you see my red as blue, I don't belong in your universe

Hadde store planer for dagen, skulle være så sykt produktiv. Men så har regnet stått på stortsett hele dagen. Til tross for at jeg hadde klart å pep-talke meg til å gå ut, så var vinden såpass merkbar da jeg gikk for å kaste søpla, så jeg bestemte meg for å utsette turen ut. Det var heldigvis en tur ut jeg kunne utsette til i morgen i stedet. Da sier værvarselet meg at det skal være noe sol. Jeg tar gjerne sol, takk. I et forsøk på å være produktiv, har jeg støvsugd, vasket sminkekoster og lest pensumlitteratur. Synes jeg har gjort en ganske grei jobb, og nå bestilte jeg meg et par jeans hjem i posten. Drømmen er at de passer bra, og utvider jeans-seleksjonen som stortsett består av mine to par fra Weekday. Jeg eier jo selvfølgelig åtte par jeans, men så skal det sies at det ene paret er ca. sju år gammelt. Jada, jeans har jeg lenge, men nå må jeg antakeligvis gjøre en sommerrengjøring i kolleksjonen. Uansett, jeg har hørt veldig mye på Sigrid den siste måneden, kanskje, og jeg er blitt inspirert av bukse-"gamet" hennes. Også hadde jeg et ønske om å "treat my self", så da ble det jeans. Sannsynligheten for at de faktisk passer er ganske minimal, så jeg har ikke store forventninger. I går satt jeg og hørte på Kodaline covre andre sanger, og jeg hadde nesten glemt hvor flinke de er. Dette coveret av Latch er jeg veldig glad i, og jeg innså at det kanskje er denne versjonen som inspirerte en X-Factor audition som jeg ble veldig imponert over for et par år tilbake. Nå skal jeg se en episode av Elementary før jeg tar natten. Blir faktisk første episode jeg har sett i dag. 

I'm a kid like everyone else, so let me go. I don't wanna be your hero

To be honest this whole week has been a week I could've lived without. No doubt about it. It's just been crap upon crap, and I'm surprised I survived without having a cry once. Especially since my hormones have been everywhere. I told my belieber friend about my close-to-panic-attack-incident the other day, and I told her that after panicking about life, I realised I have such a great social network. I have so many people around me who would help me, who cares. Even my newly acquired T-friend sent me words and advice when I said I'd had a crap day. So, you know, I've had a shit week, but I've also had an eye opener. I'm so grateful for the people around me, and I always hope they realise. But I know it's not easy to read people's minds, so it's important to vocalise your thoughts. One of the things that added to the bunch of bad news this week, and might seem so minor, is that I won't get to see Sam Smith live this summer. My belieber friend already alerted me that it might be a possibility that he'd cancel, so when I got the news I wasn't shocked. I think I already knew, but I was still hoping. Always have hope. He was the main reason for why I wanted to attend the festival, I just wanted to listen to him sing Stay With Me. But I was reminded of Kodaline, and that time they had to cancel, and all I wanted had been to listen to them sing All I Want live. And I got to do that eventually, so my past experiences tells me that I might get to see Sam Smith some other time. And I also realised that although I'm devastated, I'm also still excited to attend the festival with my friends. Chances are that it'll be great anyway, and I think what I was most looking forward to was to make memories with my friends. You know, when stupid things happen, you have to think of what matters. Today might be a really fucking great day, so I might end up crying anyway. I actually think I need to. By the end of this day I might have a new nephew. My only complaint is that I won't be able to visit in what feels like ages, that's the only thing that annoys me beyond relief. But for now, nothing has happened, so I'm just hoping that things will be alright. I am probably going to be jittery throughout the day, probably won't do a thing. Great. 

I know there's California, Oklahoma and all of the places I ain't ever been to. But down in the valley with Whiskey rivers: these are the places you will find me hiding. These are the places I will always go

Whilst at "praksis" today, I briefly looked at my mail, which informed me that there's a deal on plane tickets to Dublin. Each time I see that there's cheap plane tickets, I imagine going. Sometimes it feels like it's my second home country, though I've got no biological belonging there whatsoever. Ugh, Kodaline, why did you have to remind me of the brilliance that is Ireland? Before the gig on Saturday, they played various music. Including Down In The Valley by The Head And The Heart. I thought I'd maybe heard it before, because it sounded really familiar. But then I realised I had not, and now I've just been jamming to it. I'm pretty sure I had a strange dream last night, because I woke up feeling a bit weird. It's already halfway through the week, which means the weekend is soon here. Lols. I have got to start revising! Honestly, the exam is probably not going to go well considering I've made no effort. I talked to Aggy today, and she said she's really tired of "praksis". Same with Faye. And the same with another student. I think we're all pretty much drained right now. I just want to go back to school and enjoy the freedom whilst it lasts. A last hurrah. I ought to go eat now, then hopefully read my notes for the exam. I didn't do it yesterday, as it was far more enticing to read a fan fiction of course. 

