Don't be a fool to wait on me darlin'. I know that you don't wanna hear this, but I'm always on the move

Woke up a bit more rested this morning, though I did slumber a bit and wake up at times. Just got a few more hours of actual sleep, which was good. I had a very embarrassing dream about getting my heart broken by Nick Jonas on a private cruise I somehow climbed. He was obviously there with someone else, and committed to that person, although he tried to be kind in "letting me down". It was kind of hilarious. My Clue-app kindly reminded me that my cycle would start today, and for the first time it's been spot on. I kind of knew it yesterday, that my period would either show up over night or when I woke up. It's been more typical for me this time around. Although there's been a constant ache as my uterus tries to squeeze every ounce of blood out, I have also gotten relief. I did go to the mall once the ache was at it's worst. Movement always seems to help me, so that was good. Also, distractions from pain is good too. I picked up Christmas presents for my nephews, and then I went to pick up a package from the post office. The line was nearly out the door, and I had to snort when I saw it. I got one of my regular cashiers when I got to the front of the line, so I didn't have to give my I.D. It amuses me every time. I'm officially done with three presents. Only a lot to go, but still. I could have been done with quite a few more if I'd just have known what people wished for. Teen Wolf is still very enjoyable, and I got so loud once, my mum came asking what was going on. I'm really curious as to what'll happen this season, what will be the end result, because it got a bit (more) confusing with the newest episode. My plan was to put up the Christmas tree and decorate it tomorrow, but I won't be home during the day. It'll be dark within the time I get home, so it'll probably have to wait till Friday just because I want to decorate when it's bright. Maybe I'll just put the tree up tomorrow. Guess I could've done it today, but I had other plans today, and I didn't want to rearrange them. Don't Be a Fool by Shawn Mendes is a really good song. I really enjoy the message of the song, and the sound. It's really good, and it makes me want to sway. 

I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen

Pretty sure I jinxed myself, because I got about no sleep this night either. At 4.30 am I was just thinking "well, do I give up or what?". I think I had at least two hours of sleep, because I figure my body has some preservation skills, and did the bare minimum. It's annoying, because it does kind of kill my plans today as well. I was really tired yesterday, until I was going to sleep. It's fair to say that my circadian rhythm is fucked. If this keeps up, I'm sure I'll become a zombie, which will be interesting. After I brushed my teeth, I sat down, and I immediately thought "have I brushed my teeth?". It's deffo a sign I'm tired. Actually, I'm still unsure. Let me just check my toothbrush. Okay, yeah, I have brushed my teeth! When I slumber, I tend to remember dreams more vividly, because I'm like half-awake. It's a bit like day-dreaming really, because I'm sure I can influence my dreams when I slumber as well. This time Oyster was desperate for a hot dog of all things, and we walked through this big candy store-ish thing, which was closing when we walked through. The lights shut off, though the cashiers and others were still counting cash and closing up. One of them gave us a bitch glare, and told us to get out. It felt a bit like being a child and getting reprimanded by a grown-up, so we scurried out. I'm pretty sure Oyster and I was accompanied by our younger sisters (and maybe more people). I was sure I saw a burger store on my Stay app, so we walked in the direction I thought it would be, and we ended up walking through an indoors/outdoors parking lot. It just happened to have a kitchen there, with loads of cake. In the fridge, which was placed outside of the kitchen, in the parking lot in the location of where you'd find a ticket dispenser-- there were more cake, but also fruit and eggs. I told Oyster to just eat some of it, but she wasn't having it. So we walked on. I can't remember more of that dream, but I do wonder if we ever ended up at the burger shop. I watched Grand Designs for the first time in ages yesterday, and it's a new season, because I hadn't seen the episode. It reminded me of my love for velvet sofas. I have a bit of a confusing style. I like classic pieces, sometimes minimal, and also safe colours. But I also fall in love with pieces people would classify as ugly. Although I'm probably sleep deprived, I managed to get my clothes on and get to the post office. There's a few packages coming my way in the near future, which is always exciting. Even if I mustered up energy for the post office, there was no way I would be stepping a foot inside the mall. That'll be a task for tomorrow probably. I did actually exercise, which is a surprise. Can't remember last time I did it, so that's always a good thing. Another good thing, is that I might have found my winter boot. The quality of it is pretty lacking, but it's literally the only store that sells exactly that look. Oh, I have browsed for the kind of boot for ages now. Oh dear. It appears it's sold out everywhere. It just really isn't my time at the moment. Crap. 

loving you makes jesus cry

Whenever I go to a concert, I always film my favourite song(s) on my phone. Obviously, I'm always busy trying to enjoy it, so it's mostly just audio and really dizzying footage. Regardless, it's important to me, and I always go back to listen to the audio. I was just doing some kind of costumer survey for my regular concert-throwers, and I ended up googling Kodaline. And I just realised anew that I've lost all of that footage. I lost footage of All I Want, standing almost at front of the scene. It probably sounds ridiculous, but it kind of breaks my heart, and it almost made me cry. Oh fuck, just remembered One Direction as well. The things I've learned from it, is to save it somewhere for safekeeping. Currently sending all of my videos to myself. Videos in general, are important to me. I take a lot of pictures, snaps from day to day. Videos, however, are kind of rare. And although I preserve my pictures like (almost) nothing else, I think videos are of sacred kind. It's rare that something makes me feel as fuzzy, as when I watch an old video. I am still listening to Little Mix, and I've fallen in love with Nobody Like You. Pretty sure it's my favourite. I also really enjoy Touch, which must be their most mainstream-song to this date. When I first heard it, I actually thought it was someone else. If they don't make a single of it, I'll the shocked. It's a tune. I had a proper dance-party before bed yesterday, and Touch was definitely one of the songs I was shimmying it to. I would've thought sleep would come easy, but as it is, I'm not sure how much sleep I got. I can definitely feel the lack of sleep. Hopefully that means I'll be out like a light tonight. Since I skipped cleaning yesterday, I did a quick sweep today. I was going to go to the shops today, finish off my nephews gifts. However, I'm actually so tired, I can't see that happening. Lynx actually just called, and it seems like the new babe is most probably a girl. If it's true, it'll be really really great as the two previous are boys. Mum and I both cheered loudly when we heard, which prompted my youngest nephew to cheer as well. Obviously it would be great either sex, but I would love it for my sister to experience both sexes. Am already picturing buying clothes for the babe. 

fingers on my buttons and now you're playing, master of anticipation

Når jeg ikke har sovet på en stund, har jeg en tendens til å "se" merkelige dyr i hagen. Jeg har blant annet "sett" en ape i epletreet, og en flaggermus utenfor soveromsvinduet. I går hørte jeg på det nye albumet til Little Mix mens jeg spiste middag. Det ble nesten litt sånn sittedans, og jeg liker det meste. Føler at det har en sånn "empowering" følelse over det, og det er jeg absolutt med på. Det er likevel noen sanger som jeg tenkte nei til med en gang-- flere enn jeg trodde. I dag er det første advent, jeg har hørt julemusikk utenifra. Usikker på om det kommer fra kirka, eller om det er noe grantenning. Uansett, det var en veldig hyggelig overraskelse. Mamma kom med en haug gamle fotoalbum med bilder fra barndommen. Jeg er kanskje ikke så stor nå, men jeg var en stor baby, er faktisk den største av fem barn. Nå sitter jeg og ser på håndball, hvilket nesten "skriker" jul for meg. Det er første kampen jeg har sett med de nye rekruttene. Det har jo vært en gradvis utskiftning de siste årene, men i år føler jeg at det kun er nye. Det er absolutt nødvendig, men det er kjipt når en blir glad i spillere, også får inn spillere som ikke er helt der ennå. Mens forventninger tidligere har vært gullmedaljer, så er forventningene mine ganske lave nå. Det høres jo absolutt ikke særlig bra ut, men det blir jo veldig spennende å se hvordan jentene utvikler seg.  

