Here's an ode to my sister, who shares similar facial characteristics with me, but is both nothing and everything like me. In some parts we are very similar, and I find great comfort in conversations with her. Whereas my oldest sister sometimes feel a bit like a mother to me, this sister genuinely feels like the big sister everyone wants. She inspires me to be more like her, despite her flaws as well. Sometimes it feels like she can read me like a book, which I normally wouldn't like. But with her, it's fine. It's like every part of me knows she wants all of the good things for me. I sent her a letter yesterday, as it's her birthday today. Hope it arrived, and that she'll be able to read it when she gets home from work. Knowing her though, she and her husband probably wont fetch their mail today. Yesterday she sent me a text message just before I was going to defend my thesis. It was actually perfect timing, and I was surprised she had remembered. She's got so much on her plate at the moment, so it was very heartwarming to read her texts. It went fairly well yesterday, though my nerves were making their appearance. I'm very glad it's over though. Afterwards I had a chat with my supervisor, who was present during the defence, and it was so nice to thank her and give her a hug for everything. Despite how I've been feeling towards my thesis the last months, my relationship with my supervisor has been great. She was the perfect person to supervise me, as I feel like we're on the same wavelength, which isn't something to take for granted. I was only every truly frustrated with her for making me think so much, and reflect so much. But that's essentially what made her so great. I returned the rest of the books I've been borrowing for what feels like months, and then I made my way to my local mall. I picked up the winter boots I fell in love with, almost as a prize for myself. I tried them on once before I went to visit Lynx and co, and they're like a really solid pair of winter boots. Also, they remind me of a pair of boots I used to own when I was loads younger. I did think of buying a pair of boots that might be more versatile, but I just knew these were the ones I would want the most. I also picked up a bottle of wine, and as per usual I just wordlessly gave my i.d. to be checked. The guy looked at my birth year, smiled and gave my i.d. back, and I wonder if he thought it was humorous that I had to be id'ed even if I'm almost ten years older than the age limit for buying vino. Anyway, I finished all of my errands, went home and unpacked everything. My plan was to do the cleaning, as I haven't properly cleaned in two weeks. But I was just so exhausted, and my body still felt the nerves from earlier. So I spent most of yesterday to land back on my feet. I watched Call Me By Your Name, which initially I didn't actually want to watch. Inadvertently, Armie Hammer didn't make the plot sound very intriguing to me, as he describes it as nothing more than a love story. Love stories are sometimes great, but I guess I wanted something more than just love. Hammer describes it as such, because it's a love story between to men, without there being any great obstacles. There's not really any internalised og external homophobia, parental disappointment, societal conditions, and so on that hinders the building relationship between Elio and Oliver. And that's pretty game changing for how a relationship between characters of the same sex has been portrayed in movies. Despite my newfound fondness of Timothée Chalamet, I just wasn't much interested in the movie. I was far more excited by his upcoming movie called Little Women. But I watched the music video for Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens, which is basically almost like a commercial for CMBYN. It brought me such a nostalgic feeling, and that's what made me change my mind. I watched it in bed, with my duvet around me. To be honest I didn't expect for me to take much of a liking of the movie, and sometimes it almost felt like I was indifferent. But then there's a train scene, and a glance by Oliver that just opened all waterworks basically. Armie Hammer, who plays Oliver, also has another scene that made me slightly weepy. It made me feel like Oliver actually is more invested to their relationship, but that he's also old enough to realise Elio is still young and probably wants to experience so many things before settling down. I don't know, I haven't read the book or the sequel, and I don't know that I will. However, I will gladly watch the sequel whenever that happens. Also, Armie Hammer has a great butt. Today I spent a lot of time cleaning. On top of my normal cleaning routine, I started going through all of the papers I've collected from studying the last few years. It felt really good, as it felt very final. I've thrown away most of the papers, and it's like I can finally close the chapter. Emotionally, I was already done when I handed my thesis in, maybe even before that. But now I can actually live my life without having my thesis in the back of my mind. It's so lovely! I was going to watch Lady Bird today, but I've run out of time today. My plan now, is to get my workout gear on, and try to exercise for the first time in ages.
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