you’re in my head and my heart and it feels much better

Here's my new mug. It's the new album cover for Coming Up For Air. Admittedly I've not purchased the new album, though I did actually look for it in the store today. A while ago I think I wrote about my dismay about their first single, Honest. And I still love their first album (In A Perfect World) far more. That also includes choice of album cover. However, I've admitted to falling in love with Ready from the new album, so who knows how many songs I'll learn to love. Plus, I still think they're ridiculously talented. Hands down, I'd attend another concert in a heartbeat. Today was quite tiresome, and I'm guessing it's not getting any better when I feel like I'm constantly waiting for "praksis" to be over with. It was mostly tiresome due to lack of organisation. And when doctors come asking me for things, in my head I'm like: "I'm just a student, go away, don't ask me". In real like I try to find/do the things they ask me for. It's fine because they'll see it in my facial expression if they're asking for something outside my skills or knowledge. Today especially, I was in the midst of helping a new doctor, then I had to half-way do a report for the people doing the evening shift. In the midst of this, a person came to ask me about my "praksis" meeting this upcoming Thursday. In other words, my head was a mess, and I was unable to prioritise. I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow, and hopefully less messy. Thinking about the day whilst waiting for the bus made me a bit mellow, then the bus even drove by. However, it doesn't seem like it's a day where every little detail is tearing down my shield. Because when the bus drove by, I just thought of the Kodaline concert, and I was cured! I realised I got to listen to All I Want live, which has been on my wish list for a long time. I've stood two and a half meters from Steve Garrigan (the vocalist)-- I've listened to him sing live. That's actually one of my dreams come true right there. As insignificant that might sound to people, I've now crossed off one of my many dreams. And that's why, despite all the "bad" things happened today, I've yet to feel knocked down. The only thing that's slightly tearing at me right now, is the fact that I should be revising. I would love to do anything but. I am actually going to take the exam, but how well prepared I'll be is another question. I've finally decided on a theme for the bachelor, and I've sent it off. Which means I won't have to think about it until I have to. That means that I don't have anything else to focus on, rather than revising. But that reminds me of something I read on Tumblr yesterday, and thought was brilliant: "Instead of saying "I don't have time" try saying "it's not a priority," and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: "I'm not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it's not a priority." "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." If these phrases don't sit well, that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently". 

