I'm a good man with a good heart, had a tough time, got a rough start. But I finally learned to let it go.

I woke up to less pretty weather today, and it's almost evident in peoples faces how the weather affects you.  Anyways, these are some pictures I took yesterday when the sky was blue, blue. The title of this blogpost is from John Mayer's new song "Shadow Days", although it doesn't sound too new. His songs are kind of alike. Today I think I will skip Tryvann for schoolwork. Not too exciting. You can party all day and night if you want to, however, life will eventually catch up with you. And if you don't do anything about it, well, you might end up with nothing to party for.

so many songs we forgot to play

I think my converse does a pretty good job at portraying Tryvann. First day was a chaos standing in the line. We probably stood there for one hour pushed against each other. It was pure agony. I'm surprised nobody fainted in the crowd I was standing in. At multiple times I had someone pushing my chest and somebody pushing my back at the same time. I was seriously scared we'd stand like that forever, because I don't know about you, but it's not easy breathing while standing like that. And when I finally managed to get through the first gate, I lost my friends. I did find them again a little bit later. With other words, it put a real bummer on the evening. However, when the night was ended, I think most could conclude with an amazing night. My legs were very very very tired, and I was glad to finally lie down and sleep. The next day we went a little bit earlier, and therefore we were a bit better at taking breaks from dancing. We sat in the "bar" a lot more, and we met new people, and some people we had met before. And I met a friend I hadn't seen in ages. I came home at ca. 3:00 with my hair and parts of my face soaked in beer. Today I woke up in agony. My whole body is hurting - my arms, legs, and back. However, I woke up to amazing amazing weather. Even better than yesterday. And good weather makes me happy any day. Right now I need to do schoolwork. Like crazy.

drowning by conor maynard

I miss her. Cause the one I'm looking at right now, she looks just like, sounds just like, feels just like you. But I'm so confused cause she doesn't seem like you.

live my life

Å. Det har ikke slått meg hvor sykt Tryvann blir før nå. Tenkte ikke over antallet mennesker som skal presse seg inn på samme sted, som skal danse til kvelden kommer man ikke orker lenger. All skole blir dyttet til side for en super gigantisk fest. Vet ikke om jeg bør være skremt av at jeg legger bort bekymringer. Eller om jeg bør være skremt over antallet mennesker som kommer trampende. Men jeg vet at jeg gleder meg helt sinnsykt.

sorry seems to be the hardest word

This is possibly the end result of my pants. I've been studding, stitching and painting. It has been like a journey, and I'm sure there will probably be more additions to my pants through the whole "russetid". But for now, it's all I can be bothered to do. I bought I Am Number Four on DVD after school today. I had planned watching it, and when I saw that it was on sale - why not?

crazy fangirl moment, sorry for being obnoxious

Do you remember when I said Zayn from One Direction is my favorite for two reasons? In case you didn't, I stated that he was my favorite because: 1 He would be great for Skins. 2 He slightly reminds me of Justin from Ugly Betty. And everything that reminds me of Ugly Betty is a win. I just watched an interview, where they were asked "if a movie was made about you, who would play each of you?". And guess what Zayn answered? Luke. Luke Pasqualino. As in Freddie. As in Effys boyfriend, who was murdered. Though I'm trying my hardest to fight against becoming a directioner, I find myself falling into a trap. However, though I have stated that Zayn is my favorite. Niall beats him. Just because he is Irish. Even though I'd have more in common with Zayn, Niall will beat him - because he is Irish. 

all those fairytales are full of shit

Payphone by Maroon 5 is so nice. Lovely lovely honest lyrics. Makes me go back and listen to only Maroon 5. And apparantely they are releasing a new album this year. Today I sat under my desk at school for one school-hour with the rest of my class, and I ate a cheeseburger in two bites. We tried going for a third "russeknute". However, it failed. Not because of us though. After school I went to O-town, where I bought a new CD. And that was it really. My mum came and gave me money for the doctor, and it felt sort of wrong. I've gotten so used to paying for everything myself, and so when my mum gave me money, I reluctantly took it. Right now I'm so tired I could die. And I don't even understand why I am so tired. I wonder if there are anyone camping outside my school tonight - that would be so fun to see. I hope someone does.

