written on these walls are the colours that I can't change

Here it is! I kept my promise for once! I bought the lipstick a week ago, but it's called "Diva Red" and it's by Rimmel. Yesterday I bought myself a new "Face and body" foundation by MAC, because I needed a lighter shade for my winter skin. And as you can see in the second photo, it's quite the difference. Both in size and color. I went with a 50 ml bottle because that was the only one available in the shop, but also because I wouldn't need a bigger one. I've had the 120 ml bottle for ages, and it's a bit unpractical as you can't travel around with it in your hand luggage. So yes, now it's all solved. I also bought a blush called "Peaches". It's a very nice coral colored blush, which is my favorite color for blushes anyway. The day has passed in a whim, and I forgot that it was late right now, and er, blasted music for a bit. Whoops. I'm listening to the new playlist Kiwi sent me, and it's so chill. It's actually like one of the hundreds of playlists on 8tracks when I search for the tags: "sleeping", "chill", "calm", etc. You know what? I was scrolling through Liam Payne's ex's Twitter, and she wrote about Union J, and saying it was her second favorite boyband. My heart melted a bit then. And speaking of One Direction, I think it's a bit unfair how Zayn always looks so bloody dashing and broody and just really pretty. Goodness gracious, can't decide whether I'd like to see him as a model or an actor in Skins. Probably both. Anyway, I didn't go to bed until 10:00 pm last night, but it was so needed. Albeit, I did still feel a bit groggy in the morning. And the first lecture was interesting in my opinion, but that's because it was basically human geography, and I love that. And then we had another lecture that was a bit more on the boring side in my opinion. But we managed to get through it, Kiwi and I. After school I went home, finally not when it's rush time-- which I really do loathe. I mean, Sugar used to complain about the public transport a lot, but I think I've taken her role now. I'm just not good with being tired and crowded areas with bad air. Anyway, I went home to finish the birthday card to my sister. Then I went to the mall to post it, and did all the errands I was supposed to do. The only thing I've not done on my to-do-list for today, is to finish my paper. I guess I'll just do it on Friday. I've got the time, so I'm not too stressed about it. I'm actually going out tomorrow for Halloween. I've not dressed up for Halloween in years, so that will be interesting. Other than that, I've finally managed to watch the new "tard" being born into the world. Meaning the offspring belonging to Shay Carl and Colette a.k.a. the Shaytards. I did surprisingly not weep at the birth, but I did weep when I saw Sontard holding Brotard for the first time. I've just got a sweet spot for Sontard, because he is genuinely the sweetest kid ever. And then I went on to watch Kayli and Casey announce that they're pregnant. And that was a bit emotional too. And then I read a ghost fanfiction, and that was sad too. So I've been weeping a bit. (Is it really awful if I write: "and that's the story of my life" as a pun? Yeah? Okay). Have a nice night, and sleep well.

running after you is like chasing the clouds

Hello, hi! Yes, where should I start? When I got back home on Sunday, it felt like I'd been gone for a week. Not just for the weekend. I guess it's because of all the stress and the packed schedule we had everyday. It makes me anxious about my Lynx' wedding, which I think will be so stressful. I'll probably get loads of tasks, and course I'll help, but it'll still be very stressful. On Friday, after arriving and eating food, I sat down in the sofa in order to listen to the new 1D single, Story Of My Life. Volla mouthed "what are you doing?" because I was basically gaping and staring at air. I was pleasantly surprised by the song, as I really do love it. It's actually my type of music, which is a really big turn around from Best Song Ever, which is nothing like my music style. Even Monchita liked the song, which really does mean it's good. My favorite part is when Zayn sings "running after you is like chasing the clouds", because his voice is just heavenly. Like, when he sings "the clouds" it gives me shivers. The birthday celebration for David was set on Saturday, and it was a lot that had to be done. And basically, I spent two hours surrounded by children between 2 weeks old to 4 years old. I do like babies, but I'm just not so fond of loads at one time. And then, without a pause we had a celebration for the family as well, so the whole lot of Grepper's family came. And I realised that I spend more time with his family than my own relatives. I'm just really glad I genuinely like all of them. Later that evening, we decided to watch The Lone Ranger, and I must admit that I really liked it, despite almost dozing off a few times. I rarely fall asleep during a movie, but I was just so bloody tired of not having slept enough and the birthday celebration. My mum went to bed before we started the movie, and Grepper went to bed in the midst of the movie. The rest of us watched the whole thing. On Sunday, a few of the friends of my sisters came over to eat leftovers and chat with their children. I didn't realise they were coming that early, so we were basically just finished eating our breakfast before we heard the bell ring. Also, Monchita, Volla and I decided to make Lynx and Grepper a romantic breakfast in the loft. Whilst they were eating and getting ready for the day, the rest of us held the guests with company. I got to hold my sisters best friend's baby for a long while, and it was so nice holding a baby that doesn't know how to sit properly. She's nine months, and it made me really sad about how David is growing like a wildfire. Which is also why I'm mostly bitter about losing all my pictures and videos on my iPhone. I've got so many videos of David growing up, and now they're gone forever. Anyway, we also changed the diaper to the 2 week old baby, who was perhaps the most silent baby I've ever met. And I hung out with a three year old, which was nice-- someone who'll actually speak back to you in not-baby-gibberish. Anyway, after the visitors left, Lynx, Monchita and I went to the hair salon to get our hair cut. I've cut about five centimeters, because my roots were really dry. And when it comes to hair, I don't think it's wise to keep hair that's damaged. I prefer quality to quantity when it comes to hair. Besides, I'd been aching for a bit shorter hair for a while. Shortly after having a haircut, we went to the airport. And it was nice being there early for once, because when you get in a bit late, you'll never find any seating. The airplane was right on time, and the plane was actually stuffed. Only one vacant seat. When I got home, I was greeted with a package with my name on it, and I realised what it was within a few seconds. Kiwi's made me a new playlist that I've named "No Name", since she told me to name it myself. The name is actually from a song called No Name by Ryan O'Shaugnessy, which is pretty sweet. I didn't listen to it on Sunday because I was too busy screwing up my iPhone and iTunes. Fell asleep at 2:00 am, and skipped most of my lectures. But hey, for about one minute, or two, the kilo-gang was actually all gathered for the first time in a long while. Filli and I started on the paper that we've got together. We've decided to be really effective, and well, the plan was to finish our own parts for ourselves, and then meet up today and do last finishes. I was actually not procrastinating after school yesterday, but I was fixing my iTunes, and it took a lot more time than expected, which means I sat with the paper until 1:30 am. Didn't fall asleep until 2:00 am. I considered skipping the lectures today as well, but I figured I should attend it because I skipped yesterdays. So yes, I had four hours sleep, and it's barely enough. After my lectures I also had to meet up with my study group and teacher. And seriously, it was so boring. And that's not a good mix with tiredness. After that meeting, and after fixing the paper with Filli, I went to a cafe with Sugar, Kiwi and Kiwi's friend. Although I felt like dozing off 50% of the time, I had a really great time just chatting. We were there about two hours (more or less) before we decided to carry on. Kiwi insisted on a photo shoot in the park, and it's not like I'm ever going to say no to that. We went down Karl Johans Gate to look for a scarf for Sugar. Our search was sadly not successful, but I got my make-up done in a MAC cosmetics stand. It was really nice. I always enjoy people doing either my hair or my make-up. It's really relaxing and therapeutic. I didn't leave empty handed, and if I actually can get my arse to do it, I'll take pictures of what I bought soon. So yes, that's what I've been doing the past few days. I've had so little time to actually blog about it, I've not even had time to write a birthday card to Volla who turns 28 today! She'll just have to receive her card a few days late. I'm not sure if I can write it today either. That's how tired I am. I'm supposed to edit the paper as well, but I think I actually have to get an early night today. I'm just really really knackered, and I'm surprised I've survived today this well. 