say the word darling, you know just how to hold a sucker down

Alle de elleve pasientene jeg hadde ansvar for skulle ta blodprøver i dag morges, men med tanke på alle andre ting som skulle gjøres samtidig, så gikk det veldig bra. Det var liksom et punkt hvor alt gikk så "smooth", og jeg stresset så lite. Som regel er første natta den verste fordi du ikke kjenner til rutinene til pasienter. Men denne gangen gikk det veldig fint, hvilket får meg til å lure på hvordan neste blir. Jeg prøver en ny rutine med tanke på søvn, og jeg må innrømme at jeg liker rutinen veldig godt hittil. Som vanlig gleder jeg meg til å komme hjem til senga. Nå er det to uker til avreise nordover, og i den nærmeste tid håper jeg at jeg har tid til å gjøre litt research. Har vært der to ganger fra før av, men har aldri tenkt på at det er steder og aktiviteter jeg kunne vært interessert i. Det blir også gøy å få møte pusekattene til Mog og Volla. Jeg er vel mer hundeperson enn katteperson, og det skyldes mest fordi at katter skremmer meg litt. I den grad av at det noen ganger føles ut som om de kan stirre deg rett inn i sjelen, og har tanker som "ha, se på det dumme mennesket der. Klarer ikke engang å åpne posen. Huff, de har så patetiske 'klør'". Litt sånn, "jeg er bedre enn deg, menneske". Mens hunder i mitt hode er ganske dumme, så er katter liksom gjennomtenkte og utspekulerte. Har faktisk fått et par julegaveønsker nå, og det er veldig fint med tanke på at jeg liker å være ferdig så tidlig som mulig. Nå er jeg i teorien ferdig med to julegaver! Den tredje, fjerde og femte blir jeg nok ferdig med til uken. Det er så merkelig med secret santa, for det betyr at jeg slipper å tenke på tre ekstra gaver, så jeg kjenner jeg har en tendens til å gå litt overboard med de gavene jeg skal gi. Nei, ja, nå skal jeg lese litt før jeg faktisk må gå ut i "kulden". 

you with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged

I dag var en litt sånn treat yo self dag. Spiste Coco Pops til frokost, noe jeg ikke har gjort på årevis. Forrige dagen så lå jeg nemlig og dagdrømte om mat, hvilket jeg har en tendens til å gjøre når jeg er sulten-- og da tenkte jeg på frokostblanding. Har også gjort en hel del online shopping, ettersom morgendagen stortsett går til jobb og forberedelser til jobb. Det er tross alt forbrukerens drøm denne helgen, på bakgrunn av Amerikanske tradisjoner. Det frister uansett veldig lite å dra på et kjøpesenter som jeg vet garantert vil være stappfullt av mennesker. Grøsser nesten av tanken. Jeg forsøker å ikke bidra særlig til bruk-og-kaste samfunnet, så det er sjeldent jeg kjøper ting jeg vet jeg ikke skal bruke igjen og igjen. Denne gangen handlet shoppingen hovedsakelig om julegaver. Det er slutten av november, og jeg har faktisk ikke fullført en eneste julegave, hvilket føles veldig merkelig. Det blir nok endret når helgen er omme. For da skal jeg helst kjøpe alle gaver til nevøene, før min mor reiser til Lynx og co. Blir også min første mulighet til å bruke årets julepapir! Min mor er egentlig nettopp blitt frisk etter å ha hatt bronkitt, men broren min begynte å snufse og hoste rundt mandagen. I går våknet jeg med en sår hals, og innen jeg skulle legge meg, hadde jeg rennende nese og nøs en hel del. Nå har jeg heldigvis ikke særlig sår hals ettersom jeg har dyttet i meg halspastiller og flere liter te. Men nesa renner, og om jeg er heldig, så blir det vel en hoste på meg også. Forkjølelser er en av de mest irriterende tingene jeg vet om, men de må liksom skje uansett.

