may these words be the first to find your ears

For the longest time I've been looking for a fake flower to add in my collection of small vases. But I don't know about you, but I think most fake flowers look ridiculously fake. Maybe that's the point, so you don't go around mistaking which plants to water or not. But I've decided that I don't like the look of fake flowers that look fake. Would love to find some that actually look real. So my small glass vases have been empty for years. But the other day I saw a video of a persons apartment, and she used dried eucalyptus branches, which I thought was brilliant. I was passing my regular flower shop, when I spotted bunches of eucalyptus branches, and I can't tell you how happy I was to find some. I did almost trip over a lost wallet/purse on the floor whilst two mums with their buggies were watching me. Obviously gave it to the cashier, and when the lady who had lost her wallet came running back, we both smiled at each other. I probably only needed two eucalyptus branches, as my intention was only to display them in the small glass vase I keep on my windowsill. I'm intending to just dry them out, and hopefully be able to keep them for a long time. The rest of the branches I've put in my empty flower pot with actual water. It's also in the windowsill, and now my windowsill looks a bit like a small forest (not really). I started my day lazing in my bed for two hours before I actually got up. It's a problem, and I'm really trying to get out of the habit. I had oatmeal for breakfast because I finished the bread two days ago. I used to eat oatmeal before morning shifts, and I've forgotten how filling it really is. After breakfast I put on my clothes and went out to do my errands. And luckily it wasn't really raining whilst I was walking outside. It's getting rather cold nowadays, and I wasn't sure what kind of outerwear I needed. But I managed to pick the perfect outfit for today. I mentioned the other day that I was in need for some inspiration, so I went to my local library (my favourite library) and hung out with the poetry section for quite awhile. It's weird how such few words can instantly evoke some emotion. As poetry doesn't tend to be long books, I read through one book, and leafed through a few others. One of the books was a hardback with a paper cover, and the paper cover had been used as a bookmark from the last person who read through the book. It felt like a moment, reading the poem they had bookmarked. It was just such a nice thing, so I left it at the same poem. I brought with me three poetry books home so I can enjoy them properly. My goal with visiting the mall today was to find passepartouts to my picture frames and to find a birthday present to Ale. I managed that in addition to buying myself new wool layering pieces, buying two Christmas presents, and stocking up on my D-vitamins. I'm sure I walked around the mall several times, and I finally left to go grocery shopping. Oh, I also bought a new reusable bag as I noticed my favourite reusable bag is starting to tear at the seams. The new bag is made out of recycled plastic bottles, which I thought was neat. I do own quite a few fabric tote bags, but they're not as compact. Hopefully one day I'll find some fabric bags which are compact. I wasn't home until 4.30 pm, so I'd been at my errands for hours. I finally caved into buying donuts, so I had the pleasure of eating two of them after dinner. Thursdays are usually an exercise-day for me, but I felt a bit achy when I got home. I think my senses were overstimulated at the mall, because once I got home I was really sensitive to sounds, scents and movement of my head. So I decided to postpone my work out until tomorrow. I'm actually excited for it, which feels strange. I haven't done any school stuff today, and it hasn't really been on my mind either. It felt good, and it's probably been really great for me. But tomorrow I'm back at it again, so I wanna try to get into bed sooner than later. 