You don't understand. Pictures and music are like in my top four most important belongings. And now I've somehow managed screw up both my iTunes and my iPhone. Oh god, all my videos. I rarely let myself get down about things but right now I would love to just cry in sorrow and skip school tomorrow. And I've just gotten home from Aalesund, and this week is going to be full of stress, and everything just really sucks right now. 

a list of all the people I've mentioned and will mention on this blog

I've finally decided to make an overview of the people I have- and will mention on this blog. It will probably be updated as I meet new people that I want to mention on this blog. I'll try my best to link to this blogpost in the name of the people I mention in future blogposts. This will probably make things a lot easier -- as these names aren't actually their real names. This blog is not a work of fiction, but the names in it are the work of the author's imagination. The order of the names are alphabetical- not in the order of the people I like the most and the least. Oh, this reminds me very much of those blogs we used to make when we were younger, and you'd always include a page for your "friends". Also, the descriptions are what comes to my mind first. If I were to write proper descriptions of everyone, it would take me ages. And you know, time is money and all.

AGGY - A girl who is in my current "praksis" group, and at the same "praksis". She's a lot of fun to be with and really nice to talk with. I sometimes tend to be a bit motherly with her ("you have to wear warmer clothes", "tomorrow you have to wear a scarf") which is ironic because out of the two of us, she's an actual mum.

ALE - My good friend that I spent 3 years with at "high school" (it's not really high school, but there's no universal word for it, as school systems are different everywhere). She lives in Bergen and studies to become a nurse. She is also my pen pal. The kind of person that everyone should have in their lives.

ALLIE - A girl who has been in my study group several times, and same "praksis" group (my third "praksis"), albeit in the other department. She's one of the kindest people I've ever meet, has a great head on her shoulders. Positive person and "wisdomous" as Joey (Friends, duh) said.

BELIEBER FRIEND - 1/4 of the kilo-gang and another fellow nurse student. And a fellow fangirl? Haha. She loves Justin Bieber, has a kitten although she's allergic. Doesn't appreciate it when you stare intensely at her. Lives with her boyfriend who I'll name Darren in case I'll ever mention him here.

CARMILA - A classmate from my masters. We're both more introverts than extroverts, and we've got similar study techniques, and we get each other.

CARLA - A girl I had my first "praksis" with and was in my first study group. She talks a lot and complains a lot.

FANTINE - Lumba's girlfriend. 

FAYE - A girl I had my first "praksis" with. We were in the same study group my second year at school. She's bold and bright, and owns no shame. Today (06.11.13) we walked past a guy in the hall, and she said loudly "the guy we just walked past was really hot". Like, loud enough for him to hear. And I was so baffled, because who does that? That's probably my favourite thing about her.

GREPPER - Husband of Lynx, my eldest sister, and the father of David, my nephew. He's an electrician and has a really big family I'm quite fond of. He shares a sense of sarcasm as me, and similar to me-- he's not an extrovert like Lynx, more silent. Except when he's had a few drinks.

INGRID - A girl who was in the same study group as me. She's really nice and including.

JACKO - Grepper's (my brother-in-law) brother-in-law. His standard question for me is: "how's your love life". We've got great banter together.

J.D. - A guy that I had "praksis" with twice. Once in the first year of nursing school, and once in the second year of nursing school. Although he enjoys scaring the crap out of me, he is actually quite nice and will help you if you need it. And if you enjoy having chats, J.D. really knows how to talk endlessly.

KIWI - 1/4 of the kilo-gang, and my fellow nurse student. I initially met her through Sugar, and she's got a really great music taste. And she made me two playlists for my birthday, which means she's instantly one of my favorite people. Despite her complaints about having a sparse wardrobe, I really like her simple style. (Always look good in stripes as well).

LUMBA - My older brother, who's six years older than me. He'll be really annoying and come slap you in the face for fun. But he'll also give you money to buy whatever you want. In the summers he goes backpacking. Usually in Europe, but sometimes other places too. He's one of my favourite people in this world, because although he's really annoying, he helps me with all the adult things I'm confused about.

LYNX - My eldest sister who is the mother of David and married to Grepper. She works in a kindergarten, occasionally works as a hairdresser and a training instructor once a week. She's exactly ten years older than me, and an extrovert like my mum, and unlike the rest of the family.

MAGGIE - Childhood friend who I used to make dance choreography with, not to mention all of our performances we made. We were tight-knit for a few years, and then we turned 13, and grew apart.

MANJA - A girl who was at the same "praksis" with me. She's strong headed and have a lot of opinions. She's kind and caring.

MARBLE - I spent 3 years with Marble at "high school" and despite sharing desk with her several times, we didn't become really good chums until our last year. She studies law, but she's always welcome to the kilo-gang. Occasionally we have movie nights and try to stay awake for as long as we can.

MARS - Oyster's younger sister that occasionally gives me piano lessons and used to be one of my biggest fans back in the days. She's the same age as my youngest sister, and they used to be best friends.

MOG - Volla's boyfriend. My sister calls him the catman, which well, he does own two cats. He's taller than some doors, kind and has an infectious laughter. Once accidentally stole a whole turkey.

MOLLY - A northern girl who was in my study group. I think she's hilarious and she doesn't understand why.

MONCHITA - Speaking of my younger sister - this will be her nickname on this blog from now on, as I've got three sisters. She likes to draw animals and tells me to say "hi" to whoever I'm speaking with. She's a 97-kid.

OYSTER - My oldest friend? Like, one that I'm still genuinely friends with. She's one year younger, and she tends to be my personal therapist when I need it. And basically, I've met more of her relatives than my own. She's also got a knack for make-up and hair, and it comes in handy quite often. She's studying to become a clinical dietitian? I'm not quite sure what the term is in English.

SALLY - A girl whom was in my study group the second year, and was at the same psychiatry "praksis" with me in second year (ala my third "praksis"). We've been in the same "praksis" group several times. A great girl, who knows how to weasel herself into your life. I am really fond of her, and really grateful to have met her.

STONE - A guy that currently works in the kindergarten I washed in for my summer job. He talks a lot, and isn't very good at staying still.

SUGAR - 1/4 of the kilo-gang, and yes, another fellow nurse student. Went to same "high school" as her for three years, albeit not the same class. We bonded over Hero by Enrique Iglesias, sitting on the bus together and having same classes. Along with Marble, we had a really great "russetid". I occasionally pretend to be Indian to annoy her (although I think I might just have been a bit Indian in my previous life). She's one of those people who I tell things to.

VOLLA - My other older sister, she's eight years older than me and lives in Trondheim. She's a medical laboratory scientist (according to Wikipedia), and drives around in an el-car. She's one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to travel. She like knitting and each Christmas we get a new pair of wool socks. 

You've got a warm heart, you've got a beautiful brain. But it's disintegrating, from all the medicine.

