I can't get over you. You left your mark on me

I've been quite emotional today, I think. For some reason I felt really morose once I got home, and I felt a lot like crying. I am guessing it's the lack of sleep from last night. I got a ride from Sally yesterday as well. It's funny because we were walking towards the parking lot: Sally, Manja and I. Then out of nowhere, my nurse supervisor appeared: "you haven't gotten any further than this?" she asked. I was allowed to leave "praksis" around 10:00 pm, when I usually leave at 10:30 pm. But I had already agreed to get a ride from Sally, so I decided to just wait for her. Hence my supervisor's question. She's actually Sally's old nurse supervisor, so I kind of expected for them to chat. But instead Sally and Manja were chatting, and I had a chat with my supervisor. It's almost a bit strange having a supervisor so close my own age, because it doesn't really feel like she's a supervisor. Anyway, it appeared that Sally had parked her car in another spot, than my supervisor and Manja. I didn't know this, as I was still chatting with my supervisor, as Sally shouted "we're going this way!" at me. As always, I enjoyed the company of Sally during the drive to my house. She kindly offered to drive me home each time we both have an evening shift. Once I got home and in bed, I fell asleep a bit too late for my liking. Ended up yawning my way through my "praksis" meeting today. And each time I yawned, I also teared up. So in the end it probably looked like I was crying. Aggy and I did not have our presentation today due to lack of time. It was a bit of a relief because I felt like I was going to fall asleep at the table. But it's also a bit annoying because it means I'll have to think about it for longer than I intended. When I got home from "praksis" today, I had some food before I rang Ale for a chat. It seems that I am going to see her in not so long, which is always good. If I'm productive, I'm going to finish some school work today, then go to bed because I'm knackered. Tomorrow I might just watch Teen Wolf. Or I might be doing school work. It depends on whether I get a doctors appointment tomorrow. The place I usually go have started a new thing where you have to send a text asking about an appointment. If there's a spot free, then you get it. If not, you'll have to try the next day. It's really annoying, but I could just switch to another doctor. I just can't be bothered. 

I can't get over you, you left your mark on me

Well hello lovely people! I think I'm currently a bit high on life, because I can't stop grinning. Maybe it's just that I'm listening to Supersoaker by Kings of Leon on BBC Radio breakfast show with Mr. Grimshaw. Or it might be because my windows are finally done. And because my sister gifted me One Direction pencils last weekend. Or it might be because I'm reading a really nice fan fiction. Or it might be the prospect of actually wearing nail varnish for the first time in ages. I'm going to paint my nails later- after I've taken a shower. Yesterday I was a bit productive, but I'm still waiting for the green light from my teacher, so any progress I'm making, is possibly something I'll have to delete. After that I went to the mall to meet Oyster and her younger sister. Just before though, I think I was caught up in some deep thoughts, because I had the sudden thought "pictures can't capture memories, but they can remind you of them". So obviously I did a little illustration. We ate at Burger King, which I only seem to do whenever I meet Oyster. And every time it's so delicious. Except this time, it was actually not so delicious-- rather disappointing. And I exclaimed that it's probably a good thing, as I can probably try stop eating burgers at Burger King now. On the way to Oyster I decided to roll down a hill of grass. It started out as a joke with Oyster's younger sister, in which we were sarcastically saying we we're going to roll down the hill. But then we went "but seriously, we should do it". Oyster's sister chickened out, which, truthfully wasn't that big of a surprise. Apologies Oyster, but you lot are known to be a bit wimpy. But yes, I rolled down that hill, and I didn't see a thing, because I was too busy trying to avoid grass in my mouth. And it was delightful despite the 20 seconds after of which I was so dizzy. Oh you know-- yolo, live while we're young, whatever makes you happy. Also, in the moments of rolling down the lovely grass hill, on which I hummed songs from "Sound of Music", I sort of realised what my friends meant when they said I was spontaneous. Ooooh, and once I got to Oyster I got to taste some sort of spinach dish. You see, I've been on a long search of some spinach dish I got to taste at my neighbors when I was about 7-9? I'm not quite sure, but all I know is that I used to walk to school with my neighbor, and I'd always get breakfast, which was some sort of spinach dish. And well, obviously I loved it, which is why I've been searching for it all these 11-13 years. And I'm pretty sure the dish I ate at Oyster's yesterday was indeed the spinach dish I've been searching for. So, yay! Finally. Now I'll only have to beg Oyster's parents to make me some. Or, you know, just try making it myself. Because Oyster is currently studying to become a dietitian(?), she'll come with tips and whatnot. And it's really great. I learned the most interesting fact about choosing bread yesterday. My mum told me today that my sister is actually celebrating Christmas over here. That's my oldest sister with my nephew. And I'm currently trying to figure out how we'll have space for everyone. Today I'm going to continue on my paper, despite it might have been for nothing. But for right now I'm going to finish that fan fiction. Before I go, you should give Pia Mia's cover of Hold On We're Going Home a listen. It's really nice. Have a nice Sunday! 

