when you say you won't forget me, well I can tell you that's not true

I was feeling like it finally was spring, so I applied two coats of this bright nail varnish. I normally go for darker shades, as I tend to like them more. It's a nice colour, just a bit too bright for right now. I reckon it'll be perfect for summer. I think it's very funny (not) that less than half an hour after applying the varnish, it started snowing in chunks. I guess I'll have to wait a bit more, then. My goodness, Harry Styles went to yet another Kodaline concert. It's sort of starting to make me angry (jealousy level is high), because I want to go too. Stupid illnesses. It really does irk when I see comments, saying "was the best concert I've ever been to" and likewise. Speaking of Kodaline by the way, there's this playlist on 8tracks I've been enjoying thoroughly the past few days. Full of indie songs, I suppose? It's called Brand New Day, which coincidentally, is also a song by Kodaline. You should give Changing of The Seasons by Two Door Cinema Club a listen. It's really good! Well, I think so. It gives me allusions to something I can't really put my finger on. Anyway, it seems like all my friends were exercising yesterday, not even kidding. Thought it was hilarious this morning when I saw all the snaps. Also, I've now seen the insides of Kiwi's stomach? Oesophagus? I'm not quite sure what I saw. The other day I was listening to music on my phone on shuffle, because I've got no favourite music to listen to at the moment. And maybe I shouldn't be so surprised, as it seems like my phone is a belieber itself, but the songs Die In Your Arms and Love Me Like You Do played straight after each other. And I couldn't help smile, because they're both some of my favourite songs by Justin Bieber. It also made me smile because I started reminiscing back to last year, when I was standing beside my belieber friend in a whole arena filled with beliebers, watching Justin Bieber perform live. And honestly, he's the only person I've ever been star struck to see. Oh the memories. I think I'm done with my paper. And it brings such great relief. I ended up on about 4500 words. Could have probably written a lot more, but my teacher didn't exactly want to correct ten papers at more than 5000 words within less than a week. I feel a bit sorry for her now, so I might just send it in already. Now I've only got my last log to write because it's due on Sunday evening. Hopefully I'll get it done today, so I'll have time to revise a bit. This weekend is basically dedicated to school work, and next week is just "praksis" every day. So I'm sorry if I go a bit awol. It's March tomorrow, which is crazy. But it also means it's only one month left until I'm going to Aalesund, and three months until the One Direction concert and a girls weekend in Sweden. Oh the lols, I am listening to random playlists at 8tracks, and I was thinking is she singing "sex, sex, sex, sex" or is that my imagination? I've been rather doubtful to my own mental state lately, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was my imagination. But to my relief, the song was called Sex Yeah by Marina & The Diamonds. And she does sing "sex" multiple times. Yesterday was very lovely. Allie, Sally and I went to a restaurant and ate, did some school work and had a quiz. It appears that Allie has been to Ireland and she was just talking about their hospitality yesterday when we were dining together. And I'm so jealous, love the Irish. I told them it was nice, getting to know them when they were already in my study group. Because that means I'll get to work with them more. That's been the most annoying thing with my school, I think. Being divided into different study groups and then "praksis" groups, means you'll get to know all of these people. However it's only for a limited time, and then you go off in your different directions, and you might never speak to them again. Anyway, they both agreed with my point. And to think that Sally wasn't even going to be at the same "praksis" as us. I can still remember the day she shouted my name, when I was walking towards the train station. I turned around, a bit unsure whether I had heard correctly or not, seeing as I was listening to music. But there she was, told me we'd be at the same place and asked for my number. That was two months ago, and now we're here. (I'm not going to start humming started from the bottom now we're here. Except I just did). We ended up staying at the restaurant for almost four hours, and we got a goodbye from the staff, ha. I've been to the place multiple times, and I actually recognised some off the staff. Anyway, I've grown obsessed to the apple, cinnamon and raisin tea by Twinings. And it's entirely Marble's fault. It just tastes like comfort and home. It's only 2:00 pm, but I've already managed to cross off 4 things of the 5 things I've got on my list to do today. Success. I feel very good, but we'll see later on, if I actually manage to cross off the last thing. Have a nice Friday lovelies xx. 

I can keep a secret safe for awhile, maybe I'm a liar

Let's talk about Harry Styles. I saw a picture of him doing whatever he's doing in L.A., but what caught my eyes were his boots. Finally something else than chelsea boots, and they look so lovely. The fact that this is what I chose to concentrate on probably says a lot about me. Also, apart from being jealous that Harry is friends with the rest of One Direction, I am now also jealous of him because he attended a Kodaline concert. I'm really jealous of that, and a bit bitter. Anyway, when I walked outside today, I only had one minute until the bus was supposed to arrive. So when I realised it was chucking down with the biggest snow flakes, I only had time to curse myself for not wearing something more sensible. So I was stood outside in my converse and coat. Without an umbrella or hat or anything. The snow flakes were the kind that melts the second it touches the ground, which means I got rather drenched. It was rather unpleasant, to be honest. I'd much rather walk inside and change into wellies and a raincoat. But it was too late, couldn't take the chance and miss my bus. I was at school today-- Allie, Sally and I decided that we needed to work on our papers, and we've strangely been working at them together. I say strangely, because most often I enjoy sitting by myself. Sally said: "sometimes you're too smart for my liking". I shrugged, told her: "that's your interpretation. It's a subjective meaning, alas it's not necessarily true". I earned a kick to the shin for that. Tomorrow we're going to dine and have a little quiz in preparation for our final assessment for our "praksis". My teacher did say that she wouldn't be that hard on us this time. But I'm not quite sure I believe her. Out of all the meetings we've had, I feel today's was the most beneficial. And I'm so glad my teacher listened to us, when we said we didn't want the usual set up for our meetings. Well, when I say we said we didn't want it, I mean: I whined and put my head onto the table and said "noooooo" when it was presented that we were having yet another workshop. At this point it was only one other student in the room because the others had gone to the loo, and some had yet to show up. The other student also said "noooooo". And we went into an explanation as to why it didn't work with workshops. And to my great pleasure she said ok, and that we'd do things differently. I've had a long day, and I had a long day yesterday too. I actually went straight into my bed when I got home yesterday, because I was just so tired. I didn't like fall asleep, but I just couldn't be bothered to move. Until I exercised and had a shower, that is. And in the midst of brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed, Ale called. She had called earlier, when I was at "praksis", but it didn't give us time to chat properly, so we agreed to a call later on. And later on turned out to be in the midst of me brushing my teeth. So I rushed to the bathroom to spit out, crossing my fingers she wouldn't hang up before I'd managed to be somewhat decent. And she didn't, so we chatted for awhile, which was nice. I said to her earlier, that it was nice to hear her voice. And I found that whilst she was retelling me things, retelling her reactions to things, I could imagine it so vividly in my head. Anyway, at the end of the call, I was almost lulled to sleep, very calm. And I think maybe I should stop with my usual routine of listening to a song before I fall asleep. Because it's working too well, which means I fall asleep with the ear buds in my ears. And it can get uncomfortable. Especially when I wake up to realise I'm lying on top of them. Oh well, I ought to try get my paper done. And my log. Next week I'll be done. Done with this "praksis", and it will be such a relief. And I wonder, a few months ahead in time I'll probably be listening to music on my phone when it's on shuffle. And then it'll stop on a song that reminds me of one of my earlier "praksis"-es. And I wonder what song will remind me of this "praksis". 

