I don't want to close my eyes and fall asleep, cause everytime I do I'm only dreaming of you

The main two reasons for why I went to the mall today, was to try on and possibly buy a pair of winter-boots I saw the other day. I've been looking for new winter-boots for two winters now, but the kind of design I wanted seemed to go out of style. That being said, there's always been a few on the market. However, I'm really picky when it comes to shoes, so it's taken ages. I keep browsing shoes on different websites, and the other week I finally saw a pair that looked somewhat like something I could want. I went to the shop today, and I tried them on. I wouldn't say they're perfect, like the ones I've been dreaming of forever. But I cannot go on without proper winter-boots for more winters just because I can't find the perfect ones. Also, I did really like them. Only problem was that they couldn't actually find the shoes when they went to find them in their storage. They apologised, and offered to take my number so they could call when they eventually found them. I was half-way home when they called, so I'll go back to the mall later on. Anywho, the second reason for my visit to the mall today was to buy a box to go on my nightstand. You can barely see a peek of it in the first picture. I figured that even if it's not your traditional nightstand, I still wanted to find a nice way to incorporate space for storage without it taking too much space. I also bought a new interior magazine, finally, and a flower! I don't really know how to take care of it, how much to water it and all, but it's always nice with some greenery. I did also indulge in some sale-shopping, bought a very basic blouse which drapes really nicely on the bod due to the fabric (second picture). I like to think it was a good buy, however, I also bought a knit which is almost identical to another knit I have. To be fair, the one I bought now is the one I initially wanted. However, when I tried to find it in store, I could only find another similar one, which I've now owned for a few months. They're both grey. My wardrobe is basically black, grey, and blue (mostly navy blue). I would like to introduce some forest green coloured items to it, and maybe a dash of pink. Apart from buying things for myself, I also bought three gifts; for my brother, and my nephews. All in all, it's been a big day of shopping. Yesterday I had a small bag of crisps whilst I watched the handball game. It's actually the only game I've watched the whole of during this championship. I just find that I get so agitated whilst watching, so I kind of wanted to avoid it all together. But when the the Norwegian male handball team is making history by participating in the semi-final for the first time (and I wasn't at work), I wanted to watch it. I was dead on my feet yesterday, which Oyster commented when she saw me at work. It's been a tough weekend, and yesterday we didn't get a break, so I was really "hangry" when I got home. Went to bed around 11 pm, and was dead to the world until 8 am. It was an earlier start to what I'm used to on my days off. Gah, just remembered I put on a load of wash this morning. Must go hang the clothes up now. 

magnetic, you're pulling me in with the words you don't say

Years ago-- I can't remember when, or how I came across it, but I clicked on a link to this book on Amazon. And I decided to click on the cover, you know, how Amazon allows one to click on a book cover and read a few selected pages. In this case, I read the prologue of "I am not myself these days" by Josh Kilmer-Purcell. And like standing in the library and reading the first page of The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion, I was hooked. Reading the prologue was like reading a piece of crack. Not meaning actual drug, but as in this definition: "basically, crack is silly, intentionally non-serious, and has a high tendency to be extremely crazy and unfounded [...]. As in, so horrendously unfounded/silly that only one could have come up with it while under the influence of crack" (urban dictionary definitions are great). I enjoyed the book a lot, though the ending confused me. It feels different to anything else I've read by a published author, but still similar to things I enjoy reading. At times it's funny, hilarious, and then it's heartbreaking. You know how I rediscovered The Paper Kites the other day? Well, my favourite song off the newest album is called Too Late, and it's basically a depressing song about a kind of love which isn't supposed to be, and the book is kind of like that. It's a good read, and one of those few I think I'll remember years on. I woke up early today, my body has grown used to it, I think. The good thing is that I've had a longer day, and I remembered to eat my smoked salmon I picked up the other day. I cannot remember the last time I actually had smoked salmon for breakfast. I kinda wanted to stop by the store today, but it's been a dark and uninspiring day, which made everything look bleak. I also kinda want to see how my brothers apartment is turning out, as he's getting the bed and sofa delivered today. It's all coming together. Yesterday I had a good day, but I was very aggravated by the news of the world. Trump especially, because it seems like he's turning into a dictator, and is actually living up to the expectations of him being a total douche. I am super thankful I'm not an American right now. It seems like Trump is going to be one of the most regressive presidents ever, and it's infuriating to see that he's trying to ruin all the good work. Then there's Erdogan, the Turkish president, who I would deem as a dictator these days. I don't know if I'm biased, but I will always lean more against democracy. The ideology just seems the most sane, also, dictatorship has a big history of being very harmful, devastating. I don't think I have to mention names of dictators just to prove that. On a much happier note, I really enjoyed the newest Teen Wolf episode. It definitely pulled on my heartstrings, and it was produced by Tyler Posey, so I was kind of going "what a dick," in my head whilst crying. I am really curious to how the last episode of the first part is going to be. I have hopes for it, but they're tamed by the disappointment of the last previous episodes. 

