I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment. But it was never just fun and I thought you were different

There's something about full-on rain that gives a very lovely atmosphere (unless you're outside, drowning in the rain), and it makes me go prepare a cuppa and some biscuits. My window is halfway open so I can listen to the soothing sounds of the splashing rain and the scent it gives. I'm playing Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran from the Multiply album. I went to bed listening to his Multiply gig in Dublin, and I've almost finally admitted to myself that maybe his newest album isn't a very big favourite of mine. I'm not quite sure if he wants to change his image, but I think his sound has evolved a lot since the last album. And that's good, I suppose. But I'm a sucker for simple songs, so I've not completely thrown myself at the bandwagon. However, the first song I've really gotten attatched to, is actually Don't. I was humming along to it all day yesterday. And it's an upbeat song, so who knows. I try to never say I won't ever like an album, because I believe that I might not like that new Drake album (for example) right now. But in a years time, maybe I will. Or maybe in five years. And if I still don't fall in love with the upbeat songs on the Multiply album, I still have Tenerife Sea which is a very "Ed Sheeran" song. I'm actually listening to BBC Radio 1 right now with Annie Mac, and Ed Sheeran is playing in the Live Lounge later, so I'm looking forward to it. I woke up at 8:00 am this morning, in hope to have the living room for myself. I really enjoy having my breakfast in silence, just staring out of the window. At 8:30 am, I got an incoming Facetime call from David. He and I had a bit of a chat whilst having breakfast together. "Are you going to take another bite with me?" "Yeah!". He also made me blow on his scratches through the screen. He's so chatty these days, so I ended up talking with him for half an hour probably. He was talking about how his mum was preparing coffee, and he was like "ew, I don't like coffee". I answered "neither do I. Coffee is for grown ups". Then he said that he liked water, not coffee. And then we had toasted through the screens, which made him notice my One Direction cup. "You have a man on your cup," he exclaimed. He's so precious. Ah, I forgot that it's Thursday already. It's the final day of that basic traffic knowledge course, which I'm really looking forward to. I'd like to take back my freedom please. This weekend and the next week I actually need to try finishing the books I've borrowed. I've barely started reading the first book, and I've had it since Sunday. I think the hardest part about starting a book, is the beginning. If it doesn't immediately tickle my interests, I have to force myself to plough through. Not necessarily because it's boring, but I always have a hard time with that bit. I'm going to see if I can read a bit of that whilst listening to Ed Sheeran. Oh my god, Ed covered Stay With Me by Sam Smith. That's like my ultimate dream scenario! Two of my absolute favourites? And one of my favourite songs since March. It's my lucky day, I think. I ought to get something to eat soon. Have a nice Thursday! 

you didn't need to take him to bed that's all. And I never saw him as a threat until you disappeared with him to have sex of course

Though I sometimes curse myself for ever getting into the One Direction fandom on Tumblr, I am mostly glad that I did. Through my teenage years (and probably before that), I've always been a fan of someone or something. And I think my love for being a fan of someone, is because to a sense of collectivism. It's been going through my mind lately, because I remember loving it back when I was a "russ"-- how we all just seemed to have the same purpose. I remember spending afternoons with my childhood friend cutting out images of Kylie Minogue. And I guess it's the same now with the One Direction fandom. The reason for why I am glad that I got sucked into the fandom on Tumblr, is because it introduced me to fan fiction. And I know most people on the outside think down on fan fiction. I'm not blaming anyone, because I probably would too. We're all humans and filled with prejudice-- we can only try to change that prejudice, I suppose. But since I am well known with fan fiction, I know it's not all just crap. And I've said it so many times-- sometimes I read fan fiction that's better than proper novels. And I've read bloody many novels. It's come to a point where I'll read a book, and I'll actually compare it to a fan fiction. What I enjoy the most, probably, is the fact that the writers of fan fictions are fans as well, and they're so easy to reach. It's a great thing, this Tumblr, because it's allowed me to create relationships with people all over the world, and it's just amazing, I think. It's nice to log onto my Tumblr and see a new message in my inbox from one of my favourite writers to see "how are you?". It's amazing how some people have bonded over things they have in common and become proper friends in real life. (This is not a suggestion for you to create a Tumblr and meet someone through it. Remember the dangers about these kind of things). Yesterday I stopped everything I was doing because I found a long Narry (Niall and Harry) fan fiction. It's very rare that I come across a long and good fan fiction about those two, so I was chuffed to find it yesterday. I think it's mostly because both Niall and Harry are quite hard to write, if you're supposed to write their proper personality and not an alternative universe. Because you have people who are quite easy to figure out and read, but then you have people like them who are harder to read. Because you can have a picture of them in your head, but then they could suddenly do something completely unexpected that makes you rearrange your picture of them. But yes, I finished reading the fan fiction today, and it was so good. It's a fiction about the future, and it made me crawl in on myself a bit because it was such a realistic scenario. The worst part about reading long fan fictions or novels, is the part where it's only a few pages left, and you don't want it to end. I hate that. And I hate that despite rereading something, it won't ever feel like the first time. Anyway, so I'm having this course about basic knowledge about road traffic, and most of the people there are kids. Or, like teenagers between 15-18. And I've never felt happier about being 20, because I can honestly see them doubt themselves. Like whenever the instructor/teacher asks about something, only a few have guts enough to attempt an answer. Just looking at them makes me remember the insecurity of being 16 and cowering from the teachers sight because I was afraid to answer incorrectly. I try not to reach my hand up too much, although I know the answers to a lot of the things asked, just because I think they should have a try. Sometimes if you wait long enough, the kids that initially doubts their own answer will be brave and try anyway. I am glad I am no longer 16, because I don't care much about these things any more. I'll give it a guess and shrug if I'm wrong. My brother got home yesterday for a brief visit, it appears. He's on his way back now because he and his friend borrowed a rental car to drive down with their belongings. So they have to drive the car back. I guess he'll fly back shortly. Yesterday I had my first pieces of watermelon this year. It was so good. The weather outside looks quite grey, and it's been raining a bit. I do enjoy a few grey days in between all the lovely weather. Anyway, today I have to pop by the library to fetch a few books. Hopefully I'll manage to finish reading all of the books in good time. Don't by Ed Sheeran is quite the tune, I think. And if the rumours of the background of the song is correct, then, well. Good on you, Sheeran, getting your emotions down on the paper. Though I don't hope he's actually gone name dropping, trying to tell the world who the song is about. Because that's very "Taylor Swift" of him. Anyway, I am actually going now. Have a great wednesday!