søndag 23. august 2015

you taught me the courage of stars before you left

Yesterday was G-R-E-A-T. I went to Marble's around 2 pm, in order to help out with the food. I made a salad, prepared the potatoes and sweetpotatoes, and made white wine sangria. The latter seemed to be a success, seeing as everyone finished their glasses and more. Once Kiwi and my belieber friend came to the house, we started the barbecue, I was sipping on a cider already. Marble was the chef, and I poured the sangria for the people. We ate, ate and ate. Well, I did. I had four sausages, my standard amount. We shared the company with a cat that Marble is well familiar with, and with a dead bird which was very disturbing to me. Marble served cake, and I had one big piece and had to take a break cause I was stuffed. Afterwards we decided to retreat to the inside, as it had begun to become a bit chilly. We played games, drank more alcohol, chatted, laughed. I had a lot of jelly shots in addition to the things I drank, but felt surprisingly good. My belieber friend and Kiwi might beg to differ, but I really did feel like I was fine. We went around 10:30 pm. Darren actually drove us a bit, seeing as he was there to pick up my belieber friend, his fiancée. Kiwi had doubts about whether she'd come out with us. She had an headache that had appeared during the evening. I tried to be objective, but also persuasive. Marble is a peer-pressurer. Honest. That is why it's dangerous to be drinking alcoholic beverages with her because she'll always talk you into drinking more. Eventually Kiwi was persuaded to come along with us. Marble is mostly always up for new things, so she brought us to a new place, unfamiliar to both Kiwi and I. We'd gotten there early for once, because we wanted to avoid an age restriction older than us. And we did right by coming early. At first it was a bit few people, more silent than I'm used to. But it did come streaming in people after people. We'd had enough of sitting still, and decided to go dancing. And boy, did we dance. The dance floor was actually outside, and it was decorated with lights and soap bubbles came raining above us. It wasn't very big either, which was a bit problematic. I was looped into a dance with a long-haired man in a plaid shirt. The thing about small dance floors, is that there's not much place to hide. And a good dance floor is always dynamic, changing, so sometimes you'll end up in a completely different place to where you started. But yes, small space means it's harder to hide from the creepers. Long-haired man was indeed a creeper, and I had to hide behind two guys on two different occasions after I'd extracted myself from him. We were also lucky enough to had grabbed the attention to a lone guy who constantly followed us around the dance floor. Admittedly we did have another guy joining us for the most of the night, but that was welcomed in my eyes. He was a good dancer, and was brave enough to show them off. Also, the big difference was that he didn't exude creepiness. He seemed like a happy go-person, and those I approve of. We met a lot of different people on the dance floor, like you do. But I felt even more interactive on this dance floor, than ever. Kiwi left us around 2 am, and Marble went to the loo. I thought, well, lets go to the dance floor then. I got swiped into the cocoon of two men, and I thought "this is not where I want to be". And as if she could see it, a woman dragged me out of the cocoon and invited me to a proper session of rave dance. I really truly whipped my head back and forth. We were at this for quite a long time, and I had a jolly good time before I parted my ways with her, because was suddenly dancing with the good dancer again. I'm not sure where I was when Marble found me on the dance floor, but I was certainly dancing. Oh, right, yes I remember now. I was admiring the beard of a man, and his friend swiped my upper lip that I guess had gathered sweat? I'm not sure of why he did it, but I did think "well that's a bit gross?". Nevertheless, we danced when Marble found me. A guy suddenly pointed at Marble, said "your bag is gone". We were confused, but realised that he was right. Her bag was indeed gone. But he also pointed to the guard, to tell us that the bartender had the bag. He'd found it and given it to the bartender, and we were ever so grateful. The bartender told us to drink some water, thinking it had happened because we were drunk. In fact it was just another typical Marble accident, as she's prone to losing her stuff. Nevertheless, we took a break from dancing and had a glass of water. I talked to a man standing by the water, random chitchat. He said he liked my outfit, which I preened at. I also complimented a guy for his jumper. In fact I think I complimented quite a few. We ended the night with a last jig. Well, in fact it was more of hip hop, which, I think I'm horrible at. However, I did bust my moves with this gal who yelled at me: "the guys can't dance for shit," and I laughed back at her in agreement. We actually gathered quite a crowd. I'm not sure if they were watching in fascination or horror. I shook hands with a few people, hugged some, and left with Marble. It is genuinely the strangest night out I've had when it comes to dance genres. I got home at 4.30 