when I had you to myself I didn't want you around

(Pictures: Tumblr) 
Today is my sisters 15th birthday. And for some reason she does not really enjoy big birthday parties. Instead she went out with some of her closest friends and grabbed some pizza and whatnot. From the family she got a new smartphone, money and a CD. My mum made a disastrous chocolate cake - she never usually make chocolate cake. It's usually me, who buys one of those packages with ingredients, where all you have to do is to add some water and oil. I can't believe that "russetiden" is already here. My facebook newsfeed is filled with only "russe"-related things. My weeks are filled with "russe"-things, and I don't understand how I am supposed to manage everything that's going on at the moment. Right now I need to study. Like, really. I've got two things I should have started today. Instead I came home and started fixing my "russebukse" a little bit more. I guess it's just nice to be a bit creative sometimes.

the civil wars

The Civil Wars does not only provide awesome music, but they also do amazing covers.

good ones go

Yesterday, as we were sitting on the bus home from school, I spontaneously asked S if she wanted me to come home with her and fix her "russebukse". She gladly said yes, and then proceeded to ask if I wanted to sleep over, because A was maybe sleeping over as well. I said yes and suggested to watch a scary movie. We told M, who had lost her bus and therefore sitting at the same bus as us. She asked if she could join the group, and we said yes. I and S sprinted home to my place to get all my stuff, and we were quickly off again. Yesterday also happened to be the beginning of the "russetid". I didn't go to the big party, mostly because there were no one else (of my friends) who was going. Plus .. it was going to rain, and it was cold. Instead we started fixing our pants, and I stitched the pearls on my tree frantically. A bit before midnight one of the girls suggested we'd go to the afterparty, and we were like: "why not?". I was still not done with my tree, so I was stitching even more frantically, whilst my friends were putting their make-up on. I was so sleepy. So sleepy I thought my head would just fall on the ground, whilst I was stitching. We ended up not leaving until 1:15 or so, and we stayed till the club was shut down by the police. We only met one group we knew on beforehand, the rest were strangers. But that didn't stop us from dancing like crazies. I imagine I look like Pandora (from Skins) on the dance floor. It wouldn't surprise me. There weren't only "russ" in the location, but also older men and women. We suspected they were all trying to get some. And I'm not surprised. The "russ" do some crazy stuff sometimes, and I suspect it's much easier to get some at this time of the year. But then again, this meant unwelcome hands grabbing and groping each other. I wasn't too surprised that it happened on the dance floor. However, we were standing outside to get some fresh air. And when we were walking towards some other people, this guy just decided to slightly grab my hip. I didn't quite grasp what just happened, until I was looking at one of the guys we knew. He was asking me if I knew the guy, with a question mark on his face. I said no, and we shared a laugh. Anyways, we left shortly after that, because the club was closing. We came back to the house soaking wet. It was snowing like crazy yesterday night. And we decided to watch Friends With Benefits. I don't really think I liked it, but then again, I was almost falling asleep during the movie. We went to bed between 5:15-5:30, and woke up 11:00 today.

Two things I've learned the last 48 hours: firstly - to become a bit more spontaneous - when I can of course. I will probably never ditch schoolwork if it is needed. Second - bring a load of "russe"-cards at all times. I had to ask S to give me some of her cards, because I knew there were going to be kids asking. Kids are experts on spotting the "russes". And I was right. As we were rushing through the mall before going home, there were a girl asking her parents "when am I going to become a russ", and I just thought it was hilarious as she was the age of 5 or so. Right now I'm tired. Really sleepy. But I must do some schoolwork. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow is a good day to do some homework. Definitely.

I will tell your story and keep you alive

My music list at the moment 
1 Some Die Young by Laleh
2 Don't Go by Rae Morris
3 Love This Life by T.I
4 One Thing by One Direction
5 Wild Ones by Flo Rida ft. Sia

Today I had my last mock exam. The moment I came home, I ate and watched Friends, before I was off to Maria. We were once again decorating our "russebukse", whom we are wearing tomorrow. Inside out. Yes, and I am already sick of the pants. I haven't worn them, but just thinking about wearing the same pants for a month is really killing me. After the mock exam I went to the mall nearby my school in order to buy some essentials, and I walked through a clothing shop. And oh my gosh. I fell in love with almost everything. I guess it's a good thing too. I'll be saving money. Tomorrow I'm taking the bus, which I haven't done in almost a month .. well three weeks.