it's hard to do these things alone, just hold on we're going home

Guess who came walking through our front door? My broseph, who I'm pretty sure was here like three weeks ago? My sister who was here last weekend, actually asked about whether he had been here. It's a bit stupid time to come for a visit, as they are still doing our windows, but family is family. He'll just have to sleep in the basement. I've been somewhat productive today. I just have a bit of a problem with my current paper-- just need the green light from my teacher before I can continue. Which, I hope will be soon. On the way home from school tonight I watched Conor Maynard's new Youtube video, and oh how lovely. I love his covers. Especially if it's a cover of Drake. I've also spent the entire day listening to Joseph Somo's covers of Drake, The Weeknd, Mario, Frank Ocean, etc. So chill. It's like tea for my ears. That's the only metaphor I can compare it to. I think I'm spending tomorrow with Oyster, and then the next days I'll have to spend on finishing my paper. Or else I'll be really stressed. But for now, I'm going to fix my calendar on my phone, and my planner. Bon nuit xx.

you're a good girl and you know it

The MTV VMA's was on the telly last night, so my sister and I decided to watch it. And seriously, I don't understand why they didn't have a host? Except for the performances, the show was terribly boring. Also, I tried listening for when One Direction gets booed? But I couldn't hear anything. The most hilarious moment was when my dad came home and sat down to watch it with us, and then the camera pan over to Harry Styles whilst Drake is performing. And my dad went "who is that guy sitting there eating?", and obviously I get very excited when I get the chance to speak about One Direction. So I said "oh, you mean the guy that's bopping his head along to the music whilst he's eating an orange?". My dad went: "Yes?", and I answered calmly "oh, that's just Harry Styles, dad". After watching the show, I ran upstairs to watch the livestream from the New York premiere of This Is Us. When the lads arrived in their cars, the camera was filming them, but it wasn't zoomed in, so the "hosts" of the livestream were like "is that them?". Harry and Lou Teasdale (their hairdresser) were outside the car, and I was like chanting "yes, it's them! can't you see them?". Because obviously the "hosts" could hear me from where I was sat in my bedroom at 1:00 am. There were rather interesting interviews, and they were on the black carpet for ages before they actually went inside, so I reckon there will be tons of interviews coming out. From what I've seen in the interviews and whatnot, it almost feels like I've seen everything in the movie now. Like there will be no surprise left, and that saddens me a bit. But I've chosen to watch the interviews on my own accord, so what can you do? Bah it feels like ages until I can finally watch the film. On a happier note, The Fault In Our Stars is going to be a movie, and they just started filming it yesterday. I'm excited to see how the film turns out, as John Green is quite involved in the process of the film making. I'm just afraid I'll be disappointed, but that's quite inevitable-- because what I imagine in my head, will never be the exact same as someone will imagine. Anyway, I'm sort of really nervous today, because it's my first "proper" day in "praksis", and since I'm following my nursing supervisor's shift, I have the evening shift today. But that's not what I'm nervous about-- I'm nervous about meeting my nursing supervisor for the first time, I'm nervous about what to expect, because I've not got a clue of what I'm supposed to do. And J.D. wont be there either-- he had the morning shift. It would be fine if there were any other students there, but it's literally just me and J.D., but since we've got different nursing supervisors this time, we'll probably never see each other. Okay, slight exaggeration, but still. I know I'm being overly nervous, because in the end I'm not going to die. And I know that once I'm there, and I've met my supervisor, the nerves will probably fade away. It's just the not knowing what to expect that scares me. Hold On, We're Going Home by Drake is still my favorite jam at the moment (also Liam Payne's. *giggles*). It's just so chill and calming? Anyway, I've got to get going. I've not even had breakfast yet, and I've been awake since 10:00 am. See you tomorrow lovely people. 