I met you on the corner of the street. I smiled before I even heard you speak

When I left home yesterday, I had managed to spill nail varnish on my bed sheets and the floor, which I then had to ask Monchita to clean up due to fresh varnish on my nails. I watched cross country skiing for the first time in forever, and I was really peeved that Didrik didn't win a medal. However, despite all the bad things that happened to me, it didn't manage to throw me off that positive vibe I was feeling. The bus was even on time for once, which is something I've burned myself on a lot. My attempt to scare Marble, however, was failed. She sensed my appearance before I could even attempt. We met up with Kiwi, who lead us astray through a block of cozy houses that resembled anything else that I associate with Oslo. Eventually we ended up at the hipster cafe/restaurant/bar she wanted to go to. I had this really nice spinach dish. I love dishes with spinach in it, and I'm yearning for some saag. Marble and I had a bottle of Estrella, and we got Kiwi to explain us the difference between vegetarians and vegans. Turns out it was a lot more complicated than we initially thought. We had time on our side, and got to the venue an hour before the doors opened. Why, you might ask. Well, in Kiwi and I's experience, we've always underestimated the popularity of acts, and we always end up standing behind all these tall people. Marble and I had bought a pint each, and Kiwi had managed to withdraw money from somewhere to buy herself a t-shirt and a mug for me. Course I bought a mug! Anyway, shortly after that, the fire alarm went! I think we all just looked at each other first, "seriously?". It appeared that it was indeed serious, and we were all shepherded outside. Our pints were plucked out of our hands: "no alcohol outside," he told our confused faces. Luckily he just put them inside for us to pick em up after the fire alarm. We were asked to move across the road, and to my shock I could actually see smoke, and then a fire truck. And more shockingly, Steve, the vocalist of Kodaline came outside to stand with the merchandise guy and had a quick fag. I snapped a picture because I'm quite shameless. Then when the fire alarm was off, and things were declared safe, we ran in again, only to be stopped by the guard. He asked if I had any drinks in my bag, and I said no. He fished up my Kodaline mug, and I said: "right, my mug, which I bought". He said "oh, well, good buy!". Picked up my pint and went to stand in line again. When we finally got in, we managed to get pretty good places. I was being strategic, so I went to stand where I knew Steve would be standing. By then it was 8 pm, and we waited for an hour before the supporter came to play his set. He was impressive, because he could sing in a very wide range. However, his songs were kind of very similar. I was almost sure he sang the same song twice, which Marble later confirmed that he did not do. We then waited another hour before Kodaline came to play at 10 pm. In the meanwhile these people testing instruments came to do their job, and one of them looked bloody gorgeous. One of the first things I did when I saw him, was to turn to Marble: "he's really good looking," I said, pointing at him. It didn't even occur to me that might have been Norwegian and could understand what I said. A little later on, Kiwi said the same thing to me. Marble was sandwiched between us. We commented on his arms. "He's got good veins". Marble looked at us slightly appalled. I was blatantly staring to be honest. He had a good face, good bum, good arms, good everything it seemed. I was slightly ashamed by myself, thinking "wow, am I objectifying this person?". But that didn't stop me, lols. When Kodaline finally appeared, the excitement thrummed my body, and seemingly a lot of other's too. They started out with Ready, which I only recently heard, but have fallen in love with, so I sang along to all the words I know. My blogpost title yesterday is from it, and I just thought it was such a nice lyric: "never let the pressure tell you that you’re not capable of being everything that you want". Kodaline was amazing. I had already heard that they're good live, but they really exceeded my expectations. They sounded like the studio version, and they barely had any breaks in between the songs. It was a distinct difference between the old album and the new one. More instrument filled, I thought, because I could feel the instruments played in my veins. That's the thing about concerts-- you'll never listen to a song like you do during a concert. It was nice singing all the lyrics to songs I've listened to so many times. I was contemplating whether to film the whole of All I Want or not, because I hate spending so much time filming things when I can just stand there and enjoy it. So I started filming, then I stopped, then I started filming again. And I'm really happy I did, because I knew I'd regret it if I didn't. I was standing so close to the stage anyway, so I didn't really have to keep watching my phone to see that it was filming Steve. So I managed to enjoy it anyway, and sang along to all the words. I really enjoyed the parts during the concert where the crowd sang along. It just proved how much people enjoy Kodaline's songs. I have to admit that I was slightly distracted by "nice bum and arms"-lad standing at the side. I could look right at him, where he was hiding behind the curtains. The only thing is that, I couldn't blatantly stare at him then, when everyone was staring at Kodaline. It was acceptable to stare at him when he and the rest of the crew were on stage doing their job-- because everyone else were staring. So I tried to be conspicuous about my staring, trying to not make him realise I was doing it. Obviously I wasn't, because he caught me a few times. Admittedly I'm not usually one to stare at people, which means I obviously don't have the ability to be conspicuous about it. Had I been more brave (drunk, perhaps), I wouldn't have shied away when he caught me. I think it must have been infatuation by first sight, because I couldn't stop staring at his face, is the thing. I thought to myself, that he must be Irish, because he looked so much like it. That's a thing I'd almost forgotten-- that Kodaline is Irish. Hearing them speak was so so nice. It hit me with nostalgia, and I was looking through videos of when I was in Ireland today. I just think I'm always going to be in love with Ireland. Anyway, I had a good day yesterday though I'd love to properly meet "nice bum and arms". Too bad I'll probably never see him again. 

never let the pressure tell you that you’re not capable of being everything that you want

