Is it normal to feel this restless? To know what you want, but not able to choose? To be so happy and unhappy at the same time? To having everything figured out, yet feeling so confused? Sometimes it feels like I’m on this endless search for something. And the hard part is that I don’t know what I’m searching for, which means I don’t know where to search. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I don’t know where I’m going with anything. I just feel so lost. It’s sunny outside, and I should probably go soak some sun. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to move outside these four walls- my bedroom. There’s this map of Europe above my desk. I look at it every day. And there’s always somewhere I want to travel, but I don’t know where I want to go the most. It’s like that with everything for me- I've got so many wishes. I just don’t know which one is my biggest. Sometimes when I feel like this- like I'm lost, I read my horoscope in hope that it’ll calm me. Today it’s so strikingly accurate, it’s a bit worrisome. “You might show your strong and silent side today so others don't realize how lost you are feeling. Your thoughts race around in circles like a hamster on a wheel, making it difficult to reach a logical conclusion about what's happening. Your current strategy is to keep your insecurities quiet rather than acknowledging any confusion […]”. I wish I didn't think so much.
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