sometimes we talk all night long, we don't shut up

Oh dear, I have bought things. The good thing is that I love all of the things I've bought. I realised some time ago that I haven't got any neutral-coloured scarves. I've got a lot of pink ones actually. I'd have to match my scarves with the different outfits I wore, and with mostly pink hues in my scarves, it didn't always work. So I decided to get a neutral one, and I went with a dark grey one. It's soft, not too big and keeps me warm. It's lovely. I bought the scarf yesterday, but went back to the mall today to buy a little bag (second picture). It's the one purchase which was kinda unnecessary. I say kinda, because I think I'll use it to my sister's wedding anyway. It's tiny, fits my phone and a few other things, and is more of a wallet attached to a strap. However, I spent a minute just looking at in Accessorize yesterday, and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I'm just in love with it, the sight of it charms me. The third picture is of my new nightstand. It is a coffee table really, but I'm using it as a nightstand because I wanted something "light". A regular nightstand would be too bulky with the other furniture in my small bedroom. With interior and loads of other things in life, you have to find a balance. I've been looking for a nightstand for weeks now, but until today I hadn't found one with the right size. This fits perfectly, and I'm in love with it too. I am very satisfied with my purchases, and that's a great way to feel. My brother's new place has great closet solutions-- I low-key want to fold his clothes and organise all of them into the closet. I spent like an hour or something watching organisation-videos on Youtube yesterday. I just really enjoy organising, it's ridiculous. Actually, I bought non-slip hangers today, so I've switched out my old hangers. I overestimated just how many I needed, although I counted before I bought them. I just forgot to think of the pieces I'd be getting rid of. My new pair of trousers arrived today, and they actually fit me. They're even a bit too tight around my thighs. Before this pair, all of the trousers I've tried on have been too big. Even when it should be my size. The pair I've ordered isn't perfect, but it's the closest to perfect I've ever tried, so I'm really chuffed with it. I went to get vaccinated today, a HPV-vaccine. After waiting the twenty minutes, I went back home and promptly exercised. It was good, felt good. My arm aches more now then what it did when I had just gotten the shot. My new book arrived the other day, and I think I'll spend the rest of the evening reading. All in all it's been a good day. 

You're always in my head, branding your fire on my lips. But this still won't work, no

Weekend is over in just a blink. I've gotten rid of my books, although not exactly as I had planned. The store was closed earlier than what they had stated, so I was stood outside of the store with two bags of books. People milled past me, as I stared at the dark store, feeling the cold in my toes. I had burgers with Oyster at the burger-place. I wasn't really that hungry and therefore it kind of disqualifies the taste test. Regardless, I still list it in my top three. It was actually so good I'd like to have a burger again ASAP. We sat there for three hours, when I think the average sitting-time is probably less than an hour. Saturday was spent in interior-stores-- I literally spent seven hours in them, 3-4 of which in IKEA. IKEA on a Saturday is best to be avoided at all costs. However, most people are working "nine to five", so they've got to go when they've got the weekend off. We started our visit with a meal, because there was no way I'd walk around with low blood sugar. It was funnily enough kinda nice to share a meal with my mum and brother at IKEA with children crying around us. My brother is luckily not too picky when it comes to interior, and I got the last word with quite a few decisions. So, although we were there for hours, we did actually get a load of stuff. Today I woke up with a need to shower in the morning (I normally shower in the evenings). My morning was kicked off with a depressing article about pension money. So I had a clean of my bedroom, because cleaning often makes my mind less noisy. I even did a bit of a de-clutter in my travel-toiletry-bag, as I have tended to just push all of my mini-sizes in it. It's inconvenient when I do travel, because I always tend to throw out 30% of the bag. I had a lot of excess energy, plus I have wanted to do a work-out this whole weekend. I did a mini-session before bed last night, but today I did an hour. It's always good when you feel it burning in your bod. Years ago, I fell in love with The Paper Kites-- their song Bloom will always be a favourite. A few days ago, a new music video of theirs popped up on the videos recommended for me via Youtube. They released a new album in 2015, and it's basically what I've been listening to today. It's surprising, because the sound is very different from the Bloom-days. I tend to fall in love with a certain CD by an artist. It's not often that I continue following their new releases. And I haven't with The Paper Kites either, not until now I guess. Their lyrics are still gold, even better, I guess. Discovering music is always such a lovely thing, or rediscovering. 