Yesterday was quite a day! Meeting up with the kilo-gang was a long time coming, and I got to see my belieber friend's engagement ring in flesh. It's really gorgeous, more than my ickle camera could capture. She told us the story, and we started discussing wedding plans. I even wrote down a date in my calendar, though it's not set in stone. I still can't believe I've come this far in life, that friends around my age are getting engaged and married. We also got to meet Sugar's new beau? My belieber friend, Kiwi and I were all a bit anxious to be honest. I only got to know about this person last week when Sugar, Marble, Ale and I met up at a restaurant. And if you knew Sugar, you'd know that her bringing her love interest to meet us is actually a big (sort of) deal. At least it was to me. From what I gathered, he was actually quite nice, so that's a relief. Imagine meeting someone important to someone, then discovering they're awful? After sitting around at school for far longer than intended, we headed home. I went to my belieber friend's because I told her I would. We met up with Darren in the grocery store because apparently Friday is their grocery shopping day. At one point I somewhat lost them in the store, and when I saw Darren, I told him "it felt a lot like getting lost from your parents in the store". I bought a pack of tea, despite the fact that I've really stepped down the amount of tea I drink. It's not been a concious decision, just like with the chocolate biscuits. I don't think it's a permanent thing either, it's just that I like enjoying my cup of tea. And lately it's felt like I've not had time for it. I also bought a chocolate ice cream as it was Friday. My belieber friend and I had been discussing cheez doodles, and our obsession with it. Once you eat one, you can't stop until you've had the whole bag. So my belieber friend came with a 250g pack of cheez doodles, and I asked her if it was cheaper than two packs of 130g. The reason for why I asked her this, is because when Lynx was visiting, we got into a habit of buying cheez doodles. I was the one to pick them out, because my sister had asked me to choose a snack. And as I was studying the prices, I was shocked to see that it would be cheaper to buy two small ones, instead of a big pack. And yesterday we realised that it was indeed cheaper to buy two small ones, though only with a tiny amount. When we got back to my belieber friend's, we had pizza made by her. I'm so spoiled I get everything served at a plate. Out of seemingly nowhere, Darren said I'd probably be a good midwife (or earthmuthr?? as he jokingly?? called it). I asked if my belieber friend had told him that's what I want to become, and he said no. Admittedly he'd seen a spread about midwifes on a magazine lying right next to me. Despite that, it was weird, and I'm convinced my belieber friend once upon a time told him, and it's something that just popped out of his subconscious. But I have to say that I'm strangely synchronised with my friends nowadays. An example is how my belieber friend finished a sentence for me yesterday. Whilst discussing with Darren yesterday, I had a realisation that he reminds me a lot of my own brother. I just felt so familiar with the unnecessary bickering, and realised it's exactly what I do with my own brother. We ended up watching a bit of Yes To The Dress, though quite old episodes. I really want to go to the shop to buy a wedding magazine, only I can't be bothered to get dressed right now. I got home around 10:00 pm, went to bed around midnight and woke up at 8:00 am this morning. My bedroom was a mess when I got in yesterday, so I spent a little time trying to clean up a bit. I've finally put my old laptop away, though it's always in my reach. I am about to jump in the shower to get ready for today's shenanigans. Kiwi, Marble and I are going to see Kodaline live! We got the tickets mid-December, so in that sense, it's not been a long await. However, we have been waiting to see Kodaline since autumn/winter of 2013, so it has been a while. Life is looking up at the moment, and I'm going to bask in these joyous feelings. 

I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations

I'm currently having a laptop party with myself. On my old one, I'm currently watching a video of One Direction performing Girl Almighty. It's one of the songs I'm really looking forward to watch live because it's such an upbeat one, and the lads seem to really enjoy performing it. I'm crossing my fingers that they actually get down on their knees at least once this tour. It'll be a sight to behold. In less than two weeks I'm gonna see Kodaline with Kiwi and Marble, which I'm really looking forward to. I've been afraid to think too much about the concert, because I'm still afraid that it'll get cancelled like the last time. I will be seriously disappointed if they don't perform All I Want, because that's all I want. Today was a good and slow day at "praksis". It was just nice, to be honest. I think I needed a day like that. After "praksis" I met Sally in the wardrobe, and I might get a ride with her home tomorrow as we're both working an evening shift. I stopped by the mall on my way home because I had to buy Microsoft Office for my new laptop. I also wanted to look at a bikini top from H&M which I saw on their website yesterday. When I got there, however, I realised it's probably too early for them to start selling their bikini's in the shops. I also wanted to buy a pair of high waisted jeans that Marble tipped me about the other week when I was at the mall with her and Kiwi. Sadly they were out of my size in the colour I wanted. I was actually contemplating going to the city to try find a pair, but I couldn't be bothered. I might do it this weekend when I have a day off. I thought to myself that there was no way I'd go into town for a pair of jeans. But then I realised I also need new Muji gel pens, and then I was all on board. That's me, I care more about pens than jeans. I finished writing the paper yesterday, but it's not due for a week. I just wanted to finish it so I don't have to think anymore about it as I've got quite a bit on my plate at the moment. I was half tempted to watch The Maze Runner, and I still might because I've been missing Teen Wolf and seeing Dylan O'Brien's face. Also, Kaya Scodelario aka. Effy Stonem from Skins is in the movie as well. My sister said it was okay, so I don't know. But I've been missing having something to watch, and I refuse getting into another TV show for a while. But I've got to finish up writing notes for the exam because I have to start revising, seeing as it's a month left. I also need to find a theme for my bachelor, which I keep forgetting about. I also need a break from life, but that's not going to happen anytime soon it seems. Oh well, I just have to appreciate the small moments I get to myself. Like when I had some grapes and vanilla-quark for dessert after dinner. Jeez that's soooo bloody good. I actually thought "this is better than chocolate".   

