darling, all I know are sad songs

So I read a fan fiction where the story starts with a couple breaking up. With more than 400 pages left I'd expected some kind of dramatic and romantic gesture. Or you know, the opposite - they never end up back together, life goes on and they meet new people. This fic, however, was neither. It was something in between. They end up getting together but there's no relief when you read it. There weren't any dramatic romantic gesture. It was the least dramatic happening, open ended with the knowledge that the road further will be hard. No promise of happily ever. I was disappointed, because I'd expected more emotions. Instead I felt sad and tired. It's weird, because that's the reality. More often than not it's no drama, life just goes on without all the theatrics. Where am I going with this? It just made me realise that more often than not I'm expecting drama and theatrics in my own life when life really isn't a Hollywood movie. It's one of those strange realisations, where I argue with myself. "Well, obviously it's not a Hollywood movie" "but you're always pursuing magic, situations that you see in movies, a movie scene" "oh" "yep". I had this realisation yesterday at 1.30 am, and it felt like the emotion; sadness was the big invisibility cape from Harry Potter just draping over me. Shouldn't you chase the magic? Or do you just settle with comfort? You tell me. I suppose the weather has something to do with my current mood, it's rainy and windy. Not to mention cold. Luckily it seems like it's going to be nicer next week. As for the places we've been travelling -- it looks like the weather is going downhill. So I'm secretly pleased, although I did actually look at plane tickets the other day. It's twelve days since Kiwi and I got home, and it's only four days since I stepped off the last plane. I just seem to have gotten too used to not staying in the same place for too long. It appears I'm fleeting, escaping, not down for any commitment. Who would have known. Or you know, my mood is probably caused by my upcoming period. That'll explain my really rude tendencies as of late. I opened a note from the "feel good jar" from Ale, and it said "big hug!". Coincidence or fate? I am seeing Oyster today. Haven't seen her in ages, so that'll be good to catch up. Tomorrow I might get drunk with my belieber friend.