I'm trying to keep the lights from going out and the clouds from ripping out my broken heart. They always say a heart is not a home without the one who gets you through the storm

When I was exercising yesterday, I listened to Lines, Vines and Trying Times by The Jonas Brothers. It's been awhile since I've listened to any of their songs, mainly because once I do, I have a habit of listening to all of their work non-stop. And then I also have to sing along to everything. Imagine, ha, me feet propped on the wall, and my hands on the floor, trying to hold myself in a 90 degree angle-- and singing along to Before The Storm. I woke up this morning at 7:30 am, to a blazing sun. I've not actually got curtains for one of my smaller windows, just because I enjoy the natural light. Thus far today I've listened to Grimmy's breakfast show on the radio. I've also spent the day falling in love with Kylie Jenner's grungy style and Lou Teasdale's hair. Ah, loving all the grunge. And I've braided my hair like the picture, just because change is nice. I originally wanted long hair for my sisters wedding, but now I'm not so sure. I mostly just want to chop it off, which is probably what I'm going to end up with. Unless my sister has another suggestion. Oh god, I might just let her do what she wants with it, actually. That's how desperate I am for a change. Also, maybe I should actually invest some money in hair styling products, ha! Just realised that maybe I should like, put some stuff in it. Oh god, I'm getting strange-- ought to go get some food now. Afterwards I might pop outside, and if I'm really good, I might even do some school work today. Well, I already have done some, but hopefully I'll do more. I just want to be able to cross off all the things I intend to do today. Then I'll be a very happy chap. Have a nice Friday xx. 

You say that you're stuck in a pale blue dream and your tears feel hot on my bedsheets. Drape your arms around me and softly say can we dance upon the tables again?

When I woke up this morning, startled out of sleep by my alarm, I mostly wanted to stay in bed and go back to sleep. I wanted to sleep for a long time, except, if I did go back to sleep, I'd most likely wake up at 8:00 am, two hours later. So I felt like it would be a waste to throw away a lecture only to sleep in two hours. Oh goodness, I just panicked a bit because I thought I'd left my camera at school or somewhat. But it was beneath my duvet. Stupid me must have put it there when I had a little "nap" after school. I wasn't that tired today, but I was sat reading a fan fiction during lectures, which is a bad habit. But it made me feel very nostalgic, because I used to do that all the time before. But I've stopped now, been good. Until today, that is. Yesterday my sister came inside my bedroom without knocking, probably assuming that I wasn't home. Anyway, she spotted me and threw a package at me in greeting. And I cheered, because fucking finally. I wrapped it up because it was originally a part of a birthday present. When I got to school, I'd almost forgotten about it, but during one of our breaks between the lecture, I dug it out of my rucksack, and presented it to Kiwi. I thought it was fitting, yesterday, when I opened the packaging, and saw the title of the CD "The First Days of Spring" by Noah And The Whale. Because that's basically what the past week has been. Anyway, I'm pretty sure she was happy to receive it. Because the lecturer had other plans, we got to leave a bit earlier. So Kiwi and I waited for Sugar and my belieber friend to have their little break. And I gave my belieber friend a birthday hug, as I had promised in a text message earlier. Happy birthday to her, though she admits to feeling old. I think we should all try to change our focus about ageing, rather be thankful to be able to live for however long you've lived. It's just that our society glorify youth and being young, so it's a bit hard appreciating ageing. But I'm going to try myself when it's my birthday. Somehow we got into a subject of television shows, and Kiwi said she'd become obsessed with How I Met Your Mother. I said that I used to watch it, and I fell in love with Barney, and then I had to stop watching it. I said something like that-- the last part mostly for myself. But the others heard and responded with snorts. "You quit watching it because you fell in love with Barney?" I think it was Sugar who asked, in exasperation. I'm not quite sure why I stopped watching it, but it was a period of my life where I was obsessed with HIMYM. I also managed to accidentally slip out details about HIMYM to Kiwi-- details she didn't know of yet. Whoops. Whilst chatting, we were stood by a window, so I had plenty of time to ogle pretty boys who were flocking my school-- well, pretty boys and a lot of other people. They were handing out free buns and some kind of drink outside my school, which must be the trick to attract pretty boys. Anyway, Sugar and my belieber friend had to return to lectures, and Kiwi was off home home. So I went to meet Allie and the other student in order to work on our paper. None of us had found a good research article about HIV/Aids-- I was sat with the only research article I found somewhat relevant this morning. Must say it's interesting to read about anal penetration whilst eating breakfast at 6:30 am. Oh, is this a bit too much PG-something? Right, anyway, we changed our theme, and now we've been really good. Might even get it done within Monday. And that's the great thing with being in a group with other hard-working people. Sally messaged me on Facebook, asking about my whereabouts yesterday. And she asked me if I couldn't fetch her final-assessment-evaluation-paper document-thingy. And I did, though I had already grabbed mine this morning before lectures. But I had to show Allie the way, so I figured I'd do it for her. And whilst I was at it, I figured that I could bring along Sugar's too. Allie and I met another student, who I just presumed had the same teacher as us. She's from Aalesund, and I firstly met her yesterday. We were sort of working together during our first lecture, and then we met again in the loo afterwards. And it's so strange, because listening to her dialect was like a punch in the gut, and I've never felt so "home"-sick before. It actually nearly made me weep a bit yesterday when I got home. But I'm counting the days. It's only four weeks now, and I can't wait. Anyway, I ought to go exercise now, and hopefully I'm not too tired of today. Because I really want to get some school work done before bed. Have a good night my precious (oh please understand this allusion. If you don't, you lose a hundred "cool" points) xx. 

