when a good thing goes bad it's not the end of the world

Guys, I just spilled cold tea on my face. Go to cleverwaystospillyourtea.com for more information. I'm joking, but god, my teabag sort of flopped down on the liquid, making a big wave that splashed my mouth-area and neck. I was like "err, did that just happen? Oh well, I think green tea is supposed to be good for your skin, so surely it's fine drenching my face with tea too?". I'm going to delete quite a few pictures from my "summer" folder, and these are a few random snapshots I've taken throughout this summer but that's not been on this blog. At least I think so. I'm still freaking about the days passing too fast. I mean, I woke up today and thought "oh god, it's already Wednesday". To me Wednesday means it's basically Thursday in a blink of an eye, which means it's soon Friday, which means it's the weekend already. Plus; even the green trees seems a bit more dull. I'm not ready for autumn yet. I have a feeling that the weather is going to be shit when I go to Aalesund. But the weather always seems to be shit there. I just hope the sun will peak out at least a few times. It's just my luck if there will be a rainstorm. My sister just came inside my room, as she does from time to time. Usually she'll say something, though. This time, however, I had to say "err, hi, what are you doing in 'ere?". She just shrugged, and peered outside the window from my bed (she never let's me in her bed that bastard). "I was just seeking human comfort". I laughed, because, well-- what was I supposed to say? We spoke for quite a while actually, and it was nice. I forget sometimes that we live in the same house, because she's mostly preoccupied in her own bedroom, and I'm here in my own bedroom. Anyway, for this year of "take-my-sister-to-the-cinema-tradition" we're going to see the new Monstersuniversity. Maybe my broseph wants to join. I'll ask him. I've decided to be really lazy today, and I'm just going to lie in my bed after this. I almost fell asleep at the trampoline, but I was startled awake by my mum. And it was probably for the best, because I was just in my shorts and hoodie, and in this weather it probably wasn't all that suitable. But I've been wearing shorts for the last month(s), and I just can't get myself to wear jeans. It feels odd. Tomorrow I'm stopping by Oyster's to taste a muffin. If she's not eaten them all, that is. Also, I'm probably not just going to taste the muffin and then go home. Ha. Oh my jonas, almost forgot-- holy shit, I saw Nick Jonas' new picture on Instagram last night (link here) and I think I mumbled to myself: "errr, eh, what? oh my god, what is happening? holy shit. omg omg omg, shit". By reading the captions on Twitter I thought he'd post a picture of his biceps or something, not a shirtless picture. Right, no more talking about it now. I-- wow, erm. My horoscope for the day says that my emotions aren't as containable as usual. "It might even feel like a monkey wrench is suddenly being thrown into the works". Well, alright, that's interesting. 

home is just a word without a time or place

Ah, back to unhealthy habits: chocolate biscuits and IceTea whilst listening to Gabrielle Aplin on the BBC breakfast radio with Grimmy. I'm still sad about the John Mayer concert tickets. I'm just hoping there will be extra tickets or something. I saw possibly the biggest spider I've ever seen (apart from those people have as pets) at work today. I was just about to wash a sink when I saw the spider crawling from the corner of my eye. My first reaction wasn't to scream or run away. Nope, it was to take a picture. Sometimes I like to torture my belieber friend and Kiwi by sending them pictures of spiders, because they both hate spiders. I know I'm cruel. This was really big though, so I might spare them the fright. For some reason I cannot squish bugs (except for stupid mosquitoes. Hate them). It's just the most disgusting feeling, innit? I managed to flush the spider in the loo. My day was pretty good today, despite the sad weather. I spotted two kids wearing "Gangnam Style" t-shirts, a kid singing Baby by Justin Bieber, and the most precious thing I ever did see happened. Alright so maybe not the most precious thing, but it's definitely top 15. The kindergarten I work in is divided into different sections, and in one of them there's a lot of kids with disabilities that needs a bit of extra care. But they're blended with "normal" kids (I'm not aiming to offend anyone, because who are to define what "normal" is). And today there was this kid who's about five, and he hugged this other kid with down syndrome who's about three, and said "huuuuugggs!". My heart swelled. It was just so precious. But by lunch my phone died on me and I genuinely thought it was dead forever. And it put a damper on my whole day, despite everything that prior to this happening had made my day great. And I really wanted it to pour down with rain when I was cycling home in my shorts. But it only rained a bit. My phone hasn't gone to phone-heaven just yet. I just think it had a phone-heart attack. Oh my god I must have gotten bad spider-karma, because there was a spider crawling on my wall just now. And when I tried removing it with a paper, it fell on my bed. And I screeched, because my poor bed. I managed to toss it out the window though, so everything's alright. Sugar and Marble says I've become a spider magnet. Marble says it's a positive thing. This is live from our Facebook conversation just now, as Sugar and Marble are currently in Greece. I was just thinking about my elder sister, and I thought "oh it feels like a week since I've seen her". You know how sometimes things seems so much longer than reality. Well, I counted down the days, and it actually has been about a week. For each day that goes by, I feel a bit more glum. The leaves on the trees are starting to get yellow. I actually had a little crisis at work because I was washing the window when I spotted a tree with yellow leaves, and I was like "noooooooooo, please don't come yet autumn". Anyway, I'm having a bit of hard time reading My Favourite Wife by Tony Parsons because I so badly want to read what happens after Man and Boy. I just really hope the books will arrive soon. Err, update on the Facebook conversation-- Sugar reckons I should become a ghost or a demon, whereas Marble says I should want to be able to attract snakes. I hope the sun isn't making them delirious. Just informed them that I'm using the conversation in my blogpost, and Sugar refused because she wanted to stay anonymous. So, scratch her name. It's Marble and Esmeralda. Now they're trying synchronized Facebook chatting. Alright, I actually have to go and do some reading. Or something productive.  

the voice of a thousand whispers with answers I can't find

There is something about white duvet covers that reminds me of living in a big white loft or sleeping a hotel bed. My legs looks really tanned against the white, but they're really not. Also, yes I've got white nail varnish on my toes. It turns out that I don't own any nude or "safe" colour for my nails, apart from "Sand Tropez" by Essie. As with my very diverse music taste, I have really diverse dreams too. I dream of becoming a midwife, but I also dream of working in an office typing away documents. I dream of living in a little cottage filled with personal objects everywhere, showing off my life. But I also dream of living in a completely white loft with a madrass on the floor covered in white sheets and duvets beneath a wall painted with the world map in black and white. Yesterday I made myself a really lovely salad. I didn't realise I was a salad-person, actually I didn't realise I was a healthy-person. But instead of snacking on chocolate crackers, I've been snacking on pistachio nuts. It actually freaks me out a bit, when I develop healthy habits, because I feel like I'm losing a bit of my identity as the one who loves unhealthy stuff. Which I do realise sounds ridiculous, but it does feel a bit odd to have quit soda and sweets (except chocolate of course) for ages. It turns out that Man and Boy not only have a sequel, but it's a third book too! I've ordered them both, and I hope they'll come in the mail before I go to Aalesund. In the meantime I'll read My Favourite Wife. It appears that this Tony Parsons guy happens to be a journalist, so it was a funny coincidence to see his name on the new covers of GQ with One Direction on them. I'm not quite sure what I think of the under text on the covers.. seems like GQ are definitely trying to provoke interest in readers. Hopefully the journalist has been professional, and not mis-quoted the lads, as so many journalists seem to do these days. And don't you hate journalists that hasn't done their research? Anyway, there's this little kid in the kindergarten I speak to from time to time. He's about five, I think. And today he greeted me with a nod (seriously, he nodded at me) "washing woman". And I smiled politely back, before he went inside another room. Seconds later, though, he came back. "Erm, I meant washing girl". It made me laugh, because of course, not even a five year old sees me as a woman. Great new. I've been listening to Start Again by Gabrielle Aplin all day, and it's so incredibly pretty. I'm still sad about the John Mayer concert tickets. But Kiwi has apparently bought me a One Direction cup, which will be a nice addition to my collection of cups. I will admit that I do still miss the Coca Cola glass I got from Ale. I'll have to try finding a replacement. It's just not the same without it. Oh, my really complicated life, eh? Ha-ha. By the way, isn't Kiwi the best? I always feel so lucky to have my friends - they are incredible. Despite it being a Monday, it was a really nice day today. I woke up feeling tired as usual, but the weather was lovely except for the wind. And there's nothing like it when cars stop for you at pedestrian crossings. And genuine smiles and hellos from people you see every day. And when people hold the door for you. Or when you don't die in the traffic because of your reckless biking. It's just those little things that reminds me that yeah, I've got it good. I'm a bit sad that it's only ten days left of my summer job, no it's nine actually. I just really don't want to go back to school. It's like I feel exhausted already, and I've nearly not thought about school at all. I know it's not that bad at all, but I just really despise all the stress that comes along with school. Anyway, I'm heading to my rather white bed now. Need to get a bit of sleep, because I did feel rather tired today. 

man and boy

Harry Silver has it all: a beautiful wife, a wonderful son, a great job in the media - but in one night he throws it all away. Then Harry must start to learn what life and love are really all about. 