the darkness inside you can make you feel so small

Å dere, det har vært et tøft døgn. Helgens gode humør forsvant plutselig ved midnatt på tirsdag. Jeg hadde lest nyheter på toget, og siden jeg sjelden eksponerer meg for nyheter, så blir det ofte overveldende. Mer ofte enn ei er det vanskelig å se det gode med verdenen når nyheter hovedsakelig består av det negative. Og da er det ikke bare negativt, men for det meste hjerteskjærende. Eksistensen virker liksom unødvendig, og jeg har tenkt tanken flere ganger at kanskje kloden vår hadde vært bedre uten homo sapiens. Jeg vet ikke, noen dager tipper jeg mer mot den tanken. Andre dager, som i helgen, så er den tanken langt borte. Til tross for at jeg hadde et eventyr på vei hjem; gikk meg bort i forsøk på å gå en annen vei jeg ikke har prøvd før, og endte opp med å gå igjennom en eiendom og deretter opp en stor gressbakke (føltes litt ut som om jeg var i en film), så var den triste følelsen overdøvende. "Jeg har verre nattevakter, men i dag kjentes det veldig tungt," sa jeg når hun spurte meg om vakten. Det var ingen kritiske ting som skjedde, bare nesten-kritiske, men på morgenen i dag så var jeg i ferd med å gi opp. Kom hjem med en følelse jeg faktisk aldri har kjent på, også hørte jeg på True Colours av Tom Odell, og jeg kjente jeg var på gråten fordi budskapet passet meg perfekt. Eneste grunnen til at jeg ikke grein var at jeg var så sliten, hadde ikke tid. Jeg er lei meg for at konserten har fått en plass langt bak i hjernen grunnet alle disse emosjonene, men jeg syntes det var fint at jeg fant trøst i Tom Odell likevel. På mandag spiste jeg middag med Kiwi og min belieber friend i forkant av Tom Odell-konserten. Jeg ville dratt til den bestemte restauranten for desserten bare, den er så innmari god. Det var en hyggelig sammenkomst. Det er blitt betydelig vanskeligere å få til et møte med flere av jentene om gangen, så jeg setter stor pris på de gangene det går. Omsider forlot jeg og Kiwi min belieber friend som skulle prøve å gå hjem. Om hun endte opp med det vet jeg ikke. Jeg og Kiwi gikk ihvertfall til Sentrum Scene, og jeg hadde sett for meg en laaaaang kø. Forklarte Kiwi om tilstandene da jeg sto i kø til Troye Sivan. Heldigvis så var køen nesten ikke-eksisterende i forhold til de konsertene jeg har vært på tidligere. Kiwi ønsket i utgangspunktet å stå helt foran. Jeg ønsket å stå slik at jeg fikk sett ordentlig. Vi endte vel opp med hva jeg ønsket, fordi det allerede hadde fylt seg opp foran scenen. Men i mine øyne så var plassen vår perfekt for jeg slapp å stå bak et par hoder og måtte flytte meg for å se artisten. I stedet hadde vi fri sikt. Jeg har vært på tre konserter i år tror jeg, og jeg vil faktisk si at denne konserten har vært favoritten min. Jeg ble overrasket over hvor mange sanger jeg faktisk har fått en tilknytning til, og jeg sang med til de fleste sangene. Lysshowet, altså lasere og valg av lys, var veldig bra. Likte hvordan alle var plassert, hvordan det virket som om alle fikk vist seg frem. Men det som gjorde det så bra, så spesielt, var artisten selv. Jeg hadde ingen formeninger om Tom Odell som person, ingen forventninger. Etter konserten sitter jeg igjen med et inntrykk av at han er en litt merkelig fyr. En som ikke tar seg selv for seriøst, som tør å være seg selv. Jeg sitter også igjen med et inntrykk om at han elsker hva han gjør. Og det er viktig-- jeg blir alltids smittet av en artist's humør. Jeg satte veldig pris på at han hadde "samtaler" med oss, fikk oss til å le. For en talentfull person altså. Uten å virke for subjektiv, virket det ut som om han likte publikum. Jeg skulle gjerne ønske at publikum var litt mer seriøse, spesielt når det ble stille under en sang og noen begynte å skrike eller le. Det ødela for meg. Men uansett, han virket fornøyd, og på slutten av konserten virket han faktisk veldig motvillig til å være ferdig. La seg ned på scenen, gikk sakte ut men med tilbakeblikk. Konserten er faktisk den lengste konserten jeg har vært på. Han spilte ikke True Colours, hvilket var skuffende. Det hadde jo vært helt perfekt, og jeg hadde antakeligvis begynt å grine-- må innrømme at det var et par momenter hvor jeg trodde jeg skulle gråte. Han har visst spilt sangen i Tyskland, men han spilte en av hans andre sanger live for første gang, så jeg antar at de byttet de sangene. Konklusjonen min er at jeg hadde det ganske fantastisk på konserten, og jeg skulle gjerne gjenopplevd kvelden. Jeg har sett på videoer av at Ellen Degeneres mottar pris fra Barack Obama, og i tillegg med True Colours som bakgrunnsmusikk (seriøst, bare hør på coveret). Og det er et steg i å kvitte meg med det triste humøret. Jeg lot meg selv gråte denne gangen. Teen Wolf er veldig spennende for tiden, og jeg er egentlig ganske overrasket over hvor mye jeg liker sesongen foreløpig. Jeg er veldig spent på neste episode, men jeg vegrer meg litt for hvordan det hele skal slutte. Har selvfølgelig hørt rykter, velger å ikke tro på de, men jeg vet at ofte kan rykter ha en tråd av sannhet i seg. 

wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head

Jeg gikk hjem etter midnatt i går, etter jeg og Oyster hadde filmkveld i kjelleren. Fylte opp magen først med en sterk thaisuppe, deretter sjokoladekake, potetgull, sjokolade, druer og denne sesongens første klementin. Jeg er egentlig overrasket over at jeg ikke følte meg stappmett. Vi så endelig på Star Trek, også endte vi opp med å se på en Kate Hudson-film som fikk oss begge til å gråte. Det var liksom ikke planen. Uansett, jeg er veldig glad i gåturen hjem. Turen fører meg igjennom sentrum, så innimellom er det flere folk ute. Fleste jeg så i går snublet ut av puben, spiste nattmat, eller skulle ta bussen. Hørte på Mumford & Sons, som jeg ikke har hørt på en veldig lang stund. Det var perfekt musikkvalg, og været virket mildere enn tidligere, så jeg gikk i et rolig tempo og nøt nattehimmelen med et smil om munnen. Jeg sovnet rundt halv tre, hvilket er litt dumt. Våknet sent, og var litt fortvilet fordi det var ganske mørkt ute for å være lunsj-tider. Jeg ryddet rommet mitt, støvsugde alle kroker og hjørner. Og deretter kjente jeg at jeg faktisk hadde behov for litt frisk luft, men samtidig ønsket jeg ikke å forlate eiendommen. Så da ble det raking av løv. Pappa kom akkurat inn døren da jeg skulle begynne. Huset var i utgangspunktet tomt, men jeg hadde hørt litt merkelige lyder før jeg gikk ut, så jeg skvatt veldig da han åpnet døren. Han kom ut for å hjelpe meg noe senere, ettersom hagen vår er relativt stor. Jeg klarte å få meg en blemme, og deretter sprekke den. Jeg hadde jo ikke innsett at jeg hadde fått blemme fordi jeg antakeligvis var for kald på hendene til å kjenne det. Det ble litt skitt under huden, og jeg tenkte bare "jaja, jeg tok en ny tetanus-sprøyte i fjor", og fortsatte å rake. Men så sved det så innmari, at jeg gikk inn og skylte og satte plaster på. Så nå har jeg plaster på tommel og hælen, noe som er så merkelig for meg fordi jeg omtrent aldri får sår. Etter jeg ble ferdig med raking, så fortsatte jeg å rydde på soverommet. Bestemte meg for at jeg har akkumulert for mye dritt, og gikk derfor igjennom skuffer og esker. Altså, det er utrolig hvor mye man kan gå og samle på. Det er fortsatt mye jeg kan gå igjennom, men jeg er fornøyd med alt jeg har kastet. Smiler liksom når jeg ser i skuffene mine. Jeg ble så opptatt av dette, at jeg skippet lunsj og gikk rett til middag. Siste måltid ble et eple, hvilket er mindre enn det jeg ønsker å få i meg per dag. Jeg har egentlig lyst til å gå opp i vekt, så jeg vurderer å innføre et ekstra måltid, altså fire fremfor tre. Det var så ofte jeg spiste før Indochina-turen, men jeg avvennet meg det ettersom vi spiste tre måltider sammen. Ja, nei, mat er en viktig ting som antakeligvis blir et punkt på nyttårsforsettene mine igjen. I går stusset jeg veldig over et begrep som jeg har lært i sykepleieutdanningen, og jeg finner fortsatt ikke ut av det. Men jeg gikk igjennom bøkene mine som per dato er i Mars' omsorg for å finne ut av det. Fant ikke det i de bestemte bøkene, så jeg gav opp. Imidlertid så har denne irritasjonen egentlig fungert som en nyåpnet flamme-- jeg ville plutselig lese. Dro opp gamle eksamensnotater, lagde faktisk ny notatbok til å ha på jobben. Har alltids hatt notatbok i enhver praksis, og sykepleiejobb. Den jeg har hatt nå, stammer fra praksisen, så den inneholder mye som ikke lenger er relevant. Så da bestemte jeg meg for å lage en ny en. Det skal sies at jeg har tenkt på det veldig lenge, har bare ikke funnet tid til det. Det har med andre ord vært en veldig produktiv dag, og om jeg skal beskrive helgen min, så har den vært veldig preget av godt humør. Jeg har liksom vært veldig glad, og det føles nesten litt merkelig. 