some die young

Døden har vært et ganske vanlig ord i mitt vokabular de siste årene. Det er en tanke som har slått meg ofte. I midten av februar i år fant jeg en klump i brystet. Ufarlig tenkte jeg. Jada, ufarlig. Jeg kan ikke dø, jeg er jo så ung, tenkte jeg. Men tanken om kreft snek seg tilbake til hjernen, uansett hvor mye jeg prøvde å glemme det. Så jeg dro meg til legekontoret - en måned etter jeg oppdaget klumpen. Sa ingenting til ingen. Jeg ville ha svar der og da. Håpte at jeg fikk vite om det var noe ufarlig, eller om det faktisk var noe skummelt. Men så måtte jeg komme tilbake igjen. En måned etter. I mellomtiden klarte jeg å tenke på lykkeligere tanker. Ja, det går fint, jeg er frisk. For jeg er jo frisk, har aldri hatt noen symptomer. Snakket om det til venner og familie. Ja, snakket til andre om det. Jeg klarte å slutte å tenke på klumpen. Helt fullstendig. Til det var tid for meg å dra til legen igjen. Jeg håpte igjen på å finne svar. Men i stedet sa han at jeg måtte bestille time til mammografi. Frykten kom tilbake. Min eldste søster var bekymret. Noen sier at man blir født med morsinstinkt. Det tror jeg er tull. Jeg tror det handler om øving. Om du har hatt småsøsken. Min eldste søster var vår andre mor. Det er hun fortsatt. Selv om hun har fått eget barn, klager hun alltid på at vi har på lite klær, og kommer for å kneppe opp jakken og ta på oss skjerf. Hun prøvde å kjøpe meg ting. "Det var en fin shorts," sa søsteren min. "Ja, det var en fin farge," sier jeg. "Vil du ha den? Jeg kan kjøpe den til deg," sier hun. "Neida, den passer sikkert ikke," sier jeg. Også gikk vi videre, til jeg så på noe annet. "Vil du ha den?" spør hun, og jeg sier nei atter en gang. I dag dro jeg til radiologen. Jeg la meg ned på en stol, toppløs, i et lite grått rom med en maskin stående ved stolen min. Det var rart, men egentlig ikke. Det har blitt en prosedyre jeg har blitt vant til. Frykten dro raskt. En dame med et smil kom inn og presenterte seg. Hun fortalte ting jeg allerede visste, men det var fortsatt betryggende. Jeg fikk en ultralyd, og tenkte på utdanningsvalget mitt. Jordmord. Der skal jeg ta masse ultralyd på andre, men ikke i brystet. Magen. Det var facinerende nesten. Jeg forsøkte å se etter hva som var klumpen. Men jeg så ingenting. Skjønte ikke hva de gråe greiene var. Hun sa at det mest sannsynligvis var en ufarlig klump. Stenen på skuldrene mine falt, og jeg ble glad igjen. Men jeg skal tilbake. Med mamma. Ja, jeg merker at i slike tider blir jeg barn igjen. Jeg blir baby, nesten. Jeg vil ha mamma. Selv om hun irriterer meg utrolig noen ganger med alt snakket hennes og alle tingene hun mener som jeg er helt i mot. Men nå er jeg plutselig mammas lille jente. Jeg skal stikke en nål i brystet. Det høres litt brutalt ut, men man gjør alt for å få svar. Det verste er egentlig ventingen. Jeg vil bare ha svar. Men ventingen får deg til å tenke på alt det du ikke vil tenke. Jeg har alltid tenkt at jeg er den typen som ikke er redd for å dø. Jeg har ikke levd et særlig langt liv, og jeg har ikke funnet kjærligheten, jeg har ikke barn. Det er kanskje urettferdig å dø ung, men jeg tror det er mer uutholdelig å dø når man har så mye å miste. Det jeg tror er det vanskeligste, er å se dine nærmeste slite med å godta det. Tenk å miste et barn før du skal dø. Det tenker jeg er det vanskeligste. Jeg er helt ok. Jeg tror at alt skal gå bra, vet nesten at alt skal gå bra. Er ikke redd for å jinxe megselv engang. Uansett har jeg levd et godt liv, nei, et fantastisk liv. Og jeg har minner som får meg til å smile, le, gråte. Noen dør ung, og selvom det er urettferdig, skjer det.

fill my world with hope again

Skins season six was not completely without music that captured my ears. Rae Morris with Don't Go was played in the ending scene, and it was perfect. And it is just perfect to my ears.