If I count up, I spent approximately seven hours on reading this 344 pages long book. I'm surprised, a bit taken back if you will. I saw the cover of this book and read the plot. It didn't spark that much of an interest in me, but I read the first paragraph of chapter one, and I was almost hooked. Usually I'd leave it behind, because I don't really like reading books about cheating. Call me a naive girl (or, well, maybe woman since I've turned 20) that likes happiness, sugar and rainbows if you want, but cheating is a subject I avoid most of the time. It's just that most of the time it's too much angst and sad stuff for my liking. But the first pages looked rather humorous, and I figured I'd give it a shot. The last three books I've read have been in Norwegian, so it was rather refreshing to read an English book. Also, originally I thought the plot was set in America, but I was pleasantly surprised when I realised they were in England. Sorry Americans, but I really do love England. And as if that's not enough, there's an Irish character, who uses the word "eejit". I cannot explain how happy that little word made me (it's a sentimental thing for me). Also, somehow I didn't read the bit about the book being tear-jerking at the cover. Of course I ended up crying about 1/3 of the book. I would love to be able to pinpoint why I was so pleasantly surprised. But I guess I was just thinking it would be another OK book, and nothing special. And it's not that special. The plot is actually very ordinary - it happens to people every day. But maybe that's the thing: Tony Parsons managed to make something ordinary exciting. It's a really great book, and it's a new favorite of mine. It's actually very well written, and you'll find a lot of nice life philosophy. "Sometimes we are only aware of how happy we are when the moment has passed. But now and again, if we are very lucky, we are aware of happiness when it is actually happening". I was reading most of the book outside in the rather morose weather, but it suited the mood of the book, and as always I was listening to music whilst reading. My brain is rather focused on reading though, the music is mostly just to block out everything else. And seriously, I was listening to In My Veins by Andrew Belle, and the second I turned the page and started reading chapter 38: "'The world is changing', said Nigel Batty" Andrew Belle sang: "everything will change. Nothing stays the same". It was just the funniest coincidence ever. Holy shit, just found the sequel. But it's not available in the local library. I actually loved Man and Boy so much, I might just go ahead and order the sequel Man and Wife online. I'm just afraid to be disappointed, is all. You know when you find something you love, like book series or an album, and then you love it to death. But then the sequel isn't as great, and you end up being really disappointed because you had such high hopes. But I've gone to the library to borrow another Tony Parsons book. It's called My Favourite Wife. But I have a feeling it's not as good.. anyway, I just wanted to recommend Man and Boy. It's been a long while since I last found a book I couldn't put down, but this was just really great. Funny, sad and just really good. 

when the night before has left you and the smoke has filled your lungs

Err, I just watched a video of a baby sloth getting shaved, buttered and wrapped in bandages because it was sick. Tumblr is an interesting place. I ended up going to bed at 3:30 am yesterday, because it wasn't enough to spend time on my stroller obsession. I also did the mistake of watching a few One Direction videos from the recent concerts, which sparked the idea of watching videos of them in Norway. And then I got really emotional, because I'm so grateful I've gotten to see them live, whereas there are so many people that don't get the opportunity. And then my mind was racing back to the Best Song Ever music video and when Zayn sings: "I hope you'll remember how we danced", and they show the lads on the flying thing in their concert. Which made me think of their three year anniversary, which reminded me of my Tumblr dashboard filled with old pictures and gifs from they first got together. It was just really emotional. Anyway, I watched the second episode of Skins Pure last night, and I don't know. I always thought these episodes with the old cast would leave me feel satisfied. But I'm not- I'm left unsatisfied, starved. I will admit that I liked Skins Fire with Effy a lot more, because it seemed more like Skins, also there were other old cast members of Skins. Whereas in Skins Pure, there were only Cassie herself. And everyone else were new. Cassie will always confuse me, which probably is why I love her so much. I just cannot understand her. But hey, Gabrielle Aplin's song Start Again was in this episode, and I've always loved Skins for their choice of music. I'm just glad that for once I knew about this artist before Skins introduced me to them. The lyrics are astonishing as always. Gabbie will always remind me of the female version of Ed Sheeran. Always. Ever since I've fallen in love with John Mayer's music again, I've been itching to attend a concert of his. And of course he's coming here in October. And guess who's his supporter? Gabrielle Aplin. It's like the world is testing me, because the tickets are sold out, and I'm just fuck. I wouldn't mind going on the concert alone, but aaaahhhh just want to hit myself sometimes. If it starts pouring down outside, I might just go drench myself. Right now I'm drawing/writing a bit. I'm planning on watching a film I've been wanting to watch for a while. And continue on Man and Boy, because it's really good! Might go to bed early tonight, seeing as I woke up at 10:30 am. I just cannot get myself to sleep long? It's probably just because of the brightness that comes along with the summer. 

I'm gonna steer clear 'cause I'd die if I saw you. I'd die if I didn't see you there. So I don't think I'm gonna go to LA anymore

According to my belieber friend, these pictures from above are called "blog pictures". I'm loving Take Care by Drake. I'm just two years late. I always question my music taste, because it's so incredibly diverse. I think I could learn to love any song, if I'd just wanted to. The only problem with my growing CD collection, is that I try listening to each album equally. I don't want my CD's to just lie in the drawer-- they are to be used. Right now I'm listening to Hands All Over by Maroon 5, which is one of my favorite albums. This also reminds me that I really want to get my hands on Songs About Jane and It Won't Be Soon Before Long by Maroon 5. And whilst I'm at it I also want Songs For You, Truths For Me by James Morrison, For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Iver, Room For Squares and Heavier Things by John Mayer. And probably loads of other albums I cannot think of right now. The weather today has been very odd. Woke up to grey clouds and a little colder weather than what it's been for the last weeks. And then there was thunder and lightning. And then loads of rain. I had to do a few errands for the wedding of my sister that will be held next Easter. And whilst I was walking to the center of this little place I live, it started pouring down. Heavy raindrops in such a fast pace, that even though I was wearing my wellies and was sheltered underneath my umbrella, the back of my thighs and my shopping tote got soaked. Whereas some people get quite annoyed, it made me grin. After having such a great weather, I figured we'd get something quite opposite. And I do enjoy pouring rain as long as it's not freezing. I just wish I didn't have my phone and books with me, so I could just put my umbrella down and let myself get soaked. But since I was going to this hobby store to find transparent papers, I figured it would be a really bad idea. Oh, I stopped listening to Maroon 5-- ever since I fell in love with In Your Atmosphere by John Mayer, I've been itching to listen to the Where The Light Is concert. But it lasts for two hours, so I've never gotten the chance. But it's the weekend, and I've got loads of time. Here is a Youtube link to the whole concert if you want to listen to some relaxing music by John Mayer. Now the weather has gone all sunny all of a sudden. I might go outside to do a bit of reading. When I was doing errands, I went to the library and borrowed Man and Boy by Tony Parsons. It looked really intriguing. And I've found that I read very few books with a male protagonist. That's what you get when you read a lot of chick lit's I guess. Yesterday I ate salmon and salad for supper, and I was really surprised by myself. I consider myself a rather unhealthy eater, and I am. I've started my Saturday chocolate eating. Except I've only eaten a few bits of chocolate. And now I find it depressing to look at my bag of chocolate, because it feels like I've got to eat everything in such a hurry. Actually, I was thinking the other day: I think I could probably quit chocolate completely. It's just that chocolate has turned into something that feels like a chore. Like I need to stuff myself with chocolate each Saturday. Also, I'm not so very fond of sweet things it appears-- including macaroons. But this is a good thing I guess, not liking too sugary things. (Oh god, in the video John Mayer is currently singing his cover of Free Fallin'. It's so pretty). I didn't get enough time to watch Skins yesterday, as I was absolutely knackered. But I did finish an e-mail for Sugar and I managed to go through my Tumblr dashboard for the last days. Today I'm writing a bit, maybe drawing something and just generally relaxing. Err-- a few hours later: It's close to midnight now, and basically, I went outside to make use of the blue envelopes I bought in Sweden the other day and read Man and Boy by Tony Parsons. The book seems really good actually. I'm a bit surprised, but yeah. I'm only fifty pages in though- I fell asleep in the sun on my stomach on the trampoline. I was lying on a pillow as well, so when I startled awake an hour later my neck really hurt. Oh the joys of not having a young body. Alright so I'm only twenty, but I'm pretty sure I've become really aware of my weight and health, and my bladder seems to have shrunk a bit too. Also, I've become more stupid. Yesterday I thought my computer was going to die on me, because it was making such a big noise. Like when it's overheated and stuff. So I was like freaking out, thinking "oh well, this is it. It's been four lovely years". And then I realised the sound was actually my mum blow drying her hair. Not my computer. Anyway, after I awoke on the trampoline, the sky became a bit overcast, but it was still warm so I continued reading and listening to the playlists Kiwi made me. And when I decided I'd had enough, I started jumping on the trampoline for a bit. Thing is, no one actually uses the trampoline. My parents just put it up because my nephew likes jumping on trampolines. What they don't do for David-- I swear, he'll be the most spoiled grand child. After getting tired of jumping on the trampoline, my mum asked me what we should eat for supper-- the kind of question when she means that I should make the food. We ended up making pasta with meatballs in tomato soup and salad with dry-cured ham. It was really really good. The pasta turned out perfect, and I do love meatballs. It was my brother that made the tomato soup from scratch. I forget sometimes that my brother is really great at cooking. It's just that he's lazy-- meaning, we didn't have all the ingredients to make tomato soup, and I volunteered to go to the grocery store, because he refused. All my family members are good at cooking except for my younger sister and I. And that's only because we've never had to make food. But even my younger sister is good at cooking when she gives an effort. After finishing two plates (I'm currently really stuffed), I washed the dishes and went for a shower. And now I'm here. I'm going to watch the remaining Youtube videos I've missed, because I couldn't be bothered to do that yesterday. Also I'm going to watch Skins. And that's my plans for the night. Oh wow, these blogposts have increased in length, haven't they? 