you show me good loving, make it alright

It's dark outside when I wake up in the mornings. Far too dark for my liking. And my eyes always feel a bit like they want to be glued shut. And every day I wake up like that, my biggest wish is to just shut my eyes and fall asleep again. As it is, I'm (apparently) no longer a child who can ditch commitments (not that I've ever been like that). This week is hard because I've only got one day off, the rest of it I'm either at "praksis" or work. But I am looking forward to work, because it's at my previous "praksis", and I'm hoping that I'll see my old supervisors. I have my evaluation tomorrow, which always makes me nervous. Despite the fact that I'm sure it'll be fine, I still feel nervous. It's annoying, but I also don't think I'd want to change the feeling. I'm starting to feel excited for the Kodaline concert which is in just a bit over two weeks. But that also makes me nervous because it's close to the deadline for the theme of my bachelor. And that makes me think of the exam that I'm supposed to revise for as well. I'm just really looking forward until I'm done with this "praksis" and re-doing the exam. Then I can just focus on (mostly) one thing. I spent yesterday writing notes for the exam actually (yay, good on me), then watching Teen Wolf. I'm trying to get through S3 this week, and I'm probably going to watch a few episodes tonight. I discovered that I'm a definite yes-person to Derek Hale undressed. Maybe that's not surprising to you, but it was for me, because I usually have a thing for the underdogs. Which, I don't know why, but I do. And I don't really enjoy very prominent abs. I guess Derek Hale's are an exception. I have a feeling that once I'm done with S3, I'll carry onto S4. For now I've got to exercise, take a shower, prepare for my evaluation, then I might have time to watch Teen Wolf. I want to go to bed early tonight, but I also want to watch as many Teen Wolf episodes as possible. So there's a dilemma for me. What a though life, eh? 

All I need is to find somebody. I'll find somebody like you

I thought I might as well blog as I had turned my computer on. Yesterday, at 8 pm, you could find me in the sofa shouting bad words at the TV. I don't think there's anything that makes me shout just as much as watching a handball game, because the intensity is on the top almost throughout the whole game. I must applaud the goalkeeper, because she was ace during the second "round". The thing is that our usual (super) goalkeeper is pregnant, then the second keeper got hurt after the first match and had to go home. And now it's mostly all down to Solberg. It's very interesting, because our team is going through a generation shift, and there's loads of new players that I know little about. It's especially amusing to see family members with same surnames. "What am I supposed to call her??". I am most likely going to watch all the matches until the end of this championship, though maybe not on the day of my exam, because I'll be going out to share a celebration meal with the kilo-gang. I managed to see who the X Factor finalists are the other day, and I was gutted to see that my favourite is out. However the finalists are all great, so, it's a win anyway. I'm not sure if I'll watch the next episodes anytime soon. Cause the proper final is tomorrow, and the winner will be revealed on Sunday, in which One Direction are performing again! This time live, I imagine. And according to the rumours they are playing Where Do Broken Hearts Go. I can't wait, as it is one of my favourite songs, and it'll sort of give a feeling of how they'll perform it on tour. Speaking of tours; I follow Kodaline on Twitter, and recently I saw that they were releasing new UK and Ireland tour dates, and then they were going to release dates for Europe as well. And they tweeted a link, but when I clicked it, I came nowhere. Luckily I am subscribed to arrangers of concerts, yesterday night I checked my e-mail. And at the bottom of the mail was information about a new Kodaline concert. And that's the reason why I've turned on my computer today-- to buy tickets to the gig. I am going to the gig with Marble and Kiwi, the gang I was supposed to go with the last time (which was last year?? ah how the time flies by so quickly). I must go back to revising and reading LOTR fan fiction now, as time is moving far too quickly, and there's less than a week until my exam. Have a good day xx. 

We're making enemies, knocking on the devil's door. But how can you expect me not to eat when the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?