this time I break down inside

Precious David and my sister left some hours ago. We strolled down to the train-station with the baby stroller. When my sister left, we had to take the stroller home. My younger sister ditched me of course, and I had to go to the elevator myself. And this woman asked me: is it your baby? And I had to explain that there were no baby, and the baby was my sisters, and this was the stroller she has at my house. And she was just like: oh, I thought you were too young to have baby. Babies are hard to take care of. I felt like nodding, but as I never have watched a baby for a whole day, I didn't. But it made me think. If she possibly thought I had a baby, all the days where I've been strolling with David, people must have believed I'm his mum. Which doesn't seem to impossible, as I've had dark circles around my eyes the whole week. I've been waking up so early, and falling asleep so late. When I came back home, I packed away all the babystuff, and vacuumed. Almost like cleaning all the traces of them. But I can still smell David around the house. It's haunting. Anyways, tomorrow I'm going to the doctor really early, so I have to get some sleep today. Right now I just finished doing some work on my "russebukse", but it's taking forever, which stresses me, as it's supposed to be finished by Friday.

sometimes people make the wrong moves

I'm back! And I have a valid excuse. The Internet has been gone for a couple days, which annoyed me immensly, as it is the one single thing I live for. No, joke. I am slightly happy, because I got to spend a lot more time with my family. My sister and nephew is leaving tomorrow, which saddens me. And I have been sniffing Davids scent all day. Oh and his mushy cheeks. And his chicken legs .. and and and - well, everything.

harry's got the jungle worms

I was spending some time with my sister yesterday in her room for some reason, and she invited me to watch iCarly, as it was one of the top watched videos on Youtube. Turns out it was because on One Direction. And my sister surprised me with knowing all their names. Surprised me, because she isn't a fangirl-type. And as if she had read my mind, she said she knew their names because her friends are obsessed with them. And one of those friends had drawn these drawings and given them to my sister. I think she actually did a decent job on Harry and Louis. The others were .. questionable. Don't worry, my fangirl does only involve Nick Jonas, whom I've been listening to all day. But I'd just like to throw my opinion about One Direction out there. I firstly heard about them back in August, when their "What Makes You Beautiful" music video was one of the most watched videos on Youtube. And I did admit that I thought it was a catchy tune, and that the boys were somewhat hot. At first sight they look more like the guy you bring home. But then you have Zayn and Niall, whom are huge smokers. Plus they attend nightclubs and get pissed, and shag everything they come over. It's not Disney with other words. Okay that was a little harsh, but I believe some of it is true. One of the reasons why I'm bringing these guys up, is because I had a dream about meeting them yesterday. And I vaguely remember me saying to Zayn: "If you were a horse, you would be a pure beauty". And it is true! His face is almost perfectly shaped with perfect symmetry. He is definitely my favorite for two reasons: 1 He would be great for Skins. 2 He slightly reminds me of Justin from Ugly Betty. And everything that reminds me of Ugly Betty is a win.

open your eyes

I finished packing my dads birthday gift just an hour ago. I decided to not waste any of the paper, so I made some flowers and whatnot. I biked home in the rain today, and it felt kind of nice. I'm sure all the drivers thought I was crazy as the rain was falling on me, and I was smiling to myself. Sometimes the rain and I are not friends. Other times, we are best mates. Like, I walked outside yesterday in the rain in order to toss some rubbish. And the rain just poured down, and I lifted my head towards the sky with my eyes closed just for a little moment. Feeling the rain drops hit my face. And then I headed in again. Running in the rain must be my favorite. Only if the air is a bit warm of course. Anyways, I realised today while biking, that I wasn't as exhausted as I usually am. And it really gives you a satisfaction. It really does. Tomorrow I have another test/mock exam, and then later tomorrow my sister and my nephew is coming. I really really cannot wait. Plus I've got mostly of the next week off. Well, it's really study-days, but most of them will probably be used as hanging-out-with-my-nephew-days.

I keep on staring to the past

I've finally managed to finish watching Skins. Three months after it officially ran. They've really made it a habit to kill people for each cast, haven't they? It's so odd, because out of all the characters, I mostly loved Liv's episode, whom I didn't really care for the first season with the new cast. But then again ..  season five sucked balls. I didn't even once shed a tear, which is very very rare.

I am a little bit unsure what I think of this season. But I must say that I was very impressed by the first episode. I don't understand how they managed to capture so many things in such a short amount of time. I do also admit that I've had a laugh watching this season, and I've been drowning in tears. Which was the reason why I loved Liv's episode the most. I love a good cry. And it just perfectly captured everything I think Skins symbolizes. Confused teenagers who happens to be at the wrong places to the wrong times. Plus I really liked the last episode as well. It's nice to see that through all the hell they are going through, there can be a happy ending.