last night you were in my room and now my bedsheets smell like you

I am somehow exhausted despite having a pretty calm day at work. I suspect it might be the lack of sleep I had, but it doesn't really add up. I did feel really sore at the end of the day, due to exercising yesterday. But still. To my great joy, my skincare arrived today. It's perfect timing because I'm just about to use up my face oil. Scent is an important thing to me when it comes to skincare, so I tend to sniff things before I make the purchase. I ordered the new things online, which means I wasn't capable of doing that. It's definitely interesting-- probably will grow on me. Speaking of growers, yesterday I watched a dance choreography to Shape of You by Ed Sheeran, and it made me like the song a lot. Made me want to dance, obviously. I heard both of the new singles the day they were released, but to my confusion, I found that I didn't really like any of them. I did really enjoy the beat and chorus of Shape of You (and the oh-i-oh-i-oh-i part) when I first heard it. It's just the verses I wasn't so fond of. I've tried listening to the other single multiple times, but it's just not my cup of tea. To be fair, I think I'll be bored with the one I do enjoy quickly. That being said, I'm very excited to listen to the whole album. I'm looking forward to this music year. Bad news is Obama(s) stepping down. I just get gobsmacked sometimes, thinking of how much of a difference he has achieved. Also, Michelle-- what a lady! Both of them seem to be some of the coolest people. Tomorrow might shape out to be a busy day. I have a feeling my legs will be quite sore at the end of the day. I'll be bringing my two bags of books to donate them. Then I'll probably be helping my brother move, whatever that entails (I'm excited). And I'm going to taste a supposedly great burger-- according to Oyster, who tipped me about it. We shall see if it'll end up in my top 4. 

you stick around and I just don't know why

Dreams have been weird lately. I dreamt about burning to death a few weeks ago-- screaming at the pain of my skin slowly burning. I had to check the window when I awoke, just in case it was burning. Yesterday I dreamt of a person close to me drowning in a stupid accident caused by idiots. We tried our best at reviving her, and at a point it seemed like she was halfway alive, halfway dead. Morbid, I know. I tend to define the day by the light, which makes the days quite short nowadays. And I need to get things done before the light is gone, because then it feels like such an effort. I had planned today's itinerary to the t, however plans change. My dad drove me to get rid of more bags of clothing, then we headed to the grocery store. Out with the old, and in with the new. I mentioned a new jacket the other day-- it arrived today. It's darker than what it appears like in my pictures, and it's got a raw peplum hem. It's oversized on me, only comes in two sizes I think. I'd rather it be oversized, than tiny. It says it's a shirt, and the material is thin. I will be wearing it as a jacket though. Did I mention it's vintage? I think it's supercool, probably the coolest piece I own in my wardrobe. It's satisfying to be really happy with a purchase. The newest episode of Teen Wolf is yet again one of those I don't really enjoy, but I'm patient. I'm guessing it's one of those episodes that has to happen for the story to evolve. I'm looking forward to the next episode though, because things got exciting at the end. But then again, this first story-arch is done in two episodes, which is frightening. Because then we have to wait however many months until part two. I hadn't exercised in two weeks until today. I did a long session today, and I spent some time on my abs. I've not focused on them in months, they've been in hibernation. Apart from "being nicer to myself," I didn't set any New Years resolutions. I do, however want to be better at exercising regularly. I'd like the same dedication to eating chocolate only on Saturdays to this goal too. We'll see. I thought I was done with getting shots (vaccinations), but I'm getting another one next week. I also need to book an appointment with my doctor. It's all a part of another focus this year: my health. I tend to neglect it.  

your Volvo lights lit up green and white, with the cities on the signs

Yesterday was a productive Monday. Before 1 pm, I'd cleaned and hooved the house basically. I had done the dishes, put a load of wash in the washer, then hung it up. I prefer cleaning when no one is in the way, alas; when I'm alone. Today, however, I didn't get out of bed until late, and I've basically been sat in the sofa, watching television. I think it's the natural way of living-- at least for me. I've got days I am highly productive, and then I need a day off. I need to go to the shops, but I've been putting it off. That being said, I have just finished going through the closet in the hall. I've gotten rid of six grocery bags already, and I filled six more this evening. If I can be bothered, I'll take some of the bags to donate tomorrow. I could probably get rid of more pieces, but some of them aren't mine. I do want to get rid of the dress I wore to my sister's wedding, purely because I cannot breathe whilst wearing it. It's such a nice dress though-- I feel like I should either give it away (do I know someone with a smaller rib-cage than me?) or try to sell it. The latter sounds like such a hassle. Hm, I'll have to have a think of it. It's kind of strange, because I'm itching to spend money on something. Maybe it's not so strange when I've gotten rid of so many things? I ordered a pair of trousers hours ago. I found a pair the other week, and it looked like my dream pair. Obviously my size wasn't in stock wherever I looked for them. And I have been waiting to see if they would re-stock them (they still haven't). However, I found a cropped version, which I am crossing my fingers will be fine. I guess I'll just have to wait and see then. I wouldn't really ever order jeans or trousers online, unless I know my size in the certain model, but they just look like they could be the one. And sometimes it pays off taking chances. I am feeling the January blues, and all pictures of tanned skin and sunshine makes me either long for those days, or highly jealous and therefore aggravated. Inspiration is lacking these days, and I feel a bit meh. In other words, I am highly looking forward to spring. 

