They don’t know what we do best. That’s between me and you, our little secret

According to Darren, my belieber friend has only hung up two Christmas decorations. Thought that was vital news. Especially since my jaw almost fell off when I got a snap of my blog from Darren. Then proceeded to laugh my ass off because the ridiculousness of all the nicknames I've made up. And just my blog in general. I was actually just telling Monchita about how I've made up names for everyone and stuff, and she was like "oh, yeah, I know. Oyster told me". I just, that's a bit weird, isn't it? I've always said so, and I probably always will: I always find it odd that people actually read my blog. It's a bit of a waste of time, innit? This day a week ago, I had my first proper hangover. Because I'm slightly odd and have a slight hipster-tendency (though I won't admit it out loud), I didn't go back to sleep it off. Nope, I was up at 9:00 am, listened to music for an hour or so, had a shower, and then decided I couldn't stay in the flat for one more second. Because a pounding head is actually a thing. Who would have thought so? Everyone who drinks and gets hang overs on a regular basis, I guess. Anyway, I went to the grocery store (looking quite awful to be honest) in order to buy painkillers for poor Ale (bless her). I've actually never seen her that hung over. I'm pretty sure it was obvious to the cashier that I'd been drinking the night before. Popped back to the flat, and then I went out again. This time I decided I wanted to sit by the water-- except there was this big fence that hindered my wish. Also, it was "military day", which means the pier was filled with military boats and loads of people. I'm sure I was a sight with my unruly hair, pink jumper and camera. I ended up walking to the mall, and it wasn't until it was about 1:30 pm, I realised that I maybe should have been feeling hungry. After all, I hadn't eaten any breakfast. And that's when I returned to Ale's flat. I'm currently listening to Take Me Home, because I'm feeling weirdly nostalgic, though listening to the album just makes me feel like the album just came out. The album makes me so happy, though. I've got so many memories with it, and bah. If there were emoticons on here, it would be able to explain my emotions a bit better than my words. Speaking of the album-- I have this poster of the Take Me Home album cover on the back of my bedroom door, and the other day I was just looking at it and thinking "where the hell did I get that from?". Because it's not like I have a poster from Up All Night or Midnight Memories. Each time David is here, he likes looking at it. Volla has also commented on it. I guess I'll keep it here forever to find it when I come home to my "childhood home". That is, if I ever decide to leave this house. I told Monchita about this when we were eating, and half of the time, she doesn't really care about what I'm saying to her, so she just shrugged. "Maybe Mars gave it to you". I'm pretty sure that's not right, although most of my posters derives from her. Oh, I did end up watching Elf. And it's so hilarious. I remember myself cackling the first time I watched it, and this time was no exception. This is my thirtieth post this month. At the start of the month, I thought I'd be blogging loads. And to be fair, considering the days I've been gone from this blog, it's quite a lot. Tomorrow is a new day, and also not November. So goodbye November, you have been both nice and not so nice to me. But that's life. 

put your troubles out of sight and just have yourself a merry little Christmas

It's already starting to turn darker outside, and I've found that the one positive thing about that is that I keep thinking it's really late. And then I end up having "extra hours", which is untrue, but feels like it. My paper is looking good, and I just have to do the finishing edits, and I'm all good to go. When I woke up today, it felt a bit odd lying in my bed doing nothing. It's like it's become unfamiliar to me to just lie around in bed. But it's so nice. I was planning on going to bed at 11:00 pm last night because I was so bloody tired, but I ended up sitting up till' 1:00 am instead. Was doing some creative writing, which I've not done in quite awhile, so that was nice. I sent messages to Lynx, Volla and Lumba yesterday, asking them about their Christmas wishes. And to my surprise, it was Lumba who answered first. He never does. Plus, my sisters haven't even answered the text. Bloody hell, the world is changing, innit? I think I'm going to spend the next weekend Christmas shopping. Or maybe just next week. I've not been at the mall in ages, so it'll be nice to see the Christmas decorations. One of my neighbours started their Christmas decorations two weeks ago, which I found a tad bit early, but hey. I'm not going to complain about Christmas decorations. Ours are probably not going up until tomorrow. According to a snap I got from Darren, my belieber friend is decorating today (it's very important to keep up to date to what all my friends are up to, ha). It's really starting to feel a lot like Christmas, and I've been listening to Buble's Christmas album for the whole morning. And I've been watching cross country skiing (yayyyyyyyy). I'm excited to see how all the Norwegians will do this year. Sadly Monchita forgot to buy my favourite chocolate when she was at the grocery store today, but we do have some chocolate (or, actually, quite a lot), so it'll be fine. But yes, everything is feeling very Christmas-ish, and I'm really excited. I might actually watch Elf tonight whilst plotting Christmas present ideas. Also, I'm contemplating whether I should make Christmas cards this year too. For now though, I'm going to finish my paper (and eat chocolate with tea). 

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know

Just finished watching 1D day (couldn't help myself), and they ended the live stream with a live duet with Michael Buble who was all the way over in Las Vegas. And they sang White Christmas, and it was so nice. Now I'm all cheery, and listening to Buble's Christmas album. Why am I always listening to the wrong music? I need to be listening to Kodaline now. Oh well, doesn't hurt getting into the Christmas spirit. Also, Kiwi has informed me that it's snowing outside. My curtains been shut, but yes, it has snowed. Yes! This is great news, and oh goodness, I'm going to start watching jolly movies now. Cause I've not got time after my exam (because it'll already be Christmas by then). Isn't this a nice picture? We decided to see Bergen city from Fløyen, and it was so nice and white because of the snow that had fallen during the night. And yes, right, the 1D day was hilarious. And we got "lilac Niall". It's been a "thing" on Tumblr for the past weeks, so I found it very amusing that he actually went purple. And hey, I'm always trying to get Kiwi to colour her hair purple, so I'm all thumbs up. I thoroughly freaked myself out a few hours ago. I was just thinking about how tired I have been (am), and of course I thought about mononucleoses and read the symptoms for it. For a moment there I was convinced I had mono, and started thinking about how my exam would go, and so on. I don't think it's mono though-- or, well, I dearly hope it's not any kind of sickness. I'm pretty sure it's only tiredness, lack of exercising the past week, and no meditation. Yes, I actually think that the latter helps. But that might just be the placebo effect. Think I'm going to take the weekend "off". Try to get some much needed sleep. Though I am going to finish my paper. Which, speaking of-- I had a meeting with my teacher today, and it was so nice to just speak with her because I was a bit worried I wouldn't get to take my exam. But she was very nice and reassuring, so now I don't dislike her that much. On Sunday I'm meeting up with Oyster-- our postponed date. I have to do a bit of planning for the next weeks, because it's beginning to look a lot like exam-time (did you see what I did there? no? yes?). I'm going to continue on my paper now-- I was at school pretty early to try revise my paper, and I went home at 2:00 pm in order to avoid the rush traffic. Only to have the bus drive past my stop, that is. But I remembered the last time it happened, and it was with my neighbour. And he said "oh well, it's great weather for a little walk". I mean, that's the attitude I'd like to have when I'm his age too. Also, yesterday I saw this elderly woman with mostly grey hair and a stripe of hot pink. I thought that was so inspiring. When I grow older and have grey hair, I'd like to colour it lilac. Also, because we always sit in the cafeteria when we're at school, we mostly see the same people walking past each day. And there's this lad with the most adorable dog who's been walking past the last two days. And hey, I don't really like staring at all. But that dog, it's so cute and I just want to cuddle it. I'm sure the owner thinks I'm abnormal for staring so much. I would. Anyway, yes, I am going to write on my paper. Possibly do some exercise if I can find time for it. Have almost forgotten it's Friday today-- so have a nice weekend. 