the only difference is, that you want nothing and I want everything

Things I realised as I was watching TV yesterday. I would have a Kardashians marathon if I was hungover or just really bored. And I would complain about feeling like I lost some IQ. I also realised that I know close to nothing about Australia. I'm not even sure of the capital. It's really windy outside. Was really windy last night too, and I thought for a second that maybe I wouldn't get any sleep due to it. However, I think it works like a lullaby to me. I do find sounds of nature quite soothing. Like the sound of the sea. It occurred to me yesterday that I've also grown used to eating cake at the weekends, which made me a bit sulky, because I wanted cake, but I managed with an ice lolly. You know sometimes you see people looking all deranged and in clothes that looks so outdated you nearly cringe? And it used to make me hope that I'd never become like that. But nowadays I'm not so sure. What if it was a concious decision? What if they've chosen to "let themselves go"? What an awful phrase, by the way, because "let themselves go" implies that they've changed themselves, they've let go of what used to define them. I think it's an awful phrase, because of course people change. We learn new things all the time, which makes our perspective wider, and what we thought when we were ten, is the opposite of what we think when we're twenty, and so on. Change is the only constant. That's another phrase, which I find is true. Also, I've come to realise that if it's a concious decision, who am I to decide that someone shouldn't walk around in dated clothing and such? We live in a very superficial world, which is really sad. Anyway, if you didn't already interpret the row of pictures as a longing for summer, well. The row of pictures is because I long for summer. There you have it. I am not at all surprised by myself, because my mood is very dependant on the weather. But I am surprised it's taken me this long. It's almost march already (it starts Saturday!!), and I don't think I've once yearned for summer yet. I hope we'll have good weather this year too, and I can't wait for barbecues. I've got "praksis" later on, so that'll be a slap back to reality. It's actually only two weeks left though, and in my mind it's only one week. This week will be rather quick, because I've changed my shifts due to things I ought to come along for. Therefore I'll have a full week next week, so I reckon I'll be rather knackered after it. But you know, it's the last week, so why not? Except I've got school the week after, like, there's no break whatsoever. Oh well, life carries on. I'm currently listening to Grimmy's breakfast show on BBC radio 1, and I've been procrastinating all day (well, the three hours I've been awake), so I might actually do some school work now. Have a nice Monday morning and spend some time to cherish life. Oh, that reminds me, a patient once told me that she found the kindness in birds a motivation to carry on with life. I thought that was really nice. Anyway, bye, and good day! 

raise a glass of wine for the last time

It's really glum outside, isn't it? It just looks really grey outside. I think, when I move out, and it's gone ten years, and if my parents will still live in this house, I'll look outside this window and see if the tree is still there. If it's bigger, or if they've removed it. And I'll feel a pinch of sadness if it's gone. I'll think that the tree was there all the time, like an anchor, like a constant reminder of life and new beginnings and growth and everything. And I'll laugh at myself, probably, because I'll always be this strange. Congratulations to the Russian cross country skiers that won today. I am not very disappointed, to be honest, because I realised after watching the race, that I've only every been truly disappointed if it's Petter Northug. And if he's in form. But he's not been, not for the Olympics, not for awhile, actually. And that's a bit saddening too, because my love for cross country skiing is very related to him, actually. Though I said "yeah no, I don't think he'll do it today," the other day to Sally when we were watching the Olympics. And she huffed, and said she had belief in Northug. I didn't respond to that. Instead I thought to myself that I had hope too, but I wasn't delirious. One of the reasons I wasn't that upset with the race today, was maybe because I was reading a fan fiction in between. It was just, I couldn't deal with all the tension of watching a race for almost two hours. And that's what it does to me, when I see Petter Northug looking like he's in form, and it's so hard to know with him-- I get knots in my stomach, with hope, whilst also trying to not get my hopes up. Oyster snapped me something like "it's only ten km yet" when I had snapped her something about having nerves. Anyway, I was reading a fan fiction that almost made me cry. But I was sat in the couch, almost hunched in on myself. Darting my eyes between the TV and my iPhone, and then my dad was sat on the other couch. So I bit the insides of my cheek, willing the tears to stay inside. But once the race was done and I retreated to my bedroom I realised it's been awhile since I've had a cry? So I re-read a fan fiction I knew would make me cry. And it's always astonishing to me how words can make my stomach do a painful lurch. Anyway, it's Sunday, and I'm supposed to clean my bedroom, but it looks like there is less to no determination to get that done. I am however delighted that I've actually been rather productive with my paper, though the word count is at 3500 words now. I've still got about half of the thing left. I will most likely try to shorten it down as much as possible. Or maybe just revel in the fact that there's no word limit for this paper. I'm going to try to get a head start at some school work for next week, before I'll have an exercise session and a shower. Also going to try stop looking at skin products online-- guys, I've become obsessed with that as well. I remember once, when I was younger and I was watching this movie with a friend. And the lady in the movie bought a tiny jar of this really expensive skin product. I would have never thought I'd become like that, but to be truthful, I might just become exactly like that in the future. Oh goodness, let's just all go back to the stoneage. Anyway, I'm actually going now. Bye, ha. 

Come back and tell me why I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time. And meet me there tonight and let me know that it's not all in my mind

I started reading a new book this morning, whilst eating porridge with banana, apple and some cinnamon. At 8:15 am I got bored, and trudged upstairs. And I watched a video of Ed Sheeran and Gabrielle Aplin singing Kiss Me together, which oh my god. I love the song, and both of the artists. I am crossing my fingers that they will do a duet together in the future. After a bit, I went downstairs with my stack of books and school work, ready to settle in front of the telly and watch some cross country skiing. However, the telly decided to be a bastard, and I didn't get to see much of the race. When I did get access to it, it was obvious that Norway would win gold, silver and bronze medals. Which, is very exciting. But it would have been much more exciting for me if I'd be able to watch the whole thing. That's my favourite thing about cross country skiing; watching a long race builds up excitement and tension. Anyway, after that I had pizza for lunch. Far too much, actually. Felt a bit like I was going to throw up, if I wasn't careful. After that I went upstairs to continue my school work, before I decided to have break, because I was a bit tired. I spent the break in my bed, switching between re-reading a fan fiction and replaying Beyonce's performance from the Brits. I've heard XO loads of times before, but I just really fell in love with the song when I saw the performance. Not that it's a really great performance either, I'd rather say it was a bit boring. After this, I went back to school work, whilst listening to a lot of great songs. Like this cover of Video Games by Tom Odell, is rather gorgeous. And I've been replaying Bastille singing Pompeii, Bad Blood and Flaws acoustic. It just really amazes me how they manage to use their hands so brilliantly. It is especially amazing because I've heard the studio versions of these songs a billion time (because I love Bastille), and I know how they're supposed to sound. And it's just wow. Anyway, I think I've been rather good with my school work. Due to a lot of confusion in the relation with my paper, I sent off loads of questions to my teacher. Which, I thought was a good way to be a nuisance. I'm such a nice person. Not. I curled my hair, just because the length of my hair is actually bothering me a bit. I can't wait to chop it off. Right, I'm not actually going to chop it all off. I'd miss having long hair too much. Wow, just remembered my dreams the past two days. I've had so strange dreams. Last night it was me running around in the shortest white dress ever (my bum was out for everyone to see basically), at my school (which isn't really my school, because my school looks nothing like in my dream) because I had to find my classmates who were working at the paper, and one of them had borrowed my iPad. And this was on my way to my sisters wedding. It was just the strangest thing. Anyway, I've not had that much of chocolate today, so I might grab myself a cuppa and some chocolate before it's too late. Also, I keep thinking it's Sunday, when it's really Saturday. And it's such a nice feeling when you realise that there's yet another day of the weekend. I'm going to try sleep for more than 8 hours, because I felt a bit tired today. But I'm still up bright and early tomorrow, because of cross country skiing. Can't wait, actually. Have a very lovely evening xx. 