am, and got in bed around 5.15 am. Woke up around 10.20, so I had around five hours of sleep. But I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep for longer. Now, on Friday, when I was at the island a guy approached me. We chatted whilst I was packing up to leave, and he talked about an island I've not been to. When he heard I hadn't been there, he was shocked and said: "okay, then we'll go together tomorrow". I explained that I couldn't, I had the dinner with the girls. And he said "okay, Sunday. I'll wait for you on the pier until it's 2 pm". I warned him that I was going out, that I might'n't come along. He was fine with this. And with that I bid my farewells, walked barefoot on rocky roads just to avoid chatting with him. So you know, today was Sunday. And people in their right minds would not have shown up at the pier before 2 pm. But when have I ever been sane? I showed up, and he said "wow, I'm really surprised". I wasn't surprised by me showing up. When I've decided on something, I've decided. But I get that he was surprised, because another girl would probably not show up. Anyway, the amount of people waiting for the boat was ridiculous but understanding as it was wonderful weather. I warned the guy that I'd probably be poor company today, seeing as I'd gotten home at 4.30 am. He said he understood, chatted on. Once on the boat, he told me about the different islands, what to expect from all of them. He also told me about a newly "made" beach in the city. I felt a bit like listening to a tour guide, which I mentioned at the end of the day. Once I'd gotten my towel out and undressed, I waded into the water. Him too. Also, I realised I'd been on that island before, that's where I went years ago. Not my "regular" island. We'd set our goal to swim to a certain place, and we made it. Good on us. I went back to the beach to have a lie down. Having a nap, as he said. He then wandered off to speak with his friend. He came back an hour later, maybe, and I'd been half asleep. He said sorry, "it's not a great date when I've gone off for so long," he said. I laughed in surprise, and said "do you think of this as a date?". He looked slightly uncertain, which seemed strange for his personality. "Well, maybe not, but also kind of," he said. I am blunt when I need to be blunt, so I said "well, it certainly isn't for me, so you're off the hook about not staying with me at all times". If I'd been brutal and really honest, I'd say "and I quite like it when you're gone". I thought it was slightly funny when he excused his absence because his friend was chatty. "You know the type," he said, and I thought "well, I am looking at one right now". He went for a swim, and I got the company of a tiny chihuahua who'd run off. I knew who was the owner anyway, and she was currently in the water. So I sat with the dog for awhile, waiting for her to notice. Eventually she did, and I had to say goodbye to the lovely dog. I went for a quick swim after that, as I was very warm. I ended up leaving the guy around 6.30 pm. I was on my phone, and he said "whilst you're on your phone, you should add my number". I said following: "you know what I think? (serious pause) I think that today was a one-off. I think it's clear that we had two very different intentions with the day, and I think it's a better idea to just let it go". He was not beaten. Nope, he kept trying. I said "kudos to you for not giving up, but it's still a no. Maybe we'll see each other again, but that'll have to be coincidences". I am blunt when I need to be, and determined. Anyway, I left, only to wait in line for the boat for an hour. Yes, there was a bloody long line of maybe 30 metres, and two boats had come and left until I finally got on the boat home. On the boat I got into a talk with a man from Senegal. He's moved here to work, earn money so he can send it off home to his family. During the conversation, I was amazed to think of people who come so far just to earn a living so they can provide for their families. They go so far from home, to another culture. And he was alone, his family was back in Senegal. It's all so different from my own life. Apparently he had two jobs, and I told him "remember to take care of yourself". I reminded him of this several times, because I know his kind, the ones who work themselves so hard to reach a goal, they forget self care. Meeting him, though a brief meeting, was good for me. It opened my eyes to a lot of things actually. I met my mother on my way home. She'd gone for a hike and plucked blueberries. This past week has been rather strange, but also great. I've been swimming almost all week, met new people and done things outside my comfort zone. I asked myself today: "am I the person I want to be?" and I thought "right now, I'm really happy with who I am". And that doesn't happen every day. On another note, The Girl with Sienna Miller is perhaps one of the most disturbing movies I've seen. Toby Jones as Hitchcock was my nightmare. Amazing performances, I thought, but I know little of Hitchcock to be fair. I should be going to sleep now. Tomorrow I really need to give my bedroom a proper cleaning. It's been bothering me, but neglected due to my long visits to the island this week. Bonne nuit. 

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