I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be, so desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe

As of late, my bed has become a hair tie thief. I will go to bed, put my hair at bedside, and when I wake it's gone. I'll look beneath my pillows, remove my duvet, look at the side of my bed. But it'll simply be gone. This morning I woke to my alarm which went off at 10 am, which means I had about ten hours of sleep. I was still very tempted to snooze, because I still felt tired. I'm pretty sure I was either flying a plane (as a pilot) in my dreams, which was odd. I listened to Tom Odell's cover of True Colours (not in my dreams, but real life) and I wouldn't be adverse to listen to it live. I am looking forward to seeing him live, because he does have an amazing voice. It makes me smile thinking of Kiwi's reaction to getting tickets to the concert. Actually, I looked through my pictures on my phone yesterday, and it gave me such a fond feeling of what's happened this year. Sadly I've not got pictures pre- May due to the loss of my old phone. God, I do wonder where that is now. Anywho, I don't know Tom's set-list, and I don't want to google it either. I find that with old(er) age, I've come to appreciate not knowing things, surprises. Good surprises, though, not bad ones. In a few hours I'm going to pick up some crisps, and head towards Oyster's house. 

you love when I fall apart, so you can put me together and throw me against the wall

Teen Wolf var egentlig som jeg hadde forventet, ut fra alt som har blitt gitt av informasjon. Samtidig, så føler jeg ikke at det skal være så enkelt, og jeg vet godt at det venter et par plot twists. Det var en bra førsteepisode synes jeg, og det er noen scener som er så typisk start på en skrekkfilm, noe jeg synes de har blitt veldig flinke på. Satt jo egentlig med skuldrene forhøyet i løpet av hele forrige sesongen. Jeg er veldig spent på neste episode, og det var liksom deilig å få komme tilbake til Teen Wolf-verdenen. I morgen får jeg jo også endelig sett på Star Trek, hvilket betyr at jeg endelig kan slutte å lukke øynene hver gang jeg ser en spoiler på Tumblr dashboardet mitt. Gleder meg veldig. "Du vil ikke gå dobbelt da?" ble jeg spurt i noe humoristisk-, men med underliggende seriøs tone. Jeg gikk litt overtid, det var greit. Men det er no way at jeg går nesten 18 timer på jobb dersom jeg kan forhindre det. Til tross for å føle meg som en zombie og halvveis sovende, følte jeg meg veldig lystig etter vakten. I butikken hadde jeg en sånn klein "dans" med en eldre herre, hvor vi skal forbi hverandre, skjønner du? Det endte i smil og latter, også fikk jeg servert "damene først" da jeg og en annen kar gikk til kassen samtidig. Conversene mine fungerte dårlig i sludd og glatt underlag, så jeg gikk relativt forsiktig. Skulle gå over en vei, og bilene kom kjørende, men siden jeg gikk såpass forsiktig, vinket jeg den gamle mannen bak rattet forbi meg. Han smilte i respons, begynte å kjøre, bilen stoppet. Jeg og den tenårige sjåføren bak bilen ventet til den gamle mannen fikk startet bilen. Smilte søren meg til tenåringen(e) også, i en slags nonverbal samtale om "ha, se den søte gamle mannen som tar så lang tid for å starte bilen igjen, jaja, vi får vel bare vente". Det føltes nesten ut som om jeg var i jobb-mode, for jeg syntes jeg var veldig mye mer glad enn jeg pleier å være. Spesielt med tanke på hvor sliten jeg var. Det begynte vel egentlig kanskje med at damen jeg jobbet med gav meg en klem for en god vakt sammen. "Du er så snill, så jeg håper vi jobber sammen neste gang," sa hun da hun gikk. Jeg ble så innmari overrasket over kommentaren, at jeg ikke helt klarte å si noe tilbake. Alt dette, disse små tingene som har skjedd meg i dag har gjort at denne fredagen har vært topp. Det er en påminnelse om viktigheten av de små tingene i livet, og at snillhet og smil kan gjøre en stor forskjell i en persons dag. 

you left this town, with your windows down, and the wilderness inside

Det er fullmåne tror jeg. Vet ikke om det er supermånen som det har vært snakk om, men den er hvertfall ganske skinnende. Synes det er passende med tanke på at det er premiere på Teen Wolf i dag. Jeg er og har vært vemodig til premiere, rett og slett fordi det er starten på slutten. TV-serier kommer og går, og dog jeg sjelden ser på tv, så har jeg hatt en rekke favorittserier. Deriblant Ugly Betty som jeg så på tv i dag-- kan huske at jeg alltids satte meg foran tv'en i god tid før sendetid. Det er alltids trist når et program tar slutt, du må liksom ta farvel med karakterene. Jeg hater å ligge i vent på noe jeg gruer meg til, det ødelegger evnen min til å leve i nuet. I dag våknet jeg av alarmen min, og følte meg veldig trøtt til tross for adekvat lengde i søvn. Våknet innimellom, kanskje det skyldes det. Det har vært en langt mer produktiv dag enn gårsdagen, og jeg gjennomførte dagens gjøremål. Tok en tur innom butikken, og i dag fikk jeg brukt joggeskoene mine ettersom regnet har vasket bort snøen. Det var veldig deilig ettersom jeg har klart å få et gnagsår over hælen. Jeg er noe usikker på når det oppstod, men det var enten siste dag i London, eller dagen etter. Tror det var sistnevnte. Det er noe problematisk fordi jeg ikke kan bruke enkelte sko. Uansett, jeg gikk fra butikken uten spiralloff fordi jeg ikke kan tillate meg selv å spise såpass mye loff. Her om dagen satt jeg faktisk og tenkte på brød. Seriøst. Hvis det hadde vært en t-skjorte med brød avbildet, da hadde det vært en perfekt julegave til meg. Jeg fant også tidenes video i dag, en sims versjon av Kim, Kanye og Taylor dramaet. Noe av det morsomste jeg har sett på lenge. 

if you could love somebody like me, you must be messed up too

Parts of me are surprised it's been a week since I got home from London. It somehow feels like it was years ago, rather than just a week. I always long for that feeling of not having to bother about life when you're on holidays. However, I also know that regardless of what you're doing in life, there'll always be something to bother you. Yesterday we almost had a bit of a rehearsal dinner for Christmas dinner. It was a good practice, because my dad decided to put cheese in a dish which doesn't require dish. In fact, it should be prohibited in that certain dish. It's funny because Lynx did it a Christmas dinner a week ago I think, and Volla was doing the exact same yesterday. Around 10 pm my phone died due to lack of battery. And I just left it like that until I woke up this morning. It was really strange, because I've become so used to going through my phone before I go to bed. It's a routine. I was supposed to do so many things today, but then the rain was just pouring down, and any trace of motivation disappeared. Included any motivation to exercise. It's just so tempting to think that it's holidays soon, which means a lot of feasting on delicious food. Even though I didn't do 30% of the things I was supposed to do today, I did manage to do one of the most important things I needed to do. And some days you have to be at peace with that. I mean, look at you, you got up and did things today, good on you. I have come to terms with the fact that I've fallen in love with ruffles and bell sleeves. Well, almost. My dream purchase these days is a shirt which incorporates both trends. I had to try on my jeans today just because I love the look of them. I am like half tempted to just buy everything, just as much as I am tempted to buy a tub of ice cream. If I do the latter, I actually need to exercise. Anyway, I need to dry my hair. I become such a thinker in the shower, and I don't even know how many times I forget the amount of time I lather my hair with shampoo. I usually do it twice each time I shower. But today I might have done it three times, solely because I couldn't remember if I really had done it twice or not. I imagine I'd be that sim who does a lot of weird crap unless you tell her what to do.   

