pillow talk turns into sweet dreams, sweet dreams turns into fucking in the morning

I was on my way to develop my pictures yesterday, after work, when I saw Oyster and her younger brother trying to cross the road. They ran across the road, and stopped for a chat. Then another childhood friend spotted us as well. It was strange and funny. Instead of going home after getting my pictures developed, I went to Oysters house, where she made me waffles. Well, the wafflemaker was gone, so she just put the batter on a pan, and it was really good! We did a bit more of planning towards Paris, and then we headed outside. Well, her brother and I headed outside, and I found a football in the garage whilst her brother was talking about cameras. We played a bit of footie, and then we used the football to play basketball. Eventually the rest of the family got home from Sweden, and I was cajoled into carrying bags, as they had bought all of Sweden probably. I ended up walking with Oyster and co towards the gym, as it's on my way home, and on the way I made Oyster listen to Drag Me Down. It's always so interesting for me to listen to people's opinions, especially Oyster because she doesn't really listen to One Direction. Speaking of One Direction, when is there not drama in the camp? This post is a great example of what it's like in the fandom. Good news is that there will be a One Direction baby in not so long. A tiny Louis replica, agh, babies. Anyway, they performed Drag Me Down on national television today, and Harry looked lovely in his silk bomber jacket! I do love it when he wears his bomber jackets. Not that my opinion on it matters, because in the end it's about Haz's own opinion. Just like how you should wear that jumper you think looks bloody cool instead of caring about what others will think of it. I know, it's hard, and I struggle with it every day, but I keep reminding myself. Hopefully one day I won't have to anymore. I just ordered something from the internet, and I'm crossing my fingers that it'll arrive this week, but I am 80% sure it'll arrive next week when I'm already gone. But that's fine anyway, because next week I'm going to be in Paris, which is surreal to say. Like, in six days I'll be in Paris. What the fuck. My body was shattered yesterday, like, when I got home I just melted my body into the sofa, because I was jello. Legs were hurting like they haven't in a long time, and if that's the consequence of skipping exercise for a long time, then, well, I hope I don't do that again. I am going to retreat from social medias for a bit, I think. Am going to watch the new episode of Teen Wolf before bed, coz I have work in the morning. 

all these lights, they can't blind me

I woke up this morning around 5-something to the sound of wind and rain splashing against my window. I was quite surprised to look out the window and see what looked like a storm. Obviously I went back to bed and let the sounds lull me to sleep. My bedroom feels bigger, and it should, after Lynx and Grepper moved my television from the room. Lynx said: "do you even use this?" whilst pointing at it. At that moment I was mourning a picture I somehow managed to break whilst hoovering my bedroom. "Erm, like a few times a year," I answered, trying to not get cut by glass. The last time I used the television in my bedroom was when Zayn left One Direction, and I watched This Is Us and cried. But that was four months ago, so I gave Lynx a green light to remove the television. So naturally, there's more space in my bedroom now. When we were in IKEA yesterday, my sister bought a dresser, and we also bought some new storage things for our hallway. I thought to myself that buying more storage is like an excuse to buy more things. So as long as I don't have more storage place, I won't buy loads of unnecessary things. That has at least become one of my mottos. I've gotten rid of loads of things the past few days, and I think I'm going to continue throwing out stuff. It feels really nice, creating a clean slate. I have not exercised in what feels like years, and I can't actually remember the last time I did. I'm not sure how I went from being so structured and keep up the exercise regime for over a year, then suddenly just stop. I guess the motivation just left. Most people let themselves go in the summer, less exercise and more unhealthy foods. I think I did good last summer, exercised regularly and tried to be somewhat concious of my eating habits. I've forgotten all about that this summer. Today I've done a bit of stretching (I figured it would be helpful considering it's been so long since the last time I exercised), dynamic yoga and cardio. I considered doing abs as well, but I was too tired. Work awaits me tomorrow, and it's one day closer to Paris and one day closer to vacation. Who knows, I might not have any job after the summer anyway, an endless summer vacation. I told Volla this, after I asked her if she wanted visitors. I realised it's been years since I've actually visited her. She said yes, and then also told me I could always find work where she lives, move into her apartment. As if Lynx also hasn't tried. "You can work at the hospital and live in our house, think of it-- you could be close to your nephews all the time". Goodness, I don't have a plan for my life, and it's terrifying, but I also try not to think about it. Sometimes you just have to let it be, and see where you end up, because you can't always control everything. Zayn tweeted about Drag Me Down, and my heart soared. It's all good in the camp these days, I told my sister whilst gushing about the happening. I am a total loser, but the grin has been plastered to my face without me really noticing it, so you don't see me complaining. I cut my hair a few days ago, just a bit. Long enough for me too feel it, but not long enough for me to see the difference. I'm going to recolour it when I go visit my sister in four weeks. Might let Lynx do whatever she wants again. Hi August, so far you've been kind. 

