if I'm louder, would you see me?

I nearly started crying when I realised there wasn't any Lion chocolate bars left when I got home. Only the thought that I do have some chocolate stash left saved me from having a tantrum. I'm just so tired. I've not been 100% in days, and today I tried being 100% whilst really being 80%. So at the end of the day, I was feeling really lousy. Head pounding, sleepy. But I had errands to do, so I ended up at the mall on a Saturday, and it was overwhelming. So many people in my way, and I was dressed in so much wool I thought I was going to pass out. I look fine, apart from some newly acquired hormone spots. However, it feels like I have under-eye circles that could compete with my Halloween costume make-up. Had you seen my make-up, you'd know that I basically looked like someone had given me black bruises. Last time I felt akin to this was that time I had a breakdown at my belieber friend's place. But, BUT, there's always good things: I worked with a good doctor today, and I had pretty great patients. I got my passport with a visa back. I finally got around to buying new envelopes, and I even bought pretty notebooks for planning. There's handball on television tonight. I get to eat chocolate today. Oh my god, it's been a long while since chocolate tasted this good. I am a perfect stereotype for a girl on her period, jeez. I read that Louis (Tomlinson) had his baby yesterday, and reading that almost made me cry again. I'm going to spend these next days crying, it feels like. I'm really looking forward to some days off to recuperate, and get back to good ol' me. I had strange dreams last night. One half was travelling to China, then basically staying at the hotel for the whole week. And I had to climb through another persons window in order to get to my own room. Other half started like a creepy three-way porno. Yes, you heard me. Then it ended up being more like a romantic sci-fi, because the protagonist went out in the ocean, and then there was a kind of spaceship with a man who brought the protagonist with him to another world. They were destined to be together, which he knew, but she didn't. It was strange, all of it. 

I've never had the words to say, but now I'm asking you to stay for a little while inside my arms

Hiya, I am not made to speak. Like, my words are all tumbled, and blah. Just, yes, I think I was made to not speak. Anyway, I bloody knew there were something I'd forgotten yesterday. You know that feeling when you know you're supposed to do something, but you can't remember just what it is. I had that feeling yesterday, and I realised this morning that I'd forgotten to do a few online courses I was supposed to be finished with today. Oh well, can't do everything right. Today was a very relaxed day, as we'd gotten permission to spend the day on our paper. So basically, Sally, Allie and I was sat in the canteen for the most of the day. And it was nice for several reasons. One being that we were able to talk and reflect about our experiences. And I think we all agreed today that we're so bloody thankful for our own lives. "Praksis" is basically just flying by like the wind these days. Next week we'll already be halfway through it. I expect it to go a bit slower the next few weeks, though. Just because I've learned so much these past weeks, which I'm guessing is the reason as to why I feel like it's gone by so fast. Our teacher made some rearranges in her schedules, so tomorrow we're not even going to our "praksis". Just straight to school. I was originally supposed to have a night shift tomorrow, and school on Thursday. But these things happen, and life is unpredictable. I'm just a bit sad that means I won't get to see my patient that much this week. Oh well, saw her briefly today, and she seemed happy. But that's my interpretation. Who knows what hides behind a smile? Since we spent our day writing, we'd brought along our computers and curriculum relevant to our paper, which means my backpack was really heavy. And because my bus only goes twice an hour, I usually just leg it, if I've missed the most recent bus. Because I'd rather walk a 15 minute walk, than wait 30 minutes for a bus to come along. But today, I must admit, I would probably have enjoyed to just wait for the bus a lot more. Instead I walked, and my back didn't really appreciate it that much. Oh well. I'm currently watching One Direction performances from the last tour, because I'm being sulky, and dealing with my 1D withdrawals (obviously this is an exaggeration, and you should probably use the word "withdrawal" correctly. Don't follow my lead) by reading fan fiction upon fan fiction and whatnot. Their new music video for Midnight Memories comes out on Friday, which happens to be the day that I'm meeting up with the kilo-gang. It's very suiting as our meet up is in line with One Direction. Alright, I ought to go exercise and then be productive and stuff. (I'm just going to listen to One Direction sing More Than This acoustic first..).