They will run you down, down til the dark. Yes and they will run you down, down til you fall

Jeg prøvde på ti bukser i går. Var inne på prøverommet to ganger. Hadde på meg kjole, så jeg måtte dra av og på strømpebukse så mange ganger at jeg nesten ville grine. Etter første runde med prøving av bukser på Weekday, så var jeg veldig nærme å bare kjøpe en bukse jeg hadde prøvd på. Den var for liten i prøverommet, så jeg tok en størrelse større. Men det var bare den tanken på å komme hjem med en bukse som ikke passer, bare for å reise tilbake. Så det ville rett og slett vært bortkastet tid. Så jeg dro med meg et par bukser inn i prøverommet igjen, og det viste seg at den buksen jeg hadde tenkt til å kjøpe faktisk ikke passet. Jeg har vært fan av Cheap Monday bukser i flere år nå, men de siste årene har jeg bare kjøpt sånne billige sorte bukser fra BikBok ettersom de passet meg fint. Problemet med sorte bukser er at fargen ofte blir påvirket med bruk og vask. Av denne grunnen bestemte jeg meg for å betale litt mer for bukser jeg vet holder bedre. Istedet for Cheap Monday, endte jeg opp med Weekday bukser i "Body" som er fantastiske for meg. De er super-stretchy og komfortable, men de sitter bra rundt livet likevel. I tillegg ligner de ikke på leggings, slik jeg følte Cheap Monday's "Spray On" så ut. Jeg endte opp med en lengde som er kortere enn jeg vanligvis velger, fordi lengden jeg ville gå for var utsolgt. Jeg har ikke noe i mot det, fordi jeg faktisk ønsket en noe kortere bukse. Jeg diskuterte bukse-shopping med min belieber friend i går, og det er egentlig en av de verste tingene å kjøpe. Men når du finner buksene som faktisk passer deg, da er det ganske fantastisk. Jeg eier ikke hofter, har ikke særlig rumpe, men har noe naturlige muskuløse ben. Men har alltid syntes at Cheap Monday bukser passer bra, og etter å ha prøvd på et par jeans fra Weekday, så synes jeg de sitter ganske likt som Cheap Monday. Jeg prøvde på et par bukser fra H&M som jeg syntes var dødskule, og selv om kjeden er "moderkjeden" til Weekday, så mangler jeg hofter til å kunne passe H&M-jeans. Jeg er veldig spent på hvordan den nye buksen min vil holde seg i farge og form. Om den holder seg bra, vet jeg hvor mine fremtidige jeans skal kjøpes. Planene i går var ganske vague, og det ble faktisk veldig annerledes enn det som hadde blitt tenkt. Og jeg var ikke akkurat så overrasket. Tok banen til ekteparet, denne gangen til et annet stopp enn jeg gjorde den første gangen jeg gikk til den nye leiligheten. Det var selvfølgelig mørkt, så jeg ble litt usikker på veien. Men jeg hadde det i hodet, og min indre GPS (hei Lindmo), at jeg skulle gå en viss vei. GPS'en på mobilen viste meg faktisk en veldig merkelig vei som overhodet ikke lignet på den veien jeg hadde tenkt i mitt eget hode. Men jeg gikk faktisk med magefølelsen, også hadde jeg jammen meg rett. Ekteparet satt fast på IKEA, så jeg satte meg på en benk utenfor leiligheten og følte meg litt sånn ukomfortabel mens barna lekte like ved og folk gikk forbi. Jeg vurderte etterhvert å spise sjokolade som jeg hadde kjøpt med til snacks. Men jeg visste at jeg kom til å søle på meg selv i mørket, og jeg følte det hele hadde en Bridget Jones følelse over seg. Ekteparet kom omsider hjem, og vi gikk inn i varmen. Min belieber friend kollapset på sofaen, mens Darren reiste for å kjøpe pølser. Både min belieber friend og jeg spiste en yoghurt for å få i oss litt næring. Det var egentlig en litt sånn artig kveld, for min belieber friend endte opp med å legge seg, mens jeg og Darren satt og så på tv. Og kanskje merkeligere var at jeg møtte min far på bussterminalen. I mitt tjuetreårige liv, har det kanskje hendt tre ganger. I dag har jeg faktisk bestilt nye flybilletter. I desember reiser jeg og min mor til Trondheim for å besøke Volla og Mog. I likhet med London, har jeg ikke vært i Trondheim på fire år, så jeg kjenner jeg gleder meg. Det er en mildere dag i dag, og jeg kjenner jeg er litt lettet, for jeg var ikke helt klar for den faktiske vinteren ennå. Jeg har selvfølgelig ryddet i dag, og nå venter det litt mat på meg. 

you could kiss my lips a thousand times and they would never dry

Lønningsdag må vel bety shopping (og betale regninger). Var ihvertfall det jeg bestemte meg for, og jeg syntes at jeg dro tidlig. Men kanskje ikke tidlig nok. Mitt lokale senter var ganske fult allerede, noe som antakeligvis skyldes gode tilbud i dag. Jeg var hovedsakelig på utkikk etter et par basics til vintergarderoben, og jeg visste at jeg skulle ha meg en varm og god cardigan samt basic gensere. Sistnevnte vil si sånne tynne gensere som du bruker under andre plagg. Jeg ville også kjøpe meg en genser, men den jeg så etter var verken i min størrelse eller riktig farge. I stedet fant jeg en annen genser/jakke som jeg ble litt forelsket i. Jeg lot den faktisk bli igjen, fordi jeg ikke klarte å bestemme meg for om den var tidløs nok. Prøvde også på vintersko, men det er tilsynelatende ingen som tar inn den typen sko jeg ønsker. Er visst ikke så trendy, jeg. Tenkte faktisk på det i hensyn til London-shoppingen, at nærmest ingenting tiltalte meg. Alt virket så "ungt" (herregud, du er tjuetreeee), og jeg har egentlig forbipassert en viss lengde på skjørt og kjoler. Det er jo en del mønstre og spesielt former på sko som minner meg om barokken for tiden. Men dog jeg er glad i barokken når det gjelder stoler, så er jeg litt usikker på om jeg også er det når det gjelder klesmote. Jeg benyttet meg av tilbud ved å kjøpe sjampo og balsam som var på tilbud. Ellers kjøpte jeg de avbildede trærne som jeg synes er fantastiske. Har i utgangspunktet tenkt til å ha de på stuebordet når desember omsider kommer, men de passer seg utmerket i vinduskarmen min. Det begynte å føles litt som juleshopping da jeg gikk for å se etter årets julepapir. Dessverre var ikke papiret som jeg hadde sett for meg i butikk, så jeg gikk videre. Men jeg kjøpte med meg juleservietter og "candy canes" til juletreet når den tid kommer. Det begynner å komme seg, nå får jeg bare håpe at det blir julestemning i år. Da jeg kom hjem fra shopping, hang jeg opp klær som hadde vært i vaskemaskinen. Det var en overraskelse da jeg så at min tidligere "oversized" t-skjorte plutselig var på størrelse med en crop-top. Jeg måtte le fordi det fikk meg til å tenke på lin t-skjortene til Kiwi som krympet gradvis da vi var ute og reiste. Det var kun den ene t-skjorten som hadde krympet, hvilket er irriterende. Men det blir da spennende og se hvordan den passer nå. Morgendagens planer er litt sånn vague, men det vil vel gå som det går. Det som er ganske garantert, er at jeg ser min belieber friend. Har også lagt planer for neste helg, som innebærer Star Trek med Oyster. Filmen kommer ut på DVD på mandag, men jeg skal faktisk vente såpass lenge. Gleder meg veldig, til tross for at Oyster faktisk har sett den allerede. 

