I wish I had a better plan, but so it seems that I don't what the world wants me to do

After being in a dark room for more than two hours, being immersed into a plot delivered on a screen-- it's not so unusual to feel a bit like Bambi once you stand up. But it's not only the physical part, it also psychological. "La La Land" left me feeling young, filled with hope for the first time in a long while. I've quoted a One Tree Hill scene multiple times on this blog, and I intend to reuse it. "When people get weepy at movies it’s because in that dark theatre the golden pool of magic is touched, just briefly [...]" -Mark Schwahn (One Tree Hill: 8x22 This is my house, This is my home). I'm not in love with the movie, it's not even in my favourites. However, I can admit to being sucked into the acting, feeling the emotions the actors were acting. It felt very real, something everyone can relate to. I felt a lightness in my steps, something alike walking on clouds. I basically managed to drag Ale and Marble with me to that great burger place (Ale said it was the second best burger she's ever had) and then to the cinema. It seems like Friday evening was a hit. Saturday morning we talked on the phone, planning our day. We ended up deciding on cross country skiing (funnily enough, the last time I went skiing is almost exactly a year ago with Marble), but also going out later in the evening. By the time we ended the call, it was 10.30 am. I spent two and a half hours running around finding gear for all of the occasions (skiing, loungewear, clothes for going out, clothes for the next day), packing, eating breakfast, getting ready and getting to Marble. The trek in itself was kinda exhausting with the big travel rucksack. I actually brought with me the one I did the backpacking with. That's how much stuff I brought with me to Marble's. I spent maybe an hour at the house with the girls, before we were ready to get on the bus and off to skiing. We ended up stopping at the first destination, where we stopped for some refill for energy (I had a sugary pastry, which almost sent me into what felt like a sugar-shock). In all, we ended up doing a 9km skiing trip. I was more than happy with that, seeing as it wasn't the last taxing activity we had planned for that day. We stopped by the grocery store, the girls bought a bunch of beer which they stuffed in the small rucksack I'd brought with me. A man walked by, commented something about a party at the mountain. I was very hungry by the time we got back to the house. We took turns in showering and cooking. We watched cross country skiing whilst eating, which is something I haven't done in a long time. I just think I don't have a certain person I'm cheering for, and for that reason, I can't be bothered to watch anymore. I'd rather do something else. I started getting ready for going out-- the music was playing on the loudspeaker. And the girls were both napping in their beds. I had a thought, looking at myself in the mirror whilst doing my makeup: "what if we don't end up going out, and then I'm doing my make-up". If I can avoid it, I avoid wearing make-up. Anywho, the girls got up, and whilst they were getting ready, I sat down in the sofa with a game of Mahjong. We ended up going out to the place Sugar celebrated her birthday last year. That time we spent all of our time in the basement. This time we mostly stayed upstairs, due to the music. It was the same kind of music upstairs as it was downstairs the last time we went. And what I always remember best about this certain place, is the great music. Funnily enough, it was the same DJ. We sang along to most of the songs, which is a sign it's great music, and we practically danced all night. It was all great fun. For the first time in years, I actually felt hungry before arriving at home, so we all stopped for a late night snack. I fell asleep around 5.30 am, woke up at 10.30 am. Once everyone was awake, we went downstairs to get breakfast. Watched cross country skiing, of course. Once breakfast was inhaled, Marble started on the dough for the pastries we were making. Admittedly the only thing I helped with was coating the buns with egg. We ate them whilst watching "Easy-A". I practically had cream from the buns everywhere. By the time the movie was done, it was getting late. Ale and I headed out the door. Ale was visiting someone, and I was going home. We said our farewells on the bus, until next time, which might actually be pretty soon seeing as I'm thinking of visiting the youngest sibling. I tried going to bed early, but it wasn't early enough, because I felt pretty dead on my feet this morning. And that was a not a good basis for a hectic day at work. You know it's bad when one of the most stressed co-worker is asking if you need help. All in all it's been a great weekend, even though it feels like it's flown away, and I'm knackered. It was good seeing Ale, and hanging out with both of the girls. I decided to add an old picture of us on a mountain, because when we get together, we do have a tendency to be active. 

