I can keep a secret safe for awhile, maybe I'm a liar

Let's talk about Harry Styles. I saw a picture of him doing whatever he's doing in L.A., but what caught my eyes were his boots. Finally something else than chelsea boots, and they look so lovely. The fact that this is what I chose to concentrate on probably says a lot about me. Also, apart from being jealous that Harry is friends with the rest of One Direction, I am now also jealous of him because he attended a Kodaline concert. I'm really jealous of that, and a bit bitter. Anyway, when I walked outside today, I only had one minute until the bus was supposed to arrive. So when I realised it was chucking down with the biggest snow flakes, I only had time to curse myself for not wearing something more sensible. So I was stood outside in my converse and coat. Without an umbrella or hat or anything. The snow flakes were the kind that melts the second it touches the ground, which means I got rather drenched. It was rather unpleasant, to be honest. I'd much rather walk inside and change into wellies and a raincoat. But it was too late, couldn't take the chance and miss my bus. I was at school today-- Allie, Sally and I decided that we needed to work on our papers, and we've strangely been working at them together. I say strangely, because most often I enjoy sitting by myself. Sally said: "sometimes you're too smart for my liking". I shrugged, told her: "that's your interpretation. It's a subjective meaning, alas it's not necessarily true". I earned a kick to the shin for that. Tomorrow we're going to dine and have a little quiz in preparation for our final assessment for our "praksis". My teacher did say that she wouldn't be that hard on us this time. But I'm not quite sure I believe her. Out of all the meetings we've had, I feel today's was the most beneficial. And I'm so glad my teacher listened to us, when we said we didn't want the usual set up for our meetings. Well, when I say we said we didn't want it, I mean: I whined and put my head onto the table and said "noooooo" when it was presented that we were having yet another workshop. At this point it was only one other student in the room because the others had gone to the loo, and some had yet to show up. The other student also said "noooooo". And we went into an explanation as to why it didn't work with workshops. And to my great pleasure she said ok, and that we'd do things differently. I've had a long day, and I had a long day yesterday too. I actually went straight into my bed when I got home yesterday, because I was just so tired. I didn't like fall asleep, but I just couldn't be bothered to move. Until I exercised and had a shower, that is. And in the midst of brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed, Ale called. She had called earlier, when I was at "praksis", but it didn't give us time to chat properly, so we agreed to a call later on. And later on turned out to be in the midst of me brushing my teeth. So I rushed to the bathroom to spit out, crossing my fingers she wouldn't hang up before I'd managed to be somewhat decent. And she didn't, so we chatted for awhile, which was nice. I said to her earlier, that it was nice to hear her voice. And I found that whilst she was retelling me things, retelling her reactions to things, I could imagine it so vividly in my head. Anyway, at the end of the call, I was almost lulled to sleep, very calm. And I think maybe I should stop with my usual routine of listening to a song before I fall asleep. Because it's working too well, which means I fall asleep with the ear buds in my ears. And it can get uncomfortable. Especially when I wake up to realise I'm lying on top of them. Oh well, I ought to try get my paper done. And my log. Next week I'll be done. Done with this "praksis", and it will be such a relief. And I wonder, a few months ahead in time I'll probably be listening to music on my phone when it's on shuffle. And then it'll stop on a song that reminds me of one of my earlier "praksis"-es. And I wonder what song will remind me of this "praksis". 