One of the cons was that I wanted to watch a little bit more of Rich's emotions. I was a bit like Liv: why aren't you screwed up? Your girlfriend died! But then again I think it was nice to see a little bit change .. that he managed to handle it all so well, rather than getting pissed and doing drugs all the time. Another con is very individual. I didn't find any new music that I loved. But maybe it was because I was so busy watching the whole thing. So I think I will thumb up this season. I will always be drawn back to the first two casts, and I don't think I really managed to make any favorites throughout this season. I will always miss Tony and Effy Stonem. Always.

smile though your heart is breaking

Det er en bittersøt følelse. Plutselig er jeg på topp på verden. Også er jeg plutselig helt nede, og alt er galt i verden. Og jeg finner meg i å lure på om det er meg. Om det faktisk er jeg som er lei meg, eller om det er noe jeg innbiller meg, eller om det er en annens smerte jeg har tatt på meg. For mennesket eier medfølelse. Men betyr det at du kan føle en annens smerte? Det tror jeg ikke. Men så er det jo det tomrommet. Følelsen av at noe mangler. Hele tiden. Også når du er på topp på verden, når du har alt. Men det er noe som mangler. Og vi ønsker bare mer. Bare for å fylle det tomrommet. Gamle minner som ikke engang tilhører meg kan få meg på gråten. Kanskje skyldes det at det er kveld, og at jeg er overfølsom. Nå har jeg lest igjennom det jeg har skrevet, og en kan jo konkludere med at jeg er deprimert. Men det tror jeg ikke på. Det blir feil å diagnosere meg noe jeg selv vet jeg ikke lider av. Jeg tror jeg er filosofisk. Jeg er en drømmer. Jeg lever seperate liv. Et grått liv i hverdagen, og et fargerikt liv i drømmene. Dagen jeg gir slipp på drømmene mine, er dagen jeg blir deprimert. Eller dør for den saks skyld. Nå hører jeg på Nat King Cole. Alle klassikere får meg til å smile. Jeg skulle ønske jeg hadde en bestefar som plapret på et språk som var forståelig for meg. Jeg vet at mange unngår besteforeldrene sine når de blir eldre. De prater bare om krigen, sier de. Om nonsens. Men jeg synes det er underholdende å høre på eldre. De har så mye å si. Så mye. Min bestefar bor på den andre siden av verden. Og han prater et språk jeg forstår lite av. Og han prater stortsett lite også. Men det er familien min. De sier ikke så mye, ikke så mye om personlige ting. Dagen jeg dro fra besteforeldrene mine, satt jeg med min bestemor på soverommet jeg hadde sovet på i 2 og en halv uke. Hun gråt og holdt meg i hånda. Jeg spurte henne hvorfor hun gråt. Prøvde å trøste henne. Hun sa at hun ikke visste når vi skulle komme neste gang. Det hadde vært lenge siden foreldrene mine hadde vært i Kina siden sist. Over et tiår. Og bestemor innrømte at hun var redd hun skulle være død neste gang vi kom til Kina. Jeg hadde ingen ord. Kunne ikke si mye. Kunne ikke språket. Så jeg satt jeg med hånda hennes i min. Jeg klemte den. Også reiste hun seg tilslutt, og vi gikk inn i stuen til de andre. Det er slike øyeblikk jeg aldri kommer til å glemme. Bestemoren min, eller nærmere, mormoren min er identisk med moren min. De er helt like.

Det er få som har et veldig nært forhold til sine mødre. Vel når jeg tenker på det, kjenner jeg mange som er bestevenner med sine mødre. Men for meg i hvertfall er det ikke faktum. Mamma er mamma for meg. Du glemmer litt at foreldrene dine er mennesker også. At de er en person med en personlighet. At de har levd et liv du ikke har vært vitne til. Dersom du tar deg tid til å lytte en dag, vil du nok bli servert historier som du aldri har hørt om før. Livet er en bittersøt reise. En lang reise, tenker du nå. Men når du ligger på dødsleiet, tenker du - det gikk forbi i en fei. Nevøen min er snart 6 måneder gammel. Det føles ut som om jeg møtte han for første gang i går. Da han sovnet i armene mine, og jeg nektet å legge han i krybben. Da jeg sniffet inn lukten av en baby. Første gang han lo med meg. Nå er det bare to dager til jeg ser han igjen, og min kjære søster. Livet passerer deg så fort uten at du er klar over det. Gjør det beste ut av alt. Ikke vær lei deg, når du vet at du kan være glad. Men husk at du har lov til å være lei deg også. Det er jo det livet går ut på. Å være lei seg, og å være glad.

