Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do. All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

It's only like 10 in the morning, and I've already had a cry. I watched a bit of One Born Every Minute, and of course I sat down to watch the one baby with complications. I have always thought that hospitals equals waiting, and I cannot imagine the long await to hear if your baby is okay. Anyway, I cried as per usual, and now I'm back upstairs. It's been good having the past few days off, and I've only got two shifts this week-- one today, and one tomorrow. Working evening, then day afterwards is one of my favourite combinations because it feels like I'm done so quickly. Well, it depends whether the shifts will be okay or not. I'll just have to see. I am trying to live now, and not think so much about afterwards, because I always hate feeling like I'm just waiting. So unless I need to think of the future, I try to think about now. It's a hardship and an endless battle. I am going to spend the hours before my shift showering, reading fan fiction and eating probably. That does sound like me. I am celebrating tomorrow, which feels kind of strange. It's supposed to be a lot of rain and thunder tomorrow, so I'm not sure whether I should wear wellies with my dress or not. I am trying to get my mind to understand that I am turning twenty-two in not so long. It's not going so well. Have a splendid Tuesday!