wherever you go, wherever you are, I watch your life play out in pictures from afar

Holy shit—time goes by so fast. There is literally two weeks left of my summer job. And then I’m actually heading to my sister in Aalesund. The plane company Norwegian has had these special summer offers each Tuesday this summer. And on Tuesday they had cheap plane tickets to Aalesund, so I thought why not? Marble and I had planned on hiking in a mountain last weekend, but there’s no mountain in a close distance, and none of us have a driver license. But as I’m leaving for Aalesund, I cannot wait to walk in the mountains. I’m just very fond of nature. I realised that when I was thinking of places to travel, it’s always something to do with the nature. Lately it’s been Ireland, New Zealand and Switzerland. I got a post card from the latter country—Ale’s been at home in Switzerland for the summer. And isn’t it just beautiful? Mountains on mountains, and snow covered mountains. It’s just my cup of tea. Anyway, thank you Ale! That was a really nice surprise to get in my mail yesterday. Had me grinning a bit manically, to be honest. I told Sugar about it, and asked her to send me a postcard from Greece. Marble and Sugar are travelling to Greece tomorrow, and although I am jealous, it’s not necessarily because of them travelling to the warmth (I’m even struggling to survive here, which makes me genuinely think I am not fit for the warmth?) – it’s because they are doing something they’ve wanted for a long while. It’s why I’m also jealous of my sister who left for Spain today. And especially my brother, who is leaving for Japan in two weeks. Ha, my dad is driving to the airport quite a lot these weeks. Travelling to Japan has been a dream of my brother for a long while- I can remember him talking about it years ago. Thing is- Greece, Spain, Japan—they’re not my dream destinations. I’m jealous of the experience, the memories. I’m especially jealous of my brother’s knack for adventures. Or well, it’s one of the things I admire the most about my broseph. Anyway, I spent Monday and Tuesday going swimming with my family. I only swam on Monday though, because it appears that I feel really uncomfortable swimming at a place with loads of people. I think it’s because the last years I’ve gotten so used to go swimming at places where there’s literally no people. But it’s so nice and peaceful. Wednesday I spent chilling after work. I’ve been working each week day, and then I bike home in the heat, have a quick shower and get ready for any adventure my visitors have decided for the day. And it’s been like this for the past three weeks, so it almost feels like I’ve not had any time for myself at all. I’ve seriously got about 900 pictures in my “summer” folder already, and I usually only have about 300-400 picture in each folder. I have a feeling I’ll spend a lot of time deleting pictures. My favorite thing is to lend my camera to another person, and then look at the pictures the person has taken. It’s always interesting to see what other people see. Yesterday, or Thursday, I spent with the kilo-gang, because my belieber friend is finally home from her vacation. And then Sugar is leaving tomorrow, so it was sort of needed. I’m not quite sure what to think of this development of our co-dependency. Haha. Anyway, Kiwi and I went to Starbucks, because that mango drink that I never seem to remember the name of is heaven on a warm day. Kiwi changed her name, and later when Sugar and my belieber friend also went to Starbucks, Kiwi forced Sugar to change her name too. Before I got on the train to Oslo, I texted Sugar: “Have you seen the rain? Are we in Paris?”, because all of a sudden it was pouring down with rain. And it’s like the weather gods like me, because it started raining a little bit whilst I was walking to the train station, but then it stopped. And just when I reached the train station about fifteen minutes later, it started pouring down. It also happened when we were walking down Karl Johan Street in Oslo. And it was so funny to see how the crowded streets abruptly turned empty for people, as everyone hurried their way into a random store. It was just like Paris. But I liked the rain, because it was so bloody warm and humid. I tried explaining to the kilo-gang why it was raining, and I realised how much I miss having geography class at school. Anyway, I bought Take Care by Drake and Trilogy by The Weeknd. They were both on an offer, and I had been eyeing them both the last time I was in the CD-shop. My little CD-drawer is almost full—I’ve got space for one more. And that’s not even all my CD’s. Oh god, I think I spend more money on books and CD’s than clothing. Right, back to what I did yesterday—after sitting down at what seems to have become our personal “Central Perk” (it’s a Friends reference, to those who don’t know what I’m trying to convey), we decided to go to the Opera House because Kiwi felt a bit sad we hadn’t fulfilled the “week of being tourists”. Sugar and my belieber friend were reluctant to go, which is not that surprising at all. I’m usually up to everything Kiwi suggests. I don’t know if I’m just a very submissive person, but I’ll usually go for any of Sugars suggestions of restaurants (it was her who suggested the Indian restaurant, Jaipur to me) and I have a really hard time of saying no to my belieber friend. Either I’m really submissive, or my biggest goal in life is to make people I care about happy. Which, yeah, probably is true. Oh, before we went to the Opera House, the other girls went to the loo, and I was standing outside carrying my belieber friend’s purse, which weighs a ton. And of course there’s this little girl who was probably about five or six, who comes striding right up to me. And when I say right up to me, I literally mean there was no space between us. And she was just looking up at me, and I was looking at her in question, and then she sort of just patted my stomach? And she quietly said “ah, now I see”, almost like she was talking to herself. And then her dad shouted at her to come along, and off she went. And I was just left speechless, because what the fuck? Kiwi said I might be attracting weird kids. Which, yeah, is such a great power to have. We ended up taking loads of pictures at the Opera House, and I would have stayed there for hours if I could. But my sister was leaving early for Spain today, so I had to go home and spent some time with her before she left. I get a really bad conscience when I’m not spending time with my siblings when they are visiting. But then I feel really bad for not spending time with my friends either. I discussed this with Sugar on the train ride home—she said to not think of everything that seriously, and that I was just making problems for myself. Speaking of Sugar—I don’t think I’ve had a friend that’s made me cry this much (it sounds like she’s abusing me or something, haha). Basically, I spent the early hours of Monday crying in a laundry room because of an e-mail she sent to me. I was trying to hold off reading it to after work, but my curiosity won. And well, if it’s not enough to look like a walking zombie at 7:00 am, I looked like a crying zombie. I’ve not had a time to write a response, but I am going to do it tonight. Hopefully, if I manage to be a bit productive. I didn’t go to bed until 1:00 am yesterday, because we had a movie night and watched Jack The Giant Slayer. It was okay, I guess. But I love Nicholas Hoult purely because he’s Tony Stonem, so I didn’t care too much about the plot. I didn’t think Eleanor Tomlinson was the best actor, but it was a nice surprise to see her face again. Haven’t seen her since the movie Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. Also, her name! I almost choked on my icetea, when I read Eleanor Tomlinson in the credits. Because obviously my first thought went to Louis Tomlinson and Eleanor Calder. You know if they were married and Eleanor would have taken Louis’ name. Hence my confusion about the name.  Anyway, because I went to bed so late last night, I was literally sleep walking at work today. Even folded cloths with my eyes closed, and I was snoozing off during my break. Which reminds me: I’ve been listening to Best Song Ever by One Direction and the live version of In Your Atmosphere by John Mayer, where he also sings Wherever You Are at the end. Actually, I'm a bit confused if they are separate songs, or if they're both the same song? I’m going to link to it here, and I hope you’ll give it a listen, because it’s been my favorite tune to listen to all week. I was snoozing off to John Mayer’s voice, and I kept startling awake whenever my head fell down. Haha, I’m guessing I was quite the sight. Also, err, I think maybe Stone knows I’m trying to avoid him. I’ve not had lunch the same time as him for the past four days, and yesterday he said: “what? You had lunch without me?”. It’s all banter though, at least I think it is. I felt a bit bad, because it’s not like he’s done anything. He’s just a very chatty person, and I’m the opposite. Oh god, I love Harry Styles. I told the kilo-gang last night, that I genuinely think Harry and I should be best friends. I just think we’re quite alike in a lot of ways; also I’d love to bomb my Instagram and Vine with Niall. I do love it when Harry becomes Niall’s personal paparazzi. I was looking through Harry’s Vine yesterday, and oh god—Niall. I was muttering to myself before bed: “what? Is that outlines of abs on your stomach? What is happening??”. Also, I’ve been ogling the picture Niall posted by himself and his precious nephew called Theo. If there’s no fan fictions about Niall and his new nephew, I’m going to be sad. Guys with babies. Wow, it’s the most attractive thing ever. It’s like when I see the dads with their kids in the kindergarten, a piece of my heart softens a bit. Alright, this is getting super long, and I still need to write an e-mail to Sugar, watch Skins, watch the youtube videos I’ve missed. Also, I have to eat. And get some sleep. 