you took my soul and wiped it clean

Can't believe this was almost a week ago. I woke up at 7:00 am by Ale opening her bedroom door, home from her shift on her "praksis". And I was up and ready to go, ate some breakfast and went out to find a cafe and settled down. Marble stumbled in a few hours later, and I sat there from 8:00 am to 2:30 pm with my paper. I've been really tired the past few days after coming home from Bergen, and I can still feel it in my body. Had to take a little twenty minute-nap just now, and my head is a bit fuzzy. Hope it's just the stress, and that it'll get better once I've slept and am done with the papers I'm currently working on. Which is all I do these days. Had to cancel on Oyster today, because my other paper wasn't approved by my teacher. So now I've got to edit that as well. The only thing that worries me, really, is that if I don't get these things approved, I won't actually get to take my exam. And that's really worrisome. And goodness, you don't know how much I want to watch 1D day. I might even have to postpone that as well. Or, maybe just watch an hour each day. I sort of watched an hour before bed last night. Was supposed to go to bed early, but ended up going to bed at 1:00 am, so I didn't get to school until late today. I wasn't actually planning on going to school when I woke up today. Was too bloody tired, and thought Kiwi was skipping, so I figured I'd stay in bed too. But then she sent me a snap, and I realised she was going. Which was the sole reason for why I went too, and it was the better choice. You know what? I'm going to remove my nail varnish and vacuum my bedroom. I've been wanting to do it since I got home from visiting Ale, but I haven't found time for it. Also, HELLO-- I'm seeing Kodaline in four days. That's crazy. And their setlist is so good, and ahh, there's so much new music lately, I'm going a bit crazy. Kiwi and I were joking around, and telling Marble that we were going to make posters and wear t-shirts dedicated to Kodaline. And Marble was almost squirming in her seat, saying "erm, really??". We aren't, but it was very amusing to see Marble's reaction. But seriously, I'm listening to a few videos of their live shows via Youtube, and they're so bloody good.  It wasn't until I was in Bergen that I heard them for the first time outside my own earplugs. I think it was High Hopes, playing in some store. And I had to stop and just listen. Things I can't wait for: 1st of December because it means that Christmas is coming around. Which also means it's my annual tradition to find a new Christmas ornament for the tree. Also, I'm going to start listening to Christmas music. Or, hopefully. It's just that I think I might be listening to Midnight Memories a lot during December. It's weird, because I associate Best Song Ever by One Direction with summer. Like, it's almost palpable. Oh, wait-- the other day I saw this guy from behind. And it was like looking at a Burberry model straight from the runway. It was a really nice sight, ha. Anyway, have a nice Thursday evening. 

right now, I wish you were here with me

I hate it when One Direction decide to be adorable. Makes it harder to try not to like them. (Like it's ever going to work. Was jamming out to their CD this morning when I ate my breakfast). Goodness, they did something genius with one of their songs too; in Better Than Words, they've actually taken various song titles from other musicians and made it into a song. I did find it a bit weird hearing Niall singing "hips don't lie" (his verse is probably my favourite in this song). But now it's all very logical, and rather amusing. Anyway, I've had a great night sleep, and I feel so much more alive that I have been feeling for the past two days. I went to bed at 2:00 am yesterday (was really emotional and started crying a bit whilst listening to Right Now by One Direction and because I was looking at pictures and stuff. Yesterday was a big day for crying), but woke up at 11:00 am. That's bloody nine hours, meaning loads. Now I just need to write my two papers. I was nearly done with the first one yesterday, but I was soooo tired, and I figured it would be better to just finish it today. And now I'm here, looking at the clouds outside the window. It's actually really pretty. Erm, also, Nick Grimshaw, the radio person I adore-- he's appearing in all of these soap operas to "make his mum proud", and it's the most hilarious thing I've seen in awhile. My hair is sort of red. Er, I think I'm still a bit tired, because I'm being very unintelligible in this blogpost. Anyway, I'm going to hopefully finish writing everything today, so I can hang with Oyster tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'm going to school tomorrow, though I've not actually got any lectures or anything. It's just to assure that I'll be doing school work. In fact, I'm probably going to be at school a lot for the next three weeks. Hopefully going to be really productive and read and be smart and stuff. (and also, I sort of, kind of, really like Bound 2 by Kanye West, though the kilo-gang thinks it's rather ... well, not so great. I don't know, it's like the same with Dark Fantasy by Kanye West. I think it's a tune. Also, a little fact you might not have known: Justin Vernon, the vocalist from Bon Iver and Volcano Choir, his songs have been used in several songs by Kanye West. If you didn't already know, now you do).  

I will carry you over fire and water for your love

No but seriously-- I had the greatest time visiting Ale in Bergen. It didn't actually occur to me that I was going home until I was walking down to the platform to wait for the train home. As if I'd not just been on a plane. I was a bit (very) sad yesterday, because it's so bloody cold here, and it's not Bergen. And though I only was there for four days (three nights), it felt like I had been there for ages. I'm usually really happy to be home after having travelled somewhere too, but this time it felt a bit odd to find my bed waiting for me (not literally, although, you probably understood that). But yes, I had a blast in Bergen, and it's probably one of the reasons why I'm so exhausted now. I miss it dearly. Also, I miss Ale. Of the people I know, Ale and my belieber friend gives the best hugs. I like hugs. It didn't occur to me until today, when I was half asleep during a lecture-- that I've not actually slept for six full hours in four days. And the longest I've slept for a week was eight hours on Monday. The past week it's mostly been just below six hours sleep each day. And I am fully capable to live on little sleep, but not for so long. I'm pretty sure that's the reason for my tiredness both yesterday and today (I had tears in my eyes during the last hour of my lecture, so my sight was really blurry, and I couldn't even see the power point). After my lecture, I tried starting on a new paper-- err, I sort of skipped something mandatory yesterday due to my tiredness, and therefore I need to write a paper that my teacher is expecting on Thursday. I'm not too stressed about it, though I probably should. Anyway, I didn't actually start on it today because I was overtired, and really restless and giddy. I get really giddy when I'm overtired. I have a tendency to find most things really funny. A bit like being drunk really. Anyway, Kiwi started taking pictures, and I started trying to discover new music. And my belieber friend was sitting just behind me with her own study group. I had a lot of fun actually-- I can't even remember most of the things I found funny, all I remember is that I was laughing a lot. When Sugar and my belieber friend were done working on the paper they're currently working on, we headed to Wayne's Coffee, where we sat for hours upon hours. The kilo-gang was all in the same place again, which is always good. Sugar left a little before, but the rest of us stayed until 7:30 pm, I think? Or even later? I'm not quite sure. It was nice, and I was still overtired and found things really funny. Plus my hearing is horrible because I keep misunderstanding everything. I don't mind though. It sort of makes things funny. Okay, now I need to finish another paper due on Thursday, albeit it's a lot less complicated than the other one, so it should be good. I really badly want to watch the 1D day, but I don't have time to spend seven hours watching the live stream. So I'll have to wait for Friday at least. Maybe the weekend. I don't know, but I really want to watch it. Oh, also, Midnight Memories is better now that I've heard it all in one go. There's a lot of songs I really like, and so many I can't wait to listen to live. Can you believe that? I am going to see them again? That's amazing, is what it is. Okay, now I really have to do that paper, because the tiredness is slowly washing over me again, and I'd like to sleep soon. 