you’re sadly mistaken if you think I'm into chasing

When I procrastinate, I'm very fond of drawing. But I have a valid excuse. My dad's birthday on the forthcoming Thursday. So I decided to draw a Pac-man card. A little boring, but it was all I could think of. I just watched a Emma Stone interview with Ellen .. and oh my gosh, I really love her voice. I think I need to watch Crazy Stupid Love again. But first I am going to study. And I really really really mean it this time!

it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

I am currently trying to study. I've really been procrastinating the last few days .. reading fan fiction, watching youtube-videos, writing, doing DIY-projects. I've basically done everything other than studying. It's only two days left of this vacation, and it's really killing me that this will be the last vacation ever at my current school. Right now I'm jamming on Taylor Swift songs while thinking of Nick Jonas. Yes, please do avoid checking in on my blog throughout this obsession-period. Or else you will be served a little more of Nick Jonas then you really want.

I want to write you a love song

I can't help it. I'm once again lusting after Nick Jonas. Perfect timing, as he is single. That means I can lust after him with a good conscience. I just spent 1 hour and 30 minutes watching an old live concert from 2010 with Nick Jonas & the Administration. And I can't help thinking how talented he really is. I don't understand how he is able to do so many different types of music. I especially love his cover of Can't Take My Eyes Off You. Personally, I think he has an angelic voice, and I wouldn't mind him singing me to sleep. And I don't mind his looks either. And his hair. Those curls. Don't you just want to wrap your hands around his head and feel them curls? No? Okay, just me then .. awkward. I really really cannot explain how excited I am for the new Jonas Brothers music that hopefully will come out in 2012. The haters said we (the fans) would get tired within a year or two. But I've been fans of them since 2007. I've grown up with them. Just like some grew up with Hanson.

hey I heard you were a wild one

Things I kind of want now. I wish I was rich.

you know you love this life

Today was slightly a DIY-day. I was looking through my wardrobe, and the pair of jeans that used to be my absolute favorites, were now my most hated ones. And as I always do whenever I don't really care about the clothing, I start clipping in it. I made two holes, and distressed them. Wore the jeans at the mall with matching homeless-looking clothes. A bit too much for my taste. Next time I need to balance it out with something feminine. But I kind of like the "careless" look. Distressed jeans, tee and no makeup. Doesn't necessarily look pretty to everyone, but who says you are dressing to impress others? You should be dressing for you, and only you (except for job interviews, first meeting with parents to your other half, etc). I was at the mall to fetch my fabric-paint that I had ordered a week ago, and I started painting my pants. I don't know exactly what my feelings are yet. But that's because it's so far from finished. I can't wait to show you the finished result - if there are any finished result. Right now I'm listening to T.I. out of everyone else I could be listening to. So weird. But as I was listening to mainstream music yesterday (Nicki Minaj, Flo Rida, etc), I came across Love This Life by T.I., and I kinda liked it. And the thing about rap-music - often rap is the music with the most meaningful lyrics. And what can be better than a nice beat plus awesome lyrics?

I'm writing on a little piece as always. I have my old blog on private, and occasionally I post texts there. The one I'm writing on now is the longest I've written, and the most cheesy. Anyways, have a happy Easter.
PS: Have you ever seen Coraline? I totally thought it would be a nice family movie, but woah, I was really scared. And it even managed to keep my younger sister interested - she watched the whole thing.

caught in a nightmare, can't wake up

Yesterday I went to Sweden with my family. And my gosh, you can almost see that it's the season for young, stupid Norwegians for buying alcohol. Anyways, we bought loads of Capri Sonne. And that was honestly all I wanted. The picture is of my personal stash. Chocolate and Capri Sonne - lovely. I did also buy some fabric and fabric-paint for my "russebukse" whilst I was in Sweden. I think I might continue decorating it now, before I need to start studying. But before all of that, I need to catch up with Youtube. It's like the videos comes flooding in when I want them the least, and then there are none to watch when I want them the most.

