we're just ash in a jar

It's been awhile since I've blogged from school. I don't even know when I last did it, I only remember doing it quite a lot in the autumn/winter of '12. Just went through a few of my blogposts, and I think this is very amusing: "I'll have you know that last week I dropped a burning match on my anatomy schoolbook, when I was trying to light a candle. It's not like I wanted to burn up my book, and it was an accident. But I can't help thinking that maybe my subconscious wanted it to burn and die". Compared to then, I feel a bit apathetic nowadays. I don't even feel stressed that my exam is in two weeks. The only thing I'm mostly worried about is being able to answer a question, which I doubt I won't be able to. I just don't know how well I'll be able to answer. The thought of not passing my exam has passed me, but I'm starting to think that I don't want to pass that exam. It's fifteen days left. I guess I'll have to see then. I got to school around 8:00 am this morning, and I'm still here, nearly 12 hours later. I'm not sure when I'm going home, but it sure brings back memories of nearly living at school two years ago-- only going home to sleep, eat and shower. I have been writing notes for my exam all day, though I did take a big break around lunch time, in which I read a fan fiction. I did also read a snippet of one earlier in the day, which nearly made me cry. My eyes have been foggy throughout the day, and it feels a bit like I'm half asleep. Also, I had an inkling that my period was on it's way, but I have an irregular one, which means I never really know when it'll hit me. Seems that today would be the day. Kiwi asked me: "are you irritable?". I answered no, sullenly, probably. And that's when I knew, that yes, my back is aching; welcome back period. Oh well. It's not been too bad throughout the day, and it's not like I'm dying (though I did complain to my belieber friend that I'm dying, but that was mostly other reasons). The kilo-gang was gifted a macaroon by Sugar today, which was nice and strange as it's not really my cup of tea. But it was one of those nice gestures which makes you happier. My dad said he would be buying a Christmas tree today, so I'm excited to see if he did it when I get home, which is where I want to be going soon. Just have to finish up some school things, because it is of course necessary to have group projects a week before the exam. Ah, life of a student. Love it.