the strangers in this town, they raise you up just to cut you down

I've made another birthday card, for Lynx this time, as her birthday is just days after I get back from London. I used this flowery background, which I find utterly gorgeous. I've now got a piece of it in one of the frames I keep on my desk. It goes well with it's surroundings, as I realise a lot of the "artworks" I have displayed around my bedroom has purple hues in them. Volla seemed very happy with her card, which arrived today, a few days late. "Never too old to get birthday cards from you in the mail," she wrote me. I think I've finally managed to plan the time of the meet-up with the Brits. It's been a lot of going backwards and forwards. A person says they're good to go, only to say they're not available later. I don't fault anyone, but it does make it hard to make plans. Thomas informed me that it'll be bonfire night when we all meet. I've only heard about it through British vloggers, but I know there's fireworks. So that'll be exciting if we can catch some. I've started to get properly exited, and thinking of what to wear as outerwear. It's going to be significantly colder in most of Europe (it seems, according to the weather forecast's I've been reading) during the time we travel, so I am tempted to just go with my coat. However, a big city holiday usually means a lot of walking, which means warmth. I asked Gemma for her advice of the weather, and she said it was definitely coat-weather. But then I asked: "in Norwegian standards too?" as I know she's been to Norway plenty of times. She laughed, jokingly answered: "in that case it's like Ibiza for you". I've been trying to plan a bit, but to be honest the only thing I truly want to see is Notting Hill with it's pastel colour houses. I would actually love to try a Sunday roast, but I suspect I won't be able to do that. Kiwi hasn't been that demanding when it comes to wishes for what to do. I'm sure we'll figure it out, hopefully not have a bookclub in the hotel room. It does remind me that last time I went to London, I bought more than five books. Happy actual Halloween. It's darker-- I forgot yesterday, as I was jogging to Marble, that we've changed into wintertime, and I couldn't understand why it was so much darker than the day in prior. I don't actually think there's been anyone to the house, much to my mothers relief. 

you held your course to some distant war in the corners of your mind

I think I somehow thought it was Sunday yesterday, because I cleaned my room and everything. So when I woke up today, I was kind of like "it's Sunday again?". Yesterday I walked to Marble's house in my costume. I hadn't put make-up on, because, well. I didn't actually want to creep everyone out in the light of the day. I brought my cat-bag filled with a bottle of gin, a bar of chocolate, two bottles of Schweppes' russian water, and my actual handbag. We made two pizzas, in a kitchen too small for five people working at one time. We brought them upstairs with a few drinks, ate and just talked, I guess. Marble had made the room really Halloween-y with pumpkins, dark candles, etc. After I'd stuffed my face with pizza, we started getting ready. I only had my make-up left, which was the hardest part. Marble and I attempted helping Kiwi putting on contact lenses. As I said to Kiwi later, it was one of the most entertaining parts of the evening. After she finally got them on, Marble and I were stood on each of our sides of Kiwi, holding her hands and telling her to breathe. "It sounds like you're supposed to give birth," Marble laughed. We went to get the cake once we were finished dressing up, and it was only slightly mortifying to walk past Marble's parents and friends who were having a dinner party. We had cake, then started a highly effective drinking game. I've not actually been drinking since my belieber friend and Darren's wedding (apart from a few ciders and beers to my meals in Spain), so it was plenty more than I needed yesterday. I think I halved the amount of my gin bottle, though Kiwi did drink some of it too. We had planned to go to a certain pub, but, well, we wanted to dance. So we ended up walking quite a bit, before we stood in a long line to a club which I've not been to for a year. There's a reason for that, and I think that if I can avoid it in the future, I will. I gave a death stare to a few people, this time, not for fun as to scare people, but because I was genuinely pissed off. People who are drunk off their asses can be the most annoying people ever. Ugh. Marble and Kiwi were strangely tired, and I mocked them for becoming old. As it is, their 24th birthdays are around the corner, so. We ended up running to the night bus (we were going on separate buses, but Marble's bus was about to leave), and you should've seen us running. I don't know about the others, but I'd spent quite a bit of time walking around in my heeled boots, and my feet were aching. We were running as fast as we could in our states, and right then it felt fast. But as I told the others, I could just imagine a car driving past. And if you'd see the run in our perspective, it's fast. But in the perspective of the person driving past, it was probably like seeing old ladies walking briskly with their walkers. At least that was the image I got in my head. Marble made it. Then I waited for my bus with Kiwi. We were all half an hour after each other. Kiwi and I were taking selfies and whatnot. No shame. I finally got on the bus, which drove fast. It was a nice change, because I usually take the night bus with Marble, and it takes a long time. I ended up home earlier than I had expected, and I washed all of my make-up off. Monchita who didn't recognise me in my costume yesterday, left this afternoon. She'd been to a concert yesterday, and slept at a friend's house. But we had a last meal together, before she left to go back to school. I've gotten all the siblings' consent to go ahead with secret santa, so that'll be exciting. I've practically spent today trying to plan a get-together with most of the Brits from the Indochina-trip, and it's currently doing my head in trying to find a day when everyone is free. It's kind of giving me memories of planning the hen-do this year, but thankfully I've kind of roped Gemma into planning with me. Oh well, we shall see how it turns out. Meeting one person is better than none, I guess. Guys, I had a jog to Marble's house to get my things. A bloody jog, which I've not done for two years. I wasn't planning on it, but I had the right gear on, didn't have anything I was carrying, and it was really cold. So I just started jogging, and my god, it's really obvious I've not gone on a jog in years. I don't know, maybe I'll have to incorporate it again. Or maybe it was just a once in two years -thing. Before I go, can I just speak about a song called Angela by The Lumineers? I have their first album, but as usual, I haven't ever gotten around to listening to their newest album. I know Niall (Horan) has been very promoting of their newest album, but again, I've not gotten around to listening to it. It wasn't until I was listening to a random playlist, and I heard the live version of it. And this time, it's not necessarily the lyrics that has gotten to me. It's the actual song, the melody, how it builds up and everything. And that's kind of foreign to me, as I'm always such a sucker for good lyrics. I don't know, I just really like it. 