said her name was georgia rose

Oh. So it's a bit better then I thought. Ha. I'm dying-- dear god. "Liam, you stay exactly where you are because you are PER-FECT". So funny. Even my younger sister liked it, who refuses to enjoy One Direction related things, except for AAOOD. It's actually quite sentimental-- especially the bridge when they sing: "I hope you'll remember how we danced". It almost seems like they are talking to the fans about the future. Like this will be over soon, and for us to remember them. Also, the ending where they write This Is Us at the poster, which is a great way to promote their movie, by the way, but it's also really sweet. Basically they're saying that they are themselves, and not every boy band that exist and has existed. Someone wrote about it on Tumblr: "i just started tearing up at the end when i saw the ‘This is Us’ painted on their picture image. because that’s just it, isn’t it? no matter how much more controlled their lives are now that they’ve become so famous, no matter how much of them involves marketing or dictating their actions and image, in the end it’s still these five idiots who run the show, isn’t it? they’re still the same boys who sat on those stairs in their video diaries and asked us for our votes; still the same boys who can’t believe all this is even happening to them; still the same boys who remain true to themselves and keep each other grounded through all the difficult trials they face as celebrities. in the end they still want to be themselves and want to express who they actually are to us even though so many things in their industry prevent them from doing so. and it just makes me emotional how much these boys have touched me because they’re not just a manufactured band, they’re people we’ve watched grown over the years; they’ll always be those five boys who we fell in love with as they tried their best to make it". Also, it sort of reminds me of the ending of a TV-show, or like, a movie. It's very clever. I think my favorite thing is the fact that they have synchronized dance moves, although all of them are their own made up ones. And I cannot believe that they've actually gotten professional dancers to do "The Joe", "Stop The Traffic", etc. 

maybe it's the way she walked straight into my heart and stole it

Hello! We've just had a BBQ, and I was in charge of the salad. To be fair, we've been having BBQ's so often now, I think maybe I'm starting to get tired of it. Except, I love it too. Because BBQ means the weather is great. And the weather has been incredible the last weeks, although sometimes a bit overcast. Nevertheless, the temperature has been really nice. My brother did remind me though, it's not that great if you think of the greenhouse effect, and all the people that are suffering from extreme heat. That's great- a great way to kill my joy. It made me think of poor and malnourished children. It made me think of children drinking contaminated water. It made me so sad, and so thankful for what I have. Tomorrow is the release of the music video of Best Song Ever. And I'm probably more excited to download the song on iTunes. I don't know, I just think One Direction has done the last few music videos great. I just don't see how they are supposed to surpass themselves. But it does look a lot fun, and Zayn is dressed as a girl-- so that's very intriguing. I think everyone should go listen to Wherever You Are by John Mayer. It's so pretty, but so short. I love old John Mayer. I'm not entirely that big of a fan of his more new music, but I love the Continuum album. I've played it so many times. Anyway, I think I might get a bit absent on this blog again- because my sister just came back from the festival, and she'll be here to Friday. And since I sort of only see my siblings a few times throughout the year, I try to spend all my time with them. Oh christ, I think I might have to go to sleep with sheets as a duvet, because it's so bloody warm here. It's about 27 Celsius in my bedroom-- and my window is open. Which reminds me of yesterday-- the bike trip was slightly cold, seeing as I was biking around in my shorts and cropped top. The moon was beautiful, and the people in the central area of where I live were a bit tipsy, if not drunk. Also, the first episode of Skins Pure was a bit surprising. Not what I had expected, and I'm sort of disappointed Sid isn't there. But Cassie said something so devastating-- a girl asked why her relationship ended. And Cassie answered "if not, it would have been forever". I just- that's so Cassie. And aaaahhhggg. I'm looking forward to the next episode, which is tomorrow. But I might just wait to watch it to the weekend, as I've done with all the episodes. It's just that I like to watch Skins in the middle of the night, when all my senses feels the sharpest. I'm listening to Gabrielle Aplin right now. Listen to The Power of Love by her with your earplugs. I swear, her voice is so beautiful. Also, it appears that she has written a song for Skins Pure. Which is amazing, because I love Skins music. It's the best thing ever. And I love Gabrielle Aplin. Also, I swear- it's like there's a thread between everything I love. From Skins, to Youtubers to One Direction. It is actually so odd. Anyway, must go. You know, work tomorrow-- have to wake up bright and early. Yay. 

it's empty in the valley of your heart

Noen ganger føler jeg en overdøvende tristhet over at ting ikke er for alltid. Da må jeg alltid tenke tilbake til den juni-kvelden der han sa: "Ikke ta sorgene på forskudd". Det går som et mantra i hodet mitt. Noen ganger sier folk ting, og det er ikke alltid de forstår eller innser hvilken betydning det har for meg. Det er et nokså kjent ordtak- men et jeg aldri hadde hørt før den varme juni-kvelden. Og det fikk meg til å re-vurdere mye av livet mitt. Noen ganger tenker jeg tilbake på den kvelden med et smil, fordi det er så rart å tenke at kanskje den lille tingen kan ha vært forskjellen mellom meg i dag, eller en annen meg. Det er et sitat fra Ulysses som går: “I am a part of all that I have met.” - Lord Tennyson, Ulysses. Det er så fint og ikke minst sant. Tenk om jeg hadde tatovert alle ordtak og sitater jeg synes er fine! Som om kroppen min er et nakent lerret som venter på å bli tilsølt med maling. I dag våknet jeg av en stemme utenfor som ropte «tante!» om og om igjen. Og det hørtes så likt ut som nevøen min, David, at jeg nesten flashet naboen i hast med å åpne vinduet for å se etter. Riktignok var det ikke min nevø, men en annen unge. Det etterlot meg med en overdøvende følelse av savn. Senere så jeg på et bilde jeg hadde knipset av han i armene til min bror, hans onkel da han var to måneder. Innså at jeg kanskje savnet å ha en baby sovende i mine armer. En liten dult som ligger rolig i mine armer, og øyne som sakte men sikkert lukkes når jeg stryker kinnet. Disse dager er det sjeldent av David sitter rolig. Helst vil han leke med lokomotivet hans, eller en av de tusen bilene hans, eller kanskje løpe etter hundene. Det verste er kanskje at jeg allerede kan forestille meg han som atten år, og jeg trettiseks. Minner meg om at alt ikke er for alltid. Ikke ta sorgene på forskudd da. Ja, nei, skal ikke det.  