I found this ladybug in the house this morning, and what a surprise. It's weird that I even noticed the little thing on the floor. I went to retrieve a piece of paper and a glass, and went to put it down outside the door. Then I went back inside again, back to my life. An hour later or so, I went outside to take a few picture of the frosty weather, but my sight went back to the lady bug that was still in the position I had left it, and I instantly felt worried. It looked a lot like it was frozen to death, because it was just there. I figured maybe I could make a little shelter with a leave, but it's probably far from enough. It's made me search up "what do ladybugs do in the winter?", and apparently they seek shelter and hibernate. I have not been a very active blogger the past days, because I've slowly gone mad. It has become a daily routine to have conversations with myself, in my head. I daren't tell you what I talk about with myself, because you'll maybe believe me when I say I've gone mad. Anyway, the last few days have been strange. One day (don't even know what day it is anymore) I only ate twice: a bun for breakfast, then dinner. I went to bed around 2 am that day. Maybe it's the lack of movement that makes me less hungry, I mean it is logical. But I was still surprised when I realised how little I had eaten. Yesterday (this I do remember) I had brekkie around 9 am, then dinner around 6 pm. I find it very worrying that I've forgotten to take care of myself in the midst of this revising period. But I am not all surprised. My stomach have gone soft with the amount of chocolate biscuits I've eaten, and with the lack of exercise. When I last exercised, I honestly can't remember. I've watched more TV than I have in a long time, though X Factoor has not been a top priority. I guess it's lost it's shine. But I still get anxious when I watch the eliminations. I realised there's no way I won't see who the winner is (Twitter, Tumblr) before I get to watch the episode. What has been a priority, is The Lord of The Rings. There was a marathon during the weekend, and I watched it with my brother and sister. I don't know if you remember, but two weeks ago I was gushing about Narry (Niall and Harry), but I said that the only twosome better than Narry, is Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart. A few days ago One Direction was on Graham Norton show with no other than Sir Ian McKellen. Don't you think Sir Ian didn't have a little cuddle with Harry, and said this about Niall? I don't think I've ever seen Harry so flustered, to be honest. It's a very amusing interview, and my goodness, Sir Ian McKellen reading lyrics from Best Song Ever, wow. This song has a new meaning to me now. Yesterday evening I ditched reading for my exam (good life decisions) to read a sequel to one of my favourite fan fictions of mine, whilst watching Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood bake. My brother was moaning about why they've made such a program, and my mum was in awe of the mince pies. I suppose the brits really do love a good tea, and that's why programs like that hits home? Anyway, I really enjoyed listening to the chatter between Mary and Paul, though I will probably never bake anything of what they did. I mean holy crap, that takes a bloody long time. Admittedly the program was more of a background noise whilst I was reading the fiction on over 800 pages on my phone. I ended up finishing around 1:30 am, and I've already read few pieces over again. Today I've actually had breakfast and lunch. Hopefully I'll keep up a normal eating schedule for the next days. The snow melted days ago, and it's made me sad because I'm still hoping for a white Christmas. I was supposed to be at the post office a week ago or summat. Still haven't gone, and it's quite important as well. But in times where it's hard to face black holes, it's important to be proud of the times you do. It doesn't have to be anything big, just be proud of yourself. This is some vague shit, but that's all you get from me now. Also, another thing I'd like to say before I go back to revising: I heard the new Kodaline tune, called Honest. And I am shocked with how much they've changed their direction. I'm sad to say that thus far I am not on their bandwagon. It was actually really disappointing when I first heard it, because I was so happy about new music, and then it feels like they've completely changed from what I loved about Kodaline. Maybe the rest of the album will be good, but I'm not so sure. It seems like this is the way they're trying to go? Ah who knows, maybe I'll like it eventually. Right, dinner soon and back to revision. 

are we in the clear yet?

