and as per usual, you were skipping and laughing eyes at the bedroom door

Hiya! So yesterday did get a bit bloody. There were quite a few wounds, and not coincidentally- I was a part of most of them. The only trick to getting over the wooziness I've been experiencing, is to face the wounds. But it went very well yesterday, didn't feel very woozy and I didn't have to lie down! And that's an accomplishment in itself. It was quite busy yesterday, and I didn't sit down much. But I really enjoyed working with the co-workers yesterday. They have such a great banter in between them, and it makes the atmosphere so much lighter. Anyway, I got to go a bit earlier as per usual, so I jogged to the wardrobes in order to catch the bus. It's the third night in row that I've gotten home really late. I did listen to Re:Stacks on the way home, albeit this time not coincidentally. The sky was a bit cloudy, so there weren't any stars to be seen, which was a bit disappointing. But once I got home, I ate, sat down to watch the ending of what seemed like a horror movie. "I don't understand the plot?" I said, and my brother agreed, though he'd probably seen the whole thing. I went to bed around half one? And I woke up at 9:00 am with sunshine on my face. Had avocado on toasted bread and a cup of tea for breakfast (plus three cookies, naughty me) whilst reading a fan fiction. It was average, eh, but it did make me weep a bit. After that I finally cleaned my bedroom, and it's now (mostly) free of dust. Ugh, I hate seeing dust collecting, it's one of my pet peeves probably. I've also got fresh duvet covers, which is always lovely. After that I watched a bit of Grand Designs, until I decided that watching Kevin McCloud ala 1990 wasn't in my interests. Instead I watched Norwegian Idol and then X Factor UK. They were both funny, because both are at the auditions stage. However, the latter was hilarious. I've never given the X Factor UK a go, because I'm not usually a TV-person. But my goodness, the production is ace, because I think it's both a bit mocking "yes, this is a talent show and there's a lot of crazy people on it" but it's also serious in the fact that it becomes a serious competition-- that this is a competition that can help someone fulfil their dreams. I must admit that I'm surprised that they so oftenly use One Direction songs as background songs. "Do you know who sings this song?" I asked my brother. He said no, and I exclaimed: "it's One Direction!". I can't even tell you how many times this happened, but it was several times. If I can find time for it, I'm going to start watching it regularly, I think. It did make me miss Lynx and Grepper a bit, though. Because I mostly only watch these kind of reality shows when I'm at theirs because my sister is obsessed. After my TV session, I went upstairs and organised the pictures in my photoalbum. So now they're organised after dates. Years from now, when I'm 40 I'll look at a picture and wonder when I took that. I'll pull out the picture, and thank the 21-year-old-me for writing the dates behind the pictures. I did realise that I've not got any pictures from last year, so I think I'm going to get some printed. It was very nostalgic to look through the pictures, and it made me smile. We mostly only take pictures of the good moments in life, at least I do, so obviously it'll make me happy to see the pictures I've taken throughout the past six years. Oh dear, I must go exercise now. My Sunday funday is nearly over, and I've come to really love these days of not having to do anything other than what I want. Tomorrow I've got another night shift, which will be my third in a row. But I don't mind it because I quite enjoy it. And as I told Oyster the other day: I seem to enjoy walking around when it's dark and no one's around more than I enjoy walking around in the daylight and with people around. Anyway, have a nice Sunday evening x. 

I'm reaching out to you, can you hear my call?