when the lights go out and my feet don't even wanna touch the ground

Som en unnskyldning for den frosne temperaturen, tror jeg værgudene har bestemt seg for å gi oss solskinn. Blindende solskinn, om jeg kan si så. Jeg hadde i utgangspunktet gledet meg til kveldsvakt i går, fordi at jeg visste det var siste vakt før jeg fikk helg. Også følte jeg meg endelig uthvilt etter dager der jeg følte jeg var så utrolig sliten. Det er typisk da at det blir en slitsom vakt, hvor du knapt rekker å si hei til noen, og må løpe fra en til en annen. "Skal du jobbe i morgen?" spurte kollegaen, og jeg bare: "nei, takk lov for at jeg ikke skal det!". Om et par timer blir det "La La Land" på kino, hvilket jeg gleder meg til. Det er ikke slik at jeg har sett skikkelig frem til filmen, og jeg er usikker på om den faller i en kategori som jeg egentlig er så glad i. Men etter å ha sett Emma Stone og Ryan Gosling i "Crazy, Stupid, Love", er jeg definitivt interessert i å se de spille sammen igjen (hvor mange filmer har de spilt i sammen nå da?). Forhåpentligvis blir det tid til sushi før filmen. Helgen er satt av for å tilbringe tid med Ale som kommer i kveld. Blir absolutt spennende å se hva vi finner på. Jeg våknet tidligere enn forventet i dag, også ble jeg liggende i seng for å se på videoer av valper. Jeg dør litt inni meg når jeg ser en video av golden retriever valper, gahhh. Uansett, det var en video hvor en valp lekte med en plastikkopp, og lyden av det minte meg om et spill. Ja, jeg vet assosiasjonene mine kan være ganske spesielle. Lyden minte meg om Mahjong, som jeg deretter lastet ned på mobilen, og brukte to timer på å spille. Jeg dro meg endelig ut av huset i jakt etter pinnevin, og for å hente en mystisk pakke. Jeg fikk nemlig et nytt brev som gav meg beskjed om at det lå en pakke på posten. Og jeg kan ikke huske at jeg har bestilt noe som skulle ankommet disse dager. Dessverre var hele turen min bare en tragedie, for jeg gikk overhetet inn på polet, hvor jeg søkte etter vinen min som ikke befant seg der. Også dro jeg innom posten som sa at jeg hadde hentet pakken-- hadde bare blitt tilsendt flere sånne hentebrev. Jeg kjøpte i det minste dagligvarer, så jeg fikk unnagjort litt. Nå skal jeg straks ut i kulden igjen, men først litt te. 

to see the whole thing is an opening

Today was a tiring one. It's strange because I've just had the weekend off, but I felt quite tired at work yesterday. And then I had to stay behind for a bit longer, and then my body decided to sleep lousily this night. So I guess it's not so strange that I was tired today. I started an hour later at work this morning, due to the evening shift yesterday. One of my patients saw me, and he asked "are you late?" to my amusement. For the record, I am pretty much never late for work. Sugar had great news, and in my tiredness and hungry state, I almost started crying. Basically told myself: "you're alone in the common room, you absolutely cannot start crying with a piece of bread in your mouth". To be fair, it was emotional news, so. It felt a bit like spring today, walking out of the hospital to be met by the blinding sun and a temperature warmer than it's been. That being said, the weather forecasts are telling me it's gonna be freezing in a few days. I walked by the grocery store, before I finally stopped by the post office to pick up my package. When I finally arrived home, I picked up the mail in the mailbox-- had just turned around when I heard someone yell "heyyy!". It turned out to be the postman, who gave me even more mail. It was really tempting to take a nap, and forego exercise. And for a few hours, I did relax like I had all the time in the world. But then I pulled myself up, willed enough strength to get through some ab and arm work-outs. I'm really glad I went through with it, because I was so close to just foregoing it. I'm looking forward to the weekend. A lot because I've got time off, but also because I get to see Ale. I've not seen her since August, and it'll be nice to catch up. I'm going to get ready for bed pretty soon, because I'd like to catch up on some sleep. Please sleep bod, please. 