paddy de courcy

"Everybody remembers where they were the day they heard that Paddy de Courcy was getting married’ But for four women in particular, the big news about the charismatic politician is especially momentous … Stylist Lola has every reason to be interested in who Paddy’s marrying – because although she’s his girlfriend, she definitely isn’t the bride-to-be. Heartbroken, she flees the city for a cottage by the sea. But will Lola’s retreat prove as idyllic as she hopes? … Not if journalist Grace has anything to do with it. She wants the inside story on the de Courcy engagement and thinks Lola holds the key. Grace’s sister, Marnie, might be able to help but she’s too busy holding her perfect life – perfect husband, perfect children, perfect house – together. And what of the soon to be Mrs de Courcy … Alicia will has waited a long time for this and is determined to be the perfect politician’s wife. But does she know the real Paddy de Courcy? Four very different women. One awfully charming man. And the dark secret that binds them all …"

Another book review? Yes, you are entitled to sigh now. It's been a really long time since I last read this book, which was a good thing, because I didn't remember what happened with all the characters. It was a pain to read this sometimes, and sometimes I had to skip a page, because the details are so excruciating. I don't wait to be a spoiler, but this isn't really a book review, more like a blog post to release some of my thoughts. The dark secret that binds them all is that Paddy is violent. So violent he's probably be able to kill someone with his bare hands. Reading about how he treated the women, how he beat them .. it really did disgust me. But I also realise that I was almost more disgusted by the behavior of the women. I found myself wondering how someone could be so stupid and fall in a trap like that. And it made me scared. Most women says that if the man she loves hit her, she'll pack her bags and leave. But really, do you do it? Not all of them. Some are convinced that it was only a one-time-thing that will never happen again. And when it happen again, they make excuses. But it's not only the women. It's the man, the manipulative man that places words in her mouth. By reading this book, I can only hope that I will learn from their (the women) mistakes. But everyone knows that you can't learn from peoples mistakes all the time. There are certain things in life you will have to experience yourself. I love Marian Keyes, I don't think I've ever hid that fact. And this book is truthfully splendid. I don't understand how she is able to portrait something so horrible like this. And how it's still comedy though it's a glum theme. As a fan of Marian Keys, I know some facts about her. And through reading her newsletters I've made up my mind about her. And whilst reading this book, I found there were come characters in this book that were so much alike her. This book took me about three days of reading, though you could probably read it in two. It's over six hundred pages in small letters. But considering she is illustrating four different women, it's almost like she smashed four different novels into one.

I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you

This kind of broke my heart. I basically cried throughout the whole video. At the montage I couldn't decide whether to cry or laugh, so I did both. Between a sob, came a little laugh. But that was Malachi. He could be so funny, and do the weirdest things like crossing his legs, but he would also be so gentle. #Restinpeace

you're too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you

I spent the night over at Roya's, and we (well she) had a little DIY-project with her newly bought studs from Ebay. It suited me quite good, as I got the time to design my "russebukse". We woke up today, and the sun was shining quite bright, so after spending time in Roya's bedroom, we decided to go outside. Before this I had a little quiz-time in history with Roya's younger sister, which honestly was quite nice. Turns out I quite enjoy history. Anyways, we went outside in the sun, played cards, and ate strawberries. Then I walked home, which took me a while. Five minutes after I had arrived home, I was once again out the door: next stop was Maria's house. We were decorating our "russebukse", and I was lucky to avoid doing mistakes, unlike the others. Though I did burn a bit of my S. Anyways, we ate pizza, and then Alex left. I stayed with Maria, and we studded her flag. And then I left - walked the way home. I am very fond of walking in the dark. I can never justify sitting outside and observe the sky, it would just feel like wasting time. And I don't have much spare time, so I like to use it effectively. But when I am walking, I am allowed to observe the sky, because I'm simply walking home. And it is such a gorgeous view. Both the stars and the moon, but also the light from all the houses far away. I was actually "house-shopping" (as in window-shopping). And turns out it takes only 30 minutes to walk. That really surprised me, as I had thought it would take me at least 45 minutes. Oh well, right now I'm about to take my vitamins, watch Shaytards, then continue to read This Charming Man by Marian Keyes. Have a wonderful evening.