Hello lovelies! The sun is bright and making me squint a bit. A change from the weather yesterday, where the sky was grey and dull. It's a lot warmer than it's been for days, so it's really nice. I took advantage of the warmth yesterday, and went for a jog. Although it was a nice idea, it was probably not the smartest as I'd just eaten what I've taken a picture of. With dip, mind you. Also, the sky turns dark really quickly these days, and though I knew it would be dark by the time I got home from my jog, I still decided to go for a jog. So you know, good for my body, but not so good for my own safety. But I've never been very careful with my own safety when it comes to the darkness. Which is stupid, I know. Also, it started raining at the end of my jog, so I was soaked by the time I got inside the door. But weirdly enough, this jog was maybe my ideal-jog. I enjoy jogging when the weather isn't too warm, nor too cold. And when there's not loads of people jogging, and when it starts raining at the end? It was just perfect in my own opinion. I woke up at 10:00 am today, but I didn't get out of bed nearly two hours later. I mean, if you have the chance to, why not enjoy lying in bed for ages? I made myself some pancakes, and had actually been planning to make chocolate cake as well, but then my dad told me not to bake too much if I knew it would go to waste. And it made me think of something Marble said when we were baking last Saturday, so I decided to go for pancakes only. It's just that I was thinking of fresh baked goods when I awoke today, and though I'm not usually a fan of cakes and baked goods, I found myself yearning for it today. Anyway, I've just done a bit of packing for the weekend. I'm only bringing hand luggage this time, and I've forgotten about my great packing skills, hah. It's mostly just my nephew's birthday present that takes up half of the space in my backpack, but I don't really need that much space anyway. Oh dear, I reckon it will be a rather unhealthy weekend with loads of different types of cakes. One of Grepper's many sisters makes this really yummy cake. I hope she's going to make it this time too. This reminds me of that blogpost I was going to make, stating all the names I've previously mentioned on this blog. Maybe I can do that today. Oh, and I'm not bringing my computer to Aalesund, so I'm pretty sure I'm not going to blog anything. I've got quite a few bits and bobs I need to do today. I've really enjoyed having this week off, and I have been very unproductive, which stresses me a bit, because then I know I'll have to do loads when I get back home. And then there's Halloween coming up-- I've not dressed up in a costume for Halloween for years. Christ, summertime ends on Sunday! And it's literally November in no time now. And then Christmas is here in like, seconds after. That reminds me, Christmas wishes. Blimey, so little time. Oh alright, I must go and be productive now. I'll speak to you tomorrow xx. 

lay a whisper on my pillow, leave the winter on the ground

Did you know that unfamiliar sounds will wake us? That you'll sleep through the sounds you're used to-- the sound of cars driving past your house and the sound of your family waking up. But once it's something your brain perceive as something unfamiliar, you wake up. That's the reason why I'll usually wake up early whenever I sleep over at Marble, because there's the sound of dogs barking and birds chirping. Something I'm not used to. I'm reading about our conscience, because it's really interesting. To me it is, I guess. After having read the fan fiction inspired by Pretty Woman, I decided to watch the film as it is one of my all-time favorites. I wish I could remember when I saw it the first time, but all I can remember is that I loved so much. It's a proper Hollywood movie, but it's good nevertheless. Now I'm probably going to go on a 90s and 80s music roll. Listen to your heart when he's calling for you! (ten points to the one who guesses the song). I'm still a bit hung up on the past. Like, we have loads of VCRs and I'd love to find a VCR player. I don't care if the quality is significantly worse-- it's more about the memories, isn't it? I also have an itch to watch old Disney movies, so I might just do that today. The weather outside seems really dull, but it's warmer than it's been for days, so I might head to the mall later (meaning the grocery store to inspect food). I've been watching this tree outside my window progress throughout the seasons, and now it's almost emptied for yellow leaves. It's so sad, because this is the part about autumn I really don't like-- when the trees are all bare and naked, waiting for the winter to cover them. Oh well, nothing I can do about autumn, I can only change my own perception of autumn. Alright, have a really nice Wednesday, learn something new, and appreciate life. You know, the usual thing. 

all he wants to do is party with his pretty baby

Hello! I had a really big struggle to fall asleep last night, and I ended up sleeping for just a bit under six hours. That's usually fine if it's only a day or two. But in a long-term, that's not desirable. I was just so ready to go to bed, but once I got myself in bed and had been trying to fall asleep, I thought "well, now what?". I basically ended up looking at pictures of Liam Payne surfing in Australia. It was 11:45 pm, and I thought that Liam Payne surfing will be the death of me. He get's all squinty eyed caused by the direct sunlight, and his facial hair looks really good wet and I keep forgetting that Liam has these really nice muscles and whatnot. Oh well, I managed to fall asleep in the end. Waking up at 5:45 am might hurt, but I could have awoken much later. It's just that I like having a bit of time for myself. I'd rather have a relaxing morning than a stressful one. It's the little things isn't it? When I woke up I felt a bit dead, but thought to myself that this would be a good day. And I even got a seat on the train into school today. That almost made my day completely. That and the fact that the bus driver seemed really lovely. Anyway, after school today I decided to go to an exhibition. It's called "Behind The Green Door", which is an exhibition, which "explores ‘sustainability’ in architecture and city planning almost 30 years after the Brundtland Commission first launched the term. Instead of taking a position on what is and isn’t sustainable, Rotor wish to look at how projects and products refer to the term to present themselves". I was surprised to realise that I already knew a lot about "sustainability" in architecture. It's kind of become a trend within architecture-- to produce something environment friendly, and since I've been watching Grand Designs with Kevin McCloud, I've been watching a lot of new environment friendly technology within construction. Also, I learned a lot about it in "high school". But yes, this was a thing I've been wanting to do for a bit since I'm both a fan of the environment and architecture. And seeing as I was close by, why not? I think it's very important to do thing you want to do. This sound like the obvious solution, but things like going to an exhibition you want to see, or a movie you've been yearning to watch, or go to a restaurant by yourself in order to eat your favorite meal-- it's the kind of thing that requires company. Society says so, says it's lonely without. But remember that society isn't always right, and the norms of the society is only based on what the majority wants and needs. In other words, fuck what society says. It's so easy to choose the safe thing, to make excuses to why you shouldn't do whatever you want. So yes, do things you want to. Oh my god, my horoscope knows me so well, haha: "your friends and associates may see you as cool and calm today, but unbeknownst to them your fantasies are running wild. In fact, your inner world could feel so intense now that you withdraw a bit from your interactions with others. Ironically, this is exactly why everyone thinks you are more serene than you really feel". This describes me so well, not just today, but every day. Whenever I've had a presentation or anything school-related that means I'll have to stand in front of people and talk, I get really nervous. And inside it feels like I'm shaking and staggering. And once it's over, I still feel jittery. It's like I've built up all this nervousness to last me an hour. So naturally, each time I have a presentation, I always think it's going to be shit. But in my life I've only had people tell me "you're so calm and collected! How do you do it?". Which makes me go "what the hell are you talking about?". The mysteries of life. I'm going do to a bit of reading, and then watch a film. I've not got school until Friday, so who knows what I might get up to. 