I'll take this chance, so call me blind. I've been waiting all my life, please don't scar this young heart

I think my uterus really worked itself yesterday, because I'm pretty much painfree today. I'm grateful for it today, but yesterday was not fun. So I'm gonna go ahead and say I prefer an even dose of dull pain over a few days rather than a big dose of pain for just one day. I've sent the birthday card, although the wind is so bad I almost lost my envelope. I reckon I'd look like a fool running after the envelope. I've just seen this video of James Corden and Niall Horan parodying Pony by Ginuwine (Halloween-edition). I feel slightly uncomfortable watching it, but I'm so glad to see the duo-- I genuinely do believe they're gold together because of their chemistry. (also, I love both James and Niall, so). I can only hope for more of them in the future. Monchita arrived home this morning, which was a surprise. I wasn't aware of when she'd be home, just that she was coming home today. It's been two months since she moved to attend school, but I still find myself looking for her in her room sometimes. It's strange, that. She's mostly got her time filled up with her friends, and I don't mind. I find that whenever family comes visiting, I don't need to spend all my time with them. It's just their presence that calms me. Speaking of family, Monchita and I were talking about the idea of secret santa. It just seems like all of my siblings are in a saving mode (Volla is re-doing her house and getting married next year, Lynx is having another baby, Lumba is saving to buy an apartment, Monchita is officially a poor student), so it seemed like the logical thing to do. And I also think we've grown up to a place in life where we no longer are dying of euphoria by the sight of Christmas presents. Regardless, I've always wanted to try it anyway. We were hatching the idea by the dining table, and we realised we couldn't draw names to traditional way (drawing papers from a cup or summat), and Monchita goes: "just search it up". I was completely blank, other than the term "secret santa". Funnily enough though, a generator popped up, and it was exactly what I was looking for. Anyway, Volla is on board with the idea. I'm just waiting for Lumba and Lynx to confirm whether they want to or not. Monchita has left for a Halloween party, I've cleaned and waxed my boots, which is something I should've done ages ago. I need to go over my Halloween-costume, just cause I haven't actually looked at it since I last spoke of it.  

Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do. All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

GBBO is over. I'm sad about it, but I'm very glad I haven't followed it for more than just one season. Otherwise I think I would be devastated. I was quite underwhelmed by the finale, which I think might have been because of the lack of my favourite baker. Also, in my eyes, it became pretty obvious who was the winner. My plans today consisted of posting my card to Volla, however, I was kind of reluctant to do it. Plus, I needed their new address. I sent a snap to Mog, asking for the address, but I didn't have patience to wait for an answer, as the arrival of my period today wanted to make itself horrible. The start of my period is sometimes really painful, and the pain doesn't go away unless I keep moving (I mean, I'm sure painkillers would help, but I hate taking pills because it takes me years to swallow a pill). So usually I just exercise. Today it only helped a tiny bit, so I got dressed for a walk. The first twenty minutes, I was contemplating turning around, because I was still aching. But I persevered, and ended up on a 8 km walk in lovely autumn weather. And the pain had slowly become more dull, and once I got out of the shower, it was almost non-existent. I don't necessarily think exercising is a way to take away pain, but like a distraction. It's like if you hurt your shin, but pinch your upper arm just to distract the pain from your shin. Nevertheless, it was a really nice walk. I hope that my uterus has done most of the work today, so the remaining days of my period isn't as excruciating. Ugh, I've also got a new zit on my chin, one of those that hurts whenever I move my face. Thanks a lot. At least I get to update my Clue-app (an app for the period, I'm sure I've spoken of it before). I didn't get an answer from Mog until I had showered, so I've decided to leave it be for tomorrow. I'll have to do that and polish my shoes (yes, I am eighty years). 

were you safe and warm in your coat of arms, with your fingers in a fist

He kindly offers insight to his troubles in his life when I admit that I'm feeling troubled. He doesn't push, he reads between the lines. It is a comfort to not feel so alone in this game of life. For the first time in forever, I can finally see a few blue spots on the sky. The sun is shining behind the clouds. It's a great relief to my mental well-being to see a bit of light, and it does make me wonder how I'd cope without. Apart from waking up with a throat as dry as the desert, this morning has been swell. My nephew turns five whole years, and he is my constant reminder of how quickly time flies by. I pulled out my painting gear yesterday, when I was attempting to make a birthday card. Instead of doing something planned, I just went with my gut I suppose. The result is a blue circle which I guess can look a bit ominous. It's not my typical birthday card, but it is what it is. I did say I was going to stop making these cards-- I'm just finishing up this year, I guess. I really wanted to make banana bread yesterday, but the bananas were eaten. It's not often the bananas in the house last until they get overripe, so I rarely get to make banana bread. Oh well, I guess I'll have to find something else to bake. In other news, I have found myself a bit tempted to make a multiple-tier cake. However, I'm not that fond of cake, so it would be more for the decoration and not for the wanting to eat it. Maybe it's better off if I don't bake, leave it to GBBO. As it is, I don't have much of baking prowess. Niall is appearing at Late Late Show with James Corden tonight, which I'm looking forward to because it's always nice to see Niall in company with someone he feels comfortable with. It always prompt the most natural interviews.