Dawn is coming. Open your eyes, look into the sun as the new days rise

Jeg tror jeg er ferdig å gråte. Gårsdagen var en stor knekk for mange mennesker, det er fortsatt en stor knekk. De som er ufornøyde med resultatet har en sjanse til å påvirke i en grad relatert til noe kalt "electoral college", og det er ikke på måte på hvor mange protester det har vært allerede. Dessuten, er det viktig å huske at presidenten faktisk ikke har såpass mye makt som en kanskje ser for seg. Han kan for eksempel ikke deklarere krig. Også er det slik at det meste av makten ligger i enhver stat, så man bør faktisk stemme på guvernører, og det tror jeg blir en av de viktigste tingene nå. Det jeg synes er skumlest ved den nye presidenten er alle ringvirkningene valget får. Alle ringvirkningene som allerede har hatt effekt. I tillegg tror jeg han har valgt Mike Pence som visepresident? Og han er faktisk mer skummel enn Trump. Her er et lite sammendrag av saker han står for. Blant annet er han anti-abort, og mener at prevensjonsmidler ikke skal brukes. En skal ikke ha sex med mindre det er for pro-kreasjon rett og slett. Han er også anti-teknologi, og tror faktisk at han mener at kondomer kommer under denne kategorien. Han er også anti-homofili, ønsker å støtte en behandling som kalles konversjonsterapi. Det innebærer å "behandle" homofile, og gjøre de heterofile. Jeg klarer egentlig ikke å tenke på hva slags metoder de bruker engang, men her er et utdrag fra en som har gått igjennom dette selv: "I couldn't even begin to tell you the tactics they used during step one because when I try to talk about it I completely shut down. But it was enough to make 27 people kill themselves in 6 months". Det er mange skumle mennesker i verden, mange av de sitter på store makter. Det er forferdelig å tenke på urettferdighetene i verden, og hjertet blør for enhver dag som går. I går følte jeg meg litt slik: "I hope the roof flies off, and I get sucked up into space", tanken på å kunne slutte å eksistere så man slipper alt dette kan virke fristende innimellom. I dag, derimot er det slik tankegangen min går: "Life is suffering. It is hard. The world is cursed. But still, you find reasons to keep living". Jeg er ferdig å gråte, klar for å kjempe videre. Talen til Hillary Clinton var hjerteknusende og oppløftende, og ordene jeg tar med meg er: "This loss hurts. But please never stop believing that fighting for what's right is worth it. It is worth it". Hun tapte kanskje valgkampen, men jeg vet også at hun har skrevet historie, og at hun har inspirert en verden. I dag våknet jeg før alarmen min gikk, ryddet, brettet, vasket, etc. Har tatt vare på min mor som ser så patetisk ut der hun ligger i sofaen og er forkjølet. Hun fikk likegodt litt av Kleenex-lageret mitt. Har hørt på Tom Odell i dag, skal tross alt se han live om ikke så lenge. Jeg glemmer det bestandig, at jeg skal på konserten hans. Jeg gleder meg ikke til å stå i kø i kulden, huff. Jeg og Kiwi så på X Factor da vi var i London, og gruppen som jeg "forelsket meg i" heter 5 AM, eller 5 After Midnight. Jeg så på hva de har gjort tidligere, de forrige episodene, og det er så herlig med mennesker som gir såpass positive vibber at du sitter igjen med et bredt glis om munnen. Mennesker som bare oser positivitet. 

Og eg sprang. Gud vet kor eg sprang, men eg så ingenting. For alt eg vet, sprang eg i ring.

Oh sweet lord, what a day. To be perfectly honest I wasn't completely surprised by the T-win. It's not my first rodeo, and I've seen a lot of similar cases. That being said, I'm devastated by what seems like yet another loss in a long line of opportunities lost. There's something that stuck to me on Facebook, someone posted a picture saying something akin: Clinton is qualified, she's worked hard, done all the things right, and yet. The feminist in me is enraged, but also tired-- it's another defeat for women. Do you even realise how much sexism there is? All the opportunities we lose due to our sex? Think of all the things you've decided not to do because you're scared. It just makes me feel so sad. The world is a scary place, and it's only going to become even scarier with the new president. I feel afraid for myself, but moreso the Americans, the ones who'll be shun. The new president is a racist, misogynist, sexist, bigot, discriminator, and the list goes not. That's not to say Clinton is perfect, that's the thing-- no one is perfect, everyone is problematic. Sometimes it's a question of the lesser evil, sometimes there's no right or wrong. And in this case, Clinton was definitely a lesser evil. If history has taught me anything, it is that we never seem to learn. We do the same mistakes over and over. For privileged people, I'm not even sure if they realise that this might mean a death sentence for some people. It'll mean more people living in fear. I've been following the #blacklivesmatter since it first started, and it's devastating to realise they'll have to fight harder. It's a regression, is what it is. I'm just hoping I'll be positively surprised, and I'm crossing my fingers for the people who has to live beneath T's wrath. Funnily enough this whole situation reminds me of Teen Wolf, in that the character Deaton usually says something like "nature is always going to balance things out". Meaning that sometimes a lot of bad things happen, but eventually nature is going to balance it out, and likewise if there's a lot of good things happening at once. I don't know, all I know is that Obama will be missed. Surely he'll always be an icon in my eyes, because he's been the coolest American president I've seen. Also, he has a lot of values I resonate with. I've been trying to not think too much of this, but it's like I got home to all of these changes. Suddenly the snow was here, everyone around me seemed different, the smallest things would irk me, and now this. It's definitely a lot of catastrophic thinking in my brain at the moment. On another note, you can perhaps see a bit of my new coat in the picture as I'm standing in one of the mews and looking to the sky. I would like to think that I'm admiring the structure of the buildings, as they are very charming. Yesterday I slept in, it was supposed to be a day of rest to laze in. Didn't get out of bed until after noon, but then I realised there were no food in the house, unless I wanted to eat instant noodles. I was not that desperate, so I put my clothes on and ventured outside in my heeled boots. As it is, I don't really have any winter boots. I've no idea what I did last year for winter, other than my knee-high boots I don't have anything suitable. So I put my boots on, the ones that had made my feet hurt on Monday (I walked over 22 000 steps in them that very day), and carried on to the post office first. It's Lynx' birthday, so I sent my pre-made card for her. Then I carried on to the first grocery store, where I discovered they didn't have my favourite bread. I was devastated, but carried on. Then I went to another grocery store to buy a few things they don't have in the other store. It felt a bit like doing a big grocery haul, and when I got home, it seemed like so long before anyone was going to get home from work. Almost like everyone had disappeared, and I was left with a sudden thought: what if my family had disappeared, and I was left with a house and bills. Nevertheless, I started on an early dinner, as that would be my first meal of the day. This morning I woke up to an alarm, and I had breakfast normally. And although I'm trying my best not to think of the election, it's not going away. Sometimes you just have to process things properly, or else it won't go away. It seems that I have tears waiting to fall. 

