whatever makes you happy, whatever you want

Sometimes I forget that I need to be with other people than myself. Not just myself and my thoughts. "Don’t you know? The quietest people often have the loudest minds". I think part of me avoided going outside, because it knew that it would make things better. Being outside generally does that to me, which is why I try to sit outside as much as possible, whatever I do. Maybe I knew I needed to cry-- I think so, because there was a sudden stream of tears down my face. Sometimes if I've got pent up stress and anger and feelings in general, I'll just abruptly start crying. The causes can be completely random-- before the exam, I sort of started crying whilst making my breakfast. I think maybe the trigger was the thought of poor children without food. Today it was a rather sad, but very optimistic blogpost, and listening to Creep by Radiohead and Zombie by The Cranberries. It just had me crying for a long time, and it didn't really make things any better like it does most of the time (in my case). And then I watched an old (three months- does that count as old?) video from the Take Me Home Tour, and I just suddenly felt tears escaping my eyes. It's been a month now? And I'm still a bit in the post-concert depression. Anyway, I decided to read a fanfiction outside on my balcony. And it cheered me up. Most of all though, it was my friends and co-students. I need to remind myself of the little things. Like rediscovering old music favorites. Sand In Your Shoes by This Providence- god, I really love that song.