit exhausted. Also, when I exercise, I don't really feel the ache the morning after. Nope, it's the day after that. So when I awoke today, I felt the ache in my ribs and legs and back, and everything. Yesterday I listened to Adele singing Someone Like You live at the Royal Albert Hall, and it made me shed a few tears. It's such a beautiful performance, and when the crowd starts singing along and Adele starts crying-- it's just so lovely. It also made me remember how much I love Adele, so she's been on replay on my iTunes today. I would love to attend a concert of hers, I can just imagine it being magical. Anyway, I hope that I'll get some kind of revelation about my paper during this day, that I'll be able to start it. Apart from my struggle, I've actually been really good at reading and being focused at my paper, so that's good (giving myself a clap on the shoulder). I can't wait for the weekend, to see my nephew and eat chocolate. That's high on my list of things that makes me happy right now. Also, whilst brushing my teeth, it just hit me that next week, it'll only be a month until Christmas Eve. That's ridiculously little time. It made me so happy, until I realised that I've only bought one present thus far. Anyway, I'm going to eat some lunch and try to calm my brain furthermore. Have a nice Wednesday, and hopefully you'll be more productive than me. 

I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go

Hello, "you are enough" is basically a title of a Sleeping At Last song (surprise), that I enjoy very much (love the Light EP in general) and thought suited to the subject I am about to elaborate on. I was speaking with Kiwi about "Prosjekt Perfekt", and we spoke about the pressure of looking good, and just being "perfect" after this societies rules. And, like, if I were not critical at all, and I'd have listened to every tip and what's considered "beautiful" and "perfect" in this society, I'd surely gone mad. I've put quotation marks around the words beautiful and perfect, because the meaning of the words are individual. What lies within the words are up to every individual. I think I once wrote that-- no, just realised it was something I wrote in my drawing book and took a picture of, and maybe posted onto my blog? Anyway, it was: nothing is ugly until someone says so. Like, honestly, it's we who decide what's considered beautiful and ugly. And I think therefore we ought to be smart enough to remember not to listen to all these things. And just think that you are enough, basically. I told Kiwi, that if I could learn the world a lesson, it would be to accept themselves. No matter how much you want to be Angelina Jolie, you'll never become her. Sure, you can do plastic surgery and everything, but it won't make you Angelina Jolie. You can only be the best you can be. And that is enough. If anyone makes you feel that you constantly need to change yourself, they're not worth your time. Honestly. You'll be so much happier if you just accept yourself, is the thing. Also, expectations from society is something humans have made, so it's completely fine to "break the rules". Don't be how everyone says you have to be, be yourself. Like, I'm not going to defend Miley Cyrus for everything she's doing, but I don't hate her. I think it's nice to see her be free and do whatever she wants. I'm just afraid she's trying to live up to expectations about how all the Disney people go "bad". Which again, expectations of the society. Okay, enough with the pep talk (although I am serious about what I just wrote). I really, really, really want dungarees. I don't care if they look ill-fitting and are unflattering. I just love them so much, it's ridiculous. Also, I'd love a blue coat. Yesterday I was stood in front of my closet, trying to figure out what I should wear today, and I had one of those "I've got nothing to wear". Oh, and yesterday I couldn't find it in myself to start writing my paper, when I was unsure of how to begin. So, I flipped my bed over, rolled out the yoga mat, and put on some fitting music. Did a stretching routine, because I'm really not flexible, which I realised after being tested in my flexibility by Marble and Kiwi the other day. And seriously, it hurt. Then I proceeded to do some leg exercises, because it's been awhile since I've done them. This is when my sister (Monchita) opened the door and asked me what I was doing. In the midst of her story, and me doing exercises, she asked: "isn't that like really exhausting?". Anyway, she had apparently had a whole school day of exercising, which sounded really nice, to be honest. There is something really satisfying to completely wear your body out. Anyway, after she decided she was done with telling me her stories of the day, I then proceeded to do some core exercises, which killed me. But, honestly, there was a point where my breath was loud and every second and I just wanted to lie down (was currently doing the plank after some kind of jumping exercise-thing-y) and have a cry. This was at the end of everything, so when I was still panting a bit, I put on some relaxing music and meditated for a good five minutes. It was very calming, and I did the same thing when I woke up today. It's very calming, and I think I'm going to try to fit into my morning- and night routine everyday. Although, maybe not when I'm sleeping over at someone-- that might be a bit awkward. Anyway, I had school today, and it was probably the most awkward meeting thus far. Not only did I manage to say that "our teacher is always late" the second my teacher walked inside the room. But then we were finished before the meeting was scheduled to end, so my teacher went "is there something more you want to discuss", and no one answered. And like, she just sat there, saying "erm" and "hmm" and all the things she does when it's quiet. And I honestly think we sat like that for minutes before one of the other students in my group broke the silence and asked if we were done. Ha, it was just so awkward. Thus far my teacher has been very kind with everything, but she's really strict about deadlines, so the new paper is supposed to be done within two weeks. It's nice, though, because it means I'll have three weeks without having to worry about any papers to prepare for my exam. I'm just a bit worried about how I'll manage to get it all finished. But you know, what does Tim from Project Runway always say? Make it work! Oh goodness, imagine Tim Gunn coming inside your bedroom every hour to ask how it's going and then say "make it work". Like, I can just imagine it. Hilarious is what it is. Okay, now I seriously have to go to the loo (Kiwi's voice), and then start working on my paper. To summarise, be yourself (which means you have to accept yourself-- your flaws and everything, oooh, made me think of Bastille, and now I'm sad because I've not got a ticket to their show on Friday) and make things work. Solutions is the answer!

