it's just words and they cut deep, but it's our world, it's just us two

Finally ventured out in the world today. That's due to my late-night work yesterday, which led to me staying up until 2 am. I didn't work until then, no, I was done hours ago. However, I am always in need for some "me time" before bed. So I read my choice of fan fiction, and then just didn't want to put my phone down. It's annoying because I'll have to start getting back into a normal circadian rhythm after this exam. Oh well, at least I managed to get mostly everything I wanted today, including some Carmex on tubes. You've no idea how many shops I had to go through before I finally found some. I just have to stop have favourite products, because in the end they always stop selling them. I didn't complete my exam yesterday, there's still a few tweaks to do, including having a look over at my citations. The latter is the only thing I've done today. Didn't even exercise. To be fair, my body has felt a bit off. But it's better now, so I'm going to do a late night edit again. This time I'll hopefully fall asleep before 2 am. It's Halloween, and though I haven't had someone knock on the door in years, I prepared a bit of candy because my brother was adamant that "yes, there have been kids knocking on the door before". Let's just say that I won't be preparing next year, hah. I don't really think we're great celebrators of Halloween in this country-- we're more about the Christmas. Although we do love a bit of a dress-up, really. I had a woman in line before me, and she was buying all of her annual Christmas-things. All of the shops have started stocking decorations, and I was tempted to look at bauballs. I didn't, because I might find some in Rome next week. 

made the world I know bigger, changed the way that I viewed it

Hi darlings, I think it's fun to see the development of the colours in my hair, and I must admit that I kind of miss the red/purple-ish colour. Might go back to it one day, but I might do like Sugar has prompted me several times-- go blue. I mean, blue is my favourite colour, so why not yeah? Lols. I felt like a zombie at work today. Because it's turning into autumn, the sun doesn't rise until later, and it gets darker. So naturally, it's really hard to wake up before the sunrise, and you get tired earlier. I was told that a patient had passed away, and it was a bit devastating. As a nurse you're supposed to stay objective, and there's a line between what's professional and unprofessional. But it's not as easy as that, you can't say that something is right, and something is wrong. Some things might be right but also wrong. Bottom line is that I have gotten attached to all of my patients, and I would feel very saddened if (when) they were (are) to pass away. Other than that, I really enjoyed work, which has probably a lot to do with my co-workers and patients today. However, I have been really tired throughout the whole day which has probably a lot to do with my sneaky cold. I think I'm going to sleep really well tonight. I plan to do some school work for the rest of the day probably. If I'm done earlier, that'd be amazing. There's a bar of chocolate and a new fan fiction waiting for me. Tomorrow will be my day off, although I'm going to clean and exercise. But apart from that, I don't have anything I need to do (did I jinx myself then? Probably). Have a great Saturday night. (Lols, I've set myself up to work three Saturdays in a row. Can't wait to have one Saturday for myself) (Oh god, so tired. Tempting to take a sip of the bottle of Whiskey I've got on my desk. But I'm not going to because I think I'm prone to alcoholism. Or that might just be my paranoia). 

You love me, and I love you, and your heart hurts, mine does too. And it's just words and they cut deep but it's our world, it's just us two

