You can't cry. Put your glad rags on and let's sing along to that lonely song

Half-arsed work doesn't give me any satisfaction. I don't like the feeling of writing a shitty paper, and knowing it'll probably pass anyway. My sense of achievement is at the bottom of the bottle. I think I've mentioned multiple times that I don't feel like I've given much effort when it comes to my "praksis" this time around. But I know both of my supervisors and teacher thinks I'm a good student. I don't know, they might be right. I know I've learnt a lot, and I've gotten a lot of praise from co-workers. I just can't seem to accept the comments. I do have a tendency to be really hard on myself. I know it because I've heard it from almost all my previous supervisors and teachers. We should all just learn to be kinder to ourselves. But can someone tell me how? I have also felt surprisingly negative the past months. It feels like everyone around me are more chipper than I am. I don't mean to, but lately I just can't be bothered to look at the bright side. And I don't know why that is. Maybe I'm just exhausted, maybe it'll be better when I go back to school and lectures. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's just how life works. I feel a lot like this picture now. 

put your glad rags on and let's sing along to that lonely song

I am a little, very peeved that I can't watch Grimmy live, cycling. Bah, the downs with not living in Britain. Nick Grimshaw, the radiohost of the Breakfast Show at BBC Radio 1, is cycling for twelve hours combined for Sport Relief. Charity, basically. He's in his eight hour right now, and like-- how are you not dead yet? I don't care what people think about Grimmy, but I love him. And continuing on the list of people I love. It's never been any news to me that Niall Horan befriends everyone. But like, lately it's been a lot of married couples? I suppose it starts with befriending a person, and then their husband/wife too. I think it's a bit endearing, but I also think a lot of things are endearing. So excuse my sappiness. I think I woke up at 6:00 am today, though my alarm was set to 8:00 am. I think it's a combination of the routine of waking up at that time, and the bright light that wakes me up. I do believe that if my room was pitch black, I would have slept a lot longer. But I don't mind, I really like it-- waking up to sun and a blue sky. I was unhealthy and had the last bit of my crisps for breakfast today (I also had proper breakfast in addition), just because I couldn't resist. I went to school at 10:00 am, because my group had planned on working with our paper. And before I knew it, the time was 1:00 pm, and the lecture had already started. We sat for a bit longer, and then I figured it would probably be a waste of time to go sit through the lectures when my head was already filled with it's daily dose of school work. We are basically done with our paper, but I'm going to proof read it today, and then I actually have a lot of spare time this week. That's what happens when you're really effective, ha. I took the train home with Sugar, and I waved to Kiwi this morning. Ha, we were all sat in different places in our big cafeteria. "Where's Kiwi?" Sugar asked me, when I sat down with her, after my group had packed up and left. "Two tables behind you," I answered, a bit amused. I think it says a bit about the size of our cafeteria, when we could have all been sitting in the same cafeteria without noticing each other. Anyway, happy St. Patricks Day to everyone (or all the Irish people). 

your name is tattooed on every boy's skin

Hullo, thus far today I've managed to finish reading another book, this time it was a book filled with prose. I don't usually read prose, and it was more of an accident, than not. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it, and I'm always open to different things to read. It's called Eg er ikkje redd, eg er ikkje redd by Rune F. Hjemås, so it's not the same book as in the first picture. Nope, the book in the picture is an actual novel, and the one I finished reading yesterday. Now, this might make me look like a serial-reader (ha, get it? Oh, I love puns), but they were both really short, so it's not much. But who says you have to write a long book in order to make an impact? Anyway, I also read a research article (thirty pages of yummy content to read. That was so sarcastic I want to -- like, do something dramatic), because I actually managed to read the wrong research article for my group's paper. I'm also soon done reading a fan fiction of 1300 pages on iBook. I've also watched Wuthering Heights. I have read the book once, and it's in my personal collection. It's really morose, but what would you expect of Bronte? The film is also very morose, and I don't know what to think of it really. Just that I've realised it's so much easier watching people die in films, rather than animals. That was the worst part about the movie. However, it was really nice to see Kaya Scodelario again (the girl pictured on the DVD cover). I've really missed her as Effy in Skins. I have also cleaned my bedroom and changed my bedding. So, I've done a lot. I should feel productive, but I feel like there's so much more to do. And that annoys me a bit, that I can't be pleased with myself. The next things I have to do on this dull Sunday afternoon (erm, I think it's snowing?), is to exercise, have a shower and try to finish the group paper. For the past couple of days I've been obsessed with a song called Laura by Bat For Lashes. I don't quite know why, but I just love it. I suppose it brings me emotions. I hope you're all having a relaxing Sunday, which is what it should be.