I won't see the love you don't feel when you're holding me

It was really nice to see Oyster again yesterday, despite her sniffles and loud sneezes. Also, I got to see people I only see once a year, so that's nice. We had a bit of reminiscing about our childhood, and we came to the conclusion that we had the best childhood ever. And honest to god, I really do believe it. I cannot imagine having a better childhood than mine. We were just so crazy and I've got so many great memories of it. Apparently, Oyster read the whole of my last blogpost, which is crazy, because it's so long. I think I said "seriously??", because I don't expect people to actually read my blog. But it's really nice when my amigos tell me they've been reading it. Anyway, I was awoken by my dad today, because we were going to Sweden. Again. Haha. It's cause my dad couldn't tag along the last time due to work. So off we went, and we drove through Strömstad, Sweden, which is the cutest and prettiest city I've seen for a really long time. The weather was amazing-- has surprisingly been for weeks now. But today it was top notch! I wish I'd brought my camera, but I didn't know we were actually going to Sweden. I just thought we'd go to the Swedish border and buy food and whatnot. My mum actually wanted to continue to Göteborg, and we probably would have gone, if it weren't for us kids, who all said "no, thank you". My arse was hurting from sitting in the car for so long, and I didn't want to drive for two hours more (or more). Another time, though. It's just that my parents don't plan anything, and that's just stupid if you want to explore a city. My father was nagging about me getting my driver licence, as he has been doing the last two years of my life. I've always just shrugged and said that I didn't want it, nor need it. And I still don't need it. In fact, it makes so little sense for me to get a driver licence, when I barely ever sit in a car. Honestly, I was sitting in the car with a friend not that long ago (can't remember which friend), and I couldn't remember the last time I'd been in a car. But I've been thinking of it-- if I get my driver licence, my dad's car will basically be mine, because he barely ever uses it. He only uses his work car, so the car stays pretty much unused in the garage, as there are no other people in the house (on a regular basis) with a driver license. And I would like to go on road trips to Sweden, or to Aalesund, or to wherever. But that's literally it. I'd like to have a driver license in order to go on road trips, and I'm not sure if that's enough for me to want to get my driver license. Anyway, I've got a year-time supply of chocolate now. I don't think it's even an exaggeration. Also, I bought a new drawing pad and a little charming note book. Can't have enough of charming note books. I shouldn't buy them, but I still do. Because the weather was so nice today I decided to do some reading in the sun, but then I fell asleep in the sun because I was that knackered. I love this weather, although I've been wearing a shorts and my cropped top in my bedroom due to the heat. I was reading fan fiction lying on my bed, listening to music (the Lumineers album is actually really great-- I've actually not had time to listen to it until now), occasionally getting a breeze of air through my window. Is it really Saturday already? I'm going to watch the first episode of Skins Pure. And I'm excited to see Cassie! So I've been watching Skins from the start-- and each cast gets two seasons, and then they are switched with a new cast. Cassie is from the first cast, and she was one of my favorites. Effy was actually in four seasons, because although she was in the first cast too, she wasn't really a main character. Therefore she was also in the second cast-- season three and four. This year, Skins have not made a new season with a new cast, as they usually do. Instead they've been filming a sort of "what are they up to now?" with a few of the old casts. Each person gets two episodes. Effy's episodes were named "Skins Fire". And then you have Cassie's who's named "Skins Pure". Alright, before I watch it-- I'm going for a little bike ride. Have to take advantage of the weather before it's gone, and the snow and the darkness sinks back to the ground. The moon is looking rather big and bright tonight, and I plan on taking a picture of it. 

I said "can I take you home with me". She said "never in your wildest dreams"

Right now

Oh, er, this is really long it's actually about 3,700 words. Feel free to read, but you won't get any wiser.

Thursday 11th of July

I’m sorry, but I have the worst memory. All I know is that I went swimming. We went to a public pool, and my nephew, David and his dad, Grepper went to the pool for kids. It’s a pool where it gradually gets deeper, which is why there is a range of different ages in that pool. When I went to join them in the pool, I wasn’t actually going to sit down, because the water barely reached my thighs. But then you have some kids running around in the water splashing you and whatnot. So I decided to sit down. I was immediately reminded of why I’ve not been there for years. I hate it when there are so many people around the pool. It’s great when you’re a child, but it’s so little enticing to be in a pool where it’s impossible to swim in, without getting jumped at or bumping into someone else. I went to the deeper pool in order to swim for a bit, but again, there were so many people, so I went back. And I asked Grepper, who looked rather lonely—the only adult surrounded with kids and holding onto David in his little inflatable boat – “aren’t you going to dip in?”. And he answered “nope, I’m too tall, and it’s cold”. If there’s anything I’d like to teach Grepper; it’s to be a bit more yolo/kal ho na ho about things. But when I turned around to look at him again (I think I was staring at the other pool), he was sitting down in the water. And I was thinking: “well, look at that”. We left shortly after, because it was a bit cold, and David started to shiver. I went to the little kiosk to buy me some ice lolly, and of course David walks over to me and places himself in my lap, looking at me with his most charming smile ever. I swear, kids are so much smarter than you would believe. 

Friday 12th of July

Friday was a very full-packed day. Work from 7:00 am to 2:30 pm. Home for a shower and a grub from 3:00 pm to 3:41 pm. Oslo from 4:00 pm to 5:44 pm. Home for dinner and changing a nappy for my nephew from 6:15 pm to 8:00 pm. Cinema, watching World War Z with Brad Pitt at 8:30 pm to 10:30 pm. Among the things that have happened, I almost got hit by a car, I went to the coolest secondhand book/vinyl/map/whatever shop. Also, we went to a secondhand clothing store, and they sold 501 Levi cut offs, which is a total yes from me. In the store I recognized the brand Trabant because I used to be really into secondhand shops before- and I was subscribed to e-mail updates from Trabant. And well, it felt a bit like I've come to another world when I was walking the streets in Grünerløkka, Oslo. I've also had a bit of a nosebleed, which made me think that maybe I should take my iron supplements-- I was sort of thinking I could stop. I've only got four left, so what's the big deal, yeah? But I'm taking my nose bleed as a sign. I rarely do have nose bleeds, so whenever I do get them, I'm a bit wary. Oh, and the movie! Before going to the cinema, and we were waiting on the train, I saw a poster of the movie. And I pointed it out for Sugar. And she asked me if it was my type of movie. And I said no, because it really isn't. And I explained how I'm not too fond of Brad Pitt's acting. But you know what? World War Z is the best movie I've seen for quite a while. It beats the Superman movie. But that's because I found the theme of World War Z a lot more interesting, so it's all biased. I'm just-- I literally had my heart in my throat for most of the movie. Actually, I found it quite terrifying. My eldest sister admitted that she held her breath for most of the movie. I don't want to say anything that will reveal the movie, but I'm definitely giving it thumbs up. I also watched the Skins episode on Friday, rather than the day I had planned it. I figured I was going to cry because of the episode, and I didn't want to show up puffy on work, so I postponed it to the weekend. I'm so so happy with the way it turned out sort of. I say sort of, because whyyyyyyy. Arrrr, I just, it was like a perfect summary for a whole Skins season. Honestly. And the infamous Effy smirk. That was just perfect, and oh god. I love Effy.

Saturday 13th of July 

I was awoken by my sister and my nephew. Quite a bit tired, but relieved to not going to work. Also happy to see my sister (the last one to come), who gave me a hug after lifting my nephew down from my bed. Whilst I was eating my brekkie (breakfast—I don’t know why I insist on using weird abbreviations, but oh well) my dad said: "shouldn't you all hurry up? And I was looking up from my food, trying to figure out what he meant. And then I asked my sister: "wait, are we actually going to Sweden?". And she was like yeah, let's go. We were speaking about going to Sweden the day before, but my dad couldn’t drive due to work. And we were too many for one car. So I thought it had been settled that we would in fact not go. But then both my brother and other sister (not the eldest) have their driving licenses too. So, off we were. I sat in my eldest sister and Grepper’s car, because my eldest sister told me to. Probably to entertain David. He was watching a Tom and Jerry in Alice and Wonderland movie. It was a really odd combination, but what can you do? It was bloody hot in Sweden too. A lot warmer! I bought some Asian beer, a new face moisturizer and eye cream. And loads of chocolate, of course. When we got home, we had a big BBQ, and then we watched Tsunami, which is about the tsunami in Thailand a few years ago. It left me a bit disappointed to be honest; It just ended so abruptly and I want to know what happened with the people. I guess that’s what I get after watching unrealistic happy-ending Hollywood movies for years.