I hate brewing tea, only to forget it and go brush my teeth. There's a certain disappointment about doing that because I love my tea. Also, yesterday I had a cookie before 9:00 am, which I felt a bit bad about. And that's horrible! I can't even remember the day I started feeling bad about eating unhealthy foods, and I distinctly remember that I once said I couldn't understand why people felt bad about eating unhealthy. Gah, nine-year-old me would be so disappointed. I was really lazy on Thursday, and figured it'd be fine to not read curriculum, when I'm supposed to read approximately 33 pages each week. However, it was a bit silent at my "praksis" the first few hours, so I got some reading done then. I've been marking so many lines that my green marker pen has gone out of colour? I guess pink will have to do now. Can we talk about some serious things? When you get a whistle, walking past men, or when you have men staring intently at you-- how does it make you feel? Do you feel pretty? Do you feel good? Do you take it as a compliment? Or do you feel creped out? The thing is that, society is a twisted thing, because it's human made. And humans are twisted people, believe it or not. From young age girls are taught that attention from males are a positive thing. So obviously we are expected to feel flattered about catcalls when we walk past a group a men. "Some of you might think, no, that's not true. I think it's creepy". But will you think the same when the men are young and gorgeous, rather than old and disgusting? Because they're both doing the same thing. We've got so many values and distorted images internalised in our society, people don't see them-- it's just another day in life, innit? It's been on my mind since I was standing at the bus stop at 6:55 am, and there were five cars driving past after each other, and every driver was a male and all stared at me. Right, I could go on about this for ages, but I'm not going to. I talked about it with Oyster yesterday, so I let out a bit steam then. "Praksis" on Thursday was a bit silent at the start. I said "it's good that there's not many injuries, but it's really quiet". Might have jinxed us, because at the end of the night there were too many patients to be done at the time my "praksis" usually closes. But it was really good, I thought. I got to go a bit earlier, and it was almost like I didn't want to leave. I wouldn't have minded to stay there to midnight (unless if I would have a day shift the day after). I spent the morning yesterday exercising, reading curriculum and drinking tea. (11:11. God, it's here again). Then I went to pick up my pictures, which I was seriously excited about. I've put them in my album, and now I just want to go buy another disposable camera. I wandered around the mall for a bit because I wanted to find a pair of clothing I've been looking for since forever. Maybe I'm just too picky, because I didn't find anything yesterday. After realising the time, I went to the bus stop. I got to Oyster's a bit after 4:00 pm, where I was served food and dessert. As I mentioned, I've not seen her for months, so we talked for the most of the evening. Oyster guessed I'll find a businessman someday, and she was just describing how business-y he'd be, and I said: "do you mean Niall Horan?". Sadly she said no, so apparently I'm not marrying Niall Horan. But that's fine, he's too young, innit? Look at what she got me, though: donut pj's! I got them for my birthday present along with some other things. At 11:00 pm I said it was time for me to go, so I did. Usually I'd probably just spend the night, but I've got "praksis" today. So I walked to the bus stop, wondering if the bus would be filled with tipsy people. There were only two who seemed quite tipsy: a couple, whom I initially thought were about 60 by the way the girl was wearing a pastel coloured beret. They were sat quite close to me and snogging the breath out of each other. I found myself smiling, thinking "ah, life". Once I got to the bus station, I caught eyes with a man, as you sometimes do. He was one of those pretty ones with tanned skin, dark eyes and even had a hat on his head. And as I so often find myself doing, I cursed all the pretty boys. I'm probably never going to see him again, and I'll forget about this like I've forgotten everyone else. Each time I've gotten home late, my phone has coincidentally started playing Re:Stacks, and it's the best thing ever, like my phone genuinely knows me. Anyway, it's soon noon, which means it's not long until I'm going to "praksis". Can't say I'm looking forward to it much, and as I told Oyster, I hope there's not too much blood today. Am looking forward to listen to Re:Stacks this evening when I get home, though. And I am looking forward for a day off tomorrow to do nothing school related (unless I decide to do some, that is). Also looking forward to clean my bedroom because it's a mess right now, but cannot be bothered to clean it up right now. 

darling when your feet are cold, wait up I'm coming home

Hello. Feel like I've been eating all day long, and it's sort of true. Due to my dizziness that comes along with bloody things (I'm not quite sure what causes the dizziness, because I don't actually think it's the blood), I've been pestered to eat and drink quite regularly. So, Manja (so many names that starts with an M? But this is the student I am at "praksis" with) told me at 10:00 am: "I think you should go have a snack now". And I did. Then I was supposed to come along to inspect a wound, but first I was told to go drink a glass of juice. We had lunch at 11:30 am, then I was told to grab a bite at 2:00 pm as well. Then I had some cake at 3:00 pm? So basically I have been eating all day. But yeah, although I'm really annoyed with my reaction to these blood involved happenings, I think it's really sweet how all the coworkers around me seem to care. Tomorrow I have a late shift at "praksis", and then at Friday I'm finally seeing Oyster again, whom I've not seen for several months. Also, next week Ale is coming to stay at my house because we're seeing Pharrell Williams in concert. Admittedly, I've not listened much to his music, and usually I'll do it to prepare myself for a concert. But I don't like the idea of forcing music upon myself? I'll listen to it if/when I want to listen to it, not because I "have to". I am quite chuffed that Foxes is one of the opening acts. Which reminds me of iTunes Festival-- the line up for this years iTunes Festival looks pretty great with the likes of 5SOS, Maroon 5, Ed Sheeran, Hozier, Ben Howard, Kylie Minogue, Rudimental, Jess Glynne, Rae Morris, Luke Sital-Singh, Pharrell Williams, Foxes, Sam Smith and many more. I am quite tired now, so I might just head to bed and have an early morning tomorrow. 

When the evening pulls the sun down, and the day is almost through, the whole world it is sleeping. But my world is you.

