I will try to fix you

Tonight has been an emotional roller coaster. I've gone from laughing to sobbing in just seconds. And never in my life have I been this grateful for my own life. And never in my life have I ever felt this guilty either. My problems seems to dissolve whenever I hear about other peoples problems. And then I just feel guilty for even seeing the issues as my problems. Like, they don't even matter. And it kills me to not be able to fix things. I get so agitated because in my mind I'm trying to find the solution. And I want to fix people. I want to make things better. I want to make the pain go away. A few weeks ago I confessed that I'm attracted to troubled people. But now I'm starting to wonder if it's always been this way. Have I always chosen people with troubles to become friends with? Maybe. Maybe it's been an unconscious thing. I don't really know. But all I know is that I've always wanted to help people. One of the reasons why I want to become a midwife, is that I can travel to an African country and help out. It's been a dream of mine for a really long time now. Not necessarily to become a midwife. But to help. But it's so far away. And I feel helpless in this position. I can't fix other people. I can only help. The only one who can fix your problems, is yourself. Behind every face lies a secret. Something that forms you. Today I've opened up and told some of my deepest secrets, though it might not seem too much to other people. But to me it matters. And that's it. It shouldn't matter who has the biggest problem. Everyone has problems to deal with, and you shouldn't keep shut because someone has bigger problems than you. Nor should you keep shut because you've got bigger problems than others. Talk, open up, cry, hug, whatever. Some things are too big for only you to handle. Tonight has definitely opened up my eyes. And I'm so thankful for it. I have some of the bestest friends in the world, and sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am. They bring me so much joy, and so much wisdom. And I cannot imagine life without them.