You carved our initials into these family trees. But when the branches are bare and broken, love is so hard to reach

Beware- One Direction rant. [ :((((((((((((( ]. Sometimes (all the time actually) there's so much new stuff that happens within One Direction, and it's so much to take in, so I end with tears welling up in my eyes. And I'm like "why the fuck are you crying?" to myself. Today was the premiere of This Is Us. Well, it might still be going. I watched most of the premiere at school-- because I stayed back at school until 7:00 pm. What the fuck Liam? I'm not really a Liam girl, but christ, he looked absolutely smashing tonight. I also loved Niall's outfit, because I love the Nike Blazers and his college jacket. And bloody hell, I get emotional seeing One Direction with their families and girlfriends. And then there's the fact that the whole Youtube crew I watch were on the premiere as well. It's just so much to take in. Sometimes I catch myself smiling when I watch videos of One Direction. Sometimes it's really wide, other times it small-- nevertheless I'm always smiling, which I've found is the weirdest thing. Because I'm not doing it on purpose, and doesn't it hurt to be smiling for that long? I've just been watching promo interviews for the film, and here's the thing yeah? They were talking about life after One Direction, and they summed it up that they all just wanted kids. And Niall jokingly said "yeah we're all gonna have kids at the same time". And I'm just like "yessss, please do". And in this other interview Niall get's annoyed with Harry? It actually looks like he's getting properly annoyed, but it's cut off, and I reckon it was just banter. But that's maybe the first time I've seen Niall mad, and I just cannot take him seriously. I actually burst out laughing. I'm going to stop watching these interviews, because it feels like they're revealing the whole movie. But look, Narry had a hug after being away from each other a week. My aching heart. I had a chat with Kiwi and Marble about One Direction today, and about on of their performances. When you find your first proper idol, you idolize this person (or people) so much, that in your opinion, they can't do no wrong. I'm not like that with One Direction-- and I think it's wrong for people to be so blinded by their idol, that they justify everything they do. I love One Direction, but they can do shitty performances from time to time. And they don't have the best music lyrically. Recently they won all the categories they were nominated in Teen Choice Awards. To be fair, I couldn't give a crap about these fan voting awards. To me it literally means nothing, other than that they have a really strong fan base. And that's the same with every other big artists. Sometimes artists win awards they don't even deserve. It might seem harsh, but it's the truth. Anyway, enough with the One Direction rant-- today was my first day back at school, and I almost thought I'd be sitting alone in the lecture. But Kiwi came to my rescue at the last moment. I also caught up with J.D. and christ, I'm actually having "praksis" with him again. It actually makes me wonder if it is coincidental or not. I'm lucky enough that I know two people from my new study group. It appears that we are divided into new classes and study groups each year, which means you have to start from scratch. After cutting the lecture short, Kiwi and I went to find a room to study in. I finished reading Man and Wife. It was lovely, albeit it felt a bit repeating, but yet new? It's hard to describe. I'm not quite sure if I'm going to start read Men From Boys just yet. But if I know myself correctly, I probably will. It's going to be a very busy semester, and I'm already starting counting down to Christmas (four months). Although I had not looked forward to school, it's nice to having a structure to your days. And although it sounds odd, it's nice to have school work-- because you feel really accomplished once you've done it. I say this now, but I'll probably regret it when I'm stressing to get a paper done. I'm going to go ahead and read a fan fiction, because I've genuinely not read one in ages. Also, I'm going to listen to Sleeping At Last, because they're so good lyrically. I didn't even realise I've actually heard them before Kiwi introduced me to them. I mean-- Turning Page was my jam for a whole winter. It's the sweetest song ever. And so nice.