Viser innlegg med etiketten jupiter by sleeping at last. Vis alle innlegg
Viser innlegg med etiketten jupiter by sleeping at last. Vis alle innlegg

tirsdag 29. april 2014

While collecting the stars, I connected the dots. I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not.

(My brother looked at the gin tonic in my hand, before he looked me in the eyes and told me it was an old man's drink. I shrugged and took a sip anyway). It's hard to get away from expectations in life, it seems like wherever I go there's always some. My teacher tells everyone that they have to improve their papers, before she turns to me and says mine is point on. I look slightly embarrassed, and point out all the things I didn't do right. My sister says to her best friend about me: "she's the good one in the family, the proper one with her head screwed on right". I just smile along because it's easier than to explain. My friend once told me that my parents must be so proud of me, because I'd never done anything wrong. And I wondered to myself if they really are, if it's true. All these kind words turns into expectations that becomes etched into my brain, and I find myself wishing they weren't. I might appear wise for my own age, and I might say things that sounds like I've got my head screwed on right. But some days I'm stuck inside my own head and I cannot pull myself away from deprecating thoughts about life and myself. Remember there's always another side of the story. You see things I don't, and I see things you don't. (I might carry my purse around everywhere like a little old lady, and I might enjoy a gin tonic which my brother says is an old man's drink. But I'm not old in experiences, and I'm certainly not the person you think I am).