Came home from Dublin with these beauty products. Realised I now (almost) have a full Borjours kit. Spent my morning rewatching an interview of Niall and Liam promoting their new perfume. Then I spent some time annoyed at Niall for tweeting about their new album, because he must write when. Someone send me new music please, ha. On my way to "praksis" today I kept up the "be in the moment" thing. "I am breathing fresh air. I am at the hospital". Almost passed out at "praksis" today because of too much blood involved due to minor surgeries. Gah, frustrating stuff. Got home and got rid of a huge weight off my shoulders (metaphor, don't actually walk around with weights on my shoulders). Went to the grocery store and bought nine items for about ten pounds (yes! #studentlife). Did I mention that I've got a big purple bruise on my thigh (one of which I actually know the cause of)? Also, did I mention that I got stung by a wasp? I felt a sudden sting on my heel, but I didn't think much of it. But then I felt this burning sensation that was a bit too familiar. I was sat on the couch watching television, when I started jumping up and down and shouting "why me? What did I ever do to you?". My mum thought I had gone crazy. I was jumping to divert myself from thinking of the pain. Last time I was stung, I was bicycling home, and therefore I didn't really feel that much pain. But this time it singed for a long time. I'm probably going to develop a phobia against wasps. Oh well, life goes on. I am going to do something that I categorise as an "adult" thing, and am therefore not excited. Then I am going to read curriculum. Definitely feel like I have an eventful life today. Nah, life is good. And it's September, which means it's three months until December, which means Christmas is around the corner. Can't wait to start listening to Christmas music! 

I've been thinking about you, babe

Hello, this is my current hair, although it's normally straight. And yes, yes, I am naked in this picture (that is not actually true, but I suspect you can't really sense the sarcasm through written words. That makes me think of famous writers and how we've interpreted their works. What if they wrote something sarcastic, and everyone thinks they were serious? How annoying). I really enjoy having shorter hair, and like Sugar told me, it's sort of the "normal" me. However I must admit that I am highly annoyed I cannot put my hair in a high ponytail without having to use bobby pins. Yesterday was a much needed day off, and I almost felt like I had to do something productive. I let myself read one line about something I was curious about from my curriculum. The problem about always reading so much curriculum, is that sometimes a word just pops into my mind, and I'm like "what did that mean?". Because I can't be bothered to check it up, it'll stay in my mind for ages. But once I bother to check the word, it's like my mind says "alright, off you go word. I'll be silent now, won't pester you human. You go on do whatever you want to do". I spent the morning yesterday reading all the fan fictions I wanted to read, then I caught up with Youtube videos whilst watching Grand Designs. God it's been a long time since I've watched Kevin McCloud appreciate architecture. Since it was Sunday, there's usually Grand Designs' marathon. Sadly I realised I had watched all the other episodes, so I retreated to my bedroom where I watched videos from recent One Direction concerts. I was contemplating whether to exercise or not, because it was supposed to be my day of "do whatever you want". But in the end I found that I wanted to exercise, so I put on some old Ed Sheeran, which was really nice. Sang along to all of the songs, and remembered how much I love his old album. Speaking of new music, I am so ready for One Direction to release some new music. They've been dropping hints forever, it seems. And usually they'd have a new single out by now? Or something. Anyway, after exercising and having supper, I rearranged my closet because of the more autumnal weather. I hate having clothes that I don't use hanging in my closet. It just makes it harder to find an outfit that I want to wear. I then went through Asos to see if I could find a nice coat, because I want a new coat. I want all the coats to be honest. When I was in Dublin, I saw a coat in New Look, which was gorgeous. And I regret not buying it so much. What's annoying with this, is that I'm probably going to look at coats and compare them to the one I saw and fell in love with. And none will ever be better than that damned coat. Oh well. Once I was done with looking through Asos, it was suddenly 11:00 pm, and silly me decided that the last thing I wanted to do yesterday was to cry. So I started re-reading a fan fiction that I was supposed to wait to read until it was finished. It's just such a good fan fiction that makes my heart clench. I was basically just sobbing throughout the whole thing, but once I was done, there was a smile on my face (I hadn't read the most recent chapter, and it seems like things are turning better for the protagonist). I met Monchita in the bathroom. Confused, I asked her if she had just woken up for a trip to the loo, because it was 1:40 am. She said no, told me she was just going to bed then. My eyes felt really puffy and my nose snotty. But I felt a lot better because I don't think I've cried in a really long time? I did feel a bit like my eyes were swollen this morning when I woke up at 9:00 am. I've been at my old "praksis" for a little trip, and it was very strange to be back. I was just dropping something off, before I went back home. On the bus I was scrolling through my Instagram, when I thought "mindfulness, be in the moment". So I put my phone back in the pocket and tried to be in the moment, "I'm on the bus. We're driving at this very moment, and I can feel my body breathing". Admittedly I don't think I'm very good at mindfulness and being in the moment, and I felt a bit strange when I kept thinking "I'm on a bus". But I think it's important to be in the moment, and be aware of your surroundings. Especially since we're such a multitasking society. Everyone's on autopilot, it seems. I was listening to a playlist with all of the songs I've been listening to this summer (and pre-summer, really), which made me really happy. I wanted to listen to Grimmy this morning, as it's his first day back from having a well-deserved holiday for two weeks(?). But since I had to go to my old "praksis" I missed that. However, I am going to listen to him later on when I'm exercising. I am really hungry now, so I'm going to grab myself some lunch. I am spending my day reading curriculum and doing school work. Mostly, at least. I need to go to the shops, but I can't be bothered to get out of the house again, so I might just stop by on my way home from "praksis" tomorrow.