you're all I want, so much it's hurting

Været er feil, arkitekturen er feil, naturen er feil, menneskene er feil, dialekten er feil, atmosfæren er feil. Jeg er i feil by. Ta meg tilbake til Bergen. 

I will remember your face

Morning. I'm awake, and I'm cold, and I'm sort of still half dead. It's basically a very good environment for me to be all grumpy and likewise. But I'm pretty good for now. Just got myself a cup of tea to warm the "insides of my body" as I told Marble on our way to the train yesterday. Also said hello to Monchita who apparently isn't going to school, because is going to a lecture. And according to her, that isn't school. School is the building she's learned to know for the past four months. Anyway, Kiwi found out that she passed the math exam thing-y yesterday, so in celebration I obviously wrote her a fan fiction about Harry (her "husband" of months upon months now) congratulating her. It was a nice break from writing on my paper, and the perfect example of my ways of procrastinating. Not only will I read fan fiction, but I will write too. I thought I'd write a blogpost now, because I'll be too stressed later. Actually, I'm trying to avoid being so stressed, as I know it will tear on my immune system, and I sort of really don't want to become sick when travelling to Ale like I did last year. That horrible cough I didn't get rid of for ages-- yeah, no, it's very little enticing. Yesterday, Kiwi and I was sat in a group room that I had booked, and we were both working at our papers. But then I started sending her new One Direction music from Youtube via Facebook, and then I started sending random kid's TV, and she started doing it back-- and the thing is; with Kiwi, I can never remember where our trains of thoughts have started. It's like we jump from themes to themes, and in hindsight, I'll think "what the hell were we doing?". Anyway, the point is that I ended up watching bits of Littlefoot, which was my childhood movie, and it turns out it's made in 1988. That's ages ago (feels like it). Course I watched the scene where Littlefoot's mum dies, and I sort of almost started crying (had tears in my eyes). And then Kiwi left me to sit with Sugar. Well, I was supposed to move too, but I had this really great chair in my room, so I was very reluctant to go. In the end, I went to move over when Marble came to our school as well. It was nice, is the thing-- to be gathered with these people again. Also, Sugar was wearing dungarees, and they looked really nice (don't know where I'm going with that, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Don't mind my random trails of thoughts this morning) (speaking of random thoughts, Liam Payne is actually stupidly good looking, and he probably knows it, he's probably really smug about it that bastard). Anyway, I'm going to be really productive today. Also, I still have to pack (Marble just snapped me, asking if I'd packed yet), and I'm a bit afraid I'll forget something. But I'll cross that bridge when I'm there-- no use to be stressed about that right now. I'm not bringing my computer with me-- or, well, I don't think so? Maybe I'll change my mind, who knows. It means that there will probably not be any blogposts before Monday. Have a nice weekend! Also, everyone should check out this cover of The Wilhelm Scream. It might not be your cup of tea, but the vocals are undeniably amazing anyway. Like, seriously. Ahh, thank goodness for music. 

Oh, you plenty competent. So why aren’t you confident

I'm really not supposed to be here, and I'm going to hate myself for it later on when I'm stressed and trying to pack at midnight. My paper looks okay, but I've still got a lot of work to do. I'm going to bring a bit of work to Ale, so I might get something done. I've been at school from about 8:15 am-7:30 pm today, so when I got home, I was starving-- or well, wasn't starving, but my blood sugar was so low. Sometimes it feels like I'm just about to drop from exhaustion, and that's how I felt at the train home tonight. About yesterday-- it was magical. I think that's the word we've been using. Not only were there two "celebrities" in the crowd last night-- it appears that our dearest crown prince of Norway was also in the attendance. But that's not so important. The important bit is that Volcano Choir was amazing for so many reasons. They're good live, they're good with the crowd and shows gratitude towards the crowd. Also, their passion for the music is so apparent. It's like they're vibrating with excitement and the need to get their message across the crowd. Although I didn't exactly bop my head along to their music whilst listening to Repave for the past few weeks, I was strangely really into the music last night. I was just completely mesmerised. I would love to do it all over again, and now I'm just so much more exited for Kodaline in two weeks. 

Being here without you is like I'm waking up to only half a blue sky. Kinda there- but not quite

Morniiiiiiing! I'm currently listening to Nick Grimshaw's breakfast show live, which I've never done before for some reason. I think I've just never thought of listening to him when I'm awake so early. I woke up at 7:00 am today in order to drink a cup of tea. No, joke, (though I did make myself a cup of tea) I woke up early to write on my paper. That is all I've been nagging about for the past week, innit? Well, it's looking good thus far. Hope I've not completely misunderstood the task, and have to rewrite it tomorrow. When I woke up today, it was after a rather stupid dream about me ditching the lectures, Kiwi and the concert in order to finish my paper. Only, it wasn't intentional, I had just been caught up in my work. It was all very stressful, and it's like: Oh dear, it's not like I don't stress enough when I'm awake, but now I've got to do it in my slumber as well. Thanks a million. I've got rather interesting lectures today, and I really hope they will be good. Or else I'll be really disappointed. So, the songs from the Midnight Memories album was leaked yesterday, and now all traces seems to be removed. I was sorely disappointed when I awoke today to see that I couldn't give Half A Heart a listen. I fell asleep to it, and it's probably my favourite from the album. At least thus far. I just really like ballads, also there's the tiniest hint of the song that weirdly reminds me of Jonas Brothers. Also, there's is lovely harmonies, and nice lyrics, and yes. Just really love the song. Ooooh, Of The Night by Bastille is currently playing on the Breakfast show. Tuneeeeee! Something must have gone down yesterday, because the views on the blog were like, high. In a bit I'm going to start packing my stuff and get ready for school. But for now I'm going to be half asleep and continue editing my paper. Have a nice (almost wrote Wednesday there..) Tuesday! Enjoy the weather if it's not been extreme weather like it seems to have been in the whole world. It's like I said, I was waiting to see what the extreme weather would be in Norway, and it turns out to be storms and heavy rain. Only, it's been like, half of the country suffering, and I'm not in that half. Global warming is actually one of my biggest fears. The term "global warming" has been shown like something radical, and something that's supposed to happen to quickly, which means people doesn't believe it because they're like "hey, everything is fine, oh that's one storm, but it's not like everyone is dying". But it's something that's been slowly happening throughout all years. (started from the bottom now we're here). And for a little period of my life, I had nightmares about it all the time. And it's terrifying seeing that there's extreme weather everywhere. But yes, have a nice Tuesday. Be productive, and be happy. 

