I can't move the mountains for you

We don't get to have everything we want in life. This thought popped up in my head, sitting on the train back home. We simply can't have everything. But that's alright, if you just appreciate the good things you do have. And if there's something you're not happy with, then you should do something about it if it's possible. Instead of complaining about it. This isn't a scolding, it's more like a tip. Because I think it's important to acknowledge all the thing you have, the things that do make you happy. It makes you more grateful, I think. And by being more grateful, you'll become happier. If you have seven minutes, you should watch this video about happiness. I'm not sure if I've shared it here before, but it always makes me happier to watch. Anyway, I was at school today. Dropped "praksis", because we had to go to school in a very ill-fitting time. We were advised to not attend "praksis", by the way. We didn't like, just skip it because we wanted to. The school meeting was a bit overwhelming, because I'd not realised that the paper would be so huge and engrossing. Sally, Allie and I all agreed on that. We spent yesterday writing, and feeling like we'd been really productive. But I think today was a really big set-back, like we just realised how much we actually have to do. And I think sometimes it's underestimated how much "praksis" takes out of you. Obviously, we'll survive. And in the end, it's going to be alright. But it's draining, feeling like there's always something you're supposed to do. And I'm so bloody good at procrastinating, which means I always feel a bit disappointed in myself for not getting things done. And even if I do feel productive, there's always the lingering feeling of it not being enough. Like there's something else I'm supposed to do. It's usually okay after a bit of rationalising. Like I've just written myself-- when I stop and think about the thing I am able to manage, it's better. And usually after a good cry. I woke up at 6:00 am today, despite the fact that I didn't have to be at school before 10:30 am. Decided I'd like to have some hours for myself. Finished re-reading a fan fiction and did some stretching, before I started getting ready for school. I feel it now, feel the tiredness in my bones and how my head feels a bit achy. I've grown tired of my playlists, so I've just been listening to different albums and sometimes I just shuffle, because it's always exciting to hear the diversity in music. My phone shuffled onto Timshel by Mumford & Sons, and I just remembered how much I love that song. It's nice rediscovering old favourites. But I'm on search for something new, something I've not heard before. I ought to go now, be productive. Do the things I've written on my list (sigh).