I heard him screaming out your name

It was only a few days ago that Shay (Shaytards) sat down beside Malachi, and said it would be nice to have these videos (the vlogs) to watch after Malachi was gone. Little did I know it would be so soon. And you'd believe I'd just leave a sigh and go on, because it isn't my dog. It's a dog I've been watching over the internet. A family I have been watching over the internet. But somehow it aches me slightly. He was such a nice dog. I remember watching the vlog where they had first brought home Rocktard, and how Malachi carefully sniffed Rocktard and welcomed him as a new member. And the countless times Shay has declared that Malachi was their first son. Malachi will be missed dearly by his fans. And I cannot imagine how much he will be missed by his family. #Restinpeace 

pittacus lore

"John Smith is not your average teenager. He regularly moves from small town to small town. He changes his name and identity. He does not pull down roots. He cannot tell anyone who or what he really is. If he stops moving those who hunt him will find and kill him. But you can't run for ever. So when he stops in Paradise, Ohio, John decides to try and settle down. To fit in. And for the first time he makes some real friends. People he cares about - and who care about him. Never in John's short life has there been space for friendship, or even love. But it's just a matter of time before John's secret is revealed. He was once one of nine. Three of them have been killed. John is Number Four. He knows that he is next ..."

It took me less than six hours to read this book. And I will admit that I found it slightly disappointing. Usually a movie is worse than the book. I found that the book was just as exciting as the movie, maybe a little less. But that didn't stop me from reading the sequel. That's a whole different story. I was so frightened during reading The Power of Six, that I occasionally had to stop reading in order to watch something that cheered me up. And I will admit that I'm hooked now. It might have been something to do with the abrupt ending. I was counting the chapters left as I was reading, a little saddened for less chapters to read. But I'm also sure that it had something to do with the increased action scenes. And shocking things were revealed - things that totally caught me off guard. Plus it was written in two perspectives. It doesn't get much more exciting than that. You know when you're reading something and then the climax is just about to come, and you know it. Then the author shifts over to the other main person, and you just have to keep reading in order to find out what happens to the other. The next book doesn't come out until August, which leaves me a bit .. well, sad. I can only recommend it. I don't even care if you're not a sci-fi fan, I'm not usually one, but I loved this. I loved it so much, that I'm even a bit frightened now. However, though I think The Power of Six is better than I Am Number Four, I think it's very important to read both. Every little bit of information is important.

it was dark

Just sent in the final paper. And I must admit that I am completely ashamed of my work. If I get degraded at least one grade, I won't even be bothered. Just because it's what I deserve. I'm the type of person who finishes a test, presentation, paper or whatever, and then go into denial. It never happened. "How did it go on your test?" "Oh what test?". And it's not like I'm kidding. I simply forget them. Until I have to make myself look at the result, the grade. And when I get a good grade, I'm like: "Awesome!" for perhaps an hour or less, and it's forgotten. It's in the past. But if I get a bad grade, it sticks. Kind of engraves into my brain. But I go into denial-mode. I try to forget. And I do, till the last day of school where we are handed all the grades. And all the memories comes rushing back to my brain. All that work on trying denying things - all for nothing. Oh well, after isolating myself in this bedroom for the weekend, I'm going to read a book. Finally. I've really been waiting for this. But first I'm going to jump in the shower.

please don't cry you liar

I've realised that I'm a very good "snacker". I usually only snack on fruits and juice, though the most preferable alternative would be water. Right now I'm struggling to finish my paper, just because I'm the best procrastinator in this entire world. I just spent a shit load of time reading stories on Youtube (like when people post almost novel-like stories on Youtube). And it's like, I knew I wouldn't stop until I had read everything the second I clicked the first video. It was a choice. And somehow, though I must admit to getting quite a few great grades lately, it always comes down to the bad ones. No matter how good I did it in one subject, it's always something scratching my brain. And it's annoying. I can't even imagine being a perfectionist. I would die.

everything comes to an end

But the endings are truthfully just new beginnings. April this year means Easter, mock exams, spring and the start of Russetiden 2012! But first of all I really do need to finish my paper in philosophy. I'm happily nearly done (what a weird sentence). But I always delay sending my papers in, until I really need, just in case if I think of something important. Anyways, I'm writing about happiness and the good life. And it's really a big eye-opener sometimes. Nelly Furtado sang: "Why do all good things come to an end". Things come to an end, just so you can experience new things. People dream about being on a happy-cloud all the time. But you've gotta realise that what made you happy then, isn't necessarily what makes you happy now. And as humans, we will always crave new things. We will always wish for something new, make new goals. It's the way we live. It is also important to realise that happiness is a state of mind, not a goal. Happiness is something you have to provide yourself, you can't rely on things to make you happy. It's your choice to be happy. The good life is intertwined with happiness. And therefore you must sit down and be thankful, and just be happy for things. That is the only way you will experience "the good life". And you must, really must understand that the good life isn't about being happy at all times. It is about experiencing, failing and then learning from it. True story. And no, I haven't yet watched any HIMYM!

Edit: I take back what I said about spring. It's snowing outside.