when you left this town, with your windows down and the wilderness inside

The youngest sister has gone home, and I'm slightly surprised by my sadness. Actually, it feels like I've just had a delayed reaction, like it came now in January, instead of August when she actually moved out. I do remember feeling likewise when my brother went off to another part of the country to attend school. Although we're not exactly chatty siblings, not verbally communicative siblings, we're still a close group. I love them all dearly, and I'm grateful to have grown up with them around me. My brother will be moving to his new apartment soon too, and I'll be the remaining kid in the house. I'm not the most sociable person there is, in fact I'd say I'm the opposite. However, I realise now, that maybe I've just been used to not shouting loud enough in a flock of siblings. I've grown used to the feeling of people around me at all times, and I'm not at all looking forward to getting used to the emptiness. My moroseness has been helped further by reading Watermelon by Marian Keyes, I think. It's one of the books I decided to get rid of the other day, not because I don't like it. But because the one I had was in Norwegian. If I can, I always prefer to pick up a book in the original language, especially with UK-authors. The language is different somehow, there's tonnes of slang which I find you miss out of when you read a translated book. Anywho, Marian Keyes have a few books written within the same family-- The Walsh sisters. The Watermelon is about Claire Walsh, who I believe is the oldest? And although my family isn't as crazy as the Walsh family, I most definitely relate to it. I read the whole book today, the same day as my sister left. So it left me feeling a bit morose. Yesterday, I dragged Monchita along to carry bags of clothes for donation. Admittedly I didn't drag her along, only asked if she'd come along. And to her regret, she said yes. It was heavy lifting, and we both felt a bit like our arms had fallen off when we finally arrived. To be fair, the clothes that went for donation is 50% mine, 50% hers. So surely it was only fair to bring her along. Afterwards, she coughed her way home for a cuppa. I, however, went to take the bus to IKEA. Was in and out in 30 minutes, managed to hear a few couples argue. You know, the usual. I stopped by the library to pick up the Watermelon in english, before I ventured home and promptly cleaned my room. Then I sorted out my old storage boxes, and exchanged them with the new ones from IKEA. The white ones (picture numero two) are quite big, which makes for a lot more storage. I've got three of them, and in one there's all of my mugs and glasses. It is genuinely filled up, and I even got rid of a few. In another box is all of my "nice" shoes. The last box is a miscellaneous one, which I'm not entirely satisfied with. The boxes are a bit taller then the previous ones, so I can clearly see them. At the moment they feel a bit ominous, but I'm sure with time I'll forget about their existence. I sat down to chill a bit after I was done with organising, and then my sister came a' knocking. I got dressed, and off we went to the Oyster and Mars. It was suspiciously clean, and I was half a mind to ask why they'd cleaned when it was just us. However, they were actually getting "real" visitors, so I didn't ask. Oyster baked my mother's favourite pastry, and we played guessing games. It was kind of hilarious. We ended up in the basement, watching a movie, after we'd taken enough selfies and shared memes with each other. My battery was at 1% when we left the house, and saw a car take off like they were a part of a drag-race. Although it was a beautiful car and all, I thought the whole thing was tacky as hell. My phone died once I got home, and I left it until an hour ago now. It's nice to shut off from the world completely sometimes. It turns out that my lone visit to Lynx won't be so lone no more. She's planning to hold Volla's hen party the weekend I'm there, so Monchita also bought tickets for that weekend. The sisters will be reunited, I guess. I've been a part of surprising Volla once before, and it was lovely. Hopefully it'll be something along the lines this time around too. 