could have loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

Wow, I've actually not been on my computer until now. And it appears that I didn't even scroll through my Twitter feed when I awoke. That's a bit odd, seeing as I always do. But now I've got loads to update myself on, I suppose. I've had the most chill day in forever. Slept til noon, read a fan fiction inspired by Pretty Woman, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. Then I ate some breakfast whilst watching Nigella cook. Made a birthday card for my nephew, did some knitting (I've not knitted for over a year!!), and then I rearranged some furniture in my bedroom, cleaned my wall for any anatomy pictures (which has left my wall uncomfortably naked), changed my bedding, vacuumed. And then I had a foot bath with the bathbomb "Avobath" by Lush. It's been the most relaxing thing I've done for probably a year. And it made me yearn for a proper bath and pruny skin. We used to have a bathtub in this house when we first moved in, but we quickly exchanged it for a shower, as it's more convenient. The last time I can remember having a bath, was in a hotel in Hong Kong in 2010. Anyway, the point is that I've had a really relaxing day, and the bones in my body feels a bit like jelly. This is good considering that the last weeks have been quite stressful. And as it is, it appears that I have been sleepwalking. That's according to my mum. And I can't really say anything otherwise, as I wouldn't have remembered sleepwalking anyway. Course my mum hasn't cared to tell me this, as it was my younger sister that popped inside the door and told me today. I asked my mum, and she affirmed it. Told me I had been walking down the hall, towards the stairs, mumbling to myself. It was probably in the middle of the night, as my mum was just up for a wee, so she tried to get contact, and when she realised that I was sleepwalking, she turned me around and tucked me back into my bed. And that was it, I guess. I don't have any remembrance of this. And it's so creepy to think that I've been sleepwalking. It's just made me think of that horror movie where that person straps on a camera on their head to see what they get up to whilst sleepwalking, only to realise that they're a murderer. Admittedly, I'm pretty sure I don't go around murdering people, and I've only sleepwalked once (at least I hope so). But it's still unsettling to know that you've got no control of your own body. After a bit of Googling (reminds me of a quote from a fan fiction I read months ago "And really, he hadn't thought of what to do if Google didn't help because -- well, he was born in the 90s, he doesn't really know how else to get information") I've learned that sleepwalking can be caused of sleep deprivation, chaotic sleep schedules, stress. And loads more of course, but I think these are the factors applicable for myself. Christ, One Direction only has eight concerts left of the Take Me Home tour. I can't believe it's been five months since I saw them in concert. Time flies by so quickly. The reason why I abruptly wrote about them is (well, I do think of them pretty much all the time) because of the preview of their new single Story Of My Life. I really don't know what to think of it, like, I still think the name of the song is terrible, but the 16-second preview doesn't sound terrible, so who knows? It's so odd now that I'm done with this "praksis". It's like I don't quite know what to do with my spare time anymore. Which is why I almost went crazy with restlessness this weekend. I think I'm just going to fill the time with things I've been wanting to do for a long time. We're all in charge of our own happiness, remember that. If you want something, try not to let fear cloud your wishes. Seriously, you'd believe I've become some kind of happiness guru considering how much I've written about happiness lately. Anyway, I'm going to eat something and then do a few things I've got on my list to do today. 

I will remember your face, cause I am still in love with that place. When the stars are the only things we share, will you be there?

Hi! We made macaroons last night, well, mostly Marble. It was her first try on macaroons, and they turned out really well! It was my third time watching someone making macaroons, ha. It's just that baking and I don't go well together. Basically, it's like how Chandler from Friends doesn't go well with cooking. Anyway, I've eaten far too many macaroons the past 24 hours, and I don't even enjoy sugary things that much. Marble and I ended up watching The Proposal, which I've not seen for ages, yet I still love it to bits. It's like I was saying to Marble; I've seen the movies so many times that I know all the scenes, and it's gotten to the point where I can almost recite the lines. Still, it's always great to watch! Also, I love Ryan Reynolds, not to mention Sandra Bullock and Betty White. What a really awesome cast. We also finally decided to watch Twilight, because I couldn't decide between the 40 (more or less) DVD's. For some reason-- maybe I've been blinded all this time -- I've never realised how bad Twilight really is. I mean, the plot line is good and all, and I wouldn't be surprised if the book is really good. But the film is just really full of over-dramatic scenes and odd-angled-filming. Not to mention the color? I get that the vampires are supposed to be pale and everything, but I just think they look too pale in the first movie. I don't know, it feels like I've gotten new glasses, and like everything is so different. Oh well. We ended up going to bed at 5:00 am, I think. And I was really dozing off whilst watching the end of Twilight. Like when you're trying to sit upright, but once in awhile the tiredness takes over, and your eyes are slipping together. And then you slightly doze off, before your head sort of bobs, and you're abruptly awake again. And then you do it all over again. I woke up at 12:00 am, whereas Marble woke up at 1:00 pm, which was when her alarm went off. I'm pretty sure Marble could have slept forever if she wanted to, that girl. We went to eat our breakfast whilst watching some kind of Swedish quiz show, and one of the questions were about The Tallest Man on Earth. So now I'm listening to The Dreamer by The Tallest Man on Earth, which is a really great tune. Anyway, it was really nice catching up with Marble-- not that it goes that long between every time we meet each other, and somehow we always do manage to fit in our conversations. I don't really know why, but it always seems like Marble and I have really opinionated conversations and they tend to be both deep and shallow. They're really interesting. But yes, the point is that even if you do see another person occasionally, it doesn't necessarily mean you get to spend one on one time with that person. And that's really important. I got home at 4:00 pm, and got some grub in my stomach before I ventured on to Oyster. A few weeks ago she asked for some pictures, and since I've been so busy with school work, I forgot about it until she reminded me yesterday. So that was on my agenda today. The bus was outside her house at approx 6:00 pm, and I went home at 9:50 pm. So that's nearly four hours for "delivering pictures". But yes, we had a really good chat, and it wasn't until later on the bus home that I remembered my horoscope for today: "You could be so blunt with your opinions today that you accidentally hurt someone's feelings". So Oyster, if this was correct, I am deeply sorry. But hey, we really did have a great chat about everything. Among the things we chatted about, nutrition was one of them. Since Oyster is studying to become a clinical dietitian, she's always got these great tips about what to eat and not. And it's really useful, both for myself personally, and myself as a future nurse. There's a few subjects in school that I've always thought should have been mandatory for everyone. Nutrition is another subject that should get more attention. This way we would prevent, rather than constantly repairing. Hah, it's really great that I'm writing about being healthy and stuff, when I've got a picture of macaroons, and saying that I ate loads of them last night. Oh well, I never did say that you shouldn't enjoy life (to an extent, as you do with everything). Just saw a few candids of Niall Horan, and pouted thinking "blimey, he's so pretty". These thoughts are like sort of almost subconscious actually, so I caught myself in thinking it, and I just really had a proper laugh at myself. Anyway, I've not got school tomorrow, so I think I'm going to spend tomorrow to properly relax. And do a bit of errands that I've been postponing. Hopefully I'll have a good nights sleep tonight. Hopefully everyone will have a good nights sleep. Think about that, not everyone gets to sleep in a bed tonight. Those of us who are able to do that should count ourselves lucky. 

they were kids that I once knew

The moon was really bright last night. Full moon. Almost thought there was another football match, seeing as we can always spot the lights at the stadium from our house. But I realised that there couldn't be an ongoing match at midnight. The weather is properly autumnal today, leaves falling to the ground like it was rain, and the thermometer showing degrees below zero. I'm currently trying to enjoy some bits of chocolate with tea (chocolate is always best with tea in my opinion), but it appears that chocolate doesn't go well with my stomach today. I should be jumping in the shower now (not literally), actually, I should have done that hours ago. But I'm always lazy when it comes to showers on the weekends. My plans for today include hanging with Marble, if not more people. You know what? On Thursday they put out more tickets for the John Mayer show. I was a bit (very much) peeved at that, because Gabrielle! But to be fair, I wouldn't have been able to attend anyway. I had the late shift at "praksis", and I would actually chose "praksis" over the concert. But still, I would really like to listen to the angelic voice of Gabrielle Aplin in real life. I was listening to Take Care (the album) by Drake last night, and I felt a bit somber over how much I love the album, whereas I'm not so keen on the new album. That's the thing though, whenever it's been a long time between the making of albums, artists tend to move towards new sounds. Like Justin Bieber actually-- I was not expecting this kind of sound from him. I was expecting more beat and like more mainstream, the songs you listen to on the radio. But his new sound is really chill, and surprisingly right up my street. My point is that I'm always a bit scared whenever my favorite artists makes new albums because I'm afraid it'll be disappointing to me. Especially if I loved their previous album(s). I don't know if you've realised, but it's two months until Christmas. Which means yikes, I've got to start on Christmas shopping. I'm usually really early with them, but it's been forgotten this year, I guess. There are several songs I just can't stop myself from grinning whenever I listen to them. Yesterday I was gladly surprised to hear Come On Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners in a playlist on 8tracks, and it made me laugh. Because I really do love that song, and it makes me think of both The Perks of Being A Wallflower and weirdly, Nick Grimshaw's mum. Alright, I actually have to get in the shower now. Have a nice Saturday, and enjoy it. Do something that makes you happy, and whenever you feel happy, stop to think about it. The more you acknowledge the fact that you're happy, the happier you will become. It's true. We go on in life with it's ups and downs, and mostly we only remember the downs, which makes us think that life sucks quite a bit. We forget about the good moments, because we don't necessarily stop to think of them, don't really count them. And within that lies the problem. So yes, remember to acknowledge the happy moments and count your blessings. 