live in cities you'll never see on screen. Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things, living in ruins of a palace within my dreams

Hello very, very lovely people! I'm in a strange happy-mood, so I'm sorry if this is slightly odd. I am very happy with the lovely weather that's been going on for the last week. And I think Kiwi might go a bit crazy with it, seeing as she kept smiling and rambling on about the weather each time we stepped outside. I mean-- I thought I liked nice weather, but Kiwi takes the cake. But it's really good innit? Love having happy people around me, it makes me happy as well. Today I skipped out on some lectures with the excuse that I was going to help Sugar with her paper. The thing is that whilst Kiwi and I are in the same class and have the same schedule, Sugar and my belieber friend are in another class and another schedule. And now Sugar and my belieber friend have the course I was just done with. Like, the "praksis" I started with in January and just ended last week, is the "praksis" they're starting in two weeks. Also, Sugar happens to have the same teacher as I just had, so basically, I could tell Sugar a lot of the things she would need to know. But yes, back to the point-- I was already planning on skipping out of the last lectures, because I am lazy. And well, because I wanted to get home and find a research article for tomorrow. Sugar and I took the train together, which we've done for the past week actually. I've no idea where my brain has been today, because I was a bit absent (my mind) during the first lecture, and at the train back home. Like, I can't even describe it, but imagine a big pot. Put my jumbled thoughts in it, mix it with my bad memory, and my poor ability to transfer my thoughts into coherent sentences. That's basically what happened as I tried explaining Sugar something. Oh well, better luck tomorrow. I am a bit stressed because I still need to find a research article, but it takes such a long time to read through one. And they're a bloody pain in the arse, is the thing. But it'll be alright, it won't be a crisis if I can't find a good one. I've learned to accept that sometimes I can't always have things go my way. Anyway, I think I must go now, and try to find an article or two. Also I should go, because I still can't properly transfer my thoughts into coherent sentences. My head is a really weird place today. Or maybe I've finally gone crazy. Or like, I might just be tired. 

don't know where I'm going, but I'm finding my way

Hiyaaaaaaa. I took these pictures this morning just before the sun was beginning to show, and the sky was a bit pink. It was a very pretty sight, and I stumbled around in the darkness in my bedroom, trying to be all photograph-y. Mind you, it was about 6:00 am, and I'd just woken up. Today was my second day back at school, and I've already started to not enjoy it. Mostly because I don't enjoy sitting for too long. My bum went all numb today, and I was just a bit tired. Nevertheless, I got through the two lectures, before I had lunch and then a meeting with my new "praksis" group??? I'm not quite sure what to call them all. I don't quite think I like my teacher, but I'll give her the benefit of doubt. Because I am spending the next ten weeks in her company-- or well, I'll see her sometimes during the next ten weeks. I was a bit surprised yesterday, to realise that we had two papers for this "praksis", because the main paper is huge. But we do have two papers. We started the first today, and I am luckily in groups with Allie. I was speaking with Sugar who was complaining about group projects and whatnot. I think we all hate working in groups? And I can distinctly remember back in high school, when Sugar and I both attended psychology (well, Ale, too). Our teacher would always put us in groups. I always thought it was horrible. It felt like I didn't gain anything from it, to be honest. And I guess that's why I've been so negative to group projects to this very day. I am however in a good group right now, and I think we'll all be very effective. But it also means I'll have to find a research article quickly, because we have to present our paper in a week. Oh dear, I can't wait for when we have a bit more relaxing schedule. Anyway, one of the lectures were about exercising and activity, and I was of course inspired to choose healthier options. So I took the stairs up 7 floors. Also walked from the train station today, which took me exactly twenty minutes from the second I got off the train. I also had a little run from the post office, mostly because it was cold and windy. But it was definitely apparent that I've not had a run in forever. I want to say that I'm going to be effective and find an article now, but I'm most likely to finish reading this bloody fan fiction at 1409 pages on my iBook. It's a bit longer than I usually read, but it's amazing. Oh, that reminds me-- I knocked on Monchita's door yesterday. I said: "hi, I've just got a lot to say about One Direction, and you don't have to listen, but I just have to say it". And then I went on a long rant. Ohhhh, the tour starts in a month! My One Direction heart will once again be refuelled. Anyway, I've been having a no-make-up policy the past few days. I've decided that I want to avoid make-up as much as I can. It's really nice, saves me time, and I can rub my eyes. Admittedly I look a bit rubbish and tired, but you know, I have to weigh my priorities. Anyway, have a nice Tuesday evening. I'll go do some exercises now, and then have a shower. 