They're feeding you lines to keep you on their side. It works every time

The succulent is still alive, despite thinking I drowned it the other day. Woke up naturally this morning, seeing as my phone was dead to the world. It's kind of strange going to bed without looking through my phone. Instead, I just read a few bits from "This Modern Love". I'm trying to read at least one book a month, and thus far it's going well. That being said, it's only been two months of this year, meaning I've only needed to read two books. I'll reread my favourite books, but I kinda want this project to be about new books I haven't read before. We'll see. I did my typical Sunday-routine today; cleaned my bedroom, relaxed and then exercised. It's been nice having this weekend off, and especially just having it for myself. Sometimes I just need time for myself to recuperate. I realised this afternoon that I'd forgotten to eat chocolate yesterday. I'm sure there's crisps somewhere in the house, but as long as I don't start eating it, I can keep away. That's my biggest mistake-- it's harder for me to stop if I start. I've still got my ice cream, however, I've almost finished the chocolate part, which is the best part. There is a reason I never quit chocolate, you know. When I get tired of my own music, or if I'm in a certain mood, I'll listen to Tom Rosenthal artist radio on Spotify, and it's like the playlist was made for me. It's literally some of my favourite songs from the past. But I've also been introduced to Minimum by Charlie Cunningham, which is a song I can only describe as cool. It sort of reminds me of a person, but also a situation. Regardless, I've really been enjoying that and Wildfire by Seafret. Initially I thought I was listening to Lewis Watson, but it turned out to be Seafret. It's nice, discovering music. I might do a bit of cheeky shopping before going to bed. 

but you're managing, that's how you evened out

Jeg er snart halvveis i 20-årene, og jeg hadde håpet på å vite litt mer om hva jeg ønsker fra livet. Det er en ubehagelig tid, egentlig. Føles litt som om å gå en lang tur uten en bestemt ende, der jeg går rundt og sparker steiner på bakken. Jeg skulle ønske noen hadde skrevet litt om denne følelsen så jeg kunne lest og relatert til det. Kanskje noen har gjort det, men hittil har jeg ikke funnet noe jeg finner komfort i. Jeg prøver mitt beste å leve livet i nuet, men det er vanskelig å ikke være fremtids-bevisst også. Det går penger til sparing for bolig og pensjon hver måned, uten at jeg helt vet hvordan det blir, om jeg lever lenge nok til at pensjon blir relevant (om jeg lever lenge nok til å kjøpe meg bolig). "Jobber du noen andre steder da?" "Du kan jo bruke et år på å reise" "Du bør bare prøve på mange forskjellige jobber og få deg litt erfaring" "Du er fortsatt ung" "Nå må du få deg fast jobb og tenke på fremtiden". Dette er bare noen få kommentarer jeg har fått de siste årene, og det gjør meg ikke mindre forvirret. Jeg setter stor pris på at mennesker deler sine erfaringer, men jeg tror at livet er forskjellig for alle. Jeg kan ikke følge i spor etter en annen person på bakgrunn av deres erfaringer. Deres "rett og galt" vil sannsynligvis ikke være det samme for meg. Du kan liksom ikke laste ned en mal på statens hjemmeside og følge den-- mennesker er litt mer kompliserte enn som så. I går var en veldig koselig aften, og kilo-gjengen var gjenforent for et par timer. Jeg bestilte litt for mye mat, men det var likevel fint å kunne smake på litt forskjellige ting. Mog snappet meg i etterkant og spurte hvor jeg var å spiste, og siden han er en mat-entusiast, må jeg anta at det så spennende ut. Kiwi og Marble åpnet gaver i vente av dessert, og det føltes litt som julaften. Desserten kom ut med lys til bursdagsbarna, hvilket var veldig hyggelig. Jeg sippet vin, mens vi observerte at Kiwi og Marble smakte på desserten. Var kun de to som hadde bestilt. Vi ble sittende i tre timer, før vi måtte gi bordet videre-- vi gikk til en travel cafè, som fortsatt var åpen. Min belieber friend tok turen hjem, mens vi ble sittende å prate om alvorlige ting. Omsider tok vi toget hjem, og jeg var hjemme ved midnatt. Jeg leste ferdig boken jeg fikk fra Kiwi. "Milk and Honey" av Rupi Kaur-- det er poetri med mange fine illustrasjoner. Sistnevnte er type illustrasjoner jeg er glad i. Temaene for poetri var kanskje ikke helt min greie, temaer som jeg ikke helt klarer å relaterte til. Jeg likte derimot siste kapittelet "healing", som jeg synes inneholdt masse inspirerende. Jeg valgte å sove uten alarm, så jeg sov ganske lenge. Tankene har trillet rundt i hodet i dag, og selv om jeg i utgangspunktet skulle ut av huset for å gjøre ærender i dag, så gikk de planene i dass. I dag er en sånn dag hvor jeg ikke føler for å gjøre noe særlig. Det skal sies at jeg faktisk fant motivasjon til å gjøre en liten treningsøkt på slutten av dagen. Det hender at jeg vil trene, at jeg synes det er gøy. Og da gjør jeg såklart det! 