I'm half a heart without you. I'm half a man at best, with half an arrow in my chest

Thought I'd maybe write a bit more serious blogpost now that I'm more calm and collected. The Midnight Memories album is a bit fuzzy for me still-- I've not had the time to listen though it enough to make myself a opinion. The only thing I'm certain about, is that it's not really an album. More like a few different songs squished together in an "album". So I think they can work on that for their future albums. Though I am a really big 1D fan, it doesn't automatically mean I love everything they do, and all of their music. Thus far, I'm a bit split. Some songs have hit right home to my heart, and others are a bit "errrr". I followed Lynx and David to the train this afternoon. And David, always the charming kid-- we were taking the lift up to the platform where the train was stopping, and this was the rush-time, which means another train filled with people were rushing from the train to wherever they were going. And so when the lift-door opened, there were loads of people waiting to get in. And what does David do? He waves to everyone and says "Hi!". Oh, and on the bus down to the train, he sang bits of Baby by Justin Bieber out loud. He's been singing "baby, baby ooooh" for the past days, but in another melody than the actual song, so when I asked Lynx if it was the Bieber-song he was singing, she confirmed it. Oh god, that reminds me. I told Lynx that I was feeling sore in my arms after having raking leaves in my garden yesterday, and she laughed at me. "If so, you should join me when I go to exercise", and I answered "that's exactly why I shouldn't join you". After they left, I got home to see that Monchita was cleaning up after them, which warmed my heart because it means she listened to my angry rant on Friday. In the midst of my supper, I got a call from Ale. She's twenty today (finally) (alles gute zum geburtstag!). I think I've known her for five years now? Or, four? Marble and I are going to visit her from Thursday to Sunday. It's all very exciting! Tomorrow I might (most probably) sleep over at Kiwi's, because we are going to see VOLCANO CHOIR in concert (if I'm excited? oh, eh, yes). And then I'm staying behind at school on Wednesday in order to hopefully finish my paper. I've decided now that I'm going to dedicate Thursday for packing. But yes, that means that I'll barely be home this week. And then when I come home from Ale it's the actual release of the Midnight Memories album, and I'll watch the live stream I will have missed by then, and I'll listen to Kodaline in preparation for their concert. And then on Sunday it will be the December 1st. And then I actually have to get my head in the game and start preparing for my exam. Can't wait! And I'm being completely honest. And I can't wait to be done with the paper I'm currently struggling with too. And that's what I'm going to focus on right now. That- and listen to Nick Grimshaw, because oh, I love him so. Or well, his voice, and his humour, I guess. 

we can make it to the end, nothing can come between you and I

Oh my god what is happening. I just got on Tumblr to see that loads of the songs from the Midnight Memories album by One Direction has been leaked. And it's only a week left to the release, and I'm both surprised and not surprised that things have leaked. Because when have it not leaked. Niall for one, is not happy about it, if I've translated his "That's annoying!" on Twitter correct. But I'm so overwhelmed, because with some songs it's like they actually have changed direction completely???? Or like, a thousand different directions??? I don't-- oh my god, it's too early for this shit. And now I can't actually listen to them intently, because the visitors are still here, and bah, I don't have time for this shit. I'm not going to cry, I'm not. What have my life become? 

you can put some joy up on my face, sunshine in an empty place

Hello. I'm really tired and sort of want to fall face down on my bed (which currently is a humongous bed in our basement, which, despite all the years I've lived in the house, I've never slept there before now). But instead, I'm hopefully going to be productive and write loads on my paper. Yesterday, before I went to bed, I watched this interview with One Direction, and I just thought it was perfect. Obviously, everyone is taking the mick out of Harry as per usual. I would love to see an interview where there were original and interesting questions directed at Harry. I think, if you gather Harry and Niall together for an interview, and you start talking politics and views of the world-- you'll hit the pot. But that's my opinion, so. Anyway, the interview is "perfect" because there is great banter, and Zayn actually speaks quite a lot, actually-- everyone speaks a bit for a change, and they're all squished into a big sofa together, and they're wearing maroon and looking stupidly gorgeous, and they're talking about Oslo. So what's not to love, is the question? Ha. I've watched it a few times today again, because I can't get over how nice they look (sigh). Okay, now I'm going to work (I'm forever going to think of Britney Spears now, aren't I?) hard, because I don't have time to not. 

you have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve

Hiya! Yesterday I had a rather repetitive lecture again, but this time I sat through it all. And I suspect I did, only because the lecturer had a major in philosophy, and to me there is something alluring with philosophical people. After my lecture, Marble came to my school and we sat together studying (read: discussing chess, poverty, and other political themes) for a few hours. And then I went home, only to realise that no one had bothered to clean the house. It made me really angry, because I personally feel like it's always me who does the task. So when Monchita greeted me asking what's up, I said: "I'm really pissed off at the whole family, is the thing" and then I went on a rant of how no one bothered to clean the house when Lynx and David was coming to visit, or like, whenever anyone comes to visit us. But luckily I'm somewhat better with controlling my anger, so I didn't shout, I just said everything that peeved me off, and I asked my sister afterwards if my reasons for my anger were valid, and she actually agreed with me. Because I think I'm slowly building some kind of OCD, I nearly started crying of looking at all the mess in the house. And it's probably also because of the Bastille concert I was missing, which-- I'm really surprised how much it hurt not going to the concert. And if I think of it enough, I might start crying, so I won't. I had to get Lynx and David from the train station yesterday, because Lynx hadn't brought with a stroller, and well, it's a bit funny, because the day before I'd been dreaming about having a toddler and travelling. And seriously, it's really the hardest thing, travelling alone with a child. Or, well, it was in my dream. It's looking very dark for my paper. I'm not quite sure if I'll be able to finish it in time, but it's not like I'm going to die, so that's good. I watched David today, and it's been very eventful. Let's just say that I've now experienced catching vomit with my hands. Anyway, I've got to go, because I desperately need to do some work on my paper. Have a nice weekend, and eat a piece of chocolate for me! (mentally trying to schedule my life, sigh. And when I'm going to find time to pack for Bergen)

I'll be yours to keep. A wind in the shadow, a whale song in the deep.

