rags to riches but I'm addicted to being broken

I did an extensive cleaning today, and sorted out a lot of stuff in my various boxes. I'm still in this mindset to throw things away, so I basically got rid of two boxes. I organised so I got all (mostly) my books in one box, and I counted 49, which is bloody crazy. I'm keeping them in the box because there's no space for them in my actual room unless I buy a bookshelf, and I've no plans to do that. I have a "memory box" that I've had for a decade or just less than a decade. And obviously, that means there's a lot of stuff in it. I halved the contents of it, and got rid of ridiculous things like receipts. As a tradition I have collected all the receipts of CD's I've bought, and the oldest I could find was from 2008. It was actually hard to throw those away. It's strange how attached you get to things. I looked through my old diaries, and I'm shocked by how typical of a teenager I used to be. It was all like "ah, he's so pretty, my mum is the worst, they don't understand how hard my life is, etc". You're so egocentric when you're young, and it's hard to look at the big picture. Anyway, I'm very satisfied to have thrown away all that crap, and to have organised. If I keep going, I'll probably end up with nothing. I finally finished reading Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan yesterday. At the library, I spotted this book, and I thought that I spend so much time reading fan fiction about gay people, why not read an actual book too? At first I was a bit sceptic, as it's a story about quite a few people. I tend to find that annoying, but that's a personal preference. Also, the narrators are dead people, which confused me. On the back of the book, it says: "The two boys kissing are Craig and Harry. They are hoping to set the world record for the longest kiss. They're not a couple, but they used to be. Peter and Neil are a couple. Their kisses are different. Avery and Ryan have only just met and are trying to figure out what happens next. Cooper is alone. He's not sure how he feels. As the marathon progresses, these boys, their friends and families evaluate the changing nature of feelings, behaviour and this crazy thing called love". It's a good book, and though it's mostly about being gay, coming to terms with it, and so forth, I also thought it was just about growing up in a way. There's some really great lines in the book, and at times I felt a bit like I was just reading quotes, because the lines sounded so profound, like: "[...] time can be buoyed by wordlessness, but it needs to be anchored in words". I think and hope the book will do good for people who are struggling, as I thought it was lovely that way. It feels like autumn now, chilly. My coats have been hanging in the closet for months, and I'm sure they'll be thrilled to be used again. Like shoes, I never get enough of coats. Right, I'm probably going to do some exercise now. Or, you know, postpone that until the last minute.