on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home, but I know it's too late, I should have given you a reason to stay

It’s best like this, at 2:00 am, after you've washed away the dried tear stains on your cheeks. And the house is quiet, and you’re in a weird state of mind where the bridge between sadness and happiness is barely existent. And you listen to that song whilst staring out the window where the moon is so luminous among the stars. It’s like everything feels right, like your chest doesn't feel that constricted anymore, like all worries are nonexistent. Just for those four minutes the song is playing. Yeah, it’s best like this at 2:00 am. 

our love was made for movie screens

Oh my goodness, I've just been looking through old pictures of the last year, and it's made me a bit emotional. A year passes by so quickly, so it's always nice to have my pictures to look through. It's a bit like a summary of my life, isn't it? I'm soon off to my last day in "praksis", and I am both excited and sad at the same time. I went to bed at 10:30 pm last night, because I could feel myself dozing off at 9:00 pm! But that was a bit too early for my liking. Though it was an early night, I found myself waking up several times during the night. At 2:30 am I thought for sure that it was already 6:00 am. Oh well. I think I'm going to spend the weekend with friends. If someone will actually want to spend time with me, that is. If you're a friend of mine, could you please tell me if you'd like that? Ta! It was a bit funny yesterday when J.D. went to go home, seeing as he quit earlier than me. And he was like "well, I'm not going to be here tomorrow, because I've got my real job, so I'm going to be here on Friday instead. I guess this will be the last time we'll be together here then..". And I had to stifle my laugh, because: "Erm, J.D. are you trying to say goodbye? You do know we're in the same class and we'll see each other on Tuesday? In fact we'll probably have to see each other for the rest of the school year". He just sounded so dramatic and it was kind of hilarious, but also a bit endearing, because we've both loved being at the "praksis", if not him more than me. Oh dear, I've gotten a bit lost now. It’s like I've forgotten how to write, how to put words together like a puzzle. I read back on older writings and I think was that me? I don’t know how to do things anymore. It’s like they've been erased from my mind. Like my creator decided to give me a lobotomy, and changed everything within my brain. 

we're all just searching for something bigger than we're all able to find

Did you know that our moon is a natural satellite, which is a celestial body that orbits another body. For example a planet. "Europe" is known as a continent, but it's also the name of another natural satellite for the planet Jupiter. And Jupiter has loads of natural satellites, like Io, which is so gorgeous. Or Callisto, also a natural satellite for Jupiter-- it's lovely looking. The universe is so big (meaning bigger than you can ever imagine, and it's expanding every millisecond), and there's so many things that are unknown to us. And every thing we do know today, might even be incorrect. Because there is the chance that we might have just discovered a tiny truth within the whole truth. It's both exiting and terrifying. I've been reading much too many fan fictions about the universe, cosmos, galaxies, planets, and more. So now I've been reading astronomy and whatnot, which was the sole reason for my trip to the library yesterday. "Even if you find it difficult to let go of your fear of being judged, this is a great opportunity to stretch outside of your comfort zone. Nothing ventured, nothing gained". This is a piece of my horoscope for today, and it's still frighteningly accurate. I asked the boss at my "praksis" about the possibilities of a future job, and well, it went well. She basically told me that once I've got my driver licence, I just have to give her a call, and I'll have a job. I felt like I took a big step into adulthood, though what I did was really just a minor thing that people do every day. Nevertheless, it felt like stepping into adulthood, to actually pursue the things I want. Is that odd? There's so many things that I've wanted throughout my two decades on this earth (well, actually, who knows how long I've existed? Because the human body mass is essentially elements from the periodic table, and every element in the periodic table, aside from hydrogen, is essentially star dust. Ergo, we are all made of stardust), and I can't really remember pursuing them. And I found myself thinking: oh, when I've got a licence, a job and eventually an apartment-- what will I do next? What will the next goals be? Christ, I've been here for two decades, if not more, and it feels like I've just been born. Like someone kicked me out of the womb for the universe to devour. Well, this is getting far too serious and philosophical for my enjoyment. Next Friday I'm off to Aalesund to celebrate my nephew becoming two years old. Might meet some new babies too, as there seems to be new babies all the time in my little home town. Or, well, maybe home island is more proper? And I can't wait to have him in my arms. You'd think I've got babies on my mind, which, I guess I sort of do. I've actually got no plans for the rest of the day. Like, there's not a thing I have to do, and it's so lovely. Well, except the birthday card I'm making for my nurse supervisor. Yep, that's how fond I am of her. In other news, I think I might have developed a girl crush on Harry Styles' sister. It's just that she's so smart and sassy, and just impressive in general. Does that even count as a girl crush, or is that just called "an idol"? Yeah, probably the latter. Imagine me walking up to Harry Styles , asking him to ask his sister to follow me on Twitter. That would be a laugh. I had the weirdest dream last night. And I've had it before-- it's like I'm on a task to walk to some place in order to take pictures (of course my dreams include photography), and last time I had this dream I walked past a property which had a little panda toy hanging in the tree as well as other panda toys in the windows. This time, however, I decided to walk inside the house rather than passing it. Just in order to take pictures of all the various panda ornaments, and lastly the panda toy hanging on the tree in the garden. That's when the owner of the property came running outside with a folded newspaper, yelling "get off my property". I-- that dream definitely places in my top 10 weirdest dreams. Oh well, have a nice Wednesday evening. 

my love is yours but your love's not mine

Hi pals! I'm so glad today is over, though it means it's another day I won't get back. I've started feeling a bit gloomy because these are the last days of "praksis". I had a little look at my next school assignments, and of course there's a group project. And I can already imagine how annoying that will be. But you know, I'm trying to not think about that, and just enjoy that my final assessment went good, plus the presentation went smoothly, and it ended like we wanted- it started a discussion. J.D. told me afterwards that my teacher had been boasting about me in his final assessment. And I was like "what the hell? why did she do that in your final assessment??". He shrugged, and well, I guess this will improve my chances to become a teachers pet. My nurse supervisor has worked at the "praksis" place for one year today, so we celebrated her anniversary with some ice cream. I reckon we'll be eating ice cream the next few days. It's going to be a hard goodbye, seeing as this time I've actually gotten really attached to my coworkers rather than any patients. If you'd see me right now, you'd see me sulking with a pout. And it's weird, because though J.D. and I have been on the same place these last two months, we've barely even spent time together. That's what you get when we've got completely different schedules. But it's probably good, seeing as 60% of the time we're on completely different wavelengths. We tend to speak about completely different things with each other, which leaves me staggering: "erm, what the hell are you on about?", or a more polite version: "I'm sorry, but I've no idea what you're on about". Anyway, after "praksis" today, I had nothing on my agenda rather than reading a few papers that are relevant to my "praksis". I went to the library and then what was supposed to be a short trip to the mall. Instead I found myself sniffing soap in Lush for 30 minutes probably. But good news, I've finally gotten to wear my coat outside. I only felt a bit posh. I hope it's just myself thinking that I radiate "I'm posh and better than you" vibes, rather than actually doing it. I've been invited to an "yay we've finished "praksis" party", but I've actually got the late shift at Thursday, so unless they're going out at 01:00 am, I can't possibly make it. Also, a coworker at my "praksis" is hosting a party on Saturday, and well, I really do like my coworkers and all, but I'm 20. And I'm not sure if I'd feel all comfortable getting woozy with my coworkers and jeez, the boss as well. Even if the boss is hilarious and possibly my favorite person too. Oh dear, you should all read this One Direction interview. It's the epitome of One Direction, and it's actually really similar to a fan fiction. Like, if I didn't know it was printed in an actual magazine, I'd believe it was a fan fiction. Alright, I ought to do some exercising now, and then I'm going to enjoy a nice shower. 

