think back to the start when we sang with bolder hearts, and the darkness wasn't even bothering

It's been a weird day. I had another night of lousy sleep, until 4.30 am. I fell in deep slumber then, awoke at 11 am in wonder that I'd actually slept properly. However, I still felt the tiredness. Ate my breakfast late, had some tea in hope that it'd make me feel better. It's a British thing; using tea as a cure for everything. It didn't work for me today. I've somehow managed to lose my earphones. I'm pretty sure they're in the house somewhere, but I've looked all the places I can think of. It put me even further into the funk I was already feeling. Usually I print out a schedule to hang above my desk. So I'll know the day and what I'm doing the next few weeks. I wrote to-do lists frequently. After I lost my phone, and my watch stopped working, I lost most sense of time. I had the weather to tell me when it was morning and when it was evening. Obviously I asked Kiwi of the time, but when I'd usually look at my own phone or watch-- I didn't have anything to tell me the time. And coming home, I've found that I still live like that sometimes. I don't bother to check my watch. And though I'd probably be ten times more productive with my schedule printed above my desk, it's not necessary for me at the moment. I've got exactly two weeks left of my "holiday" before I start working, and I don't really want to look above my desk and stress about that thing I'm doing in three days. I didn't realise how much my planning has been preventing me living in the now. We'll see how long I last. I do need it when I start working, just so I know when I'm supposed to work. But now, I don't. Since I've been in a weird head-space and funk today, I figured I'd do things that makes me happy. I've done things that has made me feel productive, along with other things. I cleaned my bedroom-- how that makes me happy? A clean room, duh. I washed and waxed my leather boots who had seen better days. I've also washed my make-up brushes, read fan fiction and had a really nice work out. I'm still really enjoying exercise. As a warm-up I tend to run in place for five minutes or more (today it was ten minutes), or I just dance to my favourite songs until I feel warm and ready to go. Both entails listening to great music, so it always puts me in a good mood. Post-work out I had an ice lolly, wandered around in the grass barefoot. I also sat down in the grass, enjoying my ice lolly and scrolling through my Instagram dashboard. It's full of pretty people, big booties and whatnot. But most of all there's a lot of work-out related pictures or videos (yoga, weight lifting, poledancing, etc). And it's the latter I'm interested in. I mentioned the other day that we shouldn't comparing ourselves, trying to become someone else. I do however think it's healthy to be inspired by people. It's just finding that balance. I really enjoy looking at the pictures and/or videos because I get inspired to work out as well. Not because I think "oh I want that body/ugh I need to work on my bikini body" or similar thoughts. I just-- for some reason, I get really happy to see others working out, doing things they enjoy. Admittedly, most of what turns up on my dashboard is pretty body positive, so that means I'm not infused with negative thoughts. The weather the next days seem like it's going to be pretty nice. I'm excited, and determined to make the most out of them.