I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go

Hello, "you are enough" is basically a title of a Sleeping At Last song (surprise), that I enjoy very much (love the Light EP in general) and thought suited to the subject I am about to elaborate on. I was speaking with Kiwi about "Prosjekt Perfekt", and we spoke about the pressure of looking good, and just being "perfect" after this societies rules. And, like, if I were not critical at all, and I'd have listened to every tip and what's considered "beautiful" and "perfect" in this society, I'd surely gone mad. I've put quotation marks around the words beautiful and perfect, because the meaning of the words are individual. What lies within the words are up to every individual. I think I once wrote that-- no, just realised it was something I wrote in my drawing book and took a picture of, and maybe posted onto my blog? Anyway, it was: nothing is ugly until someone says so. Like, honestly, it's we who decide what's considered beautiful and ugly. And I think therefore we ought to be smart enough to remember not to listen to all these things. And just think that you are enough, basically. I told Kiwi, that if I could learn the world a lesson, it would be to accept themselves. No matter how much you want to be Angelina Jolie, you'll never become her. Sure, you can do plastic surgery and everything, but it won't make you Angelina Jolie. You can only be the best you can be. And that is enough. If anyone makes you feel that you constantly need to change yourself, they're not worth your time. Honestly. You'll be so much happier if you just accept yourself, is the thing. Also, expectations from society is something humans have made, so it's completely fine to "break the rules". Don't be how everyone says you have to be, be yourself. Like, I'm not going to defend Miley Cyrus for everything she's doing, but I don't hate her. I think it's nice to see her be free and do whatever she wants. I'm just afraid she's trying to live up to expectations about how all the Disney people go "bad". Which again, expectations of the society. Okay, enough with the pep talk (although I am serious about what I just wrote). I really, really, really want dungarees. I don't care if they look ill-fitting and are unflattering. I just love them so much, it's ridiculous. Also, I'd love a blue coat. Yesterday I was stood in front of my closet, trying to figure out what I should wear today, and I had one of those "I've got nothing to wear". Oh, and yesterday I couldn't find it in myself to start writing my paper, when I was unsure of how to begin. So, I flipped my bed over, rolled out the yoga mat, and put on some fitting music. Did a stretching routine, because I'm really not flexible, which I realised after being tested in my flexibility by Marble and Kiwi the other day. And seriously, it hurt. Then I proceeded to do some leg exercises, because it's been awhile since I've done them. This is when my sister (Monchita) opened the door and asked me what I was doing. In the midst of her story, and me doing exercises, she asked: "isn't that like really exhausting?". Anyway, she had apparently had a whole school day of exercising, which sounded really nice, to be honest. There is something really satisfying to completely wear your body out. Anyway, after she decided she was done with telling me her stories of the day, I then proceeded to do some core exercises, which killed me. But, honestly, there was a point where my breath was loud and every second and I just wanted to lie down (was currently doing the plank after some kind of jumping exercise-thing-y) and have a cry. This was at the end of everything, so when I was still panting a bit, I put on some relaxing music and meditated for a good five minutes. It was very calming, and I did the same thing when I woke up today. It's very calming, and I think I'm going to try to fit into my morning- and night routine everyday. Although, maybe not when I'm sleeping over at someone-- that might be a bit awkward. Anyway, I had school today, and it was probably the most awkward meeting thus far. Not only did I manage to say that "our teacher is always late" the second my teacher walked inside the room. But then we were finished before the meeting was scheduled to end, so my teacher went "is there something more you want to discuss", and no one answered. And like, she just sat there, saying "erm" and "hmm" and all the things she does when it's quiet. And I honestly think we sat like that for minutes before one of the other students in my group broke the silence and asked if we were done. Ha, it was just so awkward. Thus far my teacher has been very kind with everything, but she's really strict about deadlines, so the new paper is supposed to be done within two weeks. It's nice, though, because it means I'll have three weeks without having to worry about any papers to prepare for my exam. I'm just a bit worried about how I'll manage to get it all finished. But you know, what does Tim from Project Runway always say? Make it work! Oh goodness, imagine Tim Gunn coming inside your bedroom every hour to ask how it's going and then say "make it work". Like, I can just imagine it. Hilarious is what it is. Okay, now I seriously have to go to the loo (Kiwi's voice), and then start working on my paper. To summarise, be yourself (which means you have to accept yourself-- your flaws and everything, oooh, made me think of Bastille, and now I'm sad because I've not got a ticket to their show on Friday) and make things work. Solutions is the answer!

may these words be the first to find your ears

Here's the packaging for the perfume. I mean, if you squint a bit, it's not really that bad. But I still think they've chosen really bad candid's of the lads. Well, if you'd blown up Zayn's face on the whole packaging, I think it would be nice, because Zayn's face is always nice. Especially in the commercial for this perfume-- he looks so nice. The commercial itself takes the piss out of regular commercials for perfumes, and it's worth to give a look, so here's the link as well. Also, I've found that I really like the roses on the rest of the packaging, because they remind me of black/white rose tattoos, and that's not a bad association in my mind. And oh wow, their new album "Midnight Memories" is on pre-order, and it's got 18 songs? That's a bit more than I had expected. And now I'm strangely excited for their new music. I say strangely because I don't think I was excited for "Take Me Home" last year. Which again, I have to point out-- their album was out just 10 months ago. It just overwhelms me how quick paced the growth of One Direction is. Honestly this year I've gone to a concert, watched their film, bought their perfume, their book, and then it's their album coming out in November. To put it nicely, it's not economically wise to be a fan of One Direction. What I really do appreciate though, is that all the albums have been released in the month of November. It sort of gives a feeling of some stability within the One Direction craziness. When One Direction are on break, I have this weird urge to know where each member is. Not down to what city and whatever, but it's just nice to know which country they are located in. From what I know now, Liam, Zayn and Louis are in the UK. Harry is in America, and Niall is strangely in Australia. Well, they are continuing their Take Me Home tour in Australia in two weeks, but I can't get my head around why Niall is in Australia. And this is where I think to myself "what a loon you are. Why do you need to know that?". I think it would be a wise decision to quit One Direction. Think of how much time I would have left over. Anyway, I've been really lazy throughout my weekend. But it's Monday now, and my brother has left, so I'm going to get back into my study-mode. There's only 10 days left until the math exam. That's ridiculously worrying. And I still have the "regular" school work to finish as well. I think I forgot how little time I actually have during the weekend, because I've basically just been lazying around. Reading loads of fan fictions actually. Now as autumn is here, there's loads of good telly as well, so I might actually start regularly watching television for a change. The weather is fucking with my head, because it's September and it's supposed to be autumn. The leaves on the tree outside my window are falling to the ground and it's become a mixture of green, yellow and orange. But yesterday I was walking around in the garden with my shorts on. I'm not going to complain, because who knows how long the winter will last us, if the summer has decided to stay for this long. I'm currently listening to the EP: Atlas by Sleeping At Last, and I just can't get over how much I love their lyrics. It's like I fall in love with each song, regardless of the actual tune. I've actually fallen asleep to this EP on several occasions, because Sleeping At Last is usually nice and calming. I'm going to read some fan fiction, and then I'm defnitely going to do school work. Honestly, I am.