rhythm is a dancer, it's a souls companion, people feel it everywhere

I heard this song last night in search for something new, and my initial reaction was "okay, that's interesting". And then I listened to it again, and again, and again. I listened to it before bed, and on repeat this morning whilst getting ready for "praksis". I can just imagine dancing to it on the dance floor-- the vibrations coursing through your body from all the bass. Ah lovely. I might be slightly biased, as I love Bastille anyway. I want to buy it on iTunes, but it's not out just yet, so patience it is. "Praksis" today was as per usual not horrible. I just really want to be finished, because I'm just sick of it by now. Eight weeks, or two months. That's actually quite a bit of time. I didn't have my presentation today, which was good, because I spent more time than what I'd estimated on writing my log yesterday. Which means I didn't really have that much time to go through my presentation. But mainly it was because J.D. had forgotten about it. Haha, you should have seen his face drain when I said "oh, yeah, we're having the presentation today. In fact now, in front of everyone". And I was actually serious, but I realised he'd forgotten about it, so I told him that we could do it tomorrow instead. I've only got three days left, and it feels like such a relief. Mostly I just have to get through tomorrow, and then everything else doesn't really matter to me. Then it's onto another chapter of life. I literally open my closet to look at my coat once a day. That's how pathetically much I love it. I'm going to read some fan fiction now and relax. And then I need to get ready for my presentation and my final assessment tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be a bit (loads) more productive today so I can go to bed early. Only had five and a half hours of sleep last night, and it's not nearly enough. I can feel my eyes drooping. Ah, can't wait for the weekend. I'll actually get to sleep without anything to worry about (except life and all those things). I hate my horoscope. It's been so accurate these days, it's a bit scary. Alright, have a nice Monday, enjoy life and everything. Count your blessings! 

Wake up to the sound of your fleeting heart. When you go, what you leave is a work of art on my chest

So, I went on a shopping spree yesterday. And I was wrong about the timing of my last purchase of an clothing item. My last purchase of an clothing item was back in August when I bought the dress for my sisters wedding, but it's not here. Which is why I didn't remember it. But I don't think that counts really, since I've not even got it here, and I'm not going to wear it until Easter next year. Yesterday my goal was to buy myself a pair of new black jeans and a coat. I'd not realised that all the trains were cancelled yesterday, so I spent a lot of time queuing for the bus. I hope no one lost their planes and whatnot. Apart from that, I wasn't too bothered like the people waiting in line behind me. Honestly, I just really hate it when people complain about things that are inevitable and unchangeable. It's like "god, it's already happened, and your sulking and moaning won't change that". I almost wanted to slap her. Anyway, after trudging up Karl Johans gate-- I don't understand how I managed to convince myself that there wouldn't be many people out at lunchtime on a Saturday, I found the first thing on my shopping list-- my jeans. They're Cheap Monday jeans as per usual. It's not that Cheap Monday jeans are better than everything else, but it's the jeans I've been buying for years now, and they've all lasted me so greatly. Plus they fit me, which has always been a problem for me. Out of the six pair of jeans hanging in my closet, it's only one that's not Cheap Monday. And I have an itching feeling that it'll rip soon. I think that's the thing about the years between 16 and 20. You forget that you're still growing, because it happens so slowly, it goes unnoticed, until you find that your old favorite jeans don't fit anymore. I also bought myself a new tote bag, because the last time I bought one for myself was ages ago, and I use them like no other. I was searching for a coat everywhere whilst walking up Karl Johans Gate in Oslo, but I couldn't find one. And I almost gave up, but I've been wanting one for so long. And I've not given in and bought something I really want for ages, so I went ahead to Bogstadveien. And when walking up Bogstadveien, there must have been some kind of event going on, because the streets were filled with stalls, and the traffic must have been a bitch. I'm not so very fond of big crowds of people, believe it or not. I'm not claustrophobic (unless I'm trapped inside something and gasping for air, cue montage of Ryan Reynolds in Buried), but I just prefer walking around when there are less people in the streets, which is probably why I appreciate Oslo most at nights. Anyway, the street was filled to the brink with posh people. It's like they've all got a certain uniform-- quilted jackets, which I honestly think is really pretty. But they also combine with a pair of jeans and Uggs. Even like the 10-year olds. And it makes me cringe a bit. But you know, each to their taste. Anyway, back to my hunt: I went through Monki, Weekday, Zara, Bik Bok-- and none of them had the coat I was looking for. I did initially want a black coat from Bik Bok, but it was sold out everywhere. So when I got to H&M in Bogstadveien, I had given up. And I just wanted to buy something to console myself. The nice things about the H&M in Bogstadveien is that it's three floors, and they've got a really great selection plus a floor for home ware. So I found this coat from H&M, which I would probably never had tried on if I wasn't this desperate. It's just that whenever I see a collar like that, I usually think N.O. But I tried it on, and I fell in love, and it was just everything I wanted. It does look a bit posh on, I've figured. But not in the sense of where I feel like cringing. It's nice, how it clashes a bit with my more casual style. The lining is just so very simple and sleek, and the length suits me. That's the thing, most coats tends to be a bit on the longer side, which looks nice on tall people. But on me, they usually look drenching. It's a wool blend, and it's got big pockets. I'm just really in love with it. Also, I think I'm gravitating towards black. I don't think I usually wear black things that often, but I'm really liking it. Feel like only wearing black, but I guess that's not going to last very long. I get sick of things very quickly. Like the length of my hair. I sort of want to cut it short, but I'm supposed to save it for the wedding of my sister. Apart from this, I've honestly not felt so good about myself in ages. Like I've not had time to take care of myself. And it's true-- I keep tending to schoolwork, friends, and everything else. So when I had a proper pampering session on Friday, and Saturday for myself to shop, it felt so nice. Just thinking of myself and not having to think of everything I'm supposed to do. I did end up buying a bit more bits and bobs, including a toy for my nephew's birthday. At that time I'd gotten back from Oslo, and I was at the mall where I live. And maybe I shouldn't have been surprised, but I bumped into Marble, who, not surprisingly was shopping. I somewhat helped her decide between a knit jumper (meaning I was no help at all). When parting our ways-- she to the car with her awaiting parents, me to the grocery store to stock up on some tea-- we agreed that we should go out for Halloween this year, since we're all of age now. Wow, this blogpost has become really long. And if you've read this far, then congratulations to you. I'm genuinely impressed! I woke up at 8:00 am today, completely by myself. I was wide awake, and I knew it was because I was hungry, because I'd gone to bed hungry last night. It's just that at 1:00 am, it's not the best idea to go for a meal. So when I finally did get some food to fill my belly, my eyes started drooping again. And that should be a testimony for Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Friday night I realised that I still had to write a log, but I ignored it, and figured I'd do it today. And now here we are, I've been up for six hours already, and I've not written it yet. Just been procrastinating, and having discussions on Tumblr and being sassy. Goodness gracious, did I even ever rant about the pictures of Liam Payne nearly having his wang out? Whenever Payno has a clean shave, and he's smiling with these crinkles in his eyes, he looks like a proper golden retriever. Like the most precious boy ever. But yeah, the other day his boxers were stolen right off his balcony, and this girl(s) even tried breaking in, and so Liam had to yell for his security, and he was apparently too preoccupied with getting outside and see what was going on, instead of properly pull up his joggers that he'd slipped on. So now there's pictures of him shirtless with his joggers hanging low on his hips. It's quite revealing and I gaped when I saw the pictures. And then proceeded to ogle for a good 10 minutes. If you want to see, then here it is. Anyway, I just really want this week to go quickly. I know you're supposed to enjoy life and all, but I'm just so sick of "praksis" right now. At least this has made me look forward to school. Oh alright, I should probably start writing now. Have a nice Sunday. Enjoy the autumnal weather. It's really nice her, all sunny and somewhat warm. Who knows, the snow might surprise us early this year. 