I'll search through the crowd. Your face is all that I see

Had a bit of a weird day. A bit glum, to be honest. Spent quite a few hours on the couch half watching the telly (Leap Year. I do love the Irish), half reading a fan fiction, and trying to do school work in between. Anything to avoid my thoughts. I postponed my work out yesterday, so I had to catch up today, which was probably just what I needed. I don't know if I mentioned it, but it was really nice to see my friends yesterday. As I've mentioned, it usually goes ages in between meetups. It was perhaps a bit short, but I've learned to treasure these kind of things anyway. I spoke to Lynx and David today. "Facetimed" with them. David wanted to show off his tummy, and he also wanted to show that he could put on pants by himself. After the call, my mum said: "he's really grown, hasn't he?". "Yeah, he has," I sighed. I get this feeling that once he's grown a bit, he'll no longer come running and hug me. I'll become the aunt he knows lives far away, the one he only sees a couple of times each year. Anyway, I've bought plane tickets. In seven weeks I'll be there, with Grepper, Lynx, David. And hopefully the dress for the wedding will still fit me, as I bought it last summer. I'm not sure what I'll do if it doesn't. And I've already imagined myself telling my sister (if it does fit) "if I have a panic attack or likewise, and I pass out, you'll have to open my dress. A bit like, whassit? Pirates of The Caribbean". I've got a lot on my mind, and it would be nice to not think about everything. The problem is that I care too much to not do so. Oh, Monchita just knocked on my door and told me to hold my hand out with my palm up. My immediate thought was oh god she's going to put gum on my hand. Because you know, I've never done anything like that before (cough). But I gave in, decided to trust her, and held my hand out. "For tomorrow," she said, as she put a chocolate bar in my hand. The good things in life, you guys, let's try to remind ourselves of that. I'm going to watch cross country skiing tomorrow, and on Sunday. And hopefully I'll manage to write on my paper. Because I really am running out of time. Have a nice Friday, hopefully yours have been better than mine. 

can't you see I don't have money on my mind

Went to bed a bit later yesterday, because I decided to watch the whole live stream of the Brit Awards 2014. I was rather ecstatic to see Ellie Goulding and Bastille win Brits. And Bastille performed with Rudimental, which was just mental and awesome. Great performance by two of my favourite groups. I wasn't actually aware of which awards One Direction were up for, but they were up for four, and won two of them. And I think it was well deserved, the ones they did win. Because I don't necessarily think it would be right for them to win the other awards. And that's nice, award shows that's not necessarily decided by the people. Although one of their awards were voted for by their fans. I write that like I'm not their fan, ha, I am. But I rarely ever vote for them at these kind of awards and stuff. I think they were happier because of that award, for their music video for Best Song Ever. I'm pretty sure they know that their success is based on their fans. It was slightly odd and a bit disconcerting to see Niall with his crutches, because it does worry me how he'll recover. If he'll be recovered in time for their tour. I was very giddy to see them all together again. I wasn't actually planning on watching the whole show, but I couldn't stop. Not when I had the chance to see the lads gathered again. One of my favourite things with the Brits, is that all the guests have loads of alcohol available at their table throughout the night. Which means most people get rather drunk. Liam Payne was one of them, and he actually did quite a few interviews afterwards, and they're sooo amusing. I'm going to listen to the Radio 1 Breakfast show with Nick Grimshaw, because he was also an attender of the Brits last night, and he happened to have a bit of a snog with James Corden last night. At stage. Hilarious, and the memory was still fresh in mind when I was sat on the bus this morning. It was really hard to contain my grin, and I don't think I was that successful. Holy crap, did you know that Pharrell Williams is 40? I genuinely thought he was in his late twenties-- early thirties. Anyway, today Allie, Sally and I had a day dedicated to our papers at "praksis". We were sat in the canteen, like we did last time too. And the people who work there are so bloody nice. We always get offered coffee and tea. Today we even got free food. And let me tell you, they try to only use fresh products, which makes the food really great. And it's so cheap in consideration to my school, for example. It's just such a nice atmosphere in the canteen, which is sort of funny. I really enjoy having these kind of days with Sally and Allie, going to miss it, probably. We're having a quiz-night next Thursday, and I think it's going to be ace, actually. We had a little meeting with one of our supervisors, so Sally and I packed up and went upstairs, where we meet one of the staff, and we spoke a bit with him. And then we had a little short meeting and said our goodbyes to our other supervisors. And it just made me realise how lucky we've been, because all the staff are so inviting, I think. We've got so much good banter with them, and we can joke around. Anyway, Sally drove me to the train station because she was heading that way. Told her I felt really spoiled, because I feel like I've been driven around a lot lately. On the train I realised I'd be a lot earlier than I had expected. So I texted my belieber friend and Sugar, asking if they were finished with their business yet. They weren't, so I walked around for myself for a bit. Sugar called me a loner, which was rather correct to be honest. I was rather mesmerised with the current fan fiction I am reading, when I felt the hands of my belieber friend on my shoulders. When I looked up, I saw her and Marble. Sugar arrived shortly after. We had a bit of a catch up, and Marble gave me a little lecture in law. Gave up trying to understand after listening to her ramble on. I got home at 6:00 pm and sat down to finish my log, which was really due at 5:00 pm. Oh well, my teacher will have to live on. Because I almost did a double shift the other week, I got tomorrow off. It's going to be really nice to have a proper sleep in after a week with a troublesome sleep pattern. I am however a bit concerned with the little time I have left with my patient. Will have to say my goodbyes to her rather soon, because she'll be off with her own life next week. It's actually a bit scary how quick this "praksis" have gone. And two weeks feels like something akin three days. Marble funnily said "see you in two weeks", in which my belieber friend said "what's happening in two weeks?". Marble answered "you'll all be done with "praksis"". Funny, that Marble. Anyway, I ought to go. Have a nice Thursday evening. Be productive, cherish life and try to live in the now. And sleep well xx. 