I just don't know what to do, my head has such a cloudy view. I'm so tired of trying

Hello, hello. Finally picked up my packages, which included this bobble-hat (all my hats are either gone, or Monchita has taken them) and my favourite face moisturiser. I cannot tell you my feeling of satisfaction when I put on my moisturiser after two weeks with an okay replacement. I indulged a bit in skincare yesterday, put in an order for a face oil I've never tried. Mind you, I've only tried one, which is the one I'm currently using. And while I like it plenty (kept my skin nice and moisturised throughout this winter), I'm open to try new things too. I don't mind spending a bit more money on skincare-- you're only gonna have this face once. And I always think of my skincare routine as a part of my self-care. I finally finished Lyrebird by Cecelia Ahern the other day. I picked it up before bed, and all of the sudden it was 2 am. I was halfway through, and decided to stop. I used to read through the nights before, however if I were to do that now, it takes me a bit longer to get back to my normal circadian rythm. It's one of the greatest things about youth, I think-- the ability to bounce back so quickly. The book seemed really intriguing when I first read the summary, and my head made an image of what it'd be like. It's pretty safe to say it wasn't at all like I had expected. It brought me a lot of emotions, a lot of anger (oh I have plenty of anger within me)-- however, I found that I didn't love it. I wanted so badly to fall in love with it, fall in love with a book, like I haven't in ages. I've ordered a new book, it's been on my list forever. I don't think it'll be like anything I've ever read before, and I'm really looking forward to it. If I could find it at my local library, I would preferably just borrowed it from there. But it's not. Yesterday Monchita and I bumped into Mars and the family whilst standing in line at the sushi-place (there is admittedly three sushi-places here, but this certain one is the one I frequently visit). It was a funny coincidence, because I'd just called Oyster to ask if they were home. We joined them for sushi, and just caught up. Not sure how long it's been since Monchita have seen them, but I know it's pretty long. I've just ordered planetickets, and Lynx just facetimed me. Apparently my oldest nephew is quite excited, though he's kind of acting too cool for it. It's hilarious. I'm planning to be a bit more productive tomorrow. I'll be getting rid of the excess clothing, haven't been able and/or been too lazy to actually go donate it. I'll have to do the same with my books another day, because those have to be delivered in the shop. I might go to IKEA tomorrow for storage boxes. It's just very little tempting to do all of these things. However, it'll be so good once I'm done. I have a feeling I'll either be really productive tomorrow, or not at all. 

my attention's on you, even if it's not what you need

Jeg elsker når skyene lager et show på himmelen, og jeg blir usikker på om jeg ser på naturen eller et maleri. Tok ti bilder av omtrent det samme, men sånn er det når du prøver å kapre et vakkert syn som egentlig ikke kan kapres med annet enn øyet. Jeg stod opp tidligere i dag enn forventet, men det var like greit. I dag er dessverre en sånn dag hvor lyset aldri kommer seg frem, og været er ganske dritt. Det ligger egentlig et par pakker og venter på å bli hentet, men jeg nektet å gå utenfor eiendommen i dette været hvis jeg ikke måtte. I en av boksene skal det være et par sko som jeg håper passer og er slik jeg har sett for meg. Sko er også en fallgruve for meg, og jeg er nødt til å bli strengere på den fronten. Akkurat nå er det en kjole jeg har veldig lyst til å klikke hjem, men jeg er ganske bestemt på å ikke kjøpe noen kjole dersom jeg ikke har en grunn til kjolen. Dessverre klikket jeg hjem en jakke i stedet. Det skal sies at jeg har sett på den bestemte jakken i måneder nå, og at jeg håper den kan fungere som en ny versjon av en av mine mest elskede jakker. I morgen er det lønningsdag, og da håper jeg inderlig på at mitt førsteinstinkt ikke er å kaste bort penger. Dagen har egentlig blitt brukt på å få orden i hverdagslige ting som jeg ikke har fått gjort før nå. Skittentøyskurven var overfylt på morgenen, så det var min førsteprioritet. Fikk Monchita til å vaske litt i stuen, hun som skal reise på søndagen. Det er ganske forvirrende i hodet med tanke på at hjernen min gradvis prøver å bli vant til at hun ikke bor i dette huset. Også er det broderen da, som skal overta leilighet snart. Gleder meg veldig til å se hvordan det ser ut. Den nye episoden av Teen Wolf var noe skuffende-- foruten et par scener, så var det mye jeg ikke likte. Og det er ganske kjipt når jeg synes alle de andre har vært veldig spennende hittil. Åh vel. 