it's hard to do these things alone, just hold on we're going home

So-- I sort of blacked out today. 

It all started like this: I woke up at 11:30 am after having being awake at 07:30 am reading a fan fiction because I couldn't sleep. And for your information, I went to bed at 03:45 am, so I wasn't that happy about being awake that early. Hence why I slept to 11:30 am after reading that fan fiction. I got out of bed and started packing for my sleep over at Kiwi's today. And then I went down to the basement to find a bigger bag to fit my stuff in. After a bit of searching, I realised I wouldn't find any. So I went back upstairs to my bedroom to continue the packing. And then I heard my mum shouting "windows! come downstairs!". And my name, of course. My parents were gone when I woke up, so I assumed they had gone to the grocery store, but it turns out they'd gone to collect our new windows. So my sister and I went downstairs to help my parents carry the windows. The windows were attached to some bits and bobs that my dad had to remove, and then my mum, dad and I carried them. My younger sister was inside checking up on her garlic breads. Then the unfortunate thing happened-- because my dad had removed the bits and bobs (when I say bits and bobs I actually mean screws and planks), the windows almost fell over. There were about four windows left on the trailer, and I scrambled to try holding them up on my side. My mum were at the other side, holding up the windows. It's not like they were light-- no, they were rather heavy. And of course I managed to get my hand stuck between two of the windows. And thing is that I didn't really realise until my dad tried to get my hand out, and it didn't feel that painful at all. But once I got my hand out, it was rather pale and pretty lifeless. I shook it around for a bit, trying to get some blood in it. But it was fine, and I continued my task of preventing the windows to fall over. My parents shouted at my younger sister to come help, because, well, we were a bit panicked. I started feeling a bit woozy, but I carried on, as I always do. But then it felt a bit like I couldn't stand up, and like I had to puke. My parents asked if I was okay, and I brushed it off as usual. And that's when it happened. I was stood by the side of the trailer, my hands on the windows, and I just had to shut my eyes, because I felt so dizzy, and like I'd fall over any minute. Seconds later I was gone-- can't remember what happened. Next thing I knew, my mum was holding me up, whilst my dad had run off to get me a chair to lie down in. My younger sister who was supporting the windows by herself greeted me "welcome back to the real world". My mum was like "we've got to drive her to the emergency room". At this point, I was really confused, and both my sight and hearing were fuzzy. My sister told me that I looked pale, and I thought "oh god, why?". I know my mum spends a lot time worrying over her children, and ever since I had that lump in my chest -- which mind you, is a quite a frequent incident among women -- my mum has deemed me to be the "sick child" among my siblings. According to my mum, I have little blood, and suffer from malnutrition. And when I had a little black out today, she treated me like I was dying. I tried going back to help carrying windows, but I was strictly told to go lie down and drink some water. So that's what I did, whilst watching Olly Murs on MTV Live (something). I'm going to take a shower now, and get ready. I don't even know when I'm going to Kiwi? We've not planned a time. Oh yes, now we've just decided when to take the train. I guess I'll speak with you tomorrow! 