I've got fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark. You've never seen it look so easy

When I read that e-mail from One Direction yesterday, I initially thought it was a joke. But they provided me with a link to the new song, and I heard a preview of it, and I just didn't know what to think. The first thing I did really, was to run to Monchita. "Can you hear this?" I asked, whilst the preview was playing. "Yes?" she hesitantly answered, to my probably manic face. "That's One Direction," I said. She wasn't even surprised. It's safe to say it's not exactly the direction I thought they were going-- I thought they'd continue in the rocky- folky- tunes. It's still very much rocky, and the new album will probably be rocky. I've listened to the song quite a few times now, and I almost know all the lyrics. My favourite part always seem to be Niall's part, and it's not different this time. There's just something about his voice, and the flow of it, that makes the second verse (he sings the second verse and the bridge a few times) sound almost effortless. I do also love Harry's ad libs at the end of the song. So good. According to what I've read, the song has done good. And I'm pretty surprised and proud of the boys for finally beating the fans, and releasing their single before it got leaked. It was supposed to be released next week I think? But they decided to release it earlier, maybe they learned from how Fireproof went down. Not 24 hours later, they performed it live on their show in Indianapolis, and I'm super jealous of the people who got to listen to it live for the very first time. I'm especially proud because One Direction has been so bad at promoting their things the past few years. But this, this first single, I think they did completely right. And it was such an important single too, their first after Zayn's departure. It's like a sign saying: "hey, we're doing better than good". One Direction could have been dead months ago, if they hadn't carried on and powered through. Zayn up and left the band in the midst of the OTRA tour four months ago. They changed parts of their setlist, adjusted to the change, wrote and recorded a new album, and just released a new single. It's been four months, and if that doesn't say that they work bloody hard, then I don't know. I realise I'll always be bound to One Direction somehow, just like I still get excited about the Jonas Brothers. I just have to accept this fact. Anyway, I spent this morning in IKEA, where we bought various things, and then got home to set the things together. I am currently sat in the sofa, typing away, and eating Crunchy Nougat chocolate by Lindt. It's heavenly. My plan is to finish reading a book, reading fan fiction and do some planning for the Paris trip. It's much easier to take time to plan when you've got time off, rather than wait until I don't have time for it. I'm still overly excited to use my new luggage, coz I'm so strange. Happy Saturday! 