you're the train that crashed my heart

Hiya pals! Yesterday I watched Appelsinpiken, which I think is one of my favourite Norwegian movies. And it's odd, because it's very romantic, and therefore mostly for romantics. I think a realist would say: "that's not possible" to a lot of scenes in the movie, but eh. I remember watching it at high school, and I started crying. And like, how awkward isn't it to cry in front of your classmates? Well, I didn't actually outright sob or anything, but I had to look to the roof a lot of time, trying to avoid tears. I thought maybe I'd have forgotten a lot of the movie, but as I watched it yesterday, it was almost like I'd just seen it. I have read the book, but I think it's a really good adaptation. Anyway, I bought crisps and chocolate crackers yesterday. Not the healthiest choice, but my good friend Sugar reminded me that you've got to let yourself go sometimes. I've not actually eaten any chocolate crackers yet, so I think they'll last me for the next week. This morning at 11:00 am, I went to the mall to meet Marble. She asked me yesterday if I wanted to join her, and it's been awhile, so I thought why not? It's an ongoing sale at the mall this weekend, and so there were like balloons and everything (half naked guys advertising for underwear). Initially, neither Marble or I had noticed anything out of order. Not until one of the ladies in ALDO said "it's twenty percent off today", and we were like "huh? oh, we didn't notice". And then she looked at us strangely and pointed at the balloons right outside the shop. "You didn't notice all of the decorations?". Well, we hadn't until she pointed it out. We spent three hours browsing the mall, where I got to drag Marble along to interior stores. The good thing about Marble, is that she likes a lot of things, and she's always open for new things. I think we're a lot of alike in that sense. But the point is that her personality allows me to drag her along to a lot of different things. And you can never actually say "no, she won't want to do that", because you never actually know. So I got to look at cups and sofas and tables, and everything. In return I tagged along to all the places she wanted to go. We had lunch, and then some frozen yoghurt as a dessert. "Was it you who made me taste frozen yoghurt?" I asked Marble before we decided to buy some frozen yoghurt. "I think you thought it was okay" "Oh, okay". After finishing my mango and strawberry yoghurt topped with kiwi, pomegranate, and blueberries, I said: "yeah, still think it's okay". I ended up buying some tea, because Sally and I got addicted to this brand of tea at our "praksis". And I also bought this Vitamin E serum by The Body Shop. Now I only need to find a good moisturiser. Because Marble had to wait a bit for her bus home, I asked if she didn't want to kill some time in the library. So we headed to the library, and she browsed through the books related to law, and I found two books about architecture and found myself a chair. I really enjoy just sitting at the library and browsing through different books. I think it's one of my favourite places. That reminds me that, I finally managed to finish reading a book that's been on my desk forever. It's been there for so long that I had to renew my loan on the book. So all in all, I've indulged in a lot of my favourite things today: interior, tea, skincare products, and books. I'd almost forgotten that it's iTunes festival right now, so there's a lot of great performances. I'm going to watch the Coldplay gig now, because hello-- it's Coldplay. And then I'm going to do a few things on my list to do, before I'll let myself do all the things I want. I have promised Kiwi to tune into something later on. Just got a snapchat to remind me actually, ha. Have a nice Saturday people xx. Have some chocolate, or not. I am going to have some.

You say that you're stuck in a pale blue dream and your tears feel hot on my bedsheets. Drape your arms around me and softly say can we dance upon the tables again?