You know what? "Sashaying" is a really funny word. Anyway, hello! I'm really happy today. Went to bed listening to Only Love by Ben Howard again. Woke up, meditated for five minutes, which is still a really hard task, but it does help me sort out my mind and, weirdly enough it works like some sort of awakening in the mornings for me. I skipped out on half of my lecture today, seeing as it was mostly just repetition for me, which is a great thing. Repetition, that is. And the lecturer was actually really great. Also, Kiwi has abandoned me, so that's sad. But what was supposed to only be a 30-minute break from the lecture, turned into almost an hour and a half-long chat with my belieber friend. And we could have probably dragged it on for longer. But yes, that's one of the parts of why I am happy. I don't know, but it's like my friends just give me happiness. The one hour and a half is also one of the reasons why we should not attend the same class, because I'm afraid I'd chat more than focus on school. And well, looking back at last year, it's probably somewhat true. I promised my belieber friend that I'd write about her theory she came up with today. According to her, I'm more focused on my friends (and One Direction) than trying to find a guy. And to my belieber friend: I'm pretty sure you're more obsessed with me finding a guy than I am myself. I mean, her theory is probably right, but it lacks a lot of information. Like the fact that I don't actually want to find a guy in this moment. This brings me back to the expectations of the society. But I'm not going to delve into that again. Anyway, after chatting with my lovely belieber friend, I went ahead to see my teacher, but she was not in her office today, so I headed for the library instead. About my paper-- well, I'm basically back to square one. And it's fine, considering it's only been two days since we officially started the paper and all. But I'm still a bit nervous about how my stress level will be if I have to finish my paper in a hurry. Still, I found two books that are relevant to my paper (or so I hope), and they were rather interesting, so I'm counting that as a win. On my way back to the train station, I decided to stop by the Royal Palace, because I've not been there since forever. And almost each time I walk past it, I slap myself for not bringing my camera. I did however do that today, but the weather isn't that nice today, so that's a bit stupid. Except, I kind of like the gloomy weather nowadays, apart from the darkness. I did end up watching the royal guards do their little routine thing-y. Which is the first time I've ever seen it. Had it been sunny today, I'd probably gone to the park and settled on a bench. Anyway, had I not stopped by the Royal Palace, I would have caught an earlier train. Instead I was just a bit too late for my bus home, so I sat down at the bench to wait for the bus. And in the midst of my reading I heard someone say my name. When I looked up I saw one of my old childhood friends, and I've not seen her in forever, so that was really nice. We had a bit of an update on each others lives, and just as she was telling me about her current relationship status, Oyster came into our view. And it was a bit humorous, like a little reunion. Because the three of us used to hang out when we were little kids. And I'm choosing to believe that it was fate for me to meet them again today, albeit briefly. I've not even seen Oyster in about a month, so I must schedule to meet her some day. Because I've not been sure how to start my paper, I've been reading fan fictions, which has been a great distraction for my agitation and stress. It's just when you read something really good, and it ends so abruptly, and you're like noooooooooooo. Which is me, all the time. Anyway, I've not eaten that much today, and it almost feels like it's time for bed seeing as it's stupidly dark outside. I'm going to grab some grub, and hopefully write something for my paper. Crossing my fingers, actually.

cause baby running after you is like chasing the clouds

Hello again, it's just turned dark(er) outside, and it's almost like it's been better for my mood. Oh goodness, I keep doing this to myself. Just realised I hadn't listened to Nick Grimshaw's breakfast show in ages, and so when I scrolled past the upcoming and old broadcasts, I saw that Bastille will be in the studio tomorrow. And I went yayyyy and then I remembered once again that I've not got tickets for the show. Great for my wallet, but awful for my soul. And I am absolutely not being dramatic and over exaggerating. Absolutely not. Kiwi has once again been my saving angel. Maybe her many epiphanies have infected me. But after having eaten my lunch (which really was an early dinner), I watched the whole Adele concert in the Royal Albert Hall, and it was really nice and relaxing. Then I did a little brainstorming, and it was great, because now I actually feel like I have a bit of control. Oh, currently listening to 1975 on the breakfast show, and it reminds me of their concert in Norway, which I'll miss because I'm going to Bergen. I don't think I would have gone anyway, or, maybe. I'm not quite sure, because I've been listening to them a lot lately. Another thing I'm going to miss whilst being in Bergen is the 1D day, which is a 7(!!!!!) hour long live show. I'm not quite sure what they will do for such a long time, but it sure as hell should make up for zero twitcams during the Take Me Home tour. Is it really pathetic that I'm sad because there's close to no new pictures of 1D? Probably, yeah. It's good that I don't care, then. Oh, and Niall as an uncle is horrible. Actually, 1D with babies in general is horrible. Is it too early to hope that some of them will produce babies soon? Anyway, I've gotten a new favourite hobby; looking at houses. Had to stop myself today from scrolling through all the houses for sale, and then I went on to look at strollers, which probably is a worse hobby. Oh, and I also found my paint-stuff, because I've not painted in forever, so I decided to change that today. I'm not very creative, but hey, it's my favourite part from Story of My Life. (Zayn I love youuuu). I'm going to exercise in a bit, and then jump in the shower. And hopefully, I'll get some work done within the evening. I've got lectures tomorrow, but it isn't until later, so that's nice. It's nice not having to wake up early every day. Not that I've been at school every day, in fact, I've barely been at school. It's like I don't go to school at all. I still hope that you're being loads more productive than me, though, according to the snapchats I'm getting from Oyster, the productivity level isn't that high today. 

regrets and mistakes, they're memories made

I, wow. I just needed a break from my paper. Sometimes my brain works overload, and it's just ready to explode. I've basically spent my morning reading up on curriculum relevant for my paper plus research articles, and trying to think of a way to start my paper. And I just came to a brink, where I was about to have a head ache, which I never really have, so I had to take a break. Put on some calming sounds of rain and had a bit of meditation on the spot. It's underestimated how hard meditation is, to clear your head. Like, I'll be trying to focus on raindrops, and just rain drops. But as a normal human being, you have associations to everything. So when I think of raindrops, I automatically think of back to August when I sat outside reading in the rain, and then I think of the book I was reading, and so on. And now I'm just a bit exhausted. Also, when I exercise, I don't really feel the ache the morning after. Nope, it's the day after that. So when I awoke today, I felt the ache in my ribs and legs and back, and everything. Yesterday I listened to Adele singing Someone Like You live at the Royal Albert Hall, and it made me shed a few tears. It's such a beautiful performance, and when the crowd starts singing along and Adele starts crying-- it's just so lovely. It also made me remember how much I love Adele, so she's been on replay on my iTunes today. I would love to attend a concert of hers, I can just imagine it being magical. Anyway, I hope that I'll get some kind of revelation about my paper during this day, that I'll be able to start it. Apart from my struggle, I've actually been really good at reading and being focused at my paper, so that's good (giving myself a clap on the shoulder). I can't wait for the weekend, to see my nephew and eat chocolate. That's high on my list of things that makes me happy right now. Also, whilst brushing my teeth, it just hit me that next week, it'll only be a month until Christmas Eve. That's ridiculously little time. It made me so happy, until I realised that I've only bought one present thus far. Anyway, I'm going to eat some lunch and try to calm my brain furthermore. Have a nice Wednesday, and hopefully you'll be more productive than me. 