Please don't say you love me, cause I might not say it back. Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that

Seal goes ow, ow, ow. Sorry, couldn't resist. If you think about it, a seal looks almost a bit extraterrestrial. Especially Hawaiian monk seals. They're both terrifying and precious. And sadly endangered, due to stupid humans of course. It's odd to think that the animals that are alive today, might be extinct when I'm dead. Anyway, I realised I could easily change the front and back of my school planner, so I put my animal cards from Ikea in them. Just because it looks precious like this. Also makes me feel a bit like Beatrix Potter. I'm just contemplating whether I'm going to buy concert tickets, which I don't really need, but would probably make me a bit happy. It's always nice to write thoughts down, because it forces me to contemplate. Like right now, just as I wrote that sentence, I realised my decision. My sister came to reveal all her plans for today when I was trying to nap for a bit, and she said that Bastille were coming in November and told me that tickets were cheap. Course I went online to search for tickets, only to realise they were sold out as well. I'm still mourning over John Mayer tickets, and it's not even John Mayer himself that I'm most upset about. It's Gabrielle Aplin who's opening for him. I'll just hope that she's coming for next year. And if Ed Sheeran decides to come on over too, then that'll be grand! I'm attending the Kodaline concert in December, so that will be great. Oh goodness, the official Twitter account for One Direction is currently revealing the tracklist for the album. Do you understand what I mean about how one 1D year equals four human years? In the last 24 hours we've gotten the name of a new single, single artwork, album cover, and now the tracklist as well. They also shot a new music video not very long ago (maybe a week?), so that will be expected as well. Anyway, I er, actually skipped "praksis" today. For legitimate reasons though, I had to finish the paper as it was due at 2:00 pm today. And I figured I wouldn't get J.D.'s part until today anyway, since he had the late shift at "praksis" yesterday. But I really don't like lying. Like, ahh, but at least I managed to run my hand in the wall when I was running downstairs. Made me curse the wall for a bit. Maybe that was my bad karma? But now it's all done, and we managed to finish the paper in time. So, high fives to everyone. I can't wait for tomorrow. I'm going to eat chocolate, and probably go shopping. Just because I've not bought an item of clothing in ages. Seriously though, according to my calculations and my blog, I've not bought an item of clothing since July 15th. Holy shit, that's a bloody long time. Last time I bought a new pair of jeans were 13 months ago. But I suppose this is a really good thing, I'm like, not throwing all of my money away on clothing. Just like, concert tickets, food, chocolate, and One Direction. Today I'm going to spend pampering myself. Just because I've not slept for over 7 hours, more life 5-6 hours each night this week. Also, I've been dying to remove my nail varnish on my feet. I could really do with some cake right now. I don't even really like cake that much. Wow, what is wrong with me?? Have a nice Friday and enjoy life! 

sink or swim, hold your breath and just dive right in

Just braced the cold in order to take some autumny pictures for this blog. I swear, it's so bloody cold, even my great immune system might have a breakdown soon. My body is actually fine with it being just cold, but when it's cold and raining from every angle due to the harsh wind-- well, there's a reason I can't ever see myself moving back to Aalesund for good. Which, is a bit ironic, seeing as I'm going back there in two weeks. Anyway, the pictures turned out to be shit, and I came inside feeling cold, and I have an itching feeling that I'll be developing a cough soon. I'm going to get myself a cup of hot tea, and then it'll be fine. There are basically solutions to all problems. It's just that sometimes you're stubborn, and you don't want to see the solutions, because you like to sulk. Though "praksis" has been a blast, and all the people I've meet have been really nice (got a hug and another nice speech today, also got offered food and something to drink) during these last seven weeks, I'm really happy that next week will be the last. Erm, I'm just watching the music video to Vegas Girl by Conor Maynard, and without turning on captions, there were suddenly Japanese captions. Do you think my computer knows I'm Asian? That'd be proper cool. This makes me want to try out Siri again. Oh my god, I really shouldn't give Siri more chances. This time she decided to call up an oooooold childhood friend who I've not spoken to in about five years. Blimey. Oh god, I hope it didn't actually ring long enough to leave a number? Why do I set myself in these awkward situations? I'm supposed to be writing on my paper right now, but it's so tempting to do everything else. However, it's due tomorrow, so I have to finish my part tonight. Hopefully J.D. has actually finished his part, and then it'll all just be grand. I just have to keep reminding myself that it'll all be over in a week, and then this will only be a faint memory in the back of my mind. Oh, the coughing has started-- need to get my cuppa now. Before I go, I must have a little rant about the new One Direction single name. After BEST SONG EVER, did they really have to go with STORY OF MY LIFE???? Like, I don't know if they purposely come up with the most stupid names ever, or just really think the titles are great? And what about the cover art? Hazza casually sqatting on the road, Payno posing like a male underwear model (yes please do it Li), and the rest of the lads looking rather confused? And you know, it wouldn't hurt looking in the camera. Apart from all of this, they all look stupidly great and I just want a One Direction cuddle. Oh my god, it's out in eight days? I swear, they'll have to learn how to do proper promo and like, make us wait for things. But then again, everything in 1D-land moves so quickly. 1 human year equals 4 1D years. Probably. Again, I'm a bit worried about how I'll find this album, and if I actually think it's shit, and that I've wasted money to watch them live next year. Nah, it's probably not wasted money unless 1D decides to do an abrupt change in their style and become vile. Oh alright now, I'll see you tomorrow.

I left my girl back home, I don't love her no more and she'll never fucking know that

Hellooooooo. I hate days like these when I'm soooo unproductive. Admittedly, I only slept five hours last night, and the last few nights aren't anything worth boasting about either. It's for a reason though, I've been cramming as much school work as possible within the past days. I managed to be really effective when I needed it the most, and though I don't especially like being stressed like that, it was a nice trial in relation to my upcoming exam. It's not done just yet, still have to write-- well, try to finish writing my second paper, which should be done within Friday. But that's nothing compared to the first paper. I had one of those days where I spend half my day in "praksis" and the other half at school. It was rather stressing, seeing as I had very little time to get my arse in to school. And of course I managed to walk the wrong way from the train platform??? I've literally not done that in years. I was just too busy walking, rather than looking at the signs, so yeah, but at least I had another scenery, and I walked through a lovely park. So yes, positive aspects with everything. But it did make me five minutes late, which forced me to try discreetly eating my lunch. But it was fine anyway, and we had rather nice discussions. And as per usual, some of us waggle our eyebrows at each other and try to stifle our giggles. And who knows if we're even thinking about the same things. I was invited to a secret Facebook group by one of the people in this little study group we are obligated to meet up in. And I didn't recognize the other users in the group, and there's literally only ten people, so I was really confused. Nor did it have a description, and the first comment that I saw was "It's alright with 1600 words? +- 20%". And it didn't make any sense to me. So basically I thought it was some kind of big mistake that I'd been invited and that they had some kind of odd writing club?? After scrolling down a bit, I did eventually realise that the other users were also my classmates, and that this was a secret group for the people in our "praksis" group. I have moments when I'm smart, but I also have loads of moments where I'm really stupid. Speaking of, we had to present one of our previous logs-- as in when you write about an experience-- and I explained mine. And it was like eerily silent after that, before my teacher cut the silence with "err, yes, that's right". And I was thinking "oh bloody hell I've made a fool out of myself, and no one understood what I was speaking about, not even my teacher". But I got J.D.'s version of it later when we were discussing out paper later in the cafeteria. And he said that during the silence after my explanation of my log, he really wanted to do one of those slow clapping moments, and oh god, I literally cackled, because of course J.D. would have that idea. It's always funny speaking with J.D., because he's got the weirdest imagination ever. Also, back to the school meeting-- never before today have I ever seen a student sipping liquor hidden inside a plastic back. It might just be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Not to mention the most screwed up thing too. I keep forgetting not to take the train when it's rush hour, and I don't realise until I've walked to the platform and there's literally milling around with people. Sugar says she hates the bus, but I feel the same against trains during rush hour. Bahh, and whilst standing in a little closed off corner in the train, I realised that this would again be my life when "praksis" is over. When I got home I was surprised to see a new front door. Goodness gracious, things change in this house constantly. Alright, I have to go eat now, then do a bit of exercising and then I'm going to have a nice shower. I'd hope to go to bed early tonight, but I have a feeling I won't. 

