Thursday evening I felt really overwhelmed with nerves and whatnot, so I watched a bunch of sad videos and cried for an hour. It was hard stopping the tears, so they continued in the shower. By the time I was going to bed, I felt so exhausted. Even more so the next day, because the sleep had gone poorly. I pretty much looked like I had been crying for long hours of the night, which is a great look when you're supposed to hold a presentation. My group ended up being the last, a great way to build up the nerves really. Could barely eat with how anxious I felt. It's so ridiculous as well, because there was no way we were failing. Furthermore it was only an "approved" or "not approved" -presentation. But it's been years since I've done something similar, and even when I have done these regularly, I've still always felt hella nervous. My hands were shaking, my voice as well. At least that's what I heard, whereas Carmila reassured me later on that I hadn't been shaking in my voice. It's not first or even tenth time I've heard that, and so many have said "you're so calm!". In a way, it's a blessing, because it means I've mostly always come across as calm and collected. However, it can be a bit of a bother trying to explain that yes, I get fucking nervous. Anywho, it went very well. Despite being last, I kinda felt a bit reassured by listening to the others, reminded me that we all were in the same situation. As cliche as it sounds, a weight truly was lifted off my shoulders. On my way home, I picked up a parcel. And then I pretty much collapsed into bed after eating. As a consequence of feeling anxious and nervous, my body felt exhausted. Also, if I didn't have an app telling me that I'm supposed to start my period in a few days, I would've thought I'd stressed so much my back aches had been prompted. I was on the brink of taking a nap, but after an hour or two, I finally got out of bed and back into my outerwear. After having planned to send off the Christmas presents to Lynx and co this week, I finally did it. Afterwards I went on a bit of a shopping spree at the mall, before I got back in around 7 pm. Wrapped presents, and didn't eat dinner until it was too late. Saturday I didn't get out of bed until late, jumped in the shower and went to the city. It was prime time on Saturday during Christmas-time. Needless to say, there were people everywhere. I don't think I've ever seen so many people in those streets before. I'm sure it looked super cosy from above, but walking in the crowd with big bags was a nightmare. Popped into Zara, and it was genuinely so stuffed, I kinda felt like I was in a concert crowd. I mentioned last week that I'd bought a jacket for my brother, in which I wasn't too sure of. So I went ahead and bought another jacket. Just trying to maximise the possibility of him being pleased with whatever jacket he'll choose. I mean, it could be that he'll like them both, or even hate them both. We shall see. I am actually done with all of the presents apart from my dad's. That being said, a few of the presents have been ordered online, and I'm slightly worried they won't arrive on time. One of them are a bit time sensitive, but it'll just have to be. On my way to my belieber friend's house, I managed to jump on the wrong metroline. Ended up somewhere I've never been, which is great when you're hungry and need a wee. Both Darren and my belieber friend got to feel my freezing hands upon my arrival. I basically went for a wee, then we ordered some take-away whilst chatting. The couple has bought themselves a ridiculously expensive car, which we took for a ride. Although I can't ever say I'll want to invest that much money in a car (that being said, they could've gone a lot more expensive too, and it's not actually a completely irrational investment), it was deffo a fun ride. It reminded me of sitting on a fast roller coaster, and the butterflies you feel in your tummy. We watched the final of the Voice, and the winner sang Tom Odell, which was lovely. After collecting a slightly tipsy Darren, my belieber friend drove me to the bus station, and I took the bus home. It's become a favourite drive of late, as I do the trek pretty regularly now. Today has gone by so quickly. I did a load of washing, then I cleaned my bedroom. New sheets adorn my bed. I vacuumed the bedroom, hallway and bathroom. Afterwards I wrapped the presents I got yesterday, and then I sat down to start making new Christmas cards. Since the sun disappears so quickly these winter days, I pretty much ended up painting in the dark. It's a good thing they're not supposed to be especially pretty or perfect. Just realised I haven't written my weekly goals, so that'll be the last thing I have to do today. It's been a productive day.
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