tirsdag 12. november 2013

I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go


Hello, "you are enough" is basically a title of a Sleeping At Last song (surprise), that I enjoy very much (love the Light EP in general) and thought suited to the subject I am about to elaborate on. I was speaking with Kiwi about "Prosjekt Perfekt", and we spoke about the pressure of looking good, and just being "perfect" after this societies rules. And, like, if I were not critical at all, and I'd have listened to every tip and what's considered "beautiful" and "perfect" in this society, I'd surely gone mad. I've put quotation marks around the words beautiful and perfect, because the meaning of the words are individual. What lies within the words are up to every individual. I think I once wrote that-- no, just realised it was something I wrote in my drawing book and took a picture of, and maybe posted onto my blog? Anyway, it was: nothing is ugly until someone says so. Like, honestly, it's we who decide what's considered beautiful and ugly. And I think therefore we ought to be smart enough to remember not to listen to all these things. And just think that you are enough, basically. I told Kiwi, that if I could learn the world a lesson, it would be to accept themselves. No matter how much you want to be Angelina Jolie, you'll never become her. Sure, you can do plastic surgery and everything, but it won't make you Angelina Jolie. You can only be the best you can be. And that is enough. If anyone makes you feel that you constantly need to change yourself, they're not worth your time. Honestly. You'll be so much happier if you just accept yourself, is the thing. Also, expectations from society is something humans have made, so it's completely fine to "break the rules". Don't be how everyone says you have to be, be yourself. Like, I'm not going to defend Miley Cyrus for everything she's doing, but I don't hate her. I think it's nice to see her be free and do whatever she wants. I'm just afraid she's trying to live up to expectations about how all the Disney people go "bad". Which again, expectations of the society. Okay, enough with the pep talk (although I am serious about what I just wrote). I really, really, really want dungarees. I don't care if they look ill-fitting and are unflattering. I just love them so much, it's ridiculous. Also, I'd love a blue coat. Yesterday I was stood in front of my closet, trying to figure out what I should wear today, and I had one of those "I've got nothing to wear". Oh, and yesterday I couldn't find it in myself to start writing my paper, when I was unsure of how to begin. So, I flipped my bed over, rolled out the yoga mat, and put on some fitting music. Did a stretching routine, because I'm really not flexible, which I realised after being tested in my flexibility by Marble and Kiwi the other day. And seriously, it hurt. Then I proceeded to do some leg exercises, because it's been awhile since I've done them. This is when my sister (Monchita) opened the door and asked me what I was doing. In the midst of her story, and me doing exercises, she asked: "isn't that like really exhausting?". Anyway, she had apparently had a whole school day of exercising, which sounded really nice, to be honest. There is something really satisfying to completely wear your body out. Anyway, after she decided she was done with telling me her stories of the day, I then proceeded to do some core exercises, which killed me. But, honestly, there was a point where my breath was loud and every second and I just wanted to lie down (was currently doing the plank after some kind of jumping exercise-thing-y) and have a cry. This was at the end of everything, so when I was still panting a bit, I put on some relaxing music and meditated for a good five minutes. It was very calming, and I did the same thing when I woke up today. It's very calming, and I think I'm going to try to fit into my morning- and night routine everyday. Although, maybe not when I'm sleeping over at someone-- that might be a bit awkward. Anyway, I had school today, and it was probably the most awkward meeting thus far. Not only did I manage to say that "our teacher is always late" the second my teacher walked inside the room. But then we were finished before the meeting was scheduled to end, so my teacher went "is there something more you want to discuss", and no one answered. And like, she just sat there, saying "erm" and "hmm" and all the things she does when it's quiet. And I honestly think we sat like that for minutes before one of the other students in my group broke the silence and asked if we were done. Ha, it was just so awkward. Thus far my teacher has been very kind with everything, but she's really strict about deadlines, so the new paper is supposed to be done within two weeks. It's nice, though, because it means I'll have three weeks without having to worry about any papers to prepare for my exam. I'm just a bit worried about how I'll manage to get it all finished. But you know, what does Tim from Project Runway always say? Make it work! Oh goodness, imagine Tim Gunn coming inside your bedroom every hour to ask how it's going and then say "make it work". Like, I can just imagine it. Hilarious is what it is. Okay, now I seriously have to go to the loo (Kiwi's voice), and then start working on my paper. To summarise, be yourself (which means you have to accept yourself-- your flaws and everything, oooh, made me think of Bastille, and now I'm sad because I've not got a ticket to their show on Friday) and make things work. Solutions is the answer!

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