When I woke up this morning, startled out of sleep by my alarm, I mostly wanted to stay in bed and go back to sleep. I wanted to sleep for a long time, except, if I did go back to sleep, I'd most likely wake up at 8:00 am, two hours later. So I felt like it would be a waste to throw away a lecture only to sleep in two hours. Oh goodness, I just panicked a bit because I thought I'd left my camera at school or somewhat. But it was beneath my duvet. Stupid me must have put it there when I had a little "nap" after school. I wasn't that tired today, but I was sat reading a fan fiction during lectures, which is a bad habit. But it made me feel very nostalgic, because I used to do that all the time before. But I've stopped now, been good. Until today, that is. Yesterday my sister came inside my bedroom without knocking, probably assuming that I wasn't home. Anyway, she spotted me and threw a package at me in greeting. And I cheered, because fucking finally. I wrapped it up because it was originally a part of a birthday present. When I got to school, I'd almost forgotten about it, but during one of our breaks between the lecture, I dug it out of my rucksack, and presented it to Kiwi. I thought it was fitting, yesterday, when I opened the packaging, and saw the title of the CD "The First Days of Spring" by Noah And The Whale. Because that's basically what the past week has been. Anyway, I'm pretty sure she was happy to receive it. Because the lecturer had other plans, we got to leave a bit earlier. So Kiwi and I waited for Sugar and my belieber friend to have their little break. And I gave my belieber friend a birthday hug, as I had promised in a text message earlier. Happy birthday to her, though she admits to feeling old. I think we should all try to change our focus about ageing, rather be thankful to be able to live for however long you've lived. It's just that our society glorify youth and being young, so it's a bit hard appreciating ageing. But I'm going to try myself when it's my birthday. Somehow we got into a subject of television shows, and Kiwi said she'd become obsessed with How I Met Your Mother. I said that I used to watch it, and I fell in love with Barney, and then I had to stop watching it. I said something like that-- the last part mostly for myself. But the others heard and responded with snorts. "You quit watching it because you fell in love with Barney?" I think it was Sugar who asked, in exasperation. I'm not quite sure why I stopped watching it, but it was a period of my life where I was obsessed with HIMYM. I also managed to accidentally slip out details about HIMYM to Kiwi-- details she didn't know of yet. Whoops. Whilst chatting, we were stood by a window, so I had plenty of time to ogle pretty boys who were flocking my school-- well, pretty boys and a lot of other people. They were handing out free buns and some kind of drink outside my school, which must be the trick to attract pretty boys. Anyway, Sugar and my belieber friend had to return to lectures, and Kiwi was off home home. So I went to meet Allie and the other student in order to work on our paper. None of us had found a good research article about HIV/Aids-- I was sat with the only research article I found somewhat relevant this morning. Must say it's interesting to read about anal penetration whilst eating breakfast at 6:30 am. Oh, is this a bit too much PG-something? Right, anyway, we changed our theme, and now we've been really good. Might even get it done within Monday. And that's the great thing with being in a group with other hard-working people. Sally messaged me on Facebook, asking about my whereabouts yesterday. And she asked me if I couldn't fetch her final-assessment-evaluation-paper document-thingy. And I did, though I had already grabbed mine this morning before lectures. But I had to show Allie the way, so I figured I'd do it for her. And whilst I was at it, I figured that I could bring along Sugar's too. Allie and I met another student, who I just presumed had the same teacher as us. She's from Aalesund, and I firstly met her yesterday. We were sort of working together during our first lecture, and then we met again in the loo afterwards. And it's so strange, because listening to her dialect was like a punch in the gut, and I've never felt so "home"-sick before. It actually nearly made me weep a bit yesterday when I got home. But I'm counting the days. It's only four weeks now, and I can't wait. Anyway, I ought to go exercise now, and hopefully I'm not too tired of today. Because I really want to get some school work done before bed. Have a good night my precious (oh please understand this allusion. If you don't, you lose a hundred "cool" points) xx.