I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go

Hello, "you are enough" is basically a title of a Sleeping At Last song (surprise), that I enjoy very much (love the Light EP in general) and thought suited to the subject I am about to elaborate on. I was speaking with Kiwi about "Prosjekt Perfekt", and we spoke about the pressure of looking good, and just being "perfect" after this societies rules. And, like, if I were not critical at all, and I'd have listened to every tip and what's considered "beautiful" and "perfect" in this society, I'd surely gone mad. I've put quotation marks around the words beautiful and perfect, because the meaning of the words are individual. What lies within the words are up to every individual. I think I once wrote that-- no, just realised it was something I wrote in my drawing book and took a picture of, and maybe posted onto my blog? Anyway, it was: nothing is ugly until someone says so. Like, honestly, it's we who decide what's considered beautiful and ugly. And I think therefore we ought to be smart enough to remember not to listen to all these things. And just think that you are enough, basically. I told Kiwi, that if I could learn the world a lesson, it would be to accept themselves. No matter how much you want to be Angelina Jolie, you'll never become her. Sure, you can do plastic surgery and everything, but it won't make you Angelina Jolie. You can only be the best you can be. And that is enough. If anyone makes you feel that you constantly need to change yourself, they're not worth your time. Honestly. You'll be so much happier if you just accept yourself, is the thing. Also, expectations from society is something humans have made, so it's completely fine to "break the rules". Don't be how everyone says you have to be, be yourself. Like, I'm not going to defend Miley Cyrus for everything she's doing, but I don't hate her. I think it's nice to see her be free and do whatever she wants. I'm just afraid she's trying to live up to expectations about how all the Disney people go "bad". Which again, expectations of the society. Okay, enough with the pep talk (although I am serious about what I just wrote). I really, really, really want dungarees. I don't care if they look ill-fitting and are unflattering. I just love them so much, it's ridiculous. Also, I'd love a blue coat. Yesterday I was stood in front of my closet, trying to figure out what I should wear today, and I had one of those "I've got nothing to wear". Oh, and yesterday I couldn't find it in myself to start writing my paper, when I was unsure of how to begin. So, I flipped my bed over, rolled out the yoga mat, and put on some fitting music. Did a stretching routine, because I'm really not flexible, which I realised after being tested in my flexibility by Marble and Kiwi the other day. And seriously, it hurt. Then I proceeded to do some leg exercises, because it's been awhile since I've done them. This is when my sister (Monchita) opened the door and asked me what I was doing. In the midst of her story, and me doing exercises, she asked: "isn't that like really exhausting?". Anyway, she had apparently had a whole school day of exercising, which sounded really nice, to be honest. There is something really satisfying to completely wear your body out. Anyway, after she decided she was done with telling me her stories of the day, I then proceeded to do some core exercises, which killed me. But, honestly, there was a point where my breath was loud and every second and I just wanted to lie down (was currently doing the plank after some kind of jumping exercise-thing-y) and have a cry. This was at the end of everything, so when I was still panting a bit, I put on some relaxing music and meditated for a good five minutes. It was very calming, and I did the same thing when I woke up today. It's very calming, and I think I'm going to try to fit into my morning- and night routine everyday. Although, maybe not when I'm sleeping over at someone-- that might be a bit awkward. Anyway, I had school today, and it was probably the most awkward meeting thus far. Not only did I manage to say that "our teacher is always late" the second my teacher walked inside the room. But then we were finished before the meeting was scheduled to end, so my teacher went "is there something more you want to discuss", and no one answered. And like, she just sat there, saying "erm" and "hmm" and all the things she does when it's quiet. And I honestly think we sat like that for minutes before one of the other students in my group broke the silence and asked if we were done. Ha, it was just so awkward. Thus far my teacher has been very kind with everything, but she's really strict about deadlines, so the new paper is supposed to be done within two weeks. It's nice, though, because it means I'll have three weeks without having to worry about any papers to prepare for my exam. I'm just a bit worried about how I'll manage to get it all finished. But you know, what does Tim from Project Runway always say? Make it work! Oh goodness, imagine Tim Gunn coming inside your bedroom every hour to ask how it's going and then say "make it work". Like, I can just imagine it. Hilarious is what it is. Okay, now I seriously have to go to the loo (Kiwi's voice), and then start working on my paper. To summarise, be yourself (which means you have to accept yourself-- your flaws and everything, oooh, made me think of Bastille, and now I'm sad because I've not got a ticket to their show on Friday) and make things work. Solutions is the answer!

everyone knows it's meant to be, falling in love, just you and me

I've come to realise that I am a quite organised person. It's not a big shock or anything, but it's still a bit amusing to me that I didn't realise until recently. I write lists, because I'm very forgetful, plus there is something so satisfying about being able to cross out things you've done. It's like a proof of your productivity, I guess. And who doesn't enjoy being productive? My drawers are sorted into different categories, and ha, my make-up drawer in the hall is actually sorted by where the make-up goes on my face. I just really enjoy being organised, I guess. And I told Marble the other day that I keep things like a travel toothbrush, make-up remover, and likewise in a purse in case I'm not sure whether I am sleeping over at a person's house or not. Or when someone calls me up and asks me to come over asap, it's really nice to have everything sorted already. Anyway, I've sort of ignored the fact that Jonas Brothers have "split up", because well, I don't really want to believe it. And then, if it was anyone else, like One Direction, I would have been much more upset, because Jonas Brothers are in fact brothers, which means they'll always somehow be together. The thing I'm most upset about is that I never got the chance to see them in concert, and that burns a bit. But hey, maybe Nick will come out with a new album with the Administration and go on tour. I will definitely be down for that. Right now I'm reminiscing by listening to their music, but apart from Jonas Brothers, the music that is currently dominating in my ear buds right now, is the album Reprave by Volcano Choir. Which, it should, seeing as the concert is in eight days. I'm so excited, it's a bit ridiculous. It's ridiculous because I just got introduced to them by Kiwi, and wehey, now we're going to see them live. But it's not like I've never heard of Justin Vernon, so it's not completely foreign to me. I've just been reading up on some curriculum for the paper I will start writing this week. Also, I think I might try to finish watching "Prosjekt Perfekt" today, because it was highly interesting (also, the one who's edited and put in the music is really cool, because the music is really cool). But right now I might grab myself some lunch. Have a nice and productive Monday, also, my horoscope has given some great advice today: "Instead of worrying about what you are unable to do, be grateful for what you can accomplish". Also, everyone should pray for all the bad things that are happening in the world right now, and be thankful for even being alive. When I think of the Philippines, I think of global warming and extreme weather. And it makes me wonder if Norway's extreme weather will be extreme cold, and if in the coming years, we will have more and more extreme winters, and if people will die of it. 

