I'm reaching out to you, can you hear my call?

I hate brewing tea, only to forget it and go brush my teeth. There's a certain disappointment about doing that because I love my tea. Also, yesterday I had a cookie before 9:00 am, which I felt a bit bad about. And that's horrible! I can't even remember the day I started feeling bad about eating unhealthy foods, and I distinctly remember that I once said I couldn't understand why people felt bad about eating unhealthy. Gah, nine-year-old me would be so disappointed. I was really lazy on Thursday, and figured it'd be fine to not read curriculum, when I'm supposed to read approximately 33 pages each week. However, it was a bit silent at my "praksis" the first few hours, so I got some reading done then. I've been marking so many lines that my green marker pen has gone out of colour? I guess pink will have to do now. Can we talk about some serious things? When you get a whistle, walking past men, or when you have men staring intently at you-- how does it make you feel? Do you feel pretty? Do you feel good? Do you take it as a compliment? Or do you feel creped out? The thing is that, society is a twisted thing, because it's human made. And humans are twisted people, believe it or not. From young age girls are taught that attention from males are a positive thing. So obviously we are expected to feel flattered about catcalls when we walk past a group a men. "Some of you might think, no, that's not true. I think it's creepy". But will you think the same when the men are young and gorgeous, rather than old and disgusting? Because they're both doing the same thing. We've got so many values and distorted images internalised in our society, people don't see them-- it's just another day in life, innit? It's been on my mind since I was standing at the bus stop at 6:55 am, and there were five cars driving past after each other, and every driver was a male and all stared at me. Right, I could go on about this for ages, but I'm not going to. I talked about it with Oyster yesterday, so I let out a bit steam then. "Praksis" on Thursday was a bit silent at the start. I said "it's good that there's not many injuries, but it's really quiet". Might have jinxed us, because at the end of the night there were too many patients to be done at the time my "praksis" usually closes. But it was really good, I thought. I got to go a bit earlier, and it was almost like I didn't want to leave. I wouldn't have minded to stay there to midnight (unless if I would have a day shift the day after). I spent the morning yesterday exercising, reading curriculum and drinking tea. (11:11. God, it's here again). Then I went to pick up my pictures, which I was seriously excited about. I've put them in my album, and now I just want to go buy another disposable camera. I wandered around the mall for a bit because I wanted to find a pair of clothing I've been looking for since forever. Maybe I'm just too picky, because I didn't find anything yesterday. After realising the time, I went to the bus stop. I got to Oyster's a bit after 4:00 pm, where I was served food and dessert. As I mentioned, I've not seen her for months, so we talked for the most of the evening. Oyster guessed I'll find a businessman someday, and she was just describing how business-y he'd be, and I said: "do you mean Niall Horan?". Sadly she said no, so apparently I'm not marrying Niall Horan. But that's fine, he's too young, innit? Look at what she got me, though: donut pj's! I got them for my birthday present along with some other things. At 11:00 pm I said it was time for me to go, so I did. Usually I'd probably just spend the night, but I've got "praksis" today. So I walked to the bus stop, wondering if the bus would be filled with tipsy people. There were only two who seemed quite tipsy: a couple, whom I initially thought were about 60 by the way the girl was wearing a pastel coloured beret. They were sat quite close to me and snogging the breath out of each other. I found myself smiling, thinking "ah, life". Once I got to the bus station, I caught eyes with a man, as you sometimes do. He was one of those pretty ones with tanned skin, dark eyes and even had a hat on his head. And as I so often find myself doing, I cursed all the pretty boys. I'm probably never going to see him again, and I'll forget about this like I've forgotten everyone else. Each time I've gotten home late, my phone has coincidentally started playing Re:Stacks, and it's the best thing ever, like my phone genuinely knows me. Anyway, it's soon noon, which means it's not long until I'm going to "praksis". Can't say I'm looking forward to it much, and as I told Oyster, I hope there's not too much blood today. Am looking forward to listen to Re:Stacks this evening when I get home, though. And I am looking forward for a day off tomorrow to do nothing school related (unless I decide to do some, that is). Also looking forward to clean my bedroom because it's a mess right now, but cannot be bothered to clean it up right now.