Ugh, I can't say I'm feeling really great now. More like I'm failing at everything in life, and I'm not going to go into details, because then I'll have to think about it some more, and I don't think I can handle that. I am so tired after "praksis" whilst trying to read for my exam in December, whilst reading for my "praksis". I'm just exhausted, and due to all of these things, it's just too much. And I'm building up to a cold now that Autumn has been dawning on us. I just feel like on the brink of crying, which I'll probably do today, if not tomorrow. If I have time, that is. Right, I have to take a break. Or else I'm going to break myself, probably. Don't be like me, take care of yourself yeah? This is why I enjoy having a blog, because I reflect on the things I do. And writing this down makes me think of decisions I've made and how they affect my physical and mental health. Self-care is important, and I've let myself down. I've got two nurse supervisors, and thus far I've only been with one of them. Even though it's only been three days, I feel like she can read me scarily well. She knows when to push me, when to not, and can sense whenever I don't feel too good. Even before me, sometimes. Today I had to excuse myself off to the loo, and she told me to do that, and then sit down and have some water. It wasn't until she said so, that I felt how tired I was. Also, the other day I very almost fainted due to me observing doctors cut into a person's hand. I was put down on a bed, where I was ordered to lie until I felt better. And I got up once, because I thought I felt better, but then my supervisor came to see me, and she said: "you still look pale, go lie down again". And yes, she was right, I still felt a bit woozy. She might just be a really great nurse. I am very much enjoying myself at "praksis", though I sometimes feel like I can't do anything. It's not always a confidence booster, but I have to learn to accept the fact that I'm not supposed to know everything, either. I'm there to learn. I thought maybe I'd get a bit of a soft start, but my nurse supervisor has been challenging me from day one, which I do appreciate because I need it. Since she reads me so well, she knows if there's something I'm uncomfortable with, and she'll say that I observe, whilst she does it. I've yet to properly meet my second nurse supervisor, so I'm a bit unsure how that'll be. I've gotten a lot of compliments from the nurses, though, which has made me happy. But I'm so good at shooting compliments like that down. I don't know where I get it from, but it's one of the things I need to work on: accept compliments, don't make excuses. Tomorrow I've got work, which might be the last day at work for awhile, because I don't think it's too good for my health to work along with "praksis" and all the reading. Right now I'm going to finish the chapter I've been reading on this week (well, hopefully). Then I'm going to bed, get some rest. Take care x. 

it's just words and they cut deep but it's our world, it's just us two

For the past week I've been stopping at my mail box to see if my packages have arrived. And I had given up yesterday, figured I'd maybe just read Lord of The Rings on my phone, which I was supposed to read this summer. But when I got home from work today, they were here! Both of my lovely books by Tony Parsons. I've already started on Man and Wife. But I fell asleep on the trampoline shortly after, not because it was boring. Mostly because I was tired, and the sun tends to make me tired. Tired + tired = super tired. I was awoken by a call from my oldest sister. She was wondering about when our plane lands and likewise. Yesterday I went to the mall in order to do a few errands, and to cross off some of the things on my "to do" list. One of which was to buy butter-- and the main reason why I even bothered walking to the mall. Of course I forgot that. Instead I came home with three glasses. It appears that I have a thing for cups and glasses? This (the picture) is the only one I've used, and probably will use. The other two are packed away, for the future some time. I'm currently drinking pear lemonade from the glass, and it's actually quite humongous in the width. When I showed it to my younger sister, she said it looked a bit like a whiskey/scotch glass. And yeah, it sort of does. It's not so big in the height, but it still reminds me of Jules from Cougar Town and her ridiculous wine "glasses". Anyway, I'm in love with it. When I got home from the mall I sort of didn't do any of the things I had on my "to do" list, including the packing. Which, I've not done today either. I have however, done all the things except for the packing on my "to do" list today. It's just that I was watching Grand Designs last night, and instead of packing after watching the episode, I started watching a TV-series called Fødeavdelingen, which translates to maternity ward. It's another of my favorite television shows, but my family isn't that keen on watching women pressing babies out of their vagina. So I don't watch it to often-- only when no one is eating. Haha. The last day of work was actually really nice. There was this little kid who scolded his dad for not taking off his shoes. It's possibly some of the cutest things I've ever seen. I feel like a chapter of my life is done. And it sort of is-- it's not like I'm getting those five weeks back. But it's fine, I've truthfully had a good time. And I'm actually going to miss a lot of the people there. There's this woman who works there, and I swear, she's got the greatest aura ever. It's like she's radiating happiness. I've actually never once seen a frown on her face. Anyway, I've not watched the episode of Grand Designs today-- I actually record all of the episodes. But I might do it later when everyone else has decided to go to bed. Might do that, or do my packing. Or sleep forever, although forever probably means I'll wake up bright and early because I'm so used to it by now. Look What You've Done by Drake is amazing. Greatest lyrics ever, probably. Give it a listen whilst you're reading the lyrics! Alright, I actually think I have to go to bed, because I'm bloody knackered. I'm exactly twenty years and one month. I'm old. And I'm in need for some sleep.