don't you know we're all wizards, welcome to Oz

London was above expectations. I've only taken around one hundred pictures on my camera, not cause of lack of beauty. The cause was laziness because I didn't want to drag around my camera at all times. However, the ones I've taken makes me fall in love all over again. It really is a beautiful city. We were really effective with our time, which must be why it was so tiresome. We've walked so much the past few days, and spent a lot of time shopping. Although none of us really did much of it. I did most, but even then it was things I genuinely wanted, which feels nice. It was kind of strange, because I sometimes walked through a shop without wanting to buy anything at all, but still feeling like I should. A London trip usually means a shopping trip. However, we've grown up, I guess, to not buy everything we see. Before the trip I did genuinely believe we'd mostly be in Soho, and that was it. But we really did see a lot of parts of London. I mean, at one part we were in Hammersmith, and then on Friday we were in Shoreditch. Anyway, here's my London diary for this time around. I want to go once when it's not so cold, because I would love to have picnics in the parks.  

FRIDAY: Kiwi and I flew to London on a Friday afternoon, got to the hotel with an hour before we had to leave to meet our pals. It felt very similar to when we were in Asia, and had been out on excursions or doing activities in the day with the group, only to get back to the hotel with an hour spare before going for dinner. We weren't only doing dinner, but also going out later. So we chucked on our dresses, did our make-up, and left with out newly purchased Oyster-cards. First person we met was Lara, who were stood outside of the station we planned to meet up at. Then Gemma came walking a few minutes later. By that time I knew Thomas would be late, and that Ella couldn't make it. So we started walking to Chinatown to find a restaurant that would suit us all. I had given Gemma the responsibility of booking a restaurant, but predictably all of the restaurants were booked on a Friday evening. So we wandered for a bit, which suited us fine because we were waiting for Thomas. Mia was held back at work, so the possibility of her joining us diminished. We were all chilly, so we went inside the chosen restaurant and sat down and ordered a bottle of rosè. Thomas finally arrived, and we ordered our food, which was meh. Regardless, we chatted around our round table, and laughed ourselves silly. Obviously we reminisced upon certain happenings when we were travelling, at it just never gets old. We finished our food, drank the last bits of rosè. Then the waitress basically kicked us out. Lara parted ways with us when we decided to go to Shoreditch. We took a ridiculous amount of tubes, before we finally found our way to The Book Club. Before the trip, Gemma wrote to me in relation to finding a place to go out, saying some of her friends were going to book club. And I thought she meant an actual book club, like "why would we go to a book club?". We ordered our drinks, found a place to sit down and tried to converse in the loud music. It wasn't very easy. Thomas and I talked about life, a conversation that fascinated me, though Kiwi says everyone feels the same. Basically, we talked about what we're supposed to do in life, and my conclusion was that "maybe we just have to accept things like they are". Gemma's friends showed up at last, and we squeezed in three grown men into our little circle. I've no idea what their names were as I couldn't hear anything. Regardless, they seemed nice, and one of them was an avid dancer. And you know I enjoy people who dances properly. One of Gemma's friends bought us drinks, which would make my total units of that night four. Had two beers, which was unwise due to all of the liquid. I went to the loo once, and though I felt a slight urge to go to the loo when we were leaving, it wasn't too pressing. To Kiwi and I's luck, Thomas and Gemma was taking the same night bus as us. Most tube lines stops going around midnight, and we hadn't actually planned how to get home. It's more careless than I ever am. My urge to pee became very pressing when we'd been sitting on the bus for awhile. Thomas had gotten off at his stop, and now Gemma was getting off at the same stop where I said I couldn't hold it any longer. I genuinely felt like I was about to piss myself, and it hurt holding it in. We did a bit of running for some reason I can't remember, and it was a bit like torture. Kiwi and I parted ways with Gemma, and tried to find a toilet. All of the restaurants were closed, and there weren't any toilets in sight. I was desperate, and in the end we walked to a bit more private road, and I had a wee between two cars. Kiwi thought it was hilarious because 1. it was in a kind of nice neighbourhood and between two nice cars, and 2. it's not a thing I would ever do if I wasn't so desperate-- it was unlike me. After stepping out of the river of my own wee, we walked back to the busstop and waited for the next bus. We were in bed around 2-3. 

SATURDAY: We woke up around nine? I can't really remember, but I had a shower. Though we initially thought we'd be out of the hotel around noon, we were out by ten. Our only plan on Saturday was shopping, and fireworks. We had to do a bit of a walk to find somewhere to eat. We ended up walking to Carnaby Street, and by walking through a small opening, we ended up in Kingly Court. We had our brunch in Whyte & Brown, along with other Brits who seemed to already be sipping on alcohol. I don't know why I didn't think of it, but if you're doing shopping in any big city, I would always suggest to do it on a weekday. That way you can usually avoid crowds, which we didn't. Regardless, I ended up with a successful shop. Our first stop was infamous Liberty, and I think my face was priceless when the lift door opened to the fourth floor. Fourth floor is basically the Christmas floor, and has all of the bauballs. It was amazing, like all of the dreams I didn't know I had. Obviously I ended up purchasing two bauballs. We carried on to clothing shops, and I ended up with a coat I have been salivating over since September. Kiwi even knew before I finished my sentence that I wanted to look for that certain coat. Before travelling to London, I went coat-browsing in the shops. I found one which has a lovely look and the right colour, but the quality was awful. I tried another one on, which was not the right colour or look, but the quality was far better. Even if it was a fail, I was grateful for it in hindsight. Because then I knew the coat I tried on was perfect. I am very happy with my purchase, which is the best kind of purchase. I also managed to find what I was looking for as a part of my secret santa present. My blood sugar was running low, and I wanted to find a place to sit down for a bit. However, lunch time in Soho on a Saturday is packed. So after walking around what seemed like everywhere, we ended up on the tube in the direction of where we were supposed to watch the fireworks. We've learned that even if the temperatures in London seem mild, the weather is really brisk. So it feels even colder. We stood on a bridge for a few minutes in the cold, before we decided on finding a hot drink to wait for the fireworks. Once we had been to the loo (I never want to re-experience the feeling of being so desperate you almost pee yourself), and bought ourselves hot chocolate, we went back to the bridge and waited. And waited. And waited. I was apprehensive from the start, and I apologised to Kiwi on forehand if the fireworks didn't happen. I've experienced enough in my life to know that sometimes things doesn't happen when people have written they will. Basically, I read an article with an oversight of places in London where the fireworks would happen. And if that article would be right, we would have seen fireworks. I checked the official webpage of the event, and it said another date. I wasn't at all surprised, because there were no signs that fireworks would take place around where we were standing. Meaning; though there were loads of people crossing the bridge, none were waiting for fireworks. We gave up eventually and headed for Yo! Sushi in South Bank. Kiwi is my sushi-partner by far, and we "discovered" seaweed salad on our Indochina-trip. Both of us had seaweed salad sushi (I'm sure it's got an actual name, but I am not aware of it), and I ended up with a soup after I smelled Kiwi's. With full stomach's, we took the tube back to Paddington, where we were staying. Watched X Factor, fell in love with this performance. And then we both jumped to the window when we realised the noises we were hearing was fireworks. I met the eye of a girl in a window across us, and it was slightly awkward. We went to bed sometime later, and I think I was out pretty quickly because I was exhausted (slept pretty badly night to Thursday and Friday. Then we didn't exactly sleep long enough night to Saturday for me to recuperate).