how should I walk this earth, so much worse the further, the further you go

Someone is pounding at the door, and I've just finished my work-out. My head supplies me with the information that it's Friday, and my mind jumps and makes the leap that the person is my brother. I drag on my long sweatshirt, which covers my bum. But I'm also wearing my "yoga shorts" which can have a tendency to look like longer hot pants. Without really looking out of the door, I just spot someone walking away, and I think "oh no, brother of mine, I will open the door now". Instead of my brother, it's two guys, and I'm kind of hiding behind the door in a outfit that seems questionable. Oh well. Here's a little recap from my little trip: the smallest nephew is poking at my zits, saying "auch". Indeed, although they seem to have dried a bit, become smaller. Ever since I heard Go Solo by Tom Rosenthal, it's been a travel song for me. I jogged down the mountain to the song, and it always hits me when he sings "I'm making my way home". It just always feel like the song and my life in that moment is meant to be. The smallest nephew has basically been sick the entire time of my visit. It always makes him really clingy to his parents, and this time around, I have been a scary person according to him. Oh well, it does mean I didn't have to do much of "awake" babysitting for him. I only walked up the mountain once, which was mostly because it was cold. It's usually warmer there, and I think in my mind it was supposed to already be spring there. When I reached the top, my nose and eyes were running. The dog was practically yelling "get me away from this bloody wind" with his body language. So I snapped a few pictures of the gorgeous views, before retreating. I was lucky with the weather, so it looked exceptional. I've played Lego's multiple times, and one of my characters kept screeching "watermeloooon!". The oldest nephew literally fell over in giggles. Grepper gave me real-talk about saving my money. Lynx and I spent a few hours running around at the mall finding various things for Volla's hen party. I also spent a fortune on snacks, which mostly went untouched (we all ate us full on food). Monchita kind of ruined a bit of the surprise, although I'm sure Volla had already started realising things on her plane ride. We practically did an ab work-out considering how much we laughed. I had a few glasses of wine and beer, so I nearly peed myself. It was really good, and just really nice. Despite being in the company of people who are a decade older than me, and are in completely different stages of life, I enjoyed myself. Lynx quickly chopped my hair-- so quick, I kind of forgot how my "longer" hair used to look like. Almost as if this shorter length is all I've ever had. Monchita, Volla and I sat on the bus in silence. Some of us were nodding off, tired after little sleep due to hen-party and early-rising nephews. 

I go solo, I'm making my way home

Doesn't the combination of this wrapping paper and ribbon just scream spring? It does to me, and it makes me so happy. If I was getting married, I would love to use the combination. Or, if I was having a baby probably. It's just so appeasing to my eyes. I got back home on Sunday, didn't feel completely like myself until Tuesday. I think I was just overtired-- as I surely mentioned; a trip to Lynx is rarely relaxing. The past weeks feels like they've been quite busy, and I can't wait for the weekend to start. I'm really looking forward to just sleep in and not having to worry about anything. I did a bit of shopping today, bought two bras. I could probably have done with just one (or none), but couldn't decide about the colours. It was kinda funny, because half-way in the store, I realised most of what I was wearing was from the store. I am definitely a fan of the store. After I sent an angry e-mail to complain about receiving wrong product the other week, I actually received an e-mail pretty quickly. Customer service was really good, and they sent me my missing product without me having to pay anything extra. I didn't even ask for them to do it. It's arrived today, but I've got to pick it up at the post office, which is not something I want to do today. Maybe tomorrow after work. I've been really wanting to watch Spy with Melissa McCarthy. I do genuinely believe it's my favourite movie I watched last year, simply because it was so unexpected. I had no expectations whatsoever. I might just watch it now. 