no love, no glory, no hero in her sky

I went to bed listening to The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice yesterday, because it's so nice. And it really bugs me, because I feel like I recently heard it somewhere, but I can't seem to remember where. Anyway, yesterday I gave up on refreshing my knowledge in anatomy, and rather watched the finale of "Stjernekamp" and then I proceeded to watch a documentary about pill abuse, which I found very interesting, because I've only ever been on "the outside looking in". Like, I've met people that have taken overdoses, and I've never quite understood the mental part of why, but the documentary was a very nice aid to understand the whole picture. That's the thing, it's hard to nurse people that are experiencing something you've never experienced yourself, because you don't really understand, do you? But you ought to try anyway. Today I woke up abruptly because of the insistent knocking on my door by my father. Thanks. Had Vietnamese fresh spring rolls, which is one of my favourite meals. After that I watched this sort of documentary called "Prosjekt Perfekt", and that's basically what I've been doing today, other than eating. I've not got school tomorrow, but I think I might go to do some studying. Something to tame the restlessness I'm currently feeling. Anyway, Grimmy and Harry has been hanging together the past days, and for some reason it makes me really happy because they're such a great duo. Also, Niall got mobbed on the day of his nephew's baptism. That's a bit wacky, I think. It would be something entirely different if it was a birthday party, or something likewise. I think it's crossing a line when it comes to something as religious as a baptism. Anyway, I also think Liam looks really good with Sophia, think he's really happy. I still love Gemma, Harry's sister. Think she's so witty. Zayn and Perrie have gotten a new cat, and honestly, I actually think they have a good shot on being the one for each other. At least it seems that way. I've no idea where Louis is, which is a bit of a surprise. And that's the update of One Direction's whereabouts. Anyway, Grepper held a surprise party for Lynx yesterday, and it makes me so happy for her. I wish I could have been there to see the surprise in her face when she walked into the venue. Also, other happy news, Marble managed to get a ticket to the Kodaline concert, which means we are going. I'm really happy about it because happy friends makes me happy. The only downside is that it's so far away still (not really, but it feels like it). But, Kiwi and I have decided to attend a Volcano Choir concert in just over a week from now. It's going to be good. Lynx and David is coming this Friday, then I'm going to the Volcano Choir concert, and then I'm going to visit Ale in Bergen, and then it's the Kodaline concert. Everything seems really great at the moment, and I hope nothing will burst the little happy bubble I'm currently in. But something usually do. 

lift your hands and voices, free your mind and join us

Hello! I'm back home, and the last 24 hours have been really nice. The stars were really bright last night, which is why I was staring at them whilst walking to the bus stop. It's admittedly not the safest thing to do, but one of my favourite activities. As Kiwi nicely put it, we started the night acting like proper adults, and then slowly progressed into children. Marble made us some lasagne, and Kiwi helped out with the salad. And I, er, I cut the bread. The meal was heavenly, and we all ate loads. We also had some wine with it, and watched The Voice. And wow, apparently I should start watching The Voice for real, because all the contestants chooses songs that are my favourites. It was uncanny, how almost everyone sang songs that I love. Anyway, we ate dinner, drank wine, and watched the news-- which is why we felt a bit like proper adults. And then we put on "old school" music and had a dance party. Like teenagers. And then when we were tired of listening to Britney's fake "British" accent in Work Bitch (can someone please tell me why she's opted to do such an awful accent?), we decided to play a board game, which is when we progressed into children. Kiwi nearly fell asleep, and none of us were really any closer to winning the board game than when we started the game an hour before, so we decided to call quits. Instead we played another game, which was a lot more amusing. In between the rounds we went ahead and had some cake and tea. In the end, Marble and Kiwi were too tired to continue the game. Whereas I felt completely awake, although I could sense that I was tired. You know when you feel awake, but you know the second you fall into bed, you'll be knocked out? I had that feeling yesterday, so when Marble asked if I wanted to watch a film, I declined. Instead we somehow decided to rearrange the DVD's after my complaints of them being illogically placed. Mind you, this was about 4-5 am in the morning, and we were sat there stacking DVD's. Kiwi came to sit beside us and looked a bit like she would pass out soon. Which reminds me; Kiwi laughed at herself because she had apparently gone on her mobile to see if I'd written a new blogpost, and then she realised I hadn't because obviously, I was there with them. I told her that I find it so odd that they read my blog, because I kind of forget that people do. Like, the other day when the kilo-gang were at the cafe, I saw my blog on Sugar's mobile, and it was maybe the weirdest sight ever. Like huh, that is my blog. Right. This made me wonder out loud if Kiwi didn't find it odd with me writing about her in my blog. And she shrugged and said no, so I elaborated, telling her that it's almost like I'm writing a fanfiction about her, isn't it? Anyway, we went to bed at 5:30 am according to Marble. And it was so nice to fall into the bed. And for once I slept in, and Marble woke up early. Kiwi and I woke up at 12:30, and then joined Marble at the couch to watch some telly before we had breakfast. I didn't leave Marble's house before 4:30 pm, and I somehow managed to come home at the best time, because mum had just finished making the dinner. Oh, I just remembered; Marble can't join us to the Kodaline concert, because all the tickets are shockingly gone. It's shockingly, because I didn't realise they were that popular? It's a bit sad, because Marble actually really wanted to come along. And I get that it sucks. Right now I'm eating a bit of chocolate, since it's Saturday, and then I'm going to spend today doing some school work. Or, well, hopefully, because I want to get an early start. Also, I'm like, almost a bit stressed about having so much time off? It's like, ever since "praksis" ended, I've felt like I have so much spare time, and nothing to do. And I'm not used to it, not used to not sitting and reading school curriculum like a crazed student. So I feel a bit stressed, because it feels like I'm supposed to do something all the time, and that I should be reading now. It's just all really odd. Oh well, have a nice evening.

I spend most time writing at nights, whatever it may be I'm writing. I've always wondered why, wondered if that's when ideas pops into my head. But I realised last night, that it's because at night I'm too tired to alter the truth. It shouldn't be a surprise to me, because you'll get most honesty out of people when they're too tired of holding it in by themselves, when they let their walls down. 

a million choices, though little on their own, became the heirloom of the heaviness we've known

