you’re always trying to see yourself through the eyes of someone else

Oh, is it eight o'clock already? I think I drew this on Friday? I just remember finding it odd that for once I wasn't going to make a card. Instead I just wanted to do something with a few Kodaline lyrics. Thing is, all the Kodaline songs are incredible lyric wise. And I especially love this sentence, because it's basically Carl Rogers. Only Sugar will understand this. Last night, shortly after posting on this blog, my boss called me. She asked me if I could possibly work this week too. And though it was incredibly short notice, I said yes. Because this was what I had originally planned anyway. The only negative thing is that it's supposed to be such great weather this week-- and now I have to be inside for most of the day. But it's fine too-- I've realised that I actually function very badly out in the heat. Last night I was sprawling around in my bed because it was so bloody warm inside. And I ended up sleeping for five hours. And maybe I should have been really cranky and unhappy about working more than planned. But I felt oddly at peace. It was really warm inside the kindergarten where I wash, and I thought I should maybe feel a bit annoyed and bitter. But I was again- feeling happy. I'm very fond of my summer job, because it gives me loads of time to think. For some people, I think it would be very lonesome. But I really enjoy my own company sometimes. And it's the perfect mix between quiet and noise. Sometimes I'll be all alone and it'll be silent. Other times the kids will follow me with their eyes, and they'll ask me my name and tell me random things. Like today, a boy told me he had new shoes, whilst lifting his foot towards me. And then he said he'd been at his cabin. And I was like "okay, cool". I don't think I ever could have actually worked in a kindergarten-- it's just too loud. But kids do- and say the funniest things. There's a specific memory I remember like yesterday. I was just mopping the floor, and this kid goes to sit under the sink, and he starts crying. So one of the employees at the kindergarten asks "What's the matter?". And the kid responds, pointing at another child (still crying) "she's staring at me!". I think all the adults laughed? I can't remember that part, but it was hilarious. I keep forgetting that I turn twenty tomorrow-- I went to the mall with my younger sister, and I told her I'd buy her a new pair of shorts if she wanted. Because she's been nagging about outgrowing all her shorts. And she was like "nah, I don't want you to do that". And I was like why?? And she said "I just feel like you're my sixteen year old sister, and I'd feel bad about it". I was outraged (not really), and exclaimed: "that's four years! I'm twenty tomorrow!". She shrugged and wrinkled her nose. "I'm just always going to see you as my sixteen year old sister". So if you think about it, I'm not turning twenty tomorrow, when I am in fact sixteen as my sister says. Anyway, I was going to the mall with a mission. My sister had ordered a package in my name, and I had to retrieve it. Also, since I got two copies of Babel by Mumford & Sons, I changed one of them to The Lumineers' CD. Alright, I have to go eat food. I need to get a bit more sleep tonight-- a car was blasting Man Down by Rihanna, and I though it was the ice cream car. Yeah, I might be a bit delirious?  I'll see you when I've turned twenty, ha-ha.