seen you from afar, wondered who you are

Det føles ut som om jeg har ryddet, kastet og organisert i alle eiendeler jeg har denne helgen. Har ihvertfall blitt kvitt mye unødvendige ting som bare har ligget og samlet støv. Det begynner å se bra ut, bare jeg slutter å kjøpe flere kjoler enn jeg trenger nå. Jeg er en kåpe-elsker, men jeg har i det minste viljestyrken til å begrense meg. Den er tydeligvis ikke-eksisterende når det gjelder kjoler. Våknet noe tidlig i dag, så det må bety at jeg er uthvilt. Jeg har rent sengetøy og et rent soverom. Jeg er nydusjet etter en treningsøkt, så jeg gleder meg til å legge meg i sengen. I går kveld leste jeg igjennom innleggene jeg skrev da jeg var på Indochina-reisen. Det var ganske artig, ettersom det nesten har gått i glemmeboken at jeg skrev noe særlig da. Er evig takknemlig for at jeg faktisk dokumenterte turen med ord og bilder. Og i går så kjente jeg virkelig lengsel tilbake til de to månedene. Det har antakeligvis noe med det kalde været for tiden. Januar er som regel en litt sånn mørk måned, hvor jeg helst vil at vinteren skal slutte. Men samtidig så vil jeg ikke endre på denne traurige tiden. Det skal sies at det dagdrømmes og drømmes om solstråler og basseng. I kveld har jeg sett litt på interiør-relaterte ting, og det lages ideèr inne i hjernen min for tiden. Å lakke tånegler har jeg ikke rukket denne gangen, men det skal forbli en prioritet, så fort jobb er ferdig for uken. Da er det mye som står på agendaen. 

I tried to buy your pretty heart, but the price too high

I dag har jeg bokstavelig talt kastet bort penger. Jeg våknet etter å ha sovet i ti strake timer, spiste en sen frokost som bestod av frokostblanding. Jeg så på videoer av folk som pakket i packing cubes, så jeg ble selvfølgelig inspirert til å organisere selv. Så jeg bestemte meg for å organisere oppbevaringsboksene jeg har over garderobeskapet. Har en minneboks hvor jeg har samlet opp masse sentimentale ting over årene, derav den avbildede bamsen. Den fikk bli, for jeg har gått igjennom flere opprydninger i den boksen, og den har alltids blitt igjen. Men jeg var ganske brutal med alt annet. Hadde en liten boks i den store boksen med gamle utgåtte mynter, og mynter fra verden rundt. Noen av de er selvfølgelig gyldige, men når skal jeg tilbake til Frankrike igjen? Eller Hong Kong? Orket ikke å sitte med en haug småmynter, så det gikk i søpla, selv om jeg får dårlig samvittighet for å kaste bort penger. Har faktisk kvittet meg med to bokser, og nå vil jeg egentlig kjøpe nye oppbevaringsbokser for å skape et mer uniformt utseende. Problemet er at jeg ikke finner noen jeg liker i den størrelsen jeg ønsker. Uansett er det ikke min største prioritet akkurat nå. Neste opprydningsprosjekt er vel bøkene mine. Apropos bøker-- jeg har enda ikke lest Lyrebird av Cecelia Ahern. Den ligger og ser fin ut, og dog jeg synes den virker spennende ut, så har jeg ikke klart å faktisk sette meg ned og begynne. Herregud, i går fant jeg drømmesofaen min. Har sett etter en sånn spesifikk sofa forever, og nå fant jeg den. Nå tror jeg faktisk at jeg skal begynne på middag, og forhåpentligvis får jeg tid til å lakke tåneglene i dag. Har fått i meg èn belgisk trøffel, og det kjennes egentlig nok ut. 

let winter break, let it burn 'til I see you again

Jeg er sliten. Beina verker, det er en stress-kvise på vei, og de psykiske aspektene ved PMS skyter i taket. Jeg hadde en greiere vakt i dag, men det har så lite å si når de to forrige har vært forferdelige. Jeg har kommet hjem med røde ringer rundt øynene hver dag nå, synes jeg. Har ikke grått på jobb, og ikke hjemme heller. Men i dag kjente jeg at i det jeg kom hjem, så ville jeg bare gråte av hvor sliten jeg føler meg. Jeg har dusjet, spist og nå er jeg på min andre kopp te. Resten av kvelden skal brukes til å slappe av, og jeg kjenner jeg gleder meg til å sove. Har hatt lyst til å lakke tåneglene, men det får i såfall vente til morgendagen. Da håper jeg også at jeg husker å spise litt sjokolade. Siden jeg ikke jobber fast, så planlegges livet mitt sånn måned for måned. Vet liksom ikke helt hva som skal skje, og jeg kjenner at jeg egentlig trives veldig med det akkurat nå. Det er det jeg skrev i nyttårsinnlegget mitt: jeg lever faktisk drømmen akkurat nå. Jeg har akkurat planlagt reise til Lynx og co. neste måned. Også er det årets reise da, funderer over hvor jeg skal dra i år. 

