About three years ago in Hoi An, Vietnam-- Kiwi and I were wandering around the markets. A few of our fellow travellers had already decided to get something tailored. I wasn't really keen on it, as I couldn't really think of anything to get anyway. Also, unless I really wanted it, I didn't want to buy things to lug around for another month and a half. But then I kept seeing Vietnamese women in their ao dai's, whether it was at the check-in desk at the hotel, students graduating in their yellow or in museums. I just thought they looked beautiful. And so as I originally was only tagging along with Kiwi for her to get something tailored, I ended up with getting an ao dai tailored for myself. All of the people who had gotten things tailored ended up doing a photo-shoot together in the hallways of our hotel in the evening, which was apparently noisy as people kept banging at the walls. It was hilarious, and nice altogether. The pictures look a bit like were all attending prom, which is funny. But it's the only time I've worn my ao dai. I just realised once I got home, that I didn't really feel like wearing it unless I had a Vietnamese occasion where it would feel appropriate and respectful. I'm not Vietnamese myself, but my family history is a bit complicated, and I would technically say that I'm a certain percentage Vietnamese. However I don't identify as the nationality, which then made me feel uncomfortable wearing it. But I have held on to it, as it's a special piece to me. I did a bit of a spontaneous declutter as I was inspired by some videos I watched whilst doing my morning ablutions. And I brought out my ao dai, tried it on and realised that it doesn't really fit anymore. Apparently three years does things to the bod. I mean, I did fit into it, but that was without a bra on, and it was still ill-fitting. It's obviously been tailored to my body from three years ago, and it's made with silk and doesn't really allow for much stretching. I don't know about you, but if an item of clothing makes me slightly uncomfortable, I am less likely to wear it. Which is why I try to avoid buying things I am slightly unsure of. I actually love the ao dai, but I will never wear it, and though it has sentimental value, I am finally ready to get rid of it. I also decided to say goodbye to my green wool coat. It's lovely, but I have only worn it a handful of times because the overwhelming scent of it. I don't know what the manufacturer thought they were doing, but it smells heavily perfumed, and the scent has stayed for two years. I just can't with the scent, and I've tried to get rid of it. But no luck, so I'm going to say goodbye to it. I am looking forward to proper spring weather, and when I can change my wardrobe, as I think I'll be doing a more substantial declutter. There's quite a few items I've held onto for years because of different reasons, and I think I'm ready to let go. I spent some time doing the laundry today as well, though it's become a chore I don't really enjoy at the moment. But I like to consider myself as an adult sometimes, and that includes doing things you don't always enjoy. I was kind of confronted with my suppressed feelings the other day, and I had a well-needed cry. There's been a lot of tragedy in the world as of late, and I am the kind of person who gets really affected by those kind of things. And if I let myself get immersed, it basically just takes over my life for that day or however many days. So sometimes I try to avoid dealing with emotions that I know will take time to deal with. Simply because I don't feel like I have the time, or the energy. But I guess I tipped a point and finally just had to have a cry. I have been lucky to not having to deal with personal grief thus far in my life, but I have been a witness to others grief many times. But it just never really gets easier, as everyone grieve differently. My tumblr-friend recently lost his mum, and even though I have had a lot of experience with the exact kind of death they experienced, I still found myself lost for words. The many tragedies I've been made aware of the past week has been a reminder of how precious life really is. I could blab on about living your life to the fullest, but I personally think that's mostly bullshit. What I care about is; making sure you're as content as possible in your life.
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