It snowed today! I ran downstairs to tell my dad, and he was like yeah, saw it. And I was like but oh my god, it's so exciting! To celebrate, I've now made a new folder for my pictures, called "winter 2013". Very creative. I think I woke up quite late today, which was nice. And then I had the house for myself, and made myself some nice breakfast, brought it out in the living room-- and then I was just getting some juice from the kitchen. And here's the thing, I was listening to music with earbuds in, and so when my dad opened the kitchen door simultaneously as I was walking out the door, I was so startled. Which resulted in me jumping, which caused my juice to overflow the glass and all over me and the floor. Just my luck, in other words. I'm really easy to startle, think I'm just naturally jump-y. Anyway, got to my school at 2:00 pm to meet Kiwi and Sugar. We were there for almost two hours before we went to the cafe across the street from our school to meet up with my belieber friend. It was really nice to hang with everyone again. And just chat, and being ridiculous and laugh, and just being together. It's a bit sappy, but the kilo-gang is an assortment of some of my favourite people, so you know, always good to spend time with them. Also, after spending so much time with the same people in a group, it will form some kind of group dynamic. Which makes it apparent when someone's gone. It's really odd is what it is. Kiwi and my belieber friend did jokingly (?) say that they think I live a double life. Also, it appears that no one believes me when I say that I don't think about getting a boyfriend 24/7. I'm not quite sure what vibes I am giving, if that's what they are thinking. But then I don't really know how their minds are. Anyway, I managed to finish two birthday cards yesterday, which I'm really proud of, because I felt really productive yesterday. I've just not actually written both of the cards yet. I'm going to write the card for Lynx, because her birthday is in a few days. Tomorrow I'm most probably going to have a girls night in with Marble and Kiwi. And then the day after I think we're going to attend a little concert. Basically, I think it's going to be a good few days. I think it's important, you know, to fill your days with the people that makes you happy. It's not always I have this much spare time, most of the time I'm studying, so when I do have spare time, I try to make the best out of it. Try to do all the things I think of doing when I don't have the time. Also, I'm going to leave you with a quote which I think is correct and lovely. I know I've felt the same way thousands of times. But you have to start somewhere. 

"Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually. They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first. And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready."

we will let the water fill our lungs and sleep

One of my favourite things to do, is to write nice anonymous messages to people on Tumblr. I mean, it takes very little to put a smile on someone's face, so why not? And if you want to analyse this doing-- it's sort of an egoistic act, because although the ulterior motive is to make someone feel nice, I feel nice about myself by doing it as well. These are the things we don't really think about. Like, when you donate things, give money, etc. You get "something" in return in the form of a feeling. And believe it or not, but a feeling can be more than something material sometimes. Is this too deep shit? Probably. Anyway, the presentation went well today, not that I thought it would be horrible. I just get really nervous about presentations these days. Just because I've not had a proper presentation with a power point and a script since "high school". And that's ages ago. Honestly, I was thinking about being 17 yesterday, and I was thinking "it's not that long ago, feels like yesterday", when it's really three years ago. I'm really growing old, aren't I? Back to the point, I felt really awful yesterday because I had to prepare to the presentation, and whenever I think of actually having a presentation, my stomach becomes uneasy and my heartbeat picks up on speed. Plus Faye wasn't feeling to well yesterday. It's not my case to say, but you know, sometimes your friends feel awful, and you feel so bad about it yourself. And my problem is that I don't know how to console people. It's just, I don't know what to say or do, and then it's just silence. All these feelings were the reason why I read that fan fiction yesterday, and as I had predicted it made me really sob. Just the description of the story made me sad. Anyway, everything went well today, and I found myself sort of wishing that Faye and I was in the other study group we spent so much time with during "praksis". It's just that I remember feeling like everyone had known each other forever, and now in the new study group, everyone's so damn silent. Maybe it's just a process. Give it a little time. I do tend to get attached to people outside my own study group, ha. Oh well. I've decided to dedicate the day to make cards. Like, for birthdays and other events coming up. The picture is of the latest card I made for Volla, who just had her birthday. And then hopefully I'll go to bed early, because I need to catch up on some sleep. Tomorrow is probably (hopefully) spent with the whole kilo-gang for once. In like, ever. And when I say "ever", I genuinely do mean it. I think it might have been almost two months since we've all been gathered for real? Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. It's really cold out today. Maybe the snow will make an appearance soon. Right, have a nice Wednesday!

I hope it made you feel good, knowing how much I adored you

I don’t know why infidelity is such a touchy subject to me. As far as I'm aware, I've never experienced or known anyone who’s experienced it. On like a serious level, that is. I don’t think I was even aware of how much of a touchy subject it is to me, until I read this fan fiction I read just now. And I've somehow just realised why Daughter’s songs pierces through me as well. I think the thing is- I like solutions. Does that make sense? Whenever I stumble upon a problem, I’d rather find the solution than mope. With infidelity I don’t know. Do you choose to leave or stay if someone cheats on you? To me it almost stays unsolvable. Course, if the guy is a jerk, then there's no question. But what if it's the guy you've been with for eight years, and he's the one. And you know each other's quirks twists, and the amounts of freckles, and how he looks when he's lying to his parents. And after everything, you still love him. Society says you should go, he’s not worth it. Respect yourself, don't go back to him! But you still love him, and you feel so ashamed for it. And you hate him for what he’s done, for what he’s ruined, and you want to kill him. But not really, because you love him, but you’re so angry. But you still want him to dry your tears and cuddle you, and even after you've kicked him out of your house, everything reminds you of him. I just—I don’t know. If someone were to ask me about infidelity, asked me what I’d do, then I don’t think I could answer. No one can really, I don’t think one single person can wholeheartedly say “I would leave” before experiencing it. Did she make your heart beat faster than I could? Did she give you what you hoped for? 

and if the night is burning I will cover my eyes

Hello. Oh wow, it's just turned dark in my bedroom and it's only a bit past 4:00 pm. Yesterday I went by Lush in order to buy myself some bath bombs. One of which is called "Shoot For Stars". It's supposed to become like the night sky, and how could I pass that? Which reminds me, I just saw the trailer for Gravity, and I sort of really want to watch it. I mean-- I love Sandra Bullock for some reason, and I do like the universe. Oh, and speaking of upcoming movies! Ed Sheeran has a new track on the newest Hobbit movie! I'm so excited! For both Ed Sheeran and the new Hobbit movie. Oh, now I really want to watch the first movie. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow, after finishing with my presentation first. I mean, I do know how to prioritise some times. Seriously, it's been 15 minutes since I started writing this blogpost, and now it's almost completely dark in my bedroom. Because of school today, I had to remove my nail varnish yesterday. I'm really tired, really sleepy. I've been spoiled with days off, so I've been getting loads of sleep. But I got six hours tonight, which is acceptable for me, but apparently it's not now seeing as I've gotten so much sleep lately. Lately meaning; last four days. Haha. I read a hilarious fan fiction today. As in; I definitely snorted out loud on the train whilst reading it, and I could barely hold in my laughter. I just don't get how people can write so random stories, like, what on earth are they thinking when they're writing things like that? Oh, Monchita just came inside my room to give me a package! I literally ordered it two days ago? And it's here. Already. That is really impressive. It's the Christmas present I was talking about, and now I just need to wrap it! Oh god, I love wrapping. Sometimes I think maybe magazines go on Tumblr to find inspiration, because the story about Liam slowly turning into David Beckham has been all around Tumblr for awhile now, and it's a bit freaky. I can't tell you how many times I've cursed at pictures of Liam the past month. I mean, what. Okay, right, I've got to go now. School work, you know. Presentation, power points and all that jazz. Not like, Youtube, Tumblr, Twitter and One Direction. Yeah, I'm definitely not going for the latter alternatives.