It's been snowing since I woke up this morning, and it looks like it's going to snow throughout the whole day. Today was the last day of my "praksis", which was a bit sad. I removed my schedule from the board in the break room, which felt quite nice. As it is, I did mention that I wasn't going to ask for a job, despite that Manja did weeks ago. But then yesterday, as I was ready to go home, the assistant to the boss at my "praksis" place asked if she could talk to me. I knew then, what she was going to ask me about. The past few weeks, I feel like the boss and her assistant has been looking at me, sort of, like waiting for me to approach them. But then the days were running out, I suppose. So yesterday the assistant offered me a job. And if someone's going to hand you an opportunity like that on a silver plate, you don't say no. "Yes, I'd like that," I answered, and she said "are you sure?" like she thought I didn't want to work there. And I guess that's what they must have thought when Manja asked weeks ago, and I've not asked. Well, it was sort of the truth as well. It's not where I'll end up once I've finished my bachelor. But it's a nice place to be some times. Looking back at myself in Summer, I had no plans about having two jobs this time of year. I did tell the assistant that I've got school, and I don't know how much time I'll dedicate to working. Oh well, this means I'll get to see my supervisors and all the other staff again, which makes me quite happy. Yesterday Manja brought a chocolate cake with her, which she nicely said was from the both of us. I got a text on Tuesday night, asking if I thought it was alright, and I answered yes of course. It was a bloody good cake too, and we ended up copying the recipe. I went home with two slices of cake, which I ate all by myself. I brought a pack of chocolate to work this morning, and there were about two pieces of chocolate left when I went home. I've got this driving thing at 7:00 pm today, which I'm not looking forward to. I'll just be glad to get it over with. I've also got an evening shift at work on Saturday, which I'm not looking forward to after my last shift on Monday. Also, in the past four weeks, I've either had work or "praksis" during the weekend. So I'm looking forward to a full weekend off. But I'm looking forward to tomorrow, because it's the 1975 gig (unless Matty gets ill. Ah, the other day I read that Kodaline had to cancel all of their US tour due to a broken arm or summat. And I felt really sad on the behalf of all the people who doesn't get to see Kodaline, which also includes myself. God, it's like I'll never forget about that). But yes, I am looking forward to watch the gig and have a pint. Anyway, have a nice Thursday evening. This is the start of the weekend for me, so I'm going to enjoy it. 

you enchant me even when you're not around

Yesterday was quite exhausting. I don't know why, because there weren't more to do than usual (at least I think). But I had a lot of tasks to do yesterday, and I was independent in most of the things I did. My nurse supervisor kept asking me if I wanted her to come along, because I think she knows that I'm able to do things by myself now, just might need moral support sometimes. But I said no to most of the things, and it was nice doing things by myself. I don't ever hesitate to ask for help though. You shouldn't ever do things you're unsure of. At 9:30 pm I felt a bit like dozing off to be honest. I was supposed to take care of a burn with a coworker. She asked me if I wanted to do it, or if she should do it. I told her to do it because I was so exhausted. This particular woman has a dialect quite alike my own, so I could feel my brain almost slip up quite a few times. And that's when I know I'm really tired. Luckily I got to go home a little early. I had almost forgotten about Steal My Girl yesterday when I got home, but I listened to it in the dark, in my bed. And my jaw was honestly agape throughout the first part. The preview is nothing like the rest of the song? I quite like it, alright (lols). But I can't believe they've chosen it for their first single? It's really confusing because the lyrics are quite young-ish and very poppy. But I think the song itself, the choice of instruments is not the typical poppy thing? I don't know how to explain it, I've never been very good with words. I don't think it'll do very well, but it's hard to predict how music will be received. Speaking of music, I've been listening to covers of Latch so much lately. I just really love that song, and I especially enjoy listening to Daniela Andrade's version, Kodaline's and this lad from X Factor. I do also enjoy listening to Sam singing it acoustic. Anyway, I woke up at 8:30 am today, and I probably could have slept even longer. I watched yesterday's episode of X Factor, which was quite emotional. And I will admit that I shed some tears. I'm just a bit sad the live shows are starting soon, because I've never been fond of those, whatever TV-program it is. I am a bit worried about how I'll be able to get home, have a shower, finish packing and be in the airport at time tomorrow. But I'm just going to think of Tim Gunn's words: "make it work". I really can't wait, been looking forward to it. Told my nurse supervisor about it yesterday, and it made me even more excited. Also, I'm planning to try watch Cloud Atlas sometime. Some time everyone's asleep so Grepper doesn't mock me. I am currently listening to "Happy Monday" on the Breakfast Show with Grimmy, and they're playing Teenage Dirtbag. Remember when that tune was haunting me? Ah, good memories, that. Now I'm also feeling nostalgic about One Direction's Take Me Home Tour. Goodness, I'll probably never forget about that concert. I just saw a few pictures and videos of them performing in Charlotte, and it seems like the venue and stage was a lot smaller. And it just looked so nice. I do hope they'll go back to regular stages sometime, as it feels a bit more personal, innit? Erm, I just want you to read this joke which might be a bit childish, but I thought it was hilarious. Read this first. Then this. Then you laugh. Oh alright, I'm going now. Must hoover my bedroom, print my paper because I think I'm supposed to present it tomorrow? I've no idea with this teacher of mine. Then I am going to read curriculum. Have a happy Monday! 

