you'll never love yourself half as much as I love you

I want Oreo cake. Like, I really really want it. And not something bought in the stores - I want home made, the real deal. Oh my god, I haven't read any anatomy in a whole week, and now I'm feeling abstinence. I need to get on board again, and start reading. But it's a bit hard when I've got multiple other things to think about too. One Direction had another ustream today, and I only watched the last bit, before they ended it. Gah, it's like they choose to do them when I'm either at school or asleep. But it's fine. I'll watch it on Youtube tomorrow. Or later. Whatever. I've just finished watching the remaining Grey's Anatomy episode. I was excepting a bit of tears, but I think I might have cried too much the past week. If there is anything I love about Grey's Anatomy, it's their music. It's how I was introduced to Mumford and Sons actually. And during this catching up with Grey's Anatomy, I actually heard Youth by Daughter in one of the episodes in season 8.   And then I just thought to myself - if I had continued watching the show, I'd probably discovered it earlier. But hey, better late than never. I might just go to bed soon, seeing as I only slept for five hours today. Ha, I'm getting back into my "five-hours"-sleep routine. But first I might do some writing.

your hands fits in mine like it's made just for me

I just had to make a snowlight when I came home from school today (three hours ago, and it's still alight). It just felt so right. It's been snowing ever since I got home, but it's the kind of snow that's delightful. In Aalesund it was windy and cold, and just not very nice. But here in Oslo, it's cold enough for snow, but warm enough for staying outside simply with a coat. Does it even make any sense? Oh well. Little Things by One Direction is still on replay, and I have a feeling it's going to be the most listened to on iTunes. Thus far it's Wanted by Hunter Hayes with 222 "hits". I've already listened to Little Things 60 times. Just today. So yeah. The lyrics are just perfect. And oh my god, One Direction's European tour dates were revealed today, and the lads are coming to Norway next year. Can you imagine me standing there jumping around, singing along, clutching a banner in one hand and my camera in another? I can. I didn't even think they would come to Norway. I just don't want to be stamped on you know, and become deaf by all the screaming. But I have a feeling I'll be just as worse. Screaming my lungs out. Oh and Niall, I'm looking forward to see you. I'm going to watch Grey's Anatomy now. As if I haven't cried enough for today. I was watching Grey's Anatomy earlier today, and I cried so much, I thought  Yeah, fuck you Shonda Rhimes. Why do you have to take away all the ones I love? Alright, so I kind of love everyone. But still. You are mean. A meanie. 

I'm in love with you and all these little things

This is absolutely perfect. And right up my street. And it's on replay. And god, I just feel like crying, because I've just been reading sad fan fiction, and then I'm going to watch Grey's Anatomy now. And then this song just .. it's so pretty. And oh my, thank you Ed Sheeran. You are brilliant. And god someone drag me out of this fandom, because I feel like I'm drowning. But no, they have to release this song, and even if it might be the only song on the album that's got "this" sound, it's fine with me. It's already enough for me to buy the damn album. You fucking bastards. Oh shit, now I feel like just staying home and listening to this song all day, lying in my bed, daydreaming. It's just perfection.

jar of hearts

"Who do you think you are? Runnin' round leaving scars. Collecting your jar of hearts, and tearing love apart". How is it possible to be so jealous of someone you don't know because of someone you don't know? Just the sight of them makes my inside twist slightly. And it's so ridiculous. Ridiculous that I should feel this way. It was never meant to be like this, I didn't sign up for any of it. But somehow I was dragged inside this crazy world, and the door won't open.  

Frequent updates my arse. Sorry about that. I only used my computer once, and that was school-related. I'm home - finally, after a long struggle that I cannot be bothered to write about. The plane ride to Aalesund was the most frightful plane ride I've ever been on. For a few seconds there, I really thought we were going to die. The turbulence was crazy, and we were flying really close to the water. And then of course the weather decided to be a real bitch, and just arrange for a snow blizzard as we arrived. Lovely. Apart from the weather not allowing me to climb the mountain and take lovely pictures, I did have a great time back "home". There is something unnerving with walking around in a little place where everyone knows each other. Sometimes I'll have people smiling at me, and I won't know if they are only being nice, knows my sister - or worse, knows me. Worse, because I can't recollect people from my childhood. Sure, some I do. But can I be expected to remember the sister of my childhood friend from a decade ago? Surely I must be off the hook for that one. Last Christmas I went to the sport shop in order to do some last minute Christmas-shopping, and then the guy that worked there smiled. And I smiled back, obviously. It was Christmas and everything was jolly. I didn't expect any more of it. But he later introduced himself as my sisters ex, and that he used to babysit me and my younger sister. And I was like "ah, yeah .. you're really good at wrapping Christmas-presents for being a guy...". Way to be awkward. But in honesty, he really was good at it. Whilst being at my sister's house, I took advantage of their access to Netflix, and watched all the remaining episodes from Grey's Anatomy Season 8 that I hadn't yet seen. And god, did I bawl upon watching the last episode. And no, not in a dark room with myself only. No, just in front of the whole family. Right, so I was debating whether to watch it in the living room whilst everyone was there. And I just thought "right, I'm never going to watch this late at night when everyone's gone to bed, cause I'll have to wake up early anyway, and then I'll be really tired". This was the same day as the birthday party of my nephew, so my family was going off to the locale for the birthday celebration. With exception of my sisters fiancee. And I suppose, soon-to-be my brother-in-law. Oh my god, I didn't even realise until now. Anyways, so he was standing around in the kitchen and the living room, cleaning. And there I was, my eyes glued on the TV screen in the living room, crying and sniffing like the baby I am. And when the episode was done, I awkwardly shuffled towards him and asked if he needed help with cleaning. He said no, so I just went back to the TV. But I guess I've cried my fair share for now. Right, I'm going to take a shower now. And then I'm going to sleep. Like a bear. 

found myself at your door, just like all those times before. I’m not sure how I got there, all roads they lead me here

I was wearing Beetle Green by Isadora in these pictures. Thought it was appropriate for autumn. Sometimes it reminds me of a beetle, other times it reminds me of Christmas because it's glittery if you stare long enough. And then I just have to stop myself from staring, because I don't want to get all festive two months before Christmas. But they're already starting to sell Christmas-related things in the stores, hence why I am avoiding the boutiques. Oh, and the fact that I'm broke of course. Nialler even tweeted today that it was time to buy some Christmas jumpers. I'm guessing it won't be long before I start listening to Christmas tunes. Tomorrow I'm off to my sister. My nephews birthday is on Friday, and the celebration will be at Saturday. I reckon it'll be nice, because I'll be reunited with my brother as well. I knew him living at home all Summer would be a bad thing .. I only miss him more now. Oh well. I'm bringing my computer and some of my school books. So I guess you'll be frequently updated. I'm also hoping to take a trip up the mountain, but thus far the weather is being a douche. I woke up today feeling all tired, and it even felt like it was 09:00 am. when it was 01:00 pm. at school today. The flight tomorrow is quite early, and therefore I need to go to bed now. Just going to watch a few Youtube videos. And Tumblr. And Twitter. Yeah, and I wonder why I'm always so tired? Oh god, I might also post a few pictures of Niall, Harry and Liam, cheering on Louis like a couple of fangirls. Like seriously, they are all so incredibly adorable and supportive of each other. And then there are all the bromances. Like, seriously. I love One Direction. Well, adore them is perhaps a better word. They are like five newborn puppies that runs around like crazy and follows each other and play together. Fluffy.