everyone knows it's meant to be, falling in love, just you and me

I've come to realise that I am a quite organised person. It's not a big shock or anything, but it's still a bit amusing to me that I didn't realise until recently. I write lists, because I'm very forgetful, plus there is something so satisfying about being able to cross out things you've done. It's like a proof of your productivity, I guess. And who doesn't enjoy being productive? My drawers are sorted into different categories, and ha, my make-up drawer in the hall is actually sorted by where the make-up goes on my face. I just really enjoy being organised, I guess. And I told Marble the other day that I keep things like a travel toothbrush, make-up remover, and likewise in a purse in case I'm not sure whether I am sleeping over at a person's house or not. Or when someone calls me up and asks me to come over asap, it's really nice to have everything sorted already. Anyway, I've sort of ignored the fact that Jonas Brothers have "split up", because well, I don't really want to believe it. And then, if it was anyone else, like One Direction, I would have been much more upset, because Jonas Brothers are in fact brothers, which means they'll always somehow be together. The thing I'm most upset about is that I never got the chance to see them in concert, and that burns a bit. But hey, maybe Nick will come out with a new album with the Administration and go on tour. I will definitely be down for that. Right now I'm reminiscing by listening to their music, but apart from Jonas Brothers, the music that is currently dominating in my ear buds right now, is the album Reprave by Volcano Choir. Which, it should, seeing as the concert is in eight days. I'm so excited, it's a bit ridiculous. It's ridiculous because I just got introduced to them by Kiwi, and wehey, now we're going to see them live. But it's not like I've never heard of Justin Vernon, so it's not completely foreign to me. I've just been reading up on some curriculum for the paper I will start writing this week. Also, I think I might try to finish watching "Prosjekt Perfekt" today, because it was highly interesting (also, the one who's edited and put in the music is really cool, because the music is really cool). But right now I might grab myself some lunch. Have a nice and productive Monday, also, my horoscope has given some great advice today: "Instead of worrying about what you are unable to do, be grateful for what you can accomplish". Also, everyone should pray for all the bad things that are happening in the world right now, and be thankful for even being alive. When I think of the Philippines, I think of global warming and extreme weather. And it makes me wonder if Norway's extreme weather will be extreme cold, and if in the coming years, we will have more and more extreme winters, and if people will die of it. 

no love, no glory, no hero in her sky

I went to bed listening to The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice yesterday, because it's so nice. And it really bugs me, because I feel like I recently heard it somewhere, but I can't seem to remember where. Anyway, yesterday I gave up on refreshing my knowledge in anatomy, and rather watched the finale of "Stjernekamp" and then I proceeded to watch a documentary about pill abuse, which I found very interesting, because I've only ever been on "the outside looking in". Like, I've met people that have taken overdoses, and I've never quite understood the mental part of why, but the documentary was a very nice aid to understand the whole picture. That's the thing, it's hard to nurse people that are experiencing something you've never experienced yourself, because you don't really understand, do you? But you ought to try anyway. Today I woke up abruptly because of the insistent knocking on my door by my father. Thanks. Had Vietnamese fresh spring rolls, which is one of my favourite meals. After that I watched this sort of documentary called "Prosjekt Perfekt", and that's basically what I've been doing today, other than eating. I've not got school tomorrow, but I think I might go to do some studying. Something to tame the restlessness I'm currently feeling. Anyway, Grimmy and Harry has been hanging together the past days, and for some reason it makes me really happy because they're such a great duo. Also, Niall got mobbed on the day of his nephew's baptism. That's a bit wacky, I think. It would be something entirely different if it was a birthday party, or something likewise. I think it's crossing a line when it comes to something as religious as a baptism. Anyway, I also think Liam looks really good with Sophia, think he's really happy. I still love Gemma, Harry's sister. Think she's so witty. Zayn and Perrie have gotten a new cat, and honestly, I actually think they have a good shot on being the one for each other. At least it seems that way. I've no idea where Louis is, which is a bit of a surprise. And that's the update of One Direction's whereabouts. Anyway, Grepper held a surprise party for Lynx yesterday, and it makes me so happy for her. I wish I could have been there to see the surprise in her face when she walked into the venue. Also, other happy news, Marble managed to get a ticket to the Kodaline concert, which means we are going. I'm really happy about it because happy friends makes me happy. The only downside is that it's so far away still (not really, but it feels like it). But, Kiwi and I have decided to attend a Volcano Choir concert in just over a week from now. It's going to be good. Lynx and David is coming this Friday, then I'm going to the Volcano Choir concert, and then I'm going to visit Ale in Bergen, and then it's the Kodaline concert. Everything seems really great at the moment, and I hope nothing will burst the little happy bubble I'm currently in. But something usually do.