you are the only thing I've ever truly known

Jeg har gruet meg til i dag fordi jeg visste jobb ville være slitsomt. Det er en slags sykdomsbølge for tiden, så pågangen er stor. Jeg sov ikke så lenge i natt, men tror ikke det hadde så mye å si for i dag. Det var slitsomt på en måte hvor vi endte opp med røde ringer rundt øynene på slutten av vakten (det så genuint ut som om jeg hadde grått), og helst skulle lagt oss ned ASAP. Det er en sånn vakt hvor det føles ut som om du må legge deg rett etter jobb for å jobbe deg inn til morgendagen. Snøen dalte ned, sammen med temperaturen. Var lite fristende å gå ut på morgenkvisten i dag. Gikk en tur innom kjøpesenteret etter jobb for å kjøpe dagligvarer. Kjøpte ingredienser til retten Marble lagde på nyttårsaften (måtte le litt, da jeg ringte henne for å spørre om hvilken type pulled pork hun hadde brukt. Det var nemlig Sugar som hadde etterspurt oppskriften i utgangspunktet, men jeg valgte å slenge meg på), også gikk jeg for å se om ansiktskremen min endelig var i butikk. Det var den altså ikke, så dette er mitt femte og siste forsøk. Har akkurat bestilt den i håp om at den sendes relativt raskt, dog jeg tviler. Har bestilt flere skjønnhetsprodukter som det kalles-- foruten èn ting, så er det ting jeg har gått tom for og bruker fast. Eneste nye tingen jeg har valgt å prøve er en korreksjons-concealer. Jeg har i bunn og grunn aldri brukt concealer fordi jeg ikke liker den tunge følelsen av sminke. (Til tross for at sirklene under øynene gjør at jeg ser ut som om jeg har sovet dårlig hver dag). Så sist jeg prøvde en ny concealer er flere år siden, og det er den eneste jeg eier per dags dato. Teen Wolf's siste episode avsluttet på en måte som gjorde at jeg hadde lyst til å kaste noe. Deler av episoden hører hjemme i en skrekkfilm synes jeg. Det er veldig spennende for tiden, og jeg kjenner at jeg nesten begynner å grue meg til å skjønne ting, få vite hva som skjer. For det må jo bety at jeg nærmer meg slutten. Og dette er faktisk slutten av Teen Wolf. Huff. Jeg så en video av Vanessa Hudgens og Ashley Tisdale synge ilag, og som noen av kommentarene nevner, så drar det meg tilbake til HSM-dagene. Harmoniene deres er veldig gode, og det er faktisk ganske behagelig å høre på de sammen. Nå skal jeg faktisk snart legge meg. Natta. 

I'll never look back, just hold your head up. And if it gets rough, it's time to get rough

This is what's left of my make-up, enough for me to have options, but also not enough for me to feel too heavy. Admittedly, I do have some lip-products spread around in different purses. Regardless I'm really pleased with myself, also very pleased by the easy organisation. The satisfaction of organising things is good. For the most part I would say I am a very organised person, but I also think that alike Monica from Friends, we all have that really messy closet. Meaning you cannot be completely organised in life, because life is anything but organised. It's messy, confusing and hard. It's complicated, there's no shoving life into different compartments and putting a lid on them. But surely, if your surroundings are more organised, you're more equipped to deal with life. For that reason, I always try to keep my surroundings as clean as possible. I read a quote from a book called Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur: "How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you". I think most people could do with some more self-love. Kiwi pointed out the book to me on our travels, recommended it for me. I chose to purchase other poetry instead, but for that quote I might just buy it. That being said, I've actually not got enough space for my books. I need to do a clear-out for my books too, which is something I never thought I needed to do. I just don't want to own something just to own it-- I want to love it. Speaking of luuuuurve, I am loving the sky at this very moment. It truly is gorgeous. The postman just arrived, and I'm hoping there will be a package with pictures in it. I'm going to grab something to eat, then try to have a good exercise-session. 

