fredag 14. februar 2014

Å holde pusten

«Å holde pusten er en roman om å få besøk fra barnevernet, om å ha en kjæreste som ligner på en firfisle, og venner som lever i en annen virkelighet. Det handler om å ha en mor som er syk, en far i Kristiansand, en lillesøster som ikke vil på skolen. Å holde pusten er en historie om en seksten år gammel jente. Den handler om å være barn, og om å holde på å bli voksen. Men mest av alt handler det om å holde ut. Holde fast. Og holde sine egne folk samlet».

Det kommer en dag i tredje klasse på videregående skole at norsklæreren begynner å prate om forslag til bøker å lese til særemnet. Alle begynner å lete etter bøker, og klikker seg frem på internett for å se om bøkene finnes i filmer. Ved denne tiden hadde jeg allerede lest ferdig fire bøker av Jostein Gaarder, selv om vi kun trengte å lese tre. Appelsinpiken, Sofies verden, Kabalmysteriet og I et speil, i en gåte. Men til tross for at jeg brukte sommeren på å lese meg klok på filosofi, endte jeg opp med å bruke oppvekstromaner til særemnet. Og slik blusset kjærligheten min for oppvekstromaner opp. Så når jeg så Å holde pusten av Agate Øksendal Kaupang på ARK bokhandel, stoppet jeg. Jeg så forsiden, og det var det som trenges for å stoppe meg. Det er en kort bok, med små glimt inn i livet til protagonisten. Og disse glimtene er så brutalt ærlige at det noen ganger kan oppleves litt ubehagelig. Her om dagen sa veilederen min at vi må lære å kjenne på de ubehagelige følelsene i stedet for å dytte de bort. For hjernen vil registrere det som viktig informasjon, og ubevisstheten vil dytte det frem igjen når du minst venter det. Så nå har jeg bestemt meg for at jeg ikke skal unngå ubehageligheter. Jeg syntes at romanen var fin, jeg som liker oppvekstromaner, jeg som liker å lese om dysfunksjonelle familier. Det både vondt og godt å lese boka. Vondt fordi jeg er innehaver av noe som kalles empati, og jeg har en forkjemper i meg som ønsker godt oppvekstmiljø for barn. Godt, fordi det belyser mye, bevisstgjør også mye for folk som ikke har så mye peiling. Godt fordi det er mange fine, hjerteskjærende skildringer. Og forfatteren, hun er jammen meg født i 1993. Det er imponerende og inspirerende. Så alt i alt, jeg er glad for at jeg har lest boka, men jeg tror ikke den kan anbefales til alle. For de som ikke liker litt triste bøker, så er kanskje ikke denne det beste valget. Men om man noen gang ønsker å lese en litt trist bok i løpet av livet, så bør man gi den en sjanse. 

onsdag 12. februar 2014

I wanna thrill you like Michael, I wanna kiss you like Prince

In the mornings I listen to 8tracks playlists, just because I've not found any new music. And my morning jam this week has definitely Classic by MKTO. Listen to it in the morning, and tell me you don't smile because of it. I was actually in bed at 9:20 pm yesterday, just because my body felt really tired. I woke up strangely sore in my body. Strangely, because I usually get sore two days after I exercise. Don't ask me why, but I do. Started reading the book I've been wanting to read, and it's so heart wrenchingly sad. I've not had more time to read other than when I was having my breakfast, so I guess I'll finish it tomorrow. Another day at "praksis", and another good one. I had a really interesting discussion with other staff and my nurse supervisor's daughter of all people. Opened my eyes a bit, actually. I also spent quite a bit of time with patients today. I grinned so much because of my primary patient's progress that my jaw ached afterwards. After "praksis" I awkwardly ate a yoghurt at the train into town. I say awkwardly because I don't necessarily like eating in places you're not supposed to be eating. Also because the train was quite full. But health comes before most things, so I couldn't really be bothered. I went into town because I had to stop by my school library. Seems like all I do is to stop by library's these (two) days. Nah, but it was strange, because it feels like I've not been to town for a thousand years. It has actually been two weeks, if I'm not wrong. So that's quite long, in my opinion. Anyway, got home at 5:45 pm, had some food and now I'm here relaxing a bit before I need to write my log for tomorrow. I'd almost forgotten about it, but one of my (many) supervisors are going to look through Sally and I's logs, so that means I'll have to get it done today. I'm excited for tomorrow, because Sally is back. And because tomorrow's agenda at "praksis" is a bit exciting. My goodness, Louis Tomlinson has become a big brother yet again. Congratulations to Tommo. I hope there will be baby pictures, because awww. It appears that these days I make heart-eyes at both babies and dogs. Thought I was going to whine out loud because of this miniature schnauzer I saw today. It was so precious, bah. And then there was a little boy at the bus who played "let's look at that stranger and then hide behind the seat, and then I'll do it all over again". And he was so adorable. I sound like a proper softie, don't I? Anyway, it's the weekend tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it. But first of all, I need to finish my log. 