Sunday 14th of July

Woke up at 10:00 am. Grepper joked about us leaving the house in five minutes. I went to eat breakfast, but then I went to have a shower instead. My eldest sister, Grepper, my nephew, and the dogs went for a walk. And when they got back, we headed into Oslo. There we wandered through Vigelandsparken, because my eldest sister, Grepper and my nephew have never been there. And then we walked through Frogner, and towards to Karl Johan, before we went to eat at an Indian restaurant called Jaipur. I ate lam with spinach, and it was amazing. Once when I was younger, I used to eat at my neighbors for breakfast. I'd always eat some sort of spinach that I learned to love. And I think I was asking Sugar about it, because I didn't know what it was. I'm still a bit unsure what it is. Because Sugar is Indian, and my old neighbors were from Sri Lanka. I actually watched a Bollywood film today called Ra, and though the actors were famous, I didn't really like the movie. It made me cringe, and just blah. I think I prefer regular Bollywood movies. I don’t understand why all of the Bollywood movies suddenly have turned into “modern” themes. Alright, so I understand that in order to keep Bollywood going, they also have to go with the flow and embrace new things, but I still prefer a simple love story. Sugar once told me that maybe I was Indian in another life. It’s not such a weird thought, actually. It was actually dad who was initially watching the Indian movie— also, he sat down to watch the other Bollywood movie I watched the other week. So I think maybe members of my family were Indian in another life. 

Monday 15th of July

I’m writing this on a Thursday, so I’m really trying to remember the things I’ve been up to. I think maybe we went to the mall—another than the one we usually go to. And then we met the newest baby in the family. He’s called Kyan, I think. And he’s about three weeks old? At least he was tiny, and it reminded me of seeing my nephew for the very first time. I’m so terrified of newborns. They are so tiny and fragile, and it looks like everything could crush them. Also, my nephew David appears to love babies. I’ve known for a while, because he keeps pointing at pictures of babies and saying “bibi”, which cracks me a bit up, because I keep thinking of Oyster’s grandma. Also, I was looking after David in a baby shop whilst my eldest sister and Grepper were talking with an employee about car seats. And David literally walked to a pram and touched the baby and said “bibi!”. And I was like, “erm, sorry” to the lady with the pram, and dragged David along to something else. This was like two weeks ago when my eldest sister and co were here to attend the Greenday concert. Anyway, I bought a beautiful top on sale. It’s just so lovely I’ve decided to hang in on my closet door, that’s been weirdly naked after my ball gown has been staying at Oyster’s for the past month. Also, I bought a cropped top that basically looks like someone cut off a regular t-shirt. Nothing special, but one of the Youtubers I follow had showed the cropped top in a haul, and I figured—it’s so bloody cheap, and I can use it in this summer heat. I think we might have had a BBQ. 

Tuesday 16th of July       

Err, I woke up at 6:00 am, as I have been every week day. This was the day Stone decided to disrupt my reading in order to talk. It was actually a quite interesting conversation, despite what I’ve written about it. At the end of our conversation I said “oh, that was deep”. And he was like “yeah”. And it made me try to think when I became so open with people I barely know. Anyway, I think we went to the mall on Tuesday too—and I bought purple hair dye. The last time my eldest sister was visiting, I asked her how she thought I’d look with purple hair. And then I forgot about the conversation, until this day when my sister said: “are we going to colour your hair then?”. And I was like “sure, why not?”. Of all the days the last days, I think this might have been my favorite? I was laughing at my sister who came downstairs in my work t-shirt and my old handball shorts after her shower. And then Grepper held David in his arms whilst “trying” to catch my eldest sister. And David was laughing so much. And I was still laughing at my sister, who exclaimed that we were such a weird family. And then she tossed a ball on my eldest sister, causing my eldest sister to punch my other sister in her arm. I just remember thinking: “oh wow, I love my family” and how this is a memory I’ll remember for a very long time. Also, my parents are trying to teach David to speak a bit of Cantonese. Now he knows how to say good morning and thank you. It was rather impressing listening to him pronounces it. But I guess he’s in that age where he can pick up anything, and you have to be careful of what you’re saying. Also, it seemed like he understood my mum when she was speaking Cantonese to him as well. Poor Grepper, most of the time we’re all speaking in another language, and he’ll just have to guess or have someone translate to him. My mum even asked him to bring something from the kitchen in Cantonese. Obviously he didn’t understand, but it was funny nevertheless. We played a game of Gin and Rummy. My siblings and I used to play it all the time, like an activity for us I guess. And we taught Grepper how to play, probably in the most confusing way (four people shouting over each other, trying to explain). I ended up at second place, and everyone suddenly thought I was like a master in the game. And I was like “no, I’m really not! I’m actually really bad at this”. It might have looked like a lie when I managed to win the last round in such a short amount of time, but it is actually true. Anyway, it was really fun, and it brought out a lot of old memories. And we really had a laugh that day. For some reason, we were just all really giggly? Oh well, that’s sort of why this was my favorite day. OH, and I actually bought The Mystery of Mercy Close by Marian Keyes—so the day was definitely a success.  

Wednesday 17th of July

I went home a bit earlier in order to spend time with all the visitors before they were leaving. When I got home they were all playing a game of Gin and Rummy, whilst David was playing with his toys in his playpen. I swear, he’s got so many toys and stuff here, it’s like he’s living here full time, when he really is here about five times a year. Anyway, I got myself a pear cider, because it reminds me of a pear soda I used to love. I say used to because I’ve stopped drinking soda. But had I still been drinking soda, I would’ve still loved that pear soda. They started a new game of Gin and Rummy and I got to join. And the sun was so warm. Grepper and my eldest sister were just basking in the sun, whereas my next eldest sister, my younger sister and I were complaining about the warmth. I’m not quite sure who won, because Grepper and my eldest sister went to go for a walk with the dogs before they would leave. It’s basically a 7-hour drive from here to Aalesund. Not so short, in other words. When they got back, they got ready to leave. We changed David’s nappy, and tried to see if he would sit on the loo—but he was terrified of sitting at the loo. He could look at it, but apparently not sit at it. Oh well. He got a new nappy, and gave hugs to everyone. I buckled him in his car seat in the car, and went to say goodbye to the dogs. I love Scott and Egon. Although they are incredibly stupid and think its okay to attack a dog thrice their size, they’re the most loving dogs ever. I love to have them in my lap and petting them. I’ve not seen them since October last year, so it was nice to finally see them again.  Lastly, I said my goodbyes to my eldest sister and Grepper. And off they drove. My other sister was leaving for a festival later on Wednesday evening. And so she had to drop by the mall in order to buy a few things. We went with her, obviously, and it seemed like everyone parted their ways in the mall. Somehow my dad, my brother and my younger sister are experts at finding me. When we were in Sweden, I’d be walking alone in a shop, and then suddenly out of nowhere, my brother would ask me if I’d seen our mum. It happened about five times. And that one time I tried finding any of my family, I went around the mall we were at—and no luck. Couldn’t find them. Anyway, my sister got all the things she needed, and I bought blue envelopes to my future letter-writing.  Whilst walking in the CD store, I was just telling my younger sister about Best Song Ever by One Direction, and how I thought the song would be leaked, and then I go on Twitter-- and what do I see? It is indeed leaked. Thing is, I don't instantly like One Direction's singles? I do like the songs, but usually they’ve got to grow on me, seeing as One Direction is honestly so far from my regular music taste. The weird thing is that I actually liked this song from the moment it started? I just really loved the intro, and then the song started, and I gasped (and fangirled, yada yada). I’m not quite sure why I do like it so much. But I think it’s because it’s so much fun. And it’s such a typical One Direction song with leaps of energy in it. It’s funny because I thought I’d hate the song because of the cringy name, whereas Kiwi would love it, as I remember her defending the name. Instead it’s rather opposite. I love it, whilst she’s unsure of it. I had actually accepted that I’m probably never going to see One Direction live again, seeing as I don’t believe the Where We Are tour will include Norway. But when I heard this song, I had this surge of jealousy of everyone that will be able to attend the stadium tour. I could just see One Direction performing Best Song Ever, jumping around and just being One Direction.  Oh well, you can’t have it all. My dad drove my sister to her friend at 10:00 pm, I think. And although it’s lovely to have everyone visiting, it’s absolutely exhausting. As you know, I’ve not had time to turn on the computer the last week, and it’s always something to do. And the mess. Christ, shoes everywhere and stuff everywhere. And the worst part is that I’m always the one to give up my room. So it was a big relief to have my bed back yesterday. Although, when trying to clean up a bit of the mess in my bedroom, I sort of fell down the stairs. I was carrying a duvet and a pillow in one arm, and my sisters big luggage in the other. And I happened to be walking down to the basement on the smallest part of the stairs. And then I lost my footing, and I was already leaning forward. And I thought “this is it. Either I fall and hurt myself badly, or I’ll just jump”. I chose the latter, and jumped down the steps. If it hurts to jump from a swing into the sand, it hurts to jump down several steps in a staircase, only to land on a hard floor. My sister looked a bit alarmed and asked if I was okay. I wasn’t going to cry—it didn’t hurt that way. It’s just that my legs are already exposed for so much weight, so it felt a bit like someone was throwing stones on my skeleton. Which, wow, sounds gross. But yeah. At least I got my bed back.

