no one ever said it would be this hard, oh take me back to the start

I wish you could see my pout now. It's so sad. Apparently 1D World is opening in Oslo the 11th of May, and I'm absolutely broke. And I'm never going to meet One Direction. Nor do I want to, apparently, because I don't know what I'd say, and I think I'd just silently freak out and be completely still. And if they do come to Norway the 6th of May, I don't know how to walk around knowing that they are in the same country as me (within close distance). Also I realised I'd probably not be able to actually see them (in human flesh) at the concert, and rather have to manage to watch them on the screen due to our seats. I sometimes really wish I wasn't a fan of One Direction. My life would have been so much easier. (let me be sad and feel sorry for my self Conscience). I think I'm being a bit emotional, and if I start crying now, I'll have to slap myself. I went to the mall today in order to buy some proper hand lotion. Because my hands are seriously dry. Also, I walked inside the bookstore, and what do I find? The Mystery of Mercy Close by Marian Keyes. This is the second thing that makes me sad. Because I really want to read it. But I can't. Because I have that bloody exam in a few weeks, and I've not read through the whole curriculum, and everything is just so stupid. And I'm broke. And I'm tired. And I just .. I just want to go to sleep. And not have to worry about having to do something. I just want to stay curled up in bed all day. And do nothing at all, and not feel guilty about it.

Edit: I did cry. I did however not slap myself, because I'm going to live with my skin for the rest of my life. Plus, the skin is very important for so many reasons I'm not going to list. Apparently I'm so desperate for some relief, I've gone on Tumblr to get some advice. I just- I need to have a break.