feels like war, raise your love

I've given up on hoping that the snow will disappear. Because once it does melt away, it's like the weather gods goes: "oh, there's almost no trace of snow anymore" "oh dear, we can't let the humans think it's going to be spring yet" "I agree, let's make some more snow". For some unknown reason, I slept really bad last night. Like, I did fall asleep around 10:00 pm. But then I woke up at 2:00 am, wide awake, and I didn't know why I was awake. So I figured I'd go to the loo, figured maybe that was the reason. But when I got back into bed, I was just lying awake, trying to force myself into sleep. Until it was about 3:00 am, and I gave up a bit. I checked my Twitter and Instagram, before I decided trying to fall asleep again. And I did, I think. But I must have slept very lightly, because I woke up multiple times, with the lingering feeling of close to no sleep at all. I especially felt it, when it was 5:45 am, and it felt like I'd gotten no sleep at all. One of the staff at my "praksis" saw me yawning, asked if I was tired. I said to her I'd had a sleepless night. And she laughed, told me she could barely sleep these days. And it made me realise that I should be happy I can even get sleep these days. The pro's of being young, innit? I can't imagine having to be feeling the way I felt, and feel today, except feel it every day. My eyes really have been burning with residue of sleep today, and whilst I was sat at the bus station, waiting for my bus, I imagined myself at home in bed. And I thought bitterly, that I probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyway. Though I've been feeling rather tired the past two days, it hasn't effected my mood that much, nothing I could point out anyway. Instead I've been feeling stupidly happy, which made me think that maybe I'm happier when I'm tired. After a bit of pondering, I figured it was probably just me being easily amused by everything due to over tiredness. As I mentioned yesterday, the bus I take is often filled with people with disabilities-- or maybe I didn't mention it. Nevertheless, there are a lot of the same people each day. And today one happened to sit down beside me. I've taken a note to that she seems very unaware to social norms, likes to sing loudly sometimes. She was pretty mesmerised with texting on her phone, and I was in my own world, staring out the window. The only interaction was when she asked me what my bus stop was, before she went back to her phone. And then, when my bus stop came, she poked me with her arm, announcing that it was my bus stop. I was strangely endeared by that, like she felt she had to take care of me. And it made me smile so wide the whole walk to "praksis" from my bus stop. I feel like I'm so happy these days, and it almost feels a bit too strange. Anyway, whilst watching the Burberry Prorsum show the other day, I fell in love with one of the songs played. Raise Your Love by Rhodes. I do actually enjoy it a lot more live. I just think his voice is really nice, and the song is really lovely. Everything's just really lovely and nice and pretty and perfect and awesome and bah. I've been thinking, when I get into these moods, I seem to get blinded, like I can only see positives. And the opposite when I'm unhappy. And it's like my teacher said, when I said I thought I'd been really lucky with all my previous "praksis"-es, "maybe it's the way you see it". Maybe it's my twisted brain that let's in all the sensory impressions which I regard as positive. And I think yes, she was right about that. I know for a fact that whilst I thought my first "praksis" was really good, J.D. thought it was quite shite. We see what we want to see. Anyway, we had a school meeting today, which Allie, Sally and I thought was at 1:30 pm. Allie drove us all, like she did last time too. We arrived at school at 1:50 pm, and we all bought us some hot chocolate. And then we proceeded to walk inside a wrong room, where there were sat two girls watching the sprint finals in cross country skiing. By that time, it was 1:30 pm, and there were no sign of the other people in my "praksis" group, which made me think that we were in the wrong room. And that we was, because a second later I got a text from Kiwi asking where we were. I called her, and she gave me the correct room number, which happens to be a tiny room made for a lot less than we all are. So when Allie, Sally and I arrived, the whole room was cramped. My brain registered the books on the table, the amount of people that had arrived and the time. So it was only natural that I asked what my brain had concluded with: "did we start at 1:00 pm?". My teacher said yes, and Allie looked slightly embarrassed, and Sally looked at me, probably to recognise that I had been right. Because at the counter, whilst buying the hot chocolate, I told Sally that I'd written 1:00 pm in my phone. But she said it was 1:30 pm, and I believed her, because it's been so much back and forth with the times and dates. However, my teacher is so ridiculously relaxed about these kind of things. At least it seems like she is with us, and I think she must like us extra much. I'm sure we're great pupils to have, surely. Haha, no, but I'm going to miss having her as a teacher. I need to have some kind of structure, and I dread the day we have to go back to our old teacher. She's just too vague and has no structure and blah. But have to take the good with the bad, and had I not had a bad teacher, I wouldn't recognise a good one. This is one of the things I do, and I'm sure my friends will recognise it-- I justify things, and when there's complaints about something, I always try to look at the positive sides of the case. And I'm sure my friends sometimes gets very annoyed about this. Today was the first time I think I might have done the same thing with Sally. We were complaining about how we feel like these school meetings maybe feels a bit like a waste. But then I turned it around, and brought out the positives. And she just huffed with a laugh, "alright, alright". Anyway, I'm going to write on my log for this week, and then I'll have to eat, and then I'm going to watch a bit of the #BRITAwards. The arrivals have already started, 1D (or D1 as Marble wrote yesterday) will be arriving soon, according to Niall. I really can't wait, and it's so ridiculous how giddy I am with anticipation. Just to see them all gathered again. Absolutely pathetic, I am. Goodness gracious. Alright then, this has been far too long. Soz for boring content, I literally can't believe it sometimes, how you actually read these things. Have a nice Wednesday evening xx.

I was just a young child

Hiyaaaaaa! The Burberry show was actually quite amazing in my opinion. I'm happy they've chosen to do live music once again. I loved the summery feel of the collection, and I thought there were so many nice prints, albeit a bit confusing. Some pieces of clothing were in flower and/or leaf prints, but the colour combination made them look a bit more tribal. And the coats are always to die for, really. Cara Delevingne looked stunning, and she's got this attitude that I think all the other models were lacking. The sight of Harry Styles didn't surprise me too much, I mean, he's been a regular attender at the Burberry Prorsum show's the past few years. He looked good as always, and very Harry-esque. What I am most excited about is the colour of his coat, because it reminded me of these chairs I saw the other week, which made me dream about a plush wooden green coloured sofa. My allusions, ha. Harry was later on spotted with Grimmy, which made me really happy, because I love their friendship. I did hope that they would both attend the Burberry show, but I'm not sure if Harry has ever been on a Burberry Prorsum show for men? My knowledge doesn't stretch that far. Anyway, today has been a bit tiring. I don't know why, because I slept for a decent amount of time. However, my eyes were burning in the morning, and I've been sleepy throughout the whole day. It was an exciting day at "praksis", and I got to come along to a lot of things. Also had a chat with my nurse supervisor, who I think is far too good at praising me. She's going to give me a big ego, probably. On the way to the bus station today, the colours in the sky were beautiful, and it just made me grin. Manically, probably. And on my way back home, I sat down beside a man with downs syndrome, and he was so lovely. Asked if I could sit beside him, and he answered: "yes, that would be cozy", before he started talking to me. Just added to the positives of my day. I strangely enough met Monchita when I got off the bus, because she was on her way to the mall. She informed me that we were having pizza today, which made me even happier, because it's been a crave I've been wanting for a long time. And it seems like it's done now, so I'll have to go and eat. Have a nice Tuesday! 

