lørdag 27. februar 2016

No one can love you the way I used to do. But love isn't fair, and I swear that this time this is the end

Is this not a gorgeous combination, meaning my new notebook that looks a bit like dalmatian spots and the pink envelope? To me it's one of the most pleasing things to look at. Today I finally finished reading Quiet by Susan Cain. It's taken me what feels like years. It's not that I didn't like the book (cause I certainly did), but I'm so used to reading fiction where there's usually a peak, and/or a turning point. A plot. Like, there's always some suspense. Reading Quiet by Susan Cain is essentially like reading a really interesting research article. I've learned a lot, and nodded along to a lot of the book. I'm really happy I read it because I genuinely think it's one of those books where you come out better of it. As in, this is information, knowledge I'll add to my brain and use in real life. Introversion and extroversion is a part of a person's personality and can explain so many things. Cain addresses kids and parenting in the last parts of the book. Just imagine being an extrovert and having an introverted child and not understanding them (and vice versa). I would like to add a few quotes from the book, because it really is great. However, I've borrowed the book in Norwegian, and I already feel I've talked so much about it on my blog, so I probably won't do an opinion on the book. I really want to read more books similar to this, books that'll expand my knowledge about humans, books that'll help me understand others (and myself) better. Onto another subject-- I don't always find the correct words to comfort my patients, so I use silence and a touch more often than not. But it's difficult doing that with someone you only write to. I guess maybe that's a subject I'll have to research more. Problem is, that comfort is subjective, it's cultural. That means the more you know a person, the better comfort you can give them. I really want to attend a concert next week, but I'm not supposed to spend money on the things I don't need. However, it's DNCE, as in Joe Jonas' band. I don't know if 14-year old me would forgive me if I don't see him in flesh. But going to the concert will only be to see him, not necessarily because I'm fond of his music. And that concept just seems a bit strange to me. I have a feeling I probably won't go. As it is, I can't do everything. I've not gone to a concert since One Direction back in June, was it? That's eight months ago, and I really do feel the lack of doing so. But I've decided to travel, so my savings are going to that. I am constantly reminding myself: "you can't do everything". I am still stuck on the dilemma of buying myself a new camera. Because I truly believe I'll be happier coming home with great pictures from the trip, than if I don't. My trusty old Panasonic DMC-FS62 suffered a drop, I think, because my memory card isn't longer removable from the camera. It's stuck, which means the amount of pictures I can take is limited. On any regular trip I make, that's no problem. But when I'm supposed to travel to all these new exciting places for two months, I'm pretty sure it'll be a problem. I do have a Canon EOS 550D in my possession at the moment, but there is no way I'm going to drag along that bulky camera. As it is, researching for a camera is shit. I want to go for Panasonic because I'm so used to it, but Panasonic isn't necessarily the best. In the end I'll just have to choose anyway. That is if I finally get around to buying one. On my agenda today was to finish Quiet, take my second dose of the oral vaccine I did the other week, and start packing. I tackled clothes today. A few weeks back I tried packing, just to see the amount of clothes I'd need. I packed way too much. And for the past week I've been thinking so much about packing less clothing, that I felt like I was only allowed to bring one outfit, and that was it. The good thing about my wardrobe, is that everything is so basic, and most colours go together. Which means I can just create loads of outfits from few pieces. That being said, it's still hard. I gave up quite early, which is not good. I cannot procrastinate, and wait till the last minute. That is not acceptable. Ale called me today. It's mostly never the opposite, that goes for all of my friends. That's not to say I don't care about my friends, I just would rather talk to them in real life. I don't know what it is about phone calls that makes me so uncomfortable. Well, maybe the lack of gauging the other's reactions and whatnot. Anyway, she listened to me rambling on about packing and whether I should buy a camera or not. Then she gave me tips for the trip. Lastly she mentioned that she'll be sailing the world with her boyfriend by the end of this year, and she invited me for parts of it. The details are still in the making, but you know how yesterday I went on about being lucky for all the opportunities I come across? Well, this is one of those as well. To be fair, I have no idea of how my life is going to be by the end of this year, if it's possible for me to tag along. I've no idea what I'm going to do when I get back from travelling in Asia. Work-wise, and life-wise, I am pretty much clueless. Sugar told me she was glad for me, happy that I finally am going to travel like I always wanted to when we were younger. And I told her that I'm a bit afraid that, after this trip, I'll become insatiable, that I'll always want to travel. To travel loads is rarely associated with having a steady pay, or steady anything really. Meaning I'm not safe, in some sorts. I don't know, I can't think too much about it now. If my life is at a place that'll allow me to go sailing with Ale, I'll go. I've pretty much decided already, I just need to make sure I can. This year, guys, I'm already looking forward to write my new years post. That is if I survive until then. You never know, which is why it's so important for me to embrace the opportunities that comes along. Tomorrow I'm going to see Oyster, and for now I'm going to do a bit of writing. I mean, does Saturday night not say writing to you? Today it does for me. 

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