feels like war, raise your love

I've given up on hoping that the snow will disappear. Because once it does melt away, it's like the weather gods goes: "oh, there's almost no trace of snow anymore" "oh dear, we can't let the humans think it's going to be spring yet" "I agree, let's make some more snow". For some unknown reason, I slept really bad last night. Like, I did fall asleep around 10:00 pm. But then I woke up at 2:00 am, wide awake, and I didn't know why I was awake. So I figured I'd go to the loo, figured maybe that was the reason. But when I got back into bed, I was just lying awake, trying to force myself into sleep. Until it was about 3:00 am, and I gave up a bit. I checked my Twitter and Instagram, before I decided trying to fall asleep again. And I did, I think. But I must have slept very lightly, because I woke up multiple times, with the lingering feeling of close to no sleep at all. I especially felt it, when it was 5:45 am, and it felt like I'd gotten no sleep at all. One of the staff at my "praksis" saw me yawning, asked if I was tired. I said to her I'd had a sleepless night. And she laughed, told me she could barely sleep these days. And it made me realise that I should be happy I can even get sleep these days. The pro's of being young, innit? I can't imagine having to be feeling the way I felt, and feel today, except feel it every day. My eyes really have been burning with residue of sleep today, and whilst I was sat at the bus station, waiting for my bus, I imagined myself at home in bed. And I thought bitterly, that I probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyway. Though I've been feeling rather tired the past two days, it hasn't effected my mood that much, nothing I could point out anyway. Instead I've been feeling stupidly happy, which made me think that maybe I'm happier when I'm tired. After a bit of pondering, I figured it was probably just me being easily amused by everything due to over tiredness. As I mentioned yesterday, the bus I take is often filled with people with disabilities-- or maybe I didn't mention it. Nevertheless, there are a lot of the same people each day. And today one happened to sit down beside me. I've taken a note to that she seems very unaware to social norms, likes to sing loudly sometimes. She was pretty mesmerised with texting on her phone, and I was in my own world, staring out the window. The only interaction was when she asked me what my bus stop was, before she went back to her phone. And then, when my bus stop came, she poked me with her arm, announcing that it was my bus stop. I was strangely endeared by that, like she felt she had to take care of me. And it made me smile so wide the whole walk to "praksis" from my bus stop. I feel like I'm so happy these days, and it almost feels a bit too strange. Anyway, whilst watching the Burberry Prorsum show the other day, I fell in love with one of the songs played. Raise Your Love by Rhodes. I do actually enjoy it a lot more live. I just think his voice is really nice, and the song is really lovely. Everything's just really lovely and nice and pretty and perfect and awesome and bah. I've been thinking, when I get into these moods, I seem to get blinded, like I can only see positives. And the opposite when I'm unhappy. And it's like my teacher said, when I said I thought I'd been really lucky with all my previous "praksis"-es, "maybe it's the way you see it". Maybe it's my twisted brain that let's in all the sensory impressions which I regard as positive. And I think yes, she was right about that. I know for a fact that whilst I thought my first "praksis" was really good, J.D. thought it was quite shite. We see what we want to see. Anyway, we had a school meeting today, which Allie, Sally and I thought was at 1:30 pm. Allie drove us all, like she did last time too. We arrived at school at 1:50 pm, and we all bought us some hot chocolate. And then we proceeded to walk inside a wrong room, where there were sat two girls watching the sprint finals in cross country skiing. By that time, it was 1:30 pm, and there were no sign of the other people in my "praksis" group, which made me think that we were in the wrong room. And that we was, because a second later I got a text from Kiwi asking where we were. I called her, and she gave me the correct room number, which happens to be a tiny room made for a lot less than we all are. So when Allie, Sally and I arrived, the whole room was cramped. My brain registered the books on the table, the amount of people that had arrived and the time. So it was only natural that I asked what my brain had concluded with: "did we start at 1:00 pm?". My teacher said yes, and Allie looked slightly embarrassed, and Sally looked at me, probably to recognise that I had been right. Because at the counter, whilst buying the hot chocolate, I told Sally that I'd written 1:00 pm in my phone. But she said it was 1:30 pm, and I believed her, because it's been so much back and forth with the times and dates. However, my teacher is so ridiculously relaxed about these kind of things. At least it seems like she is with us, and I think she must like us extra much. I'm sure we're great pupils to have, surely. Haha, no, but I'm going to miss having her as a teacher. I need to have some kind of structure, and I dread the day we have to go back to our old teacher. She's just too vague and has no structure and blah. But have to take the good with the bad, and had I not had a bad teacher, I wouldn't recognise a good one. This is one of the things I do, and I'm sure my friends will recognise it-- I justify things, and when there's complaints about something, I always try to look at the positive sides of the case. And I'm sure my friends sometimes gets very annoyed about this. Today was the first time I think I might have done the same thing with Sally. We were complaining about how we feel like these school meetings maybe feels a bit like a waste. But then I turned it around, and brought out the positives. And she just huffed with a laugh, "alright, alright". Anyway, I'm going to write on my log for this week, and then I'll have to eat, and then I'm going to watch a bit of the #BRITAwards. The arrivals have already started, 1D (or D1 as Marble wrote yesterday) will be arriving soon, according to Niall. I really can't wait, and it's so ridiculous how giddy I am with anticipation. Just to see them all gathered again. Absolutely pathetic, I am. Goodness gracious. Alright then, this has been far too long. Soz for boring content, I literally can't believe it sometimes, how you actually read these things. Have a nice Wednesday evening xx.

I was just a young child

Hiyaaaaaa! The Burberry show was actually quite amazing in my opinion. I'm happy they've chosen to do live music once again. I loved the summery feel of the collection, and I thought there were so many nice prints, albeit a bit confusing. Some pieces of clothing were in flower and/or leaf prints, but the colour combination made them look a bit more tribal. And the coats are always to die for, really. Cara Delevingne looked stunning, and she's got this attitude that I think all the other models were lacking. The sight of Harry Styles didn't surprise me too much, I mean, he's been a regular attender at the Burberry Prorsum show's the past few years. He looked good as always, and very Harry-esque. What I am most excited about is the colour of his coat, because it reminded me of these chairs I saw the other week, which made me dream about a plush wooden green coloured sofa. My allusions, ha. Harry was later on spotted with Grimmy, which made me really happy, because I love their friendship. I did hope that they would both attend the Burberry show, but I'm not sure if Harry has ever been on a Burberry Prorsum show for men? My knowledge doesn't stretch that far. Anyway, today has been a bit tiring. I don't know why, because I slept for a decent amount of time. However, my eyes were burning in the morning, and I've been sleepy throughout the whole day. It was an exciting day at "praksis", and I got to come along to a lot of things. Also had a chat with my nurse supervisor, who I think is far too good at praising me. She's going to give me a big ego, probably. On the way to the bus station today, the colours in the sky were beautiful, and it just made me grin. Manically, probably. And on my way back home, I sat down beside a man with downs syndrome, and he was so lovely. Asked if I could sit beside him, and he answered: "yes, that would be cozy", before he started talking to me. Just added to the positives of my day. I strangely enough met Monchita when I got off the bus, because she was on her way to the mall. She informed me that we were having pizza today, which made me even happier, because it's been a crave I've been wanting for a long time. And it seems like it's done now, so I'll have to go and eat. Have a nice Tuesday!