picture my surprise when I had tried to lean in for a kiss and she just smiled and turned her head down. I asked her, "Why?" and she replied it was nothing I was doing wrong, it's just what it is. No, classy girls don't kiss in bars like this

When I was going to bed yesterday, I thought it was so bloody bright in my bedroom. I realised it was the full moon, which I've not seen in quite a bit. And I brought out my camera to take some pictures, and then-- four years(???) after having this camera, I figured out that you could have a slower shutter speed on my camera. So yes, basically played around for a bit. Hence the strange pictures. It's really sunny outside, and I should probably get my gear on and head to town, but I really don't want to leave the house. I've an ache in my back thanks to mother nature, and I would love for the week to pass by, actually. Bah, life's ups and downs. Before bed yesterday, I was browsing through my Twitter, and curiously clicked on the hashtag #Scandimania to discover it's been a TV show on Channel 4 about Scandinavian countries basically. And I think the last episode was about Norway, and it was hilarious to look at the comments about the episode. Also clicked on a link that led me to a web shop that sold Norwegian groceries, basically. But I get it, I guess. If I'm so bloody interested in other countries and their groceries, it must be natural that there's someone who would think Norway is interesting too. Just looked at a few pictures from the BAFTAs yesterday, and Angelina Jolie looked so bloody good. Also, thumbs up to all the men with blue tailored suits. I was a bit baffled to see pictures of Niall hanging out with Selena Gomez yesterday-- I'm sure everyone was a bit baffled. But then again, I might've been more baffled if it were one of the other boys in One Direction hanging out with Selena. I mean, Niall does hang out with basically everyone? Also, why is everyone in London at the moment? It's throwing me off. I told Oyster that I can't wait for Wednesday, because that's when the BRITs are happening. And I wouldn't even care if One Direction didn't win a thing, but I'm so excited to see them assembled again. That's how soppy I am, I just like seeing One Direction together. Today, though, I'm going to watch the livestream of the Burberry show. Can't wait. It's currently London Fashion Week, well it's finished tomorrow, if I'm not wrong. But that might be the reason for the assembling of everyone in London, ha. I watched In Her Shoes yesterday, and I was surprised to realise how great importance mental illness has in the movie. I've seen the movies loads of times before, but that's what happens when you gain knowledge about something-- you become more aware of it. It's a very interesting thing, that. Anyway, it's starting to freak me out that it's soon March. Lynx snapped me a photo of her closet where my dress and David's suit was hanging for the wedding. And it's been dawning on me, how soon it is. April is basically next month. Albeit I'm looking forward to be finished with "praksis", I do also distinctly remember back in October, when it suddenly felt like I had nothing to do. And I'm sure I'll have the same feeling after this. I'll just have to make sure I write down all the things I want to do now, when I've got so little time, so that I can do it once I have time. I think I must have had a really strange dream, because I've been feeling a bit confused ever since I awoke. I did have a bit of a tumultuous night, woke up at 2:00 am with a dull pain in my back and something that resembled like hunger, and I had a hard time going to bed again. Was actually considering to read something, but in midst of it all, I must have fallen asleep again. Thank goodness for that, as I woke up at 7:00 am this morning. Oh well, this day is meant for school work, and I plan to be efficient today, because if I'm not wrong, I've got about 14 days to finish my paper, in which there's actually only six days I have the whole day dedicated to it. The rest of the days are weekdays where I've basically only got 2-3 hours. I would like my own Tim Gunn to pop his head inside my bedroom and remind me: "one hour left, now" "work it", etcetera. Oh well, happy Monday, and what a brilliant song by the Lumineers-- Classy Girls. Brilliant lyrics, as shown in the title of this blogpost.

come and rest your bones with me

Morning, I've just finished watching the men's relay race in cross country skiing. And although it didn't go very well with Norway, it was still nice to see Petter Northug, and I think he did a good run, placing fourth. But the congratulations go to Sweden, which have been ace in cross country skiing this year's Olympics. And anyway, I've got a soft spot for Marcus Hellner, so I'm just glad. It's funny, because as we were watching the relay race for the women yesterday (at Oyster's), I was commenting along. And Oyster told me I should maybe become a commentator instead. But it's not so hard when you've been watching cross country skiing for quite a bit, and get to know the skiers and their signs of weakness and opposite. Anyway, I slept for ten hours. Two hours more than I was planning to. Must have shut off my alarm again, without noticing. I suppose it's okay, since I had so little sleep the previous night. I found a bag of chocolate yesterday, one that I'd forgotten about. But I found it when I was looking for my "shoot for the stars" bath bomb by Lush. I had a proper foot bath yesterday, as I'd been lusting for one. I ought to clean my bedroom now, and then get some food apart from that toast I had for brekkie. I should also organise my closet better, really, but I'm far too lazy. Maybe sometime after my "praksis" is done. I've got the schedule of my "praksis" above my desk, and I was just looking at it, which made me realise that time is running out. My paper is so far from done, and it feels like I've not got any time on the days I have "praksis". Oh well, time will tell how it goes. 

I’ve been avoiding commitment, that’s why I’m in this position. I’m scared to let somebody in on this

