it all comes and goes, all these woes

Natt til tirsdag sovnet jeg ikke før 3.20. Hadde lagt meg for å sove ved midnatt, og hver gang jeg trodde jeg kjente at søvnen skulle komme, så blunket jeg og var lys våken igjen. Leste fan fiction for å bli trøtt, gikk igjennom Instagram-feeden utallige ganger. Til slutt var det Niall Horan som var løsningen. Når jeg har mye i tankene, så fokuserer jeg på Niall Horan, og det gjør at jeg sovner. Rart? Altså, rart at det er Niall Horan kanskje, men det er nok ikke en så uvanlig metode å ha et fokuspunkt. Jeg kan heller ikke skryte av god søvn natt til i dag. I tillegg var jeg så heldig at jeg våknet opp med tett nese og sår hals. Jeg er bare nødt til å krysse fingrene for at jeg ikke blir verre, og at jeg får et par dager med god søvn før jeg skal ha nattevakter. Den gode tingen med dette, er at jeg innser hvor heldig jeg er som oftest har gode netter med søvn. Det er en av tingene jeg frykter mest, å få insomnia. I går dro jeg til min belieber friend. Vi dro selvfølgelig på senteret, hvor vi begge dro hjem med nye ting. Jeg kjøpte meg en lue fordi jeg ikke finner noen av de andre luene mine, og temperaturen er så himla lav. Jeg kjøpte meg også en ny treningstights som jeg har sett på før. Nå må jeg virkelig stoppe meg selv i flere kjøp fremover i tiden, men må innrømme at begge disse kjøpene var nødvendige. Det er bare den sminken jeg bestilte forrige dagen som kanskje ikke var nødvendig, åh. Vi lagde wok, og jeg prøvde den nye sofaen. Forloverkjolen er godkjent, og min belieber friend oppmuntret t.o.m. bruk av glitter-skoene mine. Vi så på tv, spilte Sims og pratet. Ofte føler jeg det er en spesiell atmosfære når jeg er hos min belieber friend og Darren. De er ikke gift ennå, men de er som et gammelt ektepar. Vi så på Grey's Anatomy, og jeg så Jesse Williams, eller "Dr. Avery". Og jeg innså noe om meg selv. Jeg har alltid trodd jeg foretrekker "tall, dark, handsome", men i følge historien min, så er det absolutt ikke det. Føler at Dr. Avery er typen som kan føre til åpenbaringer. Sannsynligheten for at jeg plutselig begynner å grine i dag er nok stor. Det er ikke i sammenheng med Dr. Avery, men at jeg kjenner at jeg ikke har fått nok søvn. Teen Wolf fortsetter å overraske, og ligne noe som en skrekkfilm innimellom. Det var en scene som gav meg assosiasjoner til Silent Hill, og gav meg grøssinger. Den viktige tingen jeg skulle gjøre på mandag gjorde jeg i dag, siden jeg glemte av det i går. Og ting føles liksom litt lettere i kroppen. Det er mange store ting som skal skje i 2016, og dermed er det mye tungt som henger over meg. Og da er det deilig å plukke en og en ting fra skuldrene. 

It made a mark upon the paper, a mark that could not be rubbed out.

Today I woke up due to my phone plinging. I'd forgotten to put it on mute. It was about 10 am anyway, so I figured I'd had a decent amount of sleep already. I told my pals that I wanted to have a night out in the near future, and that was one of the conversations. On a conversation between my belieber friend and I, we planned to hang out today. I didn't get out of bed until 11.38 (yes, I'm a lazy arse), and we were supposed to meet 12.30. It ended up being more like 12.45. But still, I barely managed to have something to eat. We went to a mall filled with interior. I've wanted to go there for months, and we finally went today. I ended up buying another gift for my nephew's christening, and my belieber friend bought the coolest picture frame. I think it's wonderful, and if I had an excuse myself, I would've bought one too. We went to the grocery store to buy things for a barbecue, then we waited for the boat which took us to an island. After a bit of exploring, we found a good spot to settle. Once we'd put down our towels and lighted our disposable grill, we went to have a swim. It's like the end of August, and it's my first swim this year (I'm pretty sure). It was lovely, and I forget how much I enjoy it. I'm not actually used to salt water, so it was interesting licking my lips after ducking under the water. After staying out in the water for probably 15 minutes or so, we headed back in to put on our sausages on the grill. I actually had four, whereas my belieber friend had three. When it comes to hot-dogs, I can eat helluva lot. We went for another swim. Swam into the waves, then after a flock of ducks, and then just wherever. I think we stayed out longer that time. It's weird because I barely looked at my phone, and my watch was buried deep into my bag, so I didn't actually have any sense of time. We got back to our towels and sat down, talked, caught up I guess. And before I knew it, it was 6.30 pm. On the boat back, we decided to sit up on the deck, and it was so lovely. Sunshine, breeze from the sea and a happy crowd. It just really felt like a proper summer day. We ate an ice lolly each, before we parted our ways with promises to meet up tomorrow as well. I told my belieber friend that I was looking for adventures, told her to tell me if she found some. And although she wont take credit, she made an adventure for us today. I'm going to watch Teen Wolf now, before I go to bed. It's getting closer to half of the season ending, and I'm hoping maybe there will be some answers. But previous episodes tells me I'll probably end up like a question mark this time too. Bonne nuit! (yes, I'm still pretending I'm in France) 

I put three daisies in the notebook and watched the petals all fall out

"We learn the most brutal ways," my boss told me in the morning, and I thought yes. But we also get the greatest rewards. And I guess that's why we continue. I've crossed yet another day off my list, and my last shift this summer is tomorrow. I just finished watching "My kid and me" by Casey Neistat, which felt a lot like reading a really great book, when in truth it's a twenty minute video about a dad and his son. It was lovely, brought a tear to my eye, and seriously, some people are amazing at creating videos, films. To manage to produce a product that makes people smile, laugh and cry is quite extraordinary when you think of it. I sometimes think I'm twenty-three, though I only recently turned twenty-two. Marble agreed with me, said she also thinks it sometimes. It's like each year counted, then I turned twenty, and after that it didn't feel like it mattered anymore. Now it's only 25, 30, 35, 40, 45- etcetera, that matters. Maybe it's not that they don't matter, it's just that the years seem to fly so quickly away. Maybe you only stop up at the 25s, 30s, 35s--- because you have a crisis: "where the hell did all the time go?". I see a lot of illness, people dying, and one of the good things about working in healthcare, is that you often feel really grateful for your own life. You see things at work that reminds you of how lucky you really are. My package arrived at the postal office today, which is crazy. I put the order in on Tuesday, and it arrived today. It made me happy, likewise when I managed to motivate myself to exercise today. I hate doing burpees, but they do so much good to the bod, and it feels nice afterwards. My face is the current playground for a lot of spots. They rejoice on my skin, and it's not like I've got any magical cure to make them disappear. It's a good thing I've got vacation soon, less stressful things to worry about. Or, you know, I might worry more. I do easily think more when I've got a lot of quiet time. I am currently listening to Tom Rosenthal. He's very soothing, I've found. Soothing to the ears and to the mind. Good evening, and good night.