Thursday 18th of July

I woke up a bit groggy. Wasn’t exactly feeling well-rested after six hours sleep. But as soon as I saw the weather, my mood was lightened. It was so weird walking downstairs and not seeing the dogs. For a moment I was looking around to find them, before I remembered that yeah, they’ve gone. My next eldest sister is coming back on Sunday, and then she’ll be here until Friday. Which means that when she leaves I’ll only have two weeks left of work. And vacation. And oh god, this is the first day I’ve allowed myself to think of school, because Kiwi brought it up. And it’s horrible. I don’t want to think of it anymore. No thanks. I’m currently sort of trying to avoid having lunch the same time as Stone? Except he keeps either being in the lunch room at the same time I’m there. And I’m like praying someone else will be there too, so he’ll have someone to speak to. I do sound like a really anti-social creature, but gahh. I just want peace, music and fan fiction for my break. Is that too much to ask? The purple in my hair only shows in the light. Also, I think it looks a bit more of a red-ish purple? And sometimes it just looks black to me. Obviously I don’t even know what colour my hair is. All I know is that I love to have a bit of unconventional hair colour. And that I feel a bit like the girl in Scott vs. Pilgrim, who changes hair colour all the time. Except I don’t do it all the time. I’m thinking of just getting ombre-hair for autumn. I had to bleach my hair in order for the purple to show a bit better. So it basically looked like an ombre, and my sisters were saying it looked good like that and that I should just leave it. But I was determined to have purple hair. My shower looked like I had painted everything purple- ha. Anyway, when I got home from work today, I went to the grocery store with my dad and younger sister. And that’s basically all I’ve done today. That and cleaned my room. And showered. And written this bloody long blogpost. Do you understand now how much time it actually takes? I can’t be bothered to read through it either, because I’m that lazy. Oh, I’ve also been trying to find the titles of the songs from the playlists’ I got from Kiwi. And it’s funny because there were so many I had guessed right artist. Which reminds me of the Iconpopsong game. I hope they’ll update it soon. Oh alright, I’m going to Oyster’s tomorrow, because I’ve actually not seen her in a month. It’s not even an exaggeration. 

if time is money, then I'll spend it all for you

Oh, er, hi! How do you go from a conversation about reading books and studying to a conversation about a break up? Oh god, I'm so bad at comforting people. I never know what to say. I was just having my lunch, listening to music and reading fan fiction-- and then this employee who I'll call Stone from now on, because I have a feeling I'm going to mention this person a few times-- waved in my face, signalizing me to pull out my ear plugs. Stone is also the person that decided to have a 20-question with me, and it seemed like it was continued that lunch. I think it was yesterday, I'm not quite sure. Stone asked me about what I was reading, and then somehow we got onto the theme of his ex, and I was like "oh, erm, are you okay?". And he was just pouring out his feelings and whatnot, and I felt a bit like Sugar (haha). Anyway, I'm sorry it's been so long! To be honest, I can't even remember the last time my computer was turned on. It's been lying untouched beside my mattress in my sisters bedroom for days. I've not even been able to go through my Tumblr dashboard, which actually kills me a bit. I reckon I've missed so bloody much. Also, I think I've started to dream things that'll actually happen some way. Lately I've been dreaming about Niall Horan and babies. And, guess if I gasped loudly yesterday when I saw this picture on Instagram? Also, I'm trying to figure out if Niall has been working on his biceps, or if he's just flexing excessively in the picture. Oh, the great problems of mine, yeah? Today was the first time I've ever written on a napkin. At least the first time I can recall. I'm going to write a recap post of everything I've done the last week. Either tomorrow, or in the weekend. My other sister is leaving tonight to attend a festival, so that means I'll have my bedroom back. And I'll have time. Also, oh my god. I'm still listening to the two playlists' I got from Kiwi, and I've fallen in love with Next To Me by Sleeping At Last. You should listen to it. Definitely. 

the day you died, I thought that I was gonna die as well

Hiya Snapback Direction! Except Harry isn't wearing one-- boo you Haz. Oh, I've got so much on my mind- and so much to write about, but I simply don't have the time to write. Did you know I actually spend quite a lot of time writing my blogposts? Well, I actually do. But I read this rather interesting list "25 THINGS TO ACTUALLY DO BEFORE YOU’RE 25", and it was really good (link in this whole sentence). Whilst I was working today I was in the scariest room in the whole kindergarten-- a room in the basement. Therefore I was blasting music in my ear. And as you might know, I'm still listening to the playlists Kiwi kindly made me for my birthday, and I don't actually see what the names of the songs are. It only shows up as: "spor 1". But I recognized the song as the song Kiwi, my belieber friend and I was listening to whilst sitting at the edge of Tjuvholmen weeks ago. And I can remember my belieber friend stating how sad the song was, and Kiwi agreeing furiously. I wasn't listening that intently, because I was busy filming the ocean. But when I was mopping the floor today, I was listening to the lyrics, and at the end of the song I was nearly crying. And now I finally understood what Kiwi and my belieber friend meant. It's called If Only As A Ghost by Jonas Alaska. Oh, my sister just came knocking on my bedroom door and asked: "have you seen the sun?". And I was like: "erm, what?", because I thought she was wondering whether I'd ever seen the sun, and it sounded like such a silly question to ask, and my sister is far smarter than a four (five?) year old kid, so I was hesitating to answer her. She asked again: "have you seen the sun?". And I just stared blankly at her, because, I just couldn't figure out what she meant-- and then literally a minute after, I finally understood what she meant. "Oh, you mean the sun right now?". And she nodded. You see, my younger sister and I have similar interest in the moon and the sun. And well, it was after her 4:00 am walk, that I decided to do the same in order to watch the sunrise. Well, the sun was big and red right now. Well, it's gone now, but it was amazing, and I couldn't capture it with my camera. I actually went downstairs to ask my eldest sister and her fiance (alright, can I just call him Grepper from now on? It's a combination of grey pepper, which turns out to be the first thing I thought of with the capital G) whether they wanted to see the red sun. My eldest sister and Grepper shrugged, and said "alright, why not go see the red sun?". And we were all standing on the balcony side by side, staring at the sun, having a discussion of why it's red. My eyes hurt a bit now-- I don't think you're supposed to stare directly at the sun- ever. But it was really nice. A nice happening to squeeze into my memory for safe keeping. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, because it's the weekend, and I'm going to meet up with Kiwi and Sugar for a brief meeting, and then I'm going to the cinema with my sisters, Grepper and probably my brother. Alright, I've actually got to go now. 