I got sinning on my mind, sipping on red wine

I am honestly so in love with Multiply by Ed Sheeran. I've been playing it all the time I'm at home, and on my way to work. So basically all the time. I really love it when I fall in love with an album during summer time, because it'll make me associate the album with the summer of 14. Last year was actually In A Perfect World by Kodaline for me. I've got the day off, which is very needed. It was actually quite stressful at work yesterday, and I ended up working a bit later than I was supposed to. Plus it felt a bit like I was almost alone with all the patients. I got to play a waitress for a bit, and my goodness, it's really hard to remember what everyone wants (orders). "Right, a glass of water and some coffee for you, some juice with two pieces of bread for you....". It was a bit stressful, but quite fun too. Anyway, I'm going to spend the next few hours outside in the sun with my current book (which I'll hopefully finish today), some water and tea. And with Ed Sheeran in the background as usual. The weather has been divine the past few days, and it's nearly impossible to fall asleep in this heat. It's usually 26 Celsius inside my bedroom at night, even with my window open all day. It's strange this weather, because we had amazing weather for a really long time, before it dropped and turned into autumn-weather, and then to a nice temperature but a lot of rain. And now it's really warm outside at all times. I was up at 8:00 am this morning, and it was perfectly comfortable to be outside in shorts. Anyway: yay, Argentina won over the Netherlands. I got my wish, and it'll be very interesting to see the final. I've only seen Germany play once, and that was against Brazil, where they were obviously superior. So yes, can't wait for Sunday to come, but I'm a bit worried about what I'm supposed to do without football on the evenings. Maybe sleep or read? I don't know. Oh, and this (the picture) is my current replacement for my own camera. I can't wait to see the pictures once they're developed. I just have to finish the film first. Alright, I'm going to go enjoy the day. Hopefully you'll have a great Friday too x. 

And if you were to ask me after all that we’ve been through- "still believe in magic?" Yes, I do. Oh, yes I do.

I think congratulations are in order. Happy birthday to Darren. Congratulations to all my friends with new jobs. And congratulations for whatever made you feel accomplished today. Today was a good day, though I almost fell asleep during a little lecture we had at "praksis". I fought so hard to keep my eyes open, which means my eyes looked really crazy because I was trying to keep them in activity, so they wouldn't shut. I did jokingly think of doing a Mr. Bean. Anyway, Sally and I bought flowers and chocolate for the people at my "praksis" because they've been so lovely with us. They were all very glad when I presented the flowers, and had a little speech. I think Sally planned it all along, that she'd just sit down and eat her lunch, while I'd get to hover awkwardly by the door. "Hear, hear!" I said, in which everyone started laughing. Me included, of course. There were even more noise when I presented chocolate, though. Ha, that is definitely something I have understanding for. My bus card only lasted until today, and I figured I'd take the opportunity to make myself walk to my "praksis". I feel like I've been so lazy these past weeks, so it'll be good. My goodness, I am loving the new Coldplay tune. Magic has been on replay. Ace, I am so glad I was tuning in to listen to Grimmy at his breakfast show (erm, the radio) Monday morning. I was also surprised to hear that Stay High by Hippie Sabotage was getting hype. I was really obsessed with the song back in December, and I'm glad it's getting recognition. I am always happy when my favourite tunes are getting recognition. When I went on Twitter today, I did a double take, because did I see Kodaline and Harry Styles in the same tweet? Oh yes. Apparently they were in the studio, writing a song? To be fair, I sort of shouted "what the hell", and then proceeded to bang my head on my bed because I was sat on the floor. I started wondering if I was jealous, and in that case: of which person am I jealous? I think I am most jealous of Harry. The thing is, I first discovered Kodaline when I was browsing through videos (about a year ago now, actually), looking for songs for Kiwi. A very happy accident. This was before they released their CD. And just a bit later, Niall and his Irish pals started tweeting about Kodaline. Well, actually, it occured to me that Niall firstly tweeted about them in January. Which-- why had I not looked them up before? Oh well. Anyway, then their CD was out in June, and I listened to it on repeat throughout summer. And then we found out that they were having a gig in Norway. And we bought tickets, and I was counting down the days. And then it was cancelled, and now I'm never going to get to see them perform the songs from In A Perfect World. And I had sort of started to forget about it, until Harry started going to their concerts. And then a person I follow on Tumblr, and then Nicole Scherzinger, and who doesn't go to a Kodaline concert these days? It's just that I really want Kodaline to bring their arses back here and do a gig. Blahrgh. I'm going to go now, off to bed and everything, seeing as I was so knackered today. Tomorrow will be my last day, which is a relief, but also bitter sweet. But that's how it always goes for me. Sleep well xx.