Hiya. I'm listening to an instrumental song on one of the playlists Kiwi has gifted to me. It's so nice and soothing for my head. Yesterday was spent over at Oyster's house. Got to her house just as she was making lasagne. Which my brain registered as odd, a few seconds after I'd registered what she was making. "But, isn't it you who doesn't like lasagne?" "Yeah, I puked the last time I ate it". She's an odd one, really. I've not been at Oyster's for just over a month, but then it usually goes that much of time between each time we see each other. And as we spoke yesterday, we realised I'd not slept over for months upon months. It was very nice as we were sat at the dining table, eating lasagne, and having banter between each other. Her mum always tries to make me her ally against Oyster and Mars, ha. Just, without getting all soppy, they're sort of my second family. Her mum said I was in a lot of their videos from years ago, which, oh god, hope I'll never have to watch them. But it was just very nice, sitting there, having discussions and having banter. Oyster and I then proceeded to go upstairs to her bedroom, where we caught up a bit, I guess. And her younger brother who just turned six (bloody hell), was playing on his Nintendo 3DS whilst lying on bed. Before it got too late, Oyster asked me if I wanted to make brownies, so that we did. And as you can see in the picture, we at ice cream along with that. Delicious, I tell you. Though it's been a lot of cake as of late. Actually feels like I've been eating cake since Christmas. It's a slight exaggeration, but not too far from the truth. There's actually a marzipan cake in the refrigerator as we speak. We ate it whilst watching Crazy, Stupid, Love. Which, really is one of my top ten movies to watch at all times. I really do love that movie. Halfway through the movie, we paused the movie and went to get a second helping of brownies and ice cream. And I said to Oyster that it was way past my bedtime, and that I felt slightly delirious. It was 11:35 pm. My eyes started burning at the end of the movie, with tiredness this time, not tears. I removed my make-up and got ready for bed, and once we were in bed it was probably past 1:00 am or something. And I thought we were going to pass out rather quickly after that, but instead we didn't end up going to bed before 4:30 am. Which, holy shit. I really haven't been up that late since Kiwi and Marble's birthday. We had a little bit of a walk down memory lane, and it's shocking how much Oyster remembers of all the things I've said to her in the past. I don't think I'll repeat any of those things here, it's far too embarrassing. Anyway, I woke up at 9:30 am, a bit peeved to have woken up, so I tried to shut my eyes and fall asleep again. But it was too late, I was already awake. So I've had five hours of sleep, which now feels like what I used to feel like with three hours of sleep. I guess you can say I was a bit peeved, sitting at the bus when there were a bunch of teenage boys with squeaky voices talking loudly about wanking of all things. Even my music couldn't shut them out. And then I had to laugh a bit of myself, because is that a sign that I've become older and think things like that are a bit rude to talk about in a bus? But surely you must agree that you don't speak about wanking in a public bus? Anyway, I'm home now, have been for hours. Yet I've not done any school work. Because I feel like I'm going to drop any second now. Ah, just yawned too. Have a nice Saturday, and I hope you had a nice Valentines day yesterday regardless of whether you celebrated it or not. It definitely seemed like Zayn and Perrie had an alright time yesterday. Goodness gracious, they're so cute, makes my heart melt a bit. 

Å holde pusten

«Å holde pusten er en roman om å få besøk fra barnevernet, om å ha en kjæreste som ligner på en firfisle, og venner som lever i en annen virkelighet. Det handler om å ha en mor som er syk, en far i Kristiansand, en lillesøster som ikke vil på skolen. Å holde pusten er en historie om en seksten år gammel jente. Den handler om å være barn, og om å holde på å bli voksen. Men mest av alt handler det om å holde ut. Holde fast. Og holde sine egne folk samlet».

Det kommer en dag i tredje klasse på videregående skole at norsklæreren begynner å prate om forslag til bøker å lese til særemnet. Alle begynner å lete etter bøker, og klikker seg frem på internett for å se om bøkene finnes i filmer. Ved denne tiden hadde jeg allerede lest ferdig fire bøker av Jostein Gaarder, selv om vi kun trengte å lese tre. Appelsinpiken, Sofies verden, Kabalmysteriet og I et speil, i en gåte. Men til tross for at jeg brukte sommeren på å lese meg klok på filosofi, endte jeg opp med å bruke oppvekstromaner til særemnet. Og slik blusset kjærligheten min for oppvekstromaner opp. Så når jeg så Å holde pusten av Agate Øksendal Kaupang på ARK bokhandel, stoppet jeg. Jeg så forsiden, og det var det som trenges for å stoppe meg. Det er en kort bok, med små glimt inn i livet til protagonisten. Og disse glimtene er så brutalt ærlige at det noen ganger kan oppleves litt ubehagelig. Her om dagen sa veilederen min at vi må lære å kjenne på de ubehagelige følelsene i stedet for å dytte de bort. For hjernen vil registrere det som viktig informasjon, og ubevisstheten vil dytte det frem igjen når du minst venter det. Så nå har jeg bestemt meg for at jeg ikke skal unngå ubehageligheter. Jeg syntes at romanen var fin, jeg som liker oppvekstromaner, jeg som liker å lese om dysfunksjonelle familier. Det både vondt og godt å lese boka. Vondt fordi jeg er innehaver av noe som kalles empati, og jeg har en forkjemper i meg som ønsker godt oppvekstmiljø for barn. Godt, fordi det belyser mye, bevisstgjør også mye for folk som ikke har så mye peiling. Godt fordi det er mange fine, hjerteskjærende skildringer. Og forfatteren, hun er jammen meg født i 1993. Det er imponerende og inspirerende. Så alt i alt, jeg er glad for at jeg har lest boka, men jeg tror ikke den kan anbefales til alle. For de som ikke liker litt triste bøker, så er kanskje ikke denne det beste valget. Men om man noen gang ønsker å lese en litt trist bok i løpet av livet, så bør man gi den en sjanse. 

I wanna thrill you like Michael, I wanna kiss you like Prince

In the mornings I listen to 8tracks playlists, just because I've not found any new music. And my morning jam this week has definitely Classic by MKTO. Listen to it in the morning, and tell me you don't smile because of it. I was actually in bed at 9:20 pm yesterday, just because my body felt really tired. I woke up strangely sore in my body. Strangely, because I usually get sore two days after I exercise. Don't ask me why, but I do. Started reading the book I've been wanting to read, and it's so heart wrenchingly sad. I've not had more time to read other than when I was having my breakfast, so I guess I'll finish it tomorrow. Another day at "praksis", and another good one. I had a really interesting discussion with other staff and my nurse supervisor's daughter of all people. Opened my eyes a bit, actually. I also spent quite a bit of time with patients today. I grinned so much because of my primary patient's progress that my jaw ached afterwards. After "praksis" I awkwardly ate a yoghurt at the train into town. I say awkwardly because I don't necessarily like eating in places you're not supposed to be eating. Also because the train was quite full. But health comes before most things, so I couldn't really be bothered. I went into town because I had to stop by my school library. Seems like all I do is to stop by library's these (two) days. Nah, but it was strange, because it feels like I've not been to town for a thousand years. It has actually been two weeks, if I'm not wrong. So that's quite long, in my opinion. Anyway, got home at 5:45 pm, had some food and now I'm here relaxing a bit before I need to write my log for tomorrow. I'd almost forgotten about it, but one of my (many) supervisors are going to look through Sally and I's logs, so that means I'll have to get it done today. I'm excited for tomorrow, because Sally is back. And because tomorrow's agenda at "praksis" is a bit exciting. My goodness, Louis Tomlinson has become a big brother yet again. Congratulations to Tommo. I hope there will be baby pictures, because awww. It appears that these days I make heart-eyes at both babies and dogs. Thought I was going to whine out loud because of this miniature schnauzer I saw today. It was so precious, bah. And then there was a little boy at the bus who played "let's look at that stranger and then hide behind the seat, and then I'll do it all over again". And he was so adorable. I sound like a proper softie, don't I? Anyway, it's the weekend tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it. But first of all, I need to finish my log. 

love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections

All of Me by John Legend has been on repeat the past 24 hours. It's really nice. Yesterday I almost missed the bus because the fan fiction I was reading was so captivating. I looked up from where I was sat on a bench, and I realised it was only two minutes until the bus was supposed to leave the platform. Today was another fun day at "praksis", but I got a little head ache after inhaling the scent of paint for too long. I suspect it has a lot to do with the fact that I've not gotten nearly enough water the past few days. So now I've been feeding myself water upon water. Anyway, I went to the library right after "praksis" and I found three books I want to read despite all the work I already have. One of them I've been wanting to read for months, actually. So I can't wait to start reading it. I'm going to enjoy myself and catch up on all the things I want to catch up on until 6:00 pm, and then it's exercise, shower, school work and bed. Very exciting days, I have. Nah, but I'm really knackered today, and I'm already counting down the days for the weekend, which is in two days. So, basically nothing. Also, ever since I decided to get more sleep, it means I've got less time dedicated to my spare time, so it feels like all I do these days are school work. Which, is quite true. 

I wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother

I can't remember when I bought Teenage Dreams by Katy Perry. But I must have, or someone must have given it to me. But I think I bought it myself. And trust me, I've listened to this CD loads. So it was definitely worth the money. I was just reminded of it yesterday, because I chose to listen to it when I was exercising yesterday, and I'd forgotten how much I love it. Also, the title of this blogpost is from the song Circle The Drain, which I love the lyrics for. Especially this part: "You fall asleep during foreplay cause the pills you take, are more your forte". It's hilarious. Anyway, I just screamed really loud in annoyance because one of the people I follow on Tumblr had been to a Kodaline concert yesterday. It feels like someone's rubbing dirt in my wound, really. Oh well, I'm healthy and I have freedom of speech. Latter is a human right, I'm pretty sure, but sadly not everyone gets to take advantage of that. Allie and I actually had a proper discussion around that topic today at lunch. About Olympics and whatnot, and she told me she'd been apprehensive about watching it too. For similar reasons as mine. I do actually love watching cross country skiing. But it makes me feel a bit sick, to think that the Olympics are arranged in a country that basically doesn't allow for freedom of speech, and so many other things I can't find myself to write here. It gives me associations to another time, and it's sad to see that in 2014, we're still at this stage. Anyway, it's strange, how you get to know bits and pieces of people. Allie and I had a little discussion around a book we both read for "praksis", and it turns out she's a book lover, as I am. If not, more. I am so pleased, and it reminded me of a picture Sugar shared with me a few days ago, actually. It's been a slow day at "praksis" today, and I really did notice Sally's absence. Also, I'm not actually used to be there on Mondays, so it was slightly confusing. Anyway, I noticed a new scrape on my knee this morning, still concerned about how I get them. But now I'm going to get myself a cuppa, and maybe something to eat, and perhaps a piece of cake. And then I'm going to write on my paper, and send e-mails to my teacher. Hope everyone's having a brilliant Monday. 

I read this, and I laughed. And then I cried, then I cried some more. I wish I knew who made this, but I don't.

you've got a second chance, you could go home

Hiya. In my relief, I actually wrote something other than school related things yesterday. Especially since most of the time when I write, it's usually when it's 3:00 am. And I can't remember the last time I was awake after midnight. I've been up since approx 7:00 am, so it's half through my day already. My dad came barging in my bedroom yesterday at 11:00 pm. What's up with my parents barging in my bedroom? Jeez. Anyway, he said: "oh, you've gone to bed already?" "yes" "are you going to "praksis" tomorrow?" "no" "ok, well, it's mothersday tomorrow, are you going to make a cake" "sure". And that was our conversation, me with my head smashed into my pillow. At 7:30 am, I had my breakfast and finished reading a fan fiction I started on yesterday. And then I made brownies (which is why I stink chocolate), watched cross country skiing (who the bloody hell puts commercials in between the race??), and I gave my mum the card I made yesterday, which she seemed to really like. I've now cleaned my bedroom, and stupidly let myself start reading another fan fiction. And the problem with that, is that nowadays I only read long ones, and it's really hard to start reading one without finishing it. Blah. I must trust my willpower today. I am going to write on my paper today, and I think I might make myself a detailed schedule for each day this week. It's already Monday tomorrow, and it means I'll have to go back to "praksis" which sucks a bit. I'm really starting to look forward to get done with "praksis". It's been yet another hard period with loads of work. But then again, life is hard, innit? I seem to have adopted a scratch mark on my tummy. Either I must have had a violent dream, or I've just been careless and scraped myself on some kind of surface. I think it's slightly freaky, how I get these bruises and small scrapes, and I never know how. Like, I can't even feel the pain? Anyway, enough of these pondering thoughts. I ought to get some proper food in my tummy now, and then I'm seriously going to do school work. Promise. 

hell if I really mind, if it's who you are

It's stupid, because once I fall in love with a band, they've already toured over here. And I've missed the opportunity. The worst is when I don't realise they have a gig here, and the tickets are sold out before I know. That's a pain. I woke up today, a bit disorientated. Because for the first time in ages, it was bright in my bedroom when I woke up. For a minute there, I thought I'd slept in on a "praksis" day, but I finally got to my senses and realised it was the weekend. Either I didn't put on my alarm yesterday, or I must have turned it off and then proceeded to fallen asleep again without remembering. My alarm was originally set on 8:00 am, if I remembered setting it. But I woke up at 8:30 am, and I sat up to look out of the window where I could see the snow dripping off the branches of the tree in the sun (first picture). I really did think the snow would stop eventually, but the past days have proved me wrong. Anyway, before this I was startled awake at 5:45 am by my bladder, I suspect. Almost laughed as I stumbled through the hallway in the dark on my way to the loo. 5:45 am is when I usually wake up on a regular "praksis" day. My body really has adapted to the routine, and I hope I'll keep some of it once I'm done with this "praksis". There's something nice with having a routine, because it forces me into doing things before I have to go to bed, makes me plan my hours of the day. Anyway, I got up and had breakfast, before I watched cross country skiing. Wee, gold and bronze. That's good. I also helped Monchita cut/shave her hair. I should do some school work now. I should. Except I really want to read fan fiction instead, which I'm probably going to end up doing. But that's alright. I'll allow myself do that, actually. What's life if you're not going to indulge yourself with things you want to do? Oh, once I've actually been home for more things then to sleep, I remembered my craving for crisps and chocolate cookies. My goodness, they should be banned from the house. It's mothers-day tomorrow, and I'm trying to come up with something creative. But my creativeness has fallen short. I've fallen in love with a tune called Paper Knees by The Careful Ones. I think it's delightful. I think I'm going to eat now, enjoy a bit silent time before I do something productive. Have a lovely, lovely Saturday! 

