read between the lines

Am I good enough for you now? Will I ever be? I dreamt about you tonight, for the first time in ages. I keep thinking that you're gone from my brain. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Maybe not, because in my dream we were both there, hugging each other, as if we had been starved from human touch.

Hi, I forgot that having lectures is a very tiring thing. Especially six hours of them, and it's even worse when the audience is small because the lecturer starts talking to you. After he looked at me to answer his question for the third time, I said: "no, don't look at me!" in protest. And he jokingly said: "why not, you've got such lovely eyes?". In the end I didn't have to answer any more questions, so that was good because I really hate being put on the spot like that. It makes me nervous and anxious, which are emotions I try to avoid. But I spent more time talking today than I initially had planned to. The people beside me started talking to me, and I didn't want to be rude, so I had a chat with them. I've days I'm more chattier than others, and I didn't really mind talking with people today. Mid-lecture, I realised my pen pal had written to me. It's actually really nice to have a pen pal these days. I don't know if you've noticed, but I spend a lot of time writing. I had pen pals when I was younger, and I've kept up the habit of writing to people across the world. I'm just a very curious person, and I am willing to listen to people go on about things they are interested in. The last person I was writing with, was an american girl, who I'm friends with on Facebook now. That does not mean that I don't think about stranger danger, by the way. Don't be stupid, kids, don't be encouraged to spill all your personal information to a complete stranger online. Surely you've watched Catfish? I hadn't realised the lectures would last so long, so at the end I was yawning every two minutes. I've been home for quite a few hours now, and I can't say it's any tempting to work on my thesis. But I probably have to, regardless of my wishes. Doing things despite not wanting to is a pretty good quality, you know. Holy shit. I just noticed that the neighbour has started cutting down the tree outside my window. It'll be both good and sad. Trees should be kept, I think. But they're building new properties, so the trees have to go. But I'll miss seeing them spire, then bloom.