I can't get your smile out of my mind

It's strange, because the prospect of officially becoming a nurse in just a bit over a year have been terrifying to me. I've always thought, oh no, I don't know anything-- how am I supposed to be a proper nurse if I haven't learned anything? Today was the first time (that I can recall) that I felt ready, almost. I felt content with the prospect, because I realised that I do know helluva lot of things I didn't know two years ago. But I'm surrounded by nurses all day everyday, it seems. So it's only when I'm with other people, explaining them things, when it suddenly hits me that maybe I'm using words they don't understand, or maybe I'm saying something with such ease, expecting people to understand what I'm talking about, when they don't. That's when it hits me that I've gained a knowledge that only fellow nurses do. I had proper school today, in which I mean I had a day of lectures. And I could feel myself nodding along to a lot of what was said. In some ways I already knew what they were conveying, but it was still nice to get some repetition and someone to organise the thoughts in my brain, I guess. I think that's what brought it on, because I was sat there in the bloody freezing auditorium, listening to one of the lectures, and I just understood everything, and it made me realise that I'm not that dumb. Which, might sound stupid to you, but it was how I felt. Anyway, the lectures were good too, which was a relief. I would hate to travel to school only to discover that the lectures are shit. Kiwi and I left an hour before, because Sugar and my belieber friend were already done, waiting in the cafeteria. Kiwi made sure to ask me if I didn't want to sit through the lecture, because she got the idea that I was enjoying them. And rightly so. My belieber friend and Sugar made sure to point out that I was skipping, laughing at me. It's all banter though, because I do usually sit through lectures. And I have done before, though they've left me. But I was a bit tired today, and I felt like I had gotten the gist of the lecture, and so I thought why not? The only thing was that Kiwi and I had to walk right past the lecturer on our ways out, which was very awkward. Earlier today, in the midst of the lectures, Kiwi and I had to go to the loo, where we spotted my belieber friend walking from the loo. And I wish I could have gotten a film of it-- but Kiwi and I waved frantically at my belieber friend, and her the same to us. And then we came skipping towards each other, and embraced in a group hug. It was very nice, and made me happy. I also got a proper hug from Sugar, which was nice. And then the kilo-gang was gathered once again, after being apart for quite awhile. I don't know whether it was because lectures had started again, and that we are all done with "praksis", or if it's just that we hadn't seen each other for a long time-- but there was this buzz of being assembled again. Like, I've noticed that we've got a tendency to get a bit loud, everyone talking over each other, and then we laugh manically at things which aren't really that funny. Er, I've just reread that, and it feels like symptoms of something else, ha. But yes, after Kiwi and I skipped out of our last hour of lectures, we all gathered our things and went to embrace the spring. We sat down at Joe & The Juice, which I think is basically another overrated and overpriced cafe(???). At least there were some good music at the start-- including Sam Smith, Disclosure and some Corona with Rythm of The Night. The latter I only know because I've been listening to Bastille's version of it. Which is ace. It's been a really nice day, and nice to see the gals. I spent Saturday and Sunday reading nurse related things, and at one point I felt physically stuffed with information. I feel like I've done good, so I'm going to be happy about that. Right now I'm actually reading an old bachelor by one of my previous nurse supervisors. Oh that's a thing too-- I actually thought of something I might possibly want to write about for my bachelor. I was really chuffed with myself when I scribbled it down on a paper. Right then, I'll leave you to whatever you're supposed to do. Go bloody do it now, so you can have some peace later on.