don't you even try and explain how it's so different when we kiss

Hiya pals, guess who's twenty? Me! Although I did come home to a card saying "happy 21st birthday" from my mum. I told her "erm, I'm twenty, not twenty one". She didn't believe me. And I was debating whether this was the right time to ask her if I'm adopted. You see- everyone I meet always guesses that I'm Vietnamese, when I am in fact Chinese. I once had a girl (who I had gone to the same school with for two years-- not that we were close friends) start babbling in Vietnamese to me, and I though "heck, I don't even know how to speak Chinese". I interrupted her one-way conversation and stated that I'm not Vietnamese. Her eyes widened, and said "really? oh". At work today, I was chatting a bit with an employee and he was basically having a one-way 20 questions with me whilst I was mopping the floor. He asked me about school, if I enjoy washing in the kindergarten, how old I was (oh god, that was officially the first time I've said I'm twenty out aloud), where I was from, etc. I asked him to guess where I was from, already anticipating the wrong answer. And yes, he was so bloody sure that I was Vietnamese. Well, it's fun to see peoples reaction when I tell them that nope, I am not Vietnamese. His reaction was maybe the funniest I've seen thus far. He was actually quite shocked and stunned. I asked him to lift his feet from the sofa he was sitting in, and then he  said "oh, you're Chinese!" in English and then started babbling in Chinese. And I  said: "I'm Chinese, but I don't speak Chinese". I have to write this in a haste, because I'm planning on watching the new episode of Skins. Yeaaahh mate! I hope Effy sorts everything out and becomes the Effy I love. But who knows? Everyone changes. Eww, just took my iron supplement-- I've been slacking a bit with the supplements, and I cannot wait for me to finish them. Anyway, another employee that I know from the last times I've washed in that kindergarten, asked me if I wanted a pancake. And I said "oh, no thanks, I'm fine". And she was like "no, but you can have one!". In which I answered "oh, but I really don't need one. It's not necessary". I just feel uncomfortable accepting things like food from the kindergarten. I've gotten ice lollies and food before, but that was because they've actually forced it into my hands. Proper Chinese thing-- when I was in China and went to this fancy restaurant, it started pouring down with rain after we were finished. And we were totally unprepared for rain, but we just decided to walk anyway. But then some of the employees at the restaurant offers to drive us all back home. When we had arrived to our stop, we tried to hand them some money, but they refused to accept. And then we were literally arguing about who was supposed to have the money. In the end we actually tossed the money into the cat and ran away before they could say anything. Anyway, the employee at the kindergarten then looked at me and asked "do you not like pancakes?", and I answered "I do like pancakes very much, but I don't need any". And she went back to making the pancakes for the children and said: "I'm just going to put a pancake on a plate so you can bring it with you to lunch". I didn't end up bringing it with me, just because I felt uncomfortable accepting a pancake, which, sounds ridiculous as I'm writing it now. But I love this employee, she's always been really nice to me. You know how I wrote about being oddly happy? Well, when I woke up at 6:00 am today, I felt really groggy. And I thought that maybe this would be the day where my happiness would be dampened. But once I got clothed and saw the beautiful weather, it was like I'd never been groggy. And my horoscope is confirming my current mood: "the lights of your awareness grow brighter and everything appears to be on the upswing. It's nearly impossible to be anything other than happy once the Moon dances into fun-loving Leo today". I'm a believer in my horoscope when it's true-- which is like 60% of the time. I've been listening to the playlists I got from Kiwi. I've named them after the covers: "Always know that the world is a better place with you in it" and "avocado". And it's sort of nice how I don't know the names of all the songs. I do prefer listening to it chronologically with my CD player, but I just listen to them with my phone when I'm at work, and it shuffles between the songs. I'm currently loving the Call Your Girlfriend cover by Jonas Alaska. I just love Call Your Girlfriend in general, and it's one of my favorite songs to sing when I'm just singing to myself. Something I forgot to tell you about yesterday-- a kid was speaking with another kid, and I suspect they are four years old or something. I just found it hilarious, because it's a matter of course to adults, but to kids at their age, it's a hard task. He told his friend: "hey, you know what I can do? I can open a door whilst holding a cracker". Aww, sweet sweet children. Anyway, messages have been flooring in on my phone throughout the whole day, and I really appreciate it. Although, I realised that when I recieved a message from Oyster at 3:00 am, I'm a very light sleeper. My phone does the tiniest vibration when it received a message, and apparently that was enough to wake me. I couldn't be bothered to answer it, because I knew I'd actually wake up properly if I did. And well, can't waste precious sleep when it's needed. I did read it this morning though, and well, to quote her "time to pop out some kidz guuurl". Oh dear, what if! I spend a lot of time trying to erase any information about me on Facebook, and well, I've sort of removed my age and birthday on Facebook. So whenever Kiwi says "hm, I can't find your birthday on my calendar, how odd", and Sugar looks over at me knowingly, I just stay silent. My efforts are sort of ruined when my pals decide to post birthday wishes on my Facebook wall, though. And oh god, my sister is the worst. She always tags me in a post. Oh alright, enough nagging- can't complain that I have lovely friends and family. Every time I write that I'm thankful or blessed, I feel a bit like I'm really religious. Which isn't really the case, but yes, I am very thankful. Err, my sister, her fiance and their baby is coming tonight. Driving from Aalesund. Oh, and the dogs too! I'd almost forgotten. It feels like ages since my sister and co has been here, but in reality it's only been a week or so. I am warning you though, for the next week and half, I might be a bit bad at updating my blog. It's just that with work, and having family over-- my schedule is usually a bit stuffed. But who knows, maybe I'll actually be really good at updating and things. Just know that you'll probably be showered with pictures of dogs-- which maybe Kiwi will enjoy, when I think of it. Alright-- thanks to those of my friends who have sent me messages, posted on my Facebook wall and posted pictures on Instagram. It's very very nice of you all, and you've put smiles to my face multiple times. Oh, this was supposed to be short. Gah. 

you’re always trying to see yourself through the eyes of someone else

Oh, is it eight o'clock already? I think I drew this on Friday? I just remember finding it odd that for once I wasn't going to make a card. Instead I just wanted to do something with a few Kodaline lyrics. Thing is, all the Kodaline songs are incredible lyric wise. And I especially love this sentence, because it's basically Carl Rogers. Only Sugar will understand this. Last night, shortly after posting on this blog, my boss called me. She asked me if I could possibly work this week too. And though it was incredibly short notice, I said yes. Because this was what I had originally planned anyway. The only negative thing is that it's supposed to be such great weather this week-- and now I have to be inside for most of the day. But it's fine too-- I've realised that I actually function very badly out in the heat. Last night I was sprawling around in my bed because it was so bloody warm inside. And I ended up sleeping for five hours. And maybe I should have been really cranky and unhappy about working more than planned. But I felt oddly at peace. It was really warm inside the kindergarten where I wash, and I thought I should maybe feel a bit annoyed and bitter. But I was again- feeling happy. I'm very fond of my summer job, because it gives me loads of time to think. For some people, I think it would be very lonesome. But I really enjoy my own company sometimes. And it's the perfect mix between quiet and noise. Sometimes I'll be all alone and it'll be silent. Other times the kids will follow me with their eyes, and they'll ask me my name and tell me random things. Like today, a boy told me he had new shoes, whilst lifting his foot towards me. And then he said he'd been at his cabin. And I was like "okay, cool". I don't think I ever could have actually worked in a kindergarten-- it's just too loud. But kids do- and say the funniest things. There's a specific memory I remember like yesterday. I was just mopping the floor, and this kid goes to sit under the sink, and he starts crying. So one of the employees at the kindergarten asks "What's the matter?". And the kid responds, pointing at another child (still crying) "she's staring at me!". I think all the adults laughed? I can't remember that part, but it was hilarious. I keep forgetting that I turn twenty tomorrow-- I went to the mall with my younger sister, and I told her I'd buy her a new pair of shorts if she wanted. Because she's been nagging about outgrowing all her shorts. And she was like "nah, I don't want you to do that". And I was like why?? And she said "I just feel like you're my sixteen year old sister, and I'd feel bad about it". I was outraged (not really), and exclaimed: "that's four years! I'm twenty tomorrow!". She shrugged and wrinkled her nose. "I'm just always going to see you as my sixteen year old sister". So if you think about it, I'm not turning twenty tomorrow, when I am in fact sixteen as my sister says. Anyway, I was going to the mall with a mission. My sister had ordered a package in my name, and I had to retrieve it. Also, since I got two copies of Babel by Mumford & Sons, I changed one of them to The Lumineers' CD. Alright, I have to go eat food. I need to get a bit more sleep tonight-- a car was blasting Man Down by Rihanna, and I though it was the ice cream car. Yeah, I might be a bit delirious?  I'll see you when I've turned twenty, ha-ha.