I got my eyes on you. You're everything that I see. I want your heart, love and emotion endlessly

I literally just went "oh, it's Friday". Anyway, here's my new cup I bought when I was in Aalesund. It's by House Doctor-- and I just loved the simplicity and the phrase "you are my cup of tea". I had to explain my eldest sister what it meant. I bought it from this little charming boutique that sold a mix of clothes and home decor. It's so odd what I choose to become attached to. I'm currently listening to the BBC Radio 1 breakfast show with Grimmy, because he had an interview with One Direction. But also because I love Nick, and he's got a really good music taste-- hence him being a radio host. Which, yeah, defnitely go give Summertime Sadness (remix) by Lana Del Rey & Cedric Gervais a listen! It's sick. I'm also liking Hold On, We're Going Home by Drake because of Grimmy. Also, you know my love for Grimmy's voice. Christ, his laughter is just so good. Second best after Niall, who genuinely laughs "ha-ha"'s. I woke up at 10:30 am today, feeling rather well rested and joyous because of the lovely weather. I had a proper breakfast with my cup of Twinings Green Tea & Forest Fruits. It's my current favorite tea, as I don't like tea's that are too strong. After finishing my breakfast I went to return my work uniform and had a nice chat with my boss, before I went to take the bus home again. I just missed my bus because I explained some directions (giggle, annoyingly I've picked up on the habit of thinking of One Direction each time I hear the word "direction") to an old lady. But I went on another bus that basically brings me close to home anyway. When I got home, I went ahead and did some math in the sun. As I said, I love math once I understand it. It went a lot better today than yesterday. And the day before that. I guess it's because for once I was well rested, and I had read quite a bit. There's just one of the math questions I've not been able to answer. My brain almost had a short circuit because of it. I was so close to just crying. Sucks for me, because I have to continue do this math for a month minimum. Anyway, I just have to type the answers in on my computer, and then I'm finito. I was actually done quite a few hours ago, but I've been procrastinating as always. I didn't go to watch Kick Ass 2 because of it. Might go on Sunday? Have to speak with Oyster first. Anyway, we're going out tomorrow, and a bunch of us are sleeping over at Kiwi's. I'm quite exited to see how we're all going to fit. Also, it'll be good to relax? Have some fun? -- before I start "praksis". Not that I'm going to get all enclosed and not do anything fun, but I reckon I'll be a bit more knackered. Marble asked if I were to wear heels tomorrow. And you know how I'm with heels- I'd rather not wear them. When I attended the 85th birthdayparty of Grepper's grandmother, I asked my sister if I couldn't just wear my Converse along my dress. She gave me a NO. And I guess it was the right choice, but nevertheless- I'd rather wear my Converse. Oh my god In Da Club by 50 Cent just came on the Nixtape. This actually reminds me of my childhood-- this and Sean Paul. Speaking of songs, I was just going through random songs on Youtube yesterday, and I stumbled upon Almost Is Never Enough by Ariana Grande ft. Nathan Sykes. I'm pleasantly surprised by Nathan's voice. He's really really good! But wow, Ariana Grande really does sound like Mariah Carey. Listening to it made me have a little Mariah Carey listening-party. One Direction did the Today Show today, and once again Harry or Niall exclaimed that Niall was pregnant. Both times they've done it, is because they try to change the subject about Zayn and Perrie's engagement. I have so much love for One Direction's friendship and support of each other. And it's no surprise that Zayn is a very private person, despite being a member of the biggest boy band these days. It actually feels uncomfortable for me to watch interviews where the questions aimed to Zayn seems a bit intrusive. So I'm glad Niall and Harry changed the subject. I think I'm more fan of their friendship than their music? Ha-ha. Oh my god, when I was watching the telly over at Grepper and my eldest sister's house, there was this commercial. And I thought the singer of the song in the background sounded really familiar. So I asked Grepper and my sister to listen closely. "Isn't that the girl from Idol?". Grepper answered that he didn't really watch Idol. My sister shrugged, and said she wasn't sure-- despite watching Idol each bloody episode. I just watched the commercial again today, when I was eating-- and I searched up the commercial on Google (what would you do without Google?) and bloody hell. I'm so good. Honestly. I was of course completely right. Anyway, I'm going to grab something to munch on, as I've not had something to eat. And then I must finish my paper.