can you hear me hopeless, louder than ever before

When I got home today, I had some food before I threw off my clothes and slumped into bed. My hair smells a bit like pizza, a consequence of trying to scrub an oven clean after having a pizza explosion. Well, maybe it's a bit exaggerating, but yes. Sally has abandoned me for a trip to New York, well, me and Allie. Except Allie isn't even in my floor, so I expect next week at "praksis" to be a slow one. I'll tell you one thing, and that is that I nearly cried because of how proud I was for my primary patient today. She's come such a long way, and I get this feeling of happiness threatening to burst out of my chest when I see her smile. I've had a good day in "praksis" today, if you can't already tell. Well, to be honest, the whole week has been pretty great. Wednesday, I had a half day shift, and then a night shift. I was barely home for about two hours before I had to get back to "praksis". To my surprise, I had a really lovely night. It was so relaxing, and there was a whole other atmosphere. Sweet Sally drove me home because she was driving in my direction anyway. Immediately removed any make up left on my face, brushed my teeth and dove into bed. Because on Thursday, I had the day shift, which means I have to wake up at six in the morning. Thursday was also evaluation day, which turned out to be a bit like oral examination. It went fine, or as good as it could go, I guess. I was very relieved to be done with it, and Sally and I had a discussion about it in the copy room. Probably stood there for twenty minutes, discussing. It was only slightly awkward when one of the psychologists opened the door and cleared his throat. When I got home on Thursday, which is also yesterday, I ate some food, before I exercised, showered, got ready and ate a bit again. And then I ran out of the door with wet hair, waiting for the bus which strangely was almost on time. I had expected a long delay due to the falling snow. Guess it was my lucky day. I was about to call Kiwi, when I spotted her walking in my direction. We headed over to the concert area, and got our tickets before we sat down to have a little catch up. I'll admit that I had actually only heard about two songs by Jonas Alaska before we went to his little gig yesterday, so I was far from prepared. We also happened to be sitting, which is a new thing for me. I'm pretty used to standing when I attend concerts. But it was a relief for my poor feet. I didn't get completely mesmerised, to be honest. But at times, I felt a bit outside of my body. It happens sometimes, when I'm at concerts, and staring intently at the artist(s). Also, when he sang If Only As A Ghost, I was shocked to realise how alike it was to the studio version. It's such a nice song, and it almost made me shed a tear. He's a really good artist, and a really good entertainer too. A bit awkward and humorous at the same time, which is always a good thing. His brother, however, is a real gem. Couldn't keep my grin off my face when I watched his enthusiastic ways of playing the drums. I do wonder if he's aware of the faces he makes when he's playing. I said goodbye to Kiwi shortly after the concert and left her to wait for her bus by herself (sounds like I abandoned her in a dark bus shelter late at a cold night. Not exactly what I did, but very similar, ha). Managed to get in bed by a pretty good time, considering. And well, then there was today, and now I'm here. My dad called me to tell me to record the Olympic opening ceremony today. I've decided against watching it, mostly because I'd rather spend my time catching up with all the things I've missed these past days, where it feels like I've not been home for anything but to sleep. But also in a little protest. I'm just not so very happy with Russia's president. I've already addressed that matter before, so I won't repeat it. However, I am going to watch the Olympics, course I am. Well, to be honest, I'll have to see how much time I can actually spend on watching the telly, when I've already got so much to do. I intend to spend the last hours of this day to my joy, and hopefully sleep a bit longer than 6:00 am tomorrow. And then I'm going to spend my weekend doing school work, actually. Have a nice Friday evening xx. 

all I want is, and all I need is to find somebody

Hiya, been chanting "fuck, fuck, fuck" over and over again for the past minute. I didn't realise I needed to send a draft of my paper to my teacher. Sally told me she'd done it yesterday, and well. I've not been very productive during the weekend. So I've been working on it today. Hence why I'm still awake as well. I asked my sister about eating disorders yesterday, and she concluded with: "no, you're still eating, aren't you?" "yes" "well, then there you go". Very simple of her, in which I started a whole lecture about the seriousness of eating disorders and that everyone can get them. And that I wouldn't be surprised if she knew people who has eating disorders. Also had quite a few discussions with her, or, well, almost lectures. Basically, I talked about shitty health insurance in the USA and mental issues, and she just hummed and agreed. It might seem unnecessary, but you should never underestimate the power of awareness. Tomorrow I have the late shift at my "praksis". Except there's something I wanted to come along with in the morning, so I'm doing half a morning shift, and then the late shift. Oh dear, I'm going to be so tired when the weekend rolls around, which, is in no time. I feel like the time is just flying past me. Oh, and you should check out Birdy's #BRITs2014 playlist. I clicked on it yesterday, and was highly pleased that almost all of the songs were some of my current favourites. Er, night, I ought to finish before I get no sleep. Bah. 

swore upon my sun I'd save you for a rainy day

I've fallen in love with Ellie Goulding's style, I think. She dresses in very sporty gear sometimes, and I've found that I really like it. Also, she's an inspiration in the sense of exercise. If you follow her on Instagram you'll understand, probably. I just genuinely really like Ellie Goulding. Strangely enough, I've been keeping up my exercise regime. And jeez, next year I might even actively try getting into "summer shape" or whatever it's called. I say I "might" because, I've never been the person to base my exercise upon changing my body. It's always been because I'm worried my inside (organs and whatnot) are in a horrid state. I mean, I was blessed with good genes (and I've always been very active during my childhood), and therefore I've always stayed rather slender. But I've always been a big eater. At least I used to. And this made me worry about the state of my health, which again prodded me to exercise. A few weeks ago, my friends joked about something to do with my eating habits. And my mum has increased her nagging at me to eat more, though she always has. I'm going to ask my sister later on, if she thinks I've developed an eating disorder. I'm just curious, is this a real concern? It is true that I've cut down on portions, and I've started trying to avoid the most unhealthy things. But that's because I've realised that my body doesn't need that amount of nutrition. Also, maybe it's something psychological in it, because it seems like my body has stopped needing as much nutrition the past year. Like, I can't eat a lot of food just before bedtime, or I won't sleep very well. Or is that just ageing? Anyway, if there is real concern, I'm very grateful, because eating disorders are a serious matter. And among the things I don't ever want to experience, eating disorders are high on the list. Like, I'm genuinely afraid of it-- have been since I had a presentation about it in high school. Anyway, this turned into a very serious topic. I went to the mall for a quick trip today (like the Saturday trip with Marble and Kiwi wasn't enough), and among the things I bought, I bought this sports bra from H&M. I've grown an obsession with grey coloured exercise wear for some reason. I just think it looks really pretty, for some strange reason. Would it be really strange if I started wearing jogging bottoms? Oh wow, seventeen year old me would cringe at twenty year old me. Now I really want to go to Nike Town in London. Blah. I decided to make this picture of Niall my background for my iPhone yesterday. Seemed to have been a good choice, because I can't avoid smiling when I see it. I'm a bit worried about how Niall will be recovering from his knee operation, as it's less than three months to their stadium tour. At least he was at a Taylor Swift concert yesterday. That must mean he's okay. D'you know The Vamps are the varmup band for Taylor? And then Ed Sheeran was a special guest on Saturday, and Sam Smith yesterday. It's a bit like imagining my iTunes library at the same place, ha. I'm really happy for a new Essiebutton vlog. It feels like I've been waiting for it forever, and when I saw it in my subscription box, I nearly fell off my chair with happiness. I'm going to grab something to eat and watch it. I ought to be productive today, as it is a fairly stressful week. Sally texted me just a few hours ago, and she was so sweet. Goodness, I think the next few months will be good. I hope so, at least. I also really want to go to Aalesund to visit my sister and co. But I'm rather broke, so we'll see. Anyway, have a nice Monday!