tirsdag 11. februar 2014

love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections

All of Me by John Legend has been on repeat the past 24 hours. It's really nice. Yesterday I almost missed the bus because the fan fiction I was reading was so captivating. I looked up from where I was sat on a bench, and I realised it was only two minutes until the bus was supposed to leave the platform. Today was another fun day at "praksis", but I got a little head ache after inhaling the scent of paint for too long. I suspect it has a lot to do with the fact that I've not gotten nearly enough water the past few days. So now I've been feeding myself water upon water. Anyway, I went to the library right after "praksis" and I found three books I want to read despite all the work I already have. One of them I've been wanting to read for months, actually. So I can't wait to start reading it. I'm going to enjoy myself and catch up on all the things I want to catch up on until 6:00 pm, and then it's exercise, shower, school work and bed. Very exciting days, I have. Nah, but I'm really knackered today, and I'm already counting down the days for the weekend, which is in two days. So, basically nothing. Also, ever since I decided to get more sleep, it means I've got less time dedicated to my spare time, so it feels like all I do these days are school work. Which, is quite true. 

mandag 10. februar 2014

I wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother

I can't remember when I bought Teenage Dreams by Katy Perry. But I must have, or someone must have given it to me. But I think I bought it myself. And trust me, I've listened to this CD loads. So it was definitely worth the money. I was just reminded of it yesterday, because I chose to listen to it when I was exercising yesterday, and I'd forgotten how much I love it. Also, the title of this blogpost is from the song Circle The Drain, which I love the lyrics for. Especially this part: "You fall asleep during foreplay cause the pills you take, are more your forte". It's hilarious. Anyway, I just screamed really loud in annoyance because one of the people I follow on Tumblr had been to a Kodaline concert yesterday. It feels like someone's rubbing dirt in my wound, really. Oh well, I'm healthy and I have freedom of speech. Latter is a human right, I'm pretty sure, but sadly not everyone gets to take advantage of that. Allie and I actually had a proper discussion around that topic today at lunch. About Olympics and whatnot, and she told me she'd been apprehensive about watching it too. For similar reasons as mine. I do actually love watching cross country skiing. But it makes me feel a bit sick, to think that the Olympics are arranged in a country that basically doesn't allow for freedom of speech, and so many other things I can't find myself to write here. It gives me associations to another time, and it's sad to see that in 2014, we're still at this stage. Anyway, it's strange, how you get to know bits and pieces of people. Allie and I had a little discussion around a book we both read for "praksis", and it turns out she's a book lover, as I am. If not, more. I am so pleased, and it reminded me of a picture Sugar shared with me a few days ago, actually. It's been a slow day at "praksis" today, and I really did notice Sally's absence. Also, I'm not actually used to be there on Mondays, so it was slightly confusing. Anyway, I noticed a new scrape on my knee this morning, still concerned about how I get them. But now I'm going to get myself a cuppa, and maybe something to eat, and perhaps a piece of cake. And then I'm going to write on my paper, and send e-mails to my teacher. Hope everyone's having a brilliant Monday. 

søndag 9. februar 2014











I read this, and I laughed. And then I cried, then I cried some more. I wish I knew who made this, but I don't.