I could drown if I stay here

The first day of my period is me trying to sit as still as possible on a soft surface, waiting for the pain to intensify until that point where I need to move in order to soothe the pains. In some ways it was good that I had work yesterday, because you have to move around a lot, and you kind of have to ignore your own well-being, so you can take care of others. It keeps you distracted. Obviously, the pain doesn't go completely unnoticed. I'm glad my period showed up yesterday, as the first day is always the worst. I'm relieved I won't have to deal with this the day of my flight. It was deffo busier at work yesterday, which I had expected anyway. I'm just glad I've got a week off now. I got up kind of late compared to the past week really, but I did a thorough clean of my bedroom. (And put on a wash, etc). There's clean sheets on my bed for tonight, and for when I get back home. I'm off to my sister's tomorrow, and she told me to bring hiking clothes. We'll see, the youngest nephew seems to have gotten ill. It's like my nephews are sick 40% of the time really. I've packed most of my things. I'm only bringing my carry-on for six days. It's a challenge this time of year, because you want to bring warm things. And they're mostly always chunkier. That being said, 30% of my carry-on is gifts for the kids. I'm excited for a brief get-away, though most of the time I get home more exhausted (kids are exhausting). However, it'll be nice to be reunited with all of the sisters, and it'll be really nice to surprise Volla with her hen-party. It seems like Marble and Kiwi finally found a date for their birthday celebrations. Marble also informed me that Ale will be visiting in a few weeks, which is nice. I just went to the post office to pick up a package which included some exciting skin-care. However, one of the products I received was not what I ordered, and it's really annoying because I had to pay shipping, and I would have to do the same to return the product. So I'd basically have to pay for their mistakes. I'm kind of infuriated, so I wrote them an angry e-mail. At least I got the product I was most excited about. My only plans for the evening is a work-out and a shower. (And probably have a bowl of ice cream). 

Takes a while to regain what is lost inside. And I hope that in time you'll be out of my mind

Inside of McDonalds, each of us have our different flavoured McFlurry's. Jen and I are singing along to Out Of Reach by Gabrielle. All of the Bridget Jones movies have amazing soundtracks, and they never fail to make me sing along. Jen is practically serenading my belieber friend at this point, I'm eating ice cream and laughing, and it makes me feel a bit like we're a part of another episode of Bridget Jones. As it is, Bridget herself is so relatable, hence why she's so bloody loved. We've seen her fall face down in the mud both literally and figuratively, and most parts of life is just that. She mourns, does stupid things, but most importantly, she gets up on her feet every bloody time (whether that's her own initiative or her pals), regardless if she's just mortified herself on national television. I somewhat broadened my palate yesterday-- not by the McFlurry. We shared a table full of small platters with different exciting tastes, half of which we couldn't guess what was. It was really nice to try something new. We ended up at a bar with the most expensive beer I've ever seen. I only stayed for a bit, as I had a morning shift today. My belieber friend was shocked when I told her this, because she had assumed I was working an evening shift. 95% of my working weekends, I do exactly that. I can't remember the last time I worked a morning shift on Saturday, then the evening shift on Sunday. It was a really calm shift, which was a really nice reprieve. By the time I got home, my brother was vacating the sofa, and I could almost forget about him moving out. He was however, only here to pick up some more things in which I had nagged at him about clearing out. Although it's been a calm day, I feel strangely tired. My face is housing new zits, which is either hormonal or just because of the load of crap I've inhaled this week. Oh, and don't think that means I won't be eating more ice cream later on. I'm still waiting on my period, which will most likely turn up around the time I travel to my sister's. It really is just my luck. 

