I can't get your smile out of my mind

It's strange, because the prospect of officially becoming a nurse in just a bit over a year have been terrifying to me. I've always thought, oh no, I don't know anything-- how am I supposed to be a proper nurse if I haven't learned anything? Today was the first time (that I can recall) that I felt ready, almost. I felt content with the prospect, because I realised that I do know helluva lot of things I didn't know two years ago. But I'm surrounded by nurses all day everyday, it seems. So it's only when I'm with other people, explaining them things, when it suddenly hits me that maybe I'm using words they don't understand, or maybe I'm saying something with such ease, expecting people to understand what I'm talking about, when they don't. That's when it hits me that I've gained a knowledge that only fellow nurses do. I had proper school today, in which I mean I had a day of lectures. And I could feel myself nodding along to a lot of what was said. In some ways I already knew what they were conveying, but it was still nice to get some repetition and someone to organise the thoughts in my brain, I guess. I think that's what brought it on, because I was sat there in the bloody freezing auditorium, listening to one of the lectures, and I just understood everything, and it made me realise that I'm not that dumb. Which, might sound stupid to you, but it was how I felt. Anyway, the lectures were good too, which was a relief. I would hate to travel to school only to discover that the lectures are shit. Kiwi and I left an hour before, because Sugar and my belieber friend were already done, waiting in the cafeteria. Kiwi made sure to ask me if I didn't want to sit through the lecture, because she got the idea that I was enjoying them. And rightly so. My belieber friend and Sugar made sure to point out that I was skipping, laughing at me. It's all banter though, because I do usually sit through lectures. And I have done before, though they've left me. But I was a bit tired today, and I felt like I had gotten the gist of the lecture, and so I thought why not? The only thing was that Kiwi and I had to walk right past the lecturer on our ways out, which was very awkward. Earlier today, in the midst of the lectures, Kiwi and I had to go to the loo, where we spotted my belieber friend walking from the loo. And I wish I could have gotten a film of it-- but Kiwi and I waved frantically at my belieber friend, and her the same to us. And then we came skipping towards each other, and embraced in a group hug. It was very nice, and made me happy. I also got a proper hug from Sugar, which was nice. And then the kilo-gang was gathered once again, after being apart for quite awhile. I don't know whether it was because lectures had started again, and that we are all done with "praksis", or if it's just that we hadn't seen each other for a long time-- but there was this buzz of being assembled again. Like, I've noticed that we've got a tendency to get a bit loud, everyone talking over each other, and then we laugh manically at things which aren't really that funny. Er, I've just reread that, and it feels like symptoms of something else, ha. But yes, after Kiwi and I skipped out of our last hour of lectures, we all gathered our things and went to embrace the spring. We sat down at Joe & The Juice, which I think is basically another overrated and overpriced cafe(???). At least there were some good music at the start-- including Sam Smith, Disclosure and some Corona with Rythm of The Night. The latter I only know because I've been listening to Bastille's version of it. Which is ace. It's been a really nice day, and nice to see the gals. I spent Saturday and Sunday reading nurse related things, and at one point I felt physically stuffed with information. I feel like I've done good, so I'm going to be happy about that. Right now I'm actually reading an old bachelor by one of my previous nurse supervisors. Oh that's a thing too-- I actually thought of something I might possibly want to write about for my bachelor. I was really chuffed with myself when I scribbled it down on a paper. Right then, I'll leave you to whatever you're supposed to do. Go bloody do it now, so you can have some peace later on.