you don't need a lonely night, so baby, I can make it right

Both Lumba and Monchita has left on trips, meaning I'm the only child in the house. It feels especially empty since we spent yesterday lounging on the sofa whilst my parents were absent. We watched Monserts University and Frozen. Then we played cards, and my brother was finally defeated after being undefeated for four rounds. I woke up around 9 am (by my alarm), snoozed, then refused to leave my bed for hours. Today has kind of been my second day of laziness. That being said, I spent yesterday cleaning up most of the Christmas decorations. Already? Yes, this year it felt right to remove them early, to start afresh. Changed a few pillowcases, and now it looks like Christmas was never here. I have kept my trees in my bedroom-window. I think they'll probably stay because I love them so much. My most used make-up brushes has been washed, and I've gone through my make-up drawer. I did minimise it a few months back, however, I still found that I used about 15% of what I owned. I love the idea of make-up, I just loathe the feeling of make-up on myself. So I did a big clear-out this time, was even more vicious, and got rid of probably 70% of my make-up. Obviously, I've been doing clear-outs for a long time, not just because it's a new year. It's more about feeling lighter, getting rid of things I don't use or need. Volla asked me some time ago, where my next travel destination would be, and I've had more people ask me similar questions. It's been on my mind, I guess, and I keep checking places out. One thing I do know, is that I'll probably be on a plane to Lynx and co. pretty soon. I really want to chop my hair off (not all of it). Although I really enjoy having my hair in a bun to keep the hair away, I mostly enjoy having short hair. I should probably see my sister before she's too big. We facetimed with them just now, and my youngest nephew has started to talk a lot, and it's just so adorable. I'm really looking forward to see how the dynamics shift within the family when the newest addition come. This week means Teen Wolf, and also, work. Also, pretty sure my period is coming around. And I've still not gotten my regular face moisturiser, seeing as it was bloody sold out in four shops when I last tried to purchase it. I'll probably try again tomorrow, but I'm not expecting anything really. 

just a simple touch and it can set you free

Jeg kom hjem rundt midnatt natt til nyttårsaften, også la jeg meg ikke før klokken to på natta. Stod likevel opp relativt tidlig for å ha tid til alt jeg skulle gjøre på selve nyttårsaften. Så da jeg våknet var jeg egentlig ganske ferdig allerede. Møtte naboene i matbutikken mens jeg stod og ventet på at Marble skulle bli ferdig, og jeg var ikke med i det hele tatt. Ville vanligvis slått av en prat, men jeg klarte såvidt å si "hei" og "godt nyttår". Jeg reiste hjem igjen, trente, dusjet, gjorde meg klar, spiste en matbit. Også var jeg ute av døren, retning mot Marble. Jeg lagde salat mens hun gjorde seg klar, også begynte vi å lage maten mens vi ventet på Sugar. Hun kom kjørende etterhvert, også satte vi oss tilbords. Vi spiste oss mette på pasta og tilslørte bondepiker. Jeg dro på meg den tettsittende kjolen, også dro vi avgårde. Vi skulle på innflytningsfest/nyttårsfest til ei som jeg har møtt igjennom min belieber friend, og som jeg har møtt to ganger. Vi ankom en relativt full leilighet, også hilste jeg på tre personer rett inni gangen. Hilste på en til da jeg omsider hadde fått av meg ytterklær, og jeg trodde selvfølgelig at jeg hadde hilst på personen allerede. Om jeg ikke konsentrerer meg, så kan jeg hilse på tjue folk og huske ca. to navn. Det var hvertfall det som skjedde. Min belieber friend kom innom, og det var et hyggelig gjensyn, dog jeg hadde sett henne for et døgn siden. Jeg rullerte veldig på sitteplasser, og jeg tror jeg omtrent har sittet på alle stedene det gikk å sitte innen natta var omme. Selve nyttår startet inne på do, men vi løp inn i heisen og latet som om det ikke hadde skjedd ennå. Vi gikk nemlig opp på takterrassen, hvor vi så på noe av fyrverkeriet. Det var selvfølgelig veldig tåkete, så det ble ikke så veldig god sikt. Uansett, takterassen var fylt med mennesker, og stemningen var god. Omsider gikk vi tilbake til leiligheten, min belieber friend reiste, og vi gikk inn igjen i stua. Jeg spilte halvveis "Never have I", diskuterte idioter, pratet med ukjente og med kjente. Og plutselig var klokken tre, og vi reiste avgårde på en stappfull nattbuss, før vi skulle ta neste nattbuss. Den var selvfølgelig en halvtime forsinket, og vi var lei. Vi var ikke hjemme før klokken fem, også satte vi oss med pasta og en kopp te. Jeg sovnet rundt klokken seks, også våknet jeg klokken ett. Jeg gjorde et bevisst valg ved å hovedsakelig drikke øl (dog det ble veldig mye øl) for å unngå en dårlig dag i dag. Det fungerte bra, men det betyr ikke at jeg ikke er utrolig sliten. Sugar kjørte meg hjem, og hittil har jeg ryddet rommet og spist mat. Forhåpentligvis havner jeg i en god døgnrytme igjen. Selv om det føles ut som om det verken har vært jul eller nyttår, så hadde jeg en utrolig bra kveld i går. Omgikk mange nye mennesker, men jeg var også med de gamle gode og kjente. Liker å tro at det er et symbol på det nye året.