I'm so tired of being your love, 'cause you've gone cold

Sparsom med blogging i juli, ser jeg. Hei, forresten! Nettopp lakkert neglene mine for første gang på mange uker. Huset er blitt tømt, og det føles tomt ut. Etter siste besøket dro på formiddagen i dag, ryddet jeg stuen, og deretter mitt eget rom. Kastet mye unødvendig søppel, og jeg føler meg mye lettere. Det har skjedd en del endringer i huset de siste ukene. Byttet ut sofa, ommøblert stuen, nye gardiner i stue og på mitt eget soverom, ny benk på kjøkkenet. Søsknene mine kom som en storm og forandret alt de klarte i løpet av den tiden de var her. På mandag dro jeg til Sverige med hele familien og Grepper sine foreldre. Skulle vært hjemme til klokken fire slik at jeg kunne sove. Men slik ble det ikke, og hadde heller ikke tid til å ta meg en lur da jeg kom hjem fordi jeg måtte gjøre klart for den andre søsteren min og kjæresten hennes som kom senere på mandagskvelden. Foreldrene til Grepper sa jeg hadet til i Sverige, da de skulle hjemover etter den turen. I Sverige kjøpte jeg med meg to par Nike sko. Hadde i utgangspunktet lyst på Addidas sliders, men fant ingen i min egen størrelse, så da ble det Nike Benassi. De er allerede blitt brukt flittig, samme gjelder de nye joggeskoene. Nattevaktene var begge litt mer travle enn jeg hadde tenkt, men jeg jobbet med noen artige mennesker, så det gikk veldig bra. På onsdag, etter jeg hadde sovet i tre timer, dro vi til senteret og gikk rundt. Kjente på kroppen at jeg var passe gåen etter jobb sju dager i strekk. Kjøpte meg endelig Roses de Chloè. Har hatt lyst på den i sikkert over et år, men aldri kjøpt den. Delvis grunnet at jeg ikke bruker parfyme i hensyn til jobb. Men nå hadde jeg bestemt meg for å kjøpe den, endelig. Da vi satt i sofaen, og klokken slo 21:30, tenkte jeg at det var på tide å legge meg. Så i stedet på Teen Wolf, som fortsatt både forvirrer og skremmer meg. Hadde heldigvis ingen drømmer relatert til tv-serien, men kan ikke huske at jeg hadde noen drømmer i det hele tatt. Kanskje jeg var slått ut etter nattevakter. Gårsdagen var eneste dagen med sol denne uken (som jeg husker i hvertfall) utenom i dag. Solen dro oss alle ut i hagen, og vi løp rundt på trampolinen og hadde vannkrig. Monchita og jeg dro til butikken for å kjøpe grillmat, mens resterende var hjemme og slappet av. Lynx ringte da vi stod i matbutikken, "det regner, så Grepper kommer for å hente dere". Var nok for det beste da jeg gikk med Nike sliders og kameraet mitt uten noe beskyttelse. Etter noen få regnbyger, sluttet det å regne og solen tittet frem igjen. Grillings var fortsatt på planen, og vi dekket på bordet alle mann. Volla sa: "å grille på sommeren her er en av mine favoritt ting", og jeg nikket i enighet. Når vi samles på sommeren blir det alltid grill ute, og det er noe av det koseligste med disse sammenkomstene. En etter en løp inn for å unngå myggen. Kjæresten til Volla er ny til flokken, og jeg har møtt han en gang før dette. I går satt jeg ved han ved middagsbordet ute i hagen. Det kom en mygg på skulderen, og instinktet mitt sa "slå den!", hvilket jeg gjorde. Det riktige er kanskje å si "du har en mygg på skulderen!", men i stedet slo jeg han. Jeg beklaget meg, men forklarte hvorfor, og han lo. Sa Volla har en lik tendens. Og tror du ikke at jeg slo ham igjen, fem minutter senere? Joda. I går prøvde Volla på kjoler til en bryllup hun skal i, og hun sa til meg at hun hadde en kjole som jeg burde prøve. Den var visst i utgangspunktet Lynx sin, men grunnet at den var litt trang, gav hun den videre til Volla, og fordi den også var litt for trang til Volla, gav Volla den til meg. Det er min foreløpige forlover-kjole tror jeg. Inntil jeg finner noe annet. Det er lenge siden jeg har hatt sammenhengende fridager, og jeg kjenner at det gjør meg veldig godt. Har bare en jobbuke igjen før jeg drar til Paris med Oyster. Gleder meg veldig til å pakke kofferten. Nå skal jeg betale fakturaer og organisere timeplan. Morgendagen blir forhåpentligvis en dag i min gule bikini. Åh, fikk nettopp en mail fra One Direction. Det viser seg at de har en ny singel? Jeg er visst helt ute av the loop. Har ikke bare vært borte fra bloggverden, men også Tumblr og Twitter, så da er det kanskje ikke så merkelig. Sangen heter Drag Me Down og er noe helt annet. Jeg er i hvertfall helt målløs. Herregud, hva er det som skjer???????????????????????????

I broke my bones playing games with you. Tired by fun it makes me blue

1 Huset nærmer seg fult, og jeg merker det er litt pinlig å komme hjem til et hus med foreldrene til svogeren min. De drar når jeg kommer hjem, og jeg spøker "håper dere ikke drar fordi jeg kom hjem". 2 Jeg er ikke blind, men noen ganger lukker jeg øynene for å slippe å se. Det er visst en dårlig forsvarsmekanisme, en metode på å mestre utfordringer. Du unngår å tørke støv til du finner hybelkaniner i alle kroker. Og det er ikke før da du finner frem støvkluten. 3 I dag holder jeg en hånd med falske røde negler på. Lekre, et tegn på at kvinnen bryr seg om utseende. Det er jeg som holder hånda hennes, hun klemmer ikke. Jeg ser henne i øynene, mens hun ser livløst mot vinduet. Jeg sitter og ser på døden, tenkte jeg. 4 Drømmer meg bort til blått hav, nye dialekter og nye mennesker. Vi drikker te begge to, earl grey med en skvett melk i, og diskuterer de merkelige sidene ved livet. 5 Real talk: albumet til Years & Years er fantastisk. Elsker alle sangene, og de får meg til å danse på morgenen når kroppen føles slapp og trøtt. Tekstene er noe triste, men fine.