no love, you have come too late

Did you know I started out reading fan fictions of the Teen Wolf fandom before I actually watched the series? Well, I did. I re-read a post about me starting to watch the series, and I wrote: "I am also really nervous I'll enjoy it much more than I initially intend to". I watched the 6a finale the other day, and I'm unsure of what to think. It's undecided until I've watched 6b, I think. Anywho, the last episode was filled with love, I think. It was full circle, and I'd be pretty happy for that to be the ending. Which is why it's so confusing to think of what 6b will entail. At the beginning of 6a, I thought the season might be my second favourite season, and I think maybe yes. But also no. Yesterday, I walked in the freezing weather, to my brother's place. I forgot to bring my mittens, so my hands were freezing (I was holding a bag. Otherwise, I'd stick both of my hands in my pockets). So far my winter-boots provide a lot of warmth. However, they're a bit too big, but also a bit squishy at the same time. Also, it's either super slippery (which it really is) outside, or the boots aren't good enough for the slippery roads. Anyway, I got there in the end, into the warmth and into the toilet so I could blow my nose. I haven't been in the apartment since my first visit, which is also when we did a whole day of shopping for the apartment. My brother has declined any help to put things together so far, so this time around, I got to see all of the furniture. I took a few pictures for my sisters, and to my surprise, Lynx wasn't in the know. That's what happens when you expect someone to tell someone something, and then it doesn't happen. My brother was making food when I came around, so I sat down in the kitchen, and we had a chat. He served a plate for me, then we eventually went to sit down in the living room. It was nice, we spoke of life and things. There's something about being in the company of my older siblings-- I always feel young. And at this part of my life, it sometimes feels good. Lynx eventually facetimed me, and I gave a tour of the apartment. Showed her all of the closet solutions, which we both "oohhed" and "aaahed" at. For different reasons though-- she's more like "oh, look at all the clothes I could fit in there", and I'm more like "look at how organised I could have things". I eventually went home, seeing as it was late, and my brother was getting up early for work the next day. I went to bed, had a really strange and disgusting dream, which slightly freaks me out just thinking of it. It was harder to wake up this morning, despite sleeping the same amount of hours like the previous days. But I got up, had breakfast and prepared for my doctor's appointment. The bus was late, which stressed me out, seeing as I had an appointment at a certain time. Luckily I made it in time. It's a trek to my doctor, really. The logical thing would be to switch doctors, but I am a creature of habit when it comes to certain things, and I rarely see my doctor, so I just can't be bothered. Plus it's located in a place where I spent a lot of years growing up. It's somewhat nostalgic. I basically just had a chat with my doctor (turned out that he used to work where I work), and then I went to have my blood taken. The lady had to try twice, and the second time I involuntarily hissed at discomfort. The other week, when I had my vaccine, I also got pricked twice. This time was the most discomforted I've ever felt whilst having my blood taken, I think. It's been such a long time since I've given blood, I can't remember how the bigger needle feels. I still think today's blood test was the worst. I don't complain, though, and I always tell people that I'm not bothered if they want to try again. I went by the shops afterwards, and I bought the most unhealthy pastry, which they only sell in that certain store to my knowledge. I shared some of it with my mother, and she commented that she really liked it. "It's because it's really unhealthy," I said. It's a good thing that I did another HIIT work-out today. I'm trying to implement one HIIT segment in all of my exercise sessions, before I do whatever I'm focusing on that day. Today I did arms and back, which nearly killed me. It's possibly what I suck at the most. However, it feels good to become stronger. I made soup this evening, and it turned out pretty good. Then I had a really good apple. So now I'm a really happy camper. Again, it's those small things. 

I know your face cause I learned it as if I was blind

I was staring at my new plant, a bit (very) apprehensive before bed yesterday. My mum's green fingers have not passed onto me, and I once mistook a real plant for a fake one. Hence it's sudden brown leaves and death. I've googled my new plant, and it appears to be a succulent with a seemingly alright watering routine. Seemingly. Today I woke up pretty early, because I was planning to have my blood be taken. However, it seems like I've not got an appointment until tomorrow. It's Wednesday, and I've already had ice cream, pizza, and crisps. I'm pretty sure my period is around the corner. I usually have cravings, but never this much. Also, usually my willpower to avoid my cravings are better than this. At least I did a HIIT-work out yesterday, so I don't quite feel like I'm having a heart attack any moment now. My exercise-plans are a work in progress. I got new gear for Christmas, and then I bought some myself. I feel very happy with my motivation at the moment. Like, even at times when my body is half-dead, I'll do a bit of exercise because I had it planned. I just hope it'll last. It's a new month, the shortest month of the year, it's a new Chinese year (year of the rooster), and it's apparently black history month. A lot of things are happening across the world, a lot of devastating things, but also many awe-inspiring things. It's so nice to see people fighting for things, people using their voices, standing up for their beliefs. I always think of what this period of time will be called in history when it first appears in the books. Yesterday I spent a lot of time watching skin-care videos, because I find it pretty intriguing. Also, related to skin-care, a few days ago I closed my eyes while applying my skin-care, and all of the sudden I was right there "in the moment". I was thinking of the soothing feeling of my hands massaging the product into my skin. Also, a few days ago, I was just listening to soothing music in bed and stretching. And in both of those moments, I just felt really happy, intensely satisfied with life. It's all about the small things. Notice them. (That goes for good and bad things). I'm going to head out in my new winter-boots any minute now-- gonna head to my brother's place with my housewarming gift for him (it's a toaster).