Bring your love baby, I can bring my shame. Bring the drugs baby, I can bring my pain. I got my heart right here, I got my scars right here

Hiya, I'm currently procrastinating, so I figured I'd write something. I started crying just now, just like, out of nowhere, and I thought I'd gone mental. Turns out I'd just gotten a bit of my makeup remover in my eyes, and my eyes were just getting rid of it through tears. I was dead tired when I woke up at 6:00 am today. Felt like I'd barely slept for ten minutes before I had to go in to "praksis" again. That's the worst thing about having an early shift right after a late shift-- it really does feel like you've been working for 24 hours. But goodness, there are so many precious old people. And they're so nice. Like, I got the most nice speech from this old man that hoped that life would treat me good and that I'd find a man that would treat me properly and be thankful for me. I also got to accompany my nurse supervisor at a visit where we probably stayed for an hour. And we had a really emotional conversation with this lady, and I should tell you that "emotional" and "tired" doesn't go well together. There was a point where I thought I'd cry, but luckily I didn't. I've got the day off tomorrow, which, to be honest it's not really "a day off". I'm probably going to be dragging my hair out in frustration. I can tell now that I'll regret spending the time I've spent on writing this little blogpost instead of school work. I know I'll manage, it's just the way to managing. I was just sipping my tea and looking at the tree outside my window a few hours ago, and I decided to take a picture. Yellow leaves and tea-- really screams autumn. I've literally been watching the tree progress from bright green to this yellow. Oh, I made a playlist yesterday called "sedated", and if you like Drake and The Weeknd, you'll probably like it (always a link, innit?). Bahh, I'm really knackered, so I might just go to bed early. Oh, I almost forgot-- due to my tiredness on Friday, I forgot to write about the Where We Are tour tickets. After a long, long time of discussing about tickets over Facebook and the phone, the kilo-gang are set to travel to Sweden next year. I can't bloody believe it, and it'll probably take me awhile before I get excited. You know, just because you've got the tickets, it doesn't actually mean it's going to happen. I sound like a spoil sport, but I'm just saying what I'm always saying-- life doesn't always go the way you've planned. But yes, once it's 2014, I might get a bit more excited. Well, once the new album comes in November maybe-- if I like the new album, that is. To be fair, I know more about the upcoming music of Justin Bieber than One Direction due to my belieber friend's Twitter. And who knows, I might actually really dislike the new music of One Direction. Alright I need to go to bed, because I might start crying because of how knackered I am. 

though it don't show, I've got a hole where nothing grows

I'm so knackered, from my mind to my bones. And had I not have some self control, I would have been asleep hours ago. It feels like I'm pulling an all-nighter, when in reality this is when I usually go to bed these days. I suppose it's just the autumn progressing-- the leafs turning yellow and falling to the ground, the mornings becoming darker, and the weather turning dull. Also, it's the "praksis" that wears me down, not to mention the stress with my papers, one of which I'm working at now. I was planning on staying up to midnight just to do some schoolwork, but I actually think I'm just going to bed now and wake up early tomorrow instead. I have the late shift at my "praksis" tomorrow, which will leave me some time before I have to go to my "praksis". I have to be really effective the next couple of days, which is why I might be a bit absent from this blog. Anyway, my brother was suddenly here yesterday. I heard some commotion downstairs in the hall, and I knew my mum was in the kitchen, and that my sister had gone to the mall. So, either it would be the person that fixes our windows, or it would be our brother. My guess was our brother, and of course it was. He had apparently been on a job interview, and he only stopped by to collect his headphones that he left on Monday. My mum was very sweet yesterday, as she ran upstairs to alert me about The Ward on the telly. I told her I had to go shower, and she was disappointed because she had ran upstairs in a hurry only to get me. I told her I pre-record the episodes anyway, so it's fine. I only watch television when I'm eating, or when I'm waiting for food. The other week I was watching The Ward whilst eating, and I mused loudly to myself "is it weird that I enjoy watching people giving birth whilst I'm eating?". My sister stopped by the door frame, solemnly telling me that yes, it is most definitely weird. Alright, now that I've established that I'm weird, I really have to go to bed. 

my heart wants to come home

When I was younger, my biggest wish was to grow up. Because according to my brain back then, everything would be better. When I was sixteen, I had the biggest dream to move to L.A. It was in my dreams every night for months upon months. I wanted to go to L.A. because it’s the place where dreams come true. And now I'm twenty, and I want to travel everywhere because I want to see everything. I want to experience life. It’s always been like this, always been about something bigger—something in the future. What if I travel to all the places I’ve ever wanted to go, only to realize that it’s not what I’ve been searching for all this time? What if I never find whatever I’m searching for? 

we argue too much, we made a mess of what used to be love

Either there are kids in my house at this moment, or my mum must have really changed her voice. If you didn't already realise due to the pictures, I've just gotten the new One Direction book. And of course I sat down to read it. And once you start, it's not like you're going to stop either. I wish I would read books in my curriculum at the same speed. Admittedly there's a lot less text in the One Direction books. I went ahead and bought a new moisturizer too, because I'm soon out of my other one. I have high hopes to find a great moisturizer, and something to replace Bioderma. I watched a beauty video on Youtube yesterday, and I saw a bottle of Bioderma in the background, and that made me sad. I can't even make myself toss my empty bottle just because I'm that pathetic. I didn't fall asleep until 2:00 am yesterday (today?), because once again I was reading a fan fiction, and it reminded me so much of The Perks of Being A Wallflower, so I couldn't resist finishing it. I'm a bit worried about finishing my paper seeing as I'm so good at procrastinating rather than doing actual work. And then there's the fact that my teacher isn't exactly great at guidance. Also, I only slept about six hours, because I was adamant at waking up at 8:00 am. So now I feel a bit like dozing off, and bahhh tomorrow is my last day off before I'll have to be back at "praksis" again. And I've just realised how stressed I'll be these last three weeks because of the two papers I have. Although I've loved being at this "praksis", I also cannot wait to go back to school and have more freedom. And just having lectures. That's the one thing I miss the most when I'm off to whatever "praksis" I've been placed at. Oh god, just glanced over at my schedule and realised that it's bloody OCTOBER. That's like almost winter. I'm currently listening to Versace by Migos feat Drake and a whole other people. I only listen to it because when they begin singing "versace, versace, versace" over and over again, it really cracks me up. I just can't stop laughing because it sounds hilarious. Alright-- I'm going to actually write on my paper now. Get my head in the game (cue: music from High School Musical).