all I know is we said hello, and your eyes look like coming home

I had several “kind of” epiphanies today. First of all – maybe I should just quit school all together. Also, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a loner that doesn’t like talking. And that makes me wonder why I’ve even got friends? Today my friend told me that I’m good at being depressing. Also she was really honored when I let her borrow my beloved drawing pen. I think that says a few things about me. Bear in mind that this is one of my closest friends, whom I see pretty much all the time. Also, I was actually really happy when she told me that I was good at being depressing. And at the bus home I read another fan fiction (because I read fan fiction everywhere including when I have lectures at school), and it said something about happiness not being allowed because they were all supposed to be disaffected hipsters. And I nearly cackled out loud then, because hipster. Does this mean I am a hipster too? This is now one of my favorite fan fictions ever. At the moment I am conversing with my other best friend of years (can’t be bothered to calculate how long because I can’t remember at the moment, and I don’t particularly want to remember because that means I actually have to use my brain), and I asked her why we even are friends. And she basically answered that she didn’t know, and I quote “I’m a useless friend I guess”. What does that even mean? That I like useless people? Also, no, you’re not useless. You are a real good therapist in my opinion, even though half of the time I am voicing my thoughts, you are half-asleep. Also you cook real well with exception of that one time I was involved and dropped a load of salt on that chicken. Or was it pepper? Nevertheless, the taste was not optimal. Also, I like to think that I can seek refuge at your place, and at some points in my life I feel like I’ve even lived in your house. So yeah, the conclusion is that I’m using you. So if you are “useless”, I am using you. On a happier note; look at my socks! These were one of my Christmas presents, and one of those who excited me the most, which sounds really pathetic. But they are so cute. And look at the colors - so pretty. The conclusion to this search of understanding myself better, is that I am really weird.