SUNDAY: We woke up at seven, we had our plans made for the day. Apart from meeting the others, seeing Notting Hill was the one thing I wanted to do in London. So Sunday was started bright and early in order to try avoid queue's to breakfast places. As we decided upon Granger & Co in Notting Hill, we didn't avoid it. It's a pretty popular place, and it felt a bit like standing in a line for a night club. We were also chilly, Kiwi more than me. We had done a bit of a walk to find the place, and though the walk was nice itself (we walked past villa's and nice neighbourhoods), it was pretty darn cold. I also insisted on taking pictures, so my hands were freezing. At last we got a table, and we both went for an acai bowl. I don't know about Kiwi, but it was my first time trying an acai bowl, which is something I've been wanting to try for ages. It's one of the things I regret not doing when we were travelling in Asia. It was good, but not a great choice when we were already cold. Luckily I had my green tea to warm me. We spent some time observing the people, locals and tourists. It's really interesting, people-watching. However, we didn't stay for long. We paid for ourselves, went to the toilet. You know it's kind of posh when they've got Aesop in the washrooms. And then we were on our merry way, passing the huge line of people waiting for a table. We started kind of mid-Portobello road, and walked upwards. It was lovely with the colourful houses, the markets and the gorgeous mews. It was exactly what I was hoping for. I didn't buy anything, but we browsed quite a few shops, some stranger than others. Kiwi bought herself a new hat and socks, and we wandered into a vintage shop with some really quirky Christmas jumpers. I did say if I would find Mark Darcy's Christmas jumper, I'd buy it. It's been on my wish list forever, hasn't it? We walked on, and eventually found the tube station. We went from Notting Hill to Blackfriars, because Kiwi wanted to see the Blackfriars bridge due to a fictional world she's in love with. I suppose she was in some sort of heaven when we were standing on that bridge. I snapped a few pictures of her, and then we walked towards EAT on South Bank again. I really enjoy the area because of the urban feel. We walked past the skateboarding area, and a few street artists. Sunday was a day where everything seemed to go as planned food-wise. We found a table, and Kiwi got the food. Both of us had been to the loo, and the time was around 1 pm, which was exactly what we had planned. I had another hot chocolate, because why not. After food, we walked a bit towards the London Eye, and I got a few pictures of what surely must be the most iconic attraction in London-- The Big Ben. Before taking the tube, we stopped by Oliver Bonas and Paperchase. In the latter I bought a gorgeous mug, which was a discussion topic between the cashiers and I. We took the tube to Oxford circus, where we went through a few shops in order to find a Christmas party dress for Kiwi. Our last shop was Liberty because Kiwi was buying a perfume for her mum. We walked a bit further this time, and I ended up looking at gorgeous velvet sofas. Eventually we were both really tired of walking around, so we walked back to Whyte & Brown in Carnaby Street. We ordered some warm drinks, and Kiwi added a plate of sweet potato fries. We had booked an Indian place for dinner, so we couldn't exactly gorge ourselves on the fries. We ended up sitting for quite awhile, before we wandered off to Office to look at shoes. Kiwi wanted to find a pair of joggers to replace her old red Nike's. At last we walked to the restaurant called Masala Zone, which was practically right beside Office. I almost ate myself beyond full because it was so good. Luckily I stopped before I became painfully full. Indian is always so good. To me it was a great food experience, and according to Kiwi, we sounded a bit like we were drunk. After our meal, we walked back to Oxford street, in search for a proper grocery store. After walking for a bit, we decided upon taking the tube back to Paddington and going to the local grocery store. Kiwi bought herself some snacks, which I now remember she forgot to stock up on. From what I heard from my shower, she really enjoyed the snacks whilst watching X Factor.

MONDAY: We woke up at seven again, Kiwi went for a shower, and I packed my things. We were out of the hotel pretty early, walked among the local's on their way to work in the morning. We left our luggage at the hotel with plans of going to museums. However, the first thing on our agenda was breakfast at a certain place. Whilst walking, a man in a van shouted "are you cold?" towards us, and I answered "yes". Kiwi hadn't heard the conversation, so I retold her everything, telling her I think it was a dig at her hat and mittens and overall look. In that moment, I guess if I could describe Kiwi's general look, I too, would say "cold". We walked and walked, over a bridge, under a bridge, to a business corner, and by the river. Despite looking for the breakfast place so thoroughly, we couldn't find it. So we ended up on the tube to Soho again, and ended up at Whyte & Brown for breakfast. I had an English breakfast, whilst Kiwi went for porridge. After breakfast I wanted to have a look at H&M just to see if they had a different selection, as I know they usually do in Paris. But it wasn't any different at all, so we walked back out in the sun. Kiwi asked if there were any shops we hadn't yet been to, and I suggested Forever 21. It prompted another "shopping trip", as we ended up in Selfridges, and other stores. I actually ended up with a pair of trousers that really can be dubbed as a pair of sweat pants. They're pretty much perfect. After visiting Topshop, we took the tube from one end of Hyde Park, to what felt like the other end. We ended up at the V&A museum in South Kensington, which was a much briefer visit than we had planned. Kiwi went to the loo, and then we went to find somewhere to have a snack. To be fair, the museums we had planned to visit was mostly just so we had something to do. That being said, I would love to go back to the V&A museum someday (it was huuuuuuuge). We had to cut the visit short because we were running out of time. We walked past a lot of tea-places in Kensington, before we ended up on a Cafe Nero, where I had a hot chocolate and a slice of banana bread (my insides always go 'yeees' of the mention of banana bread). On our way to the tube, we walked past a shiny Harrods. I've got to admit that the building does look pretty with the lights. We went back to pick up our luggage at the hotel, then took the Heathrow Express. We had already checked in online, which is the first time I've ever done it. Only had security, and then my priority was food. Had a burger and fries, and then we walked through Boots and dutyfree. Neither of us found anything, so we ended up waiting at the gate. We got on the plane eventually, and the plane took off. I fell asleep at the end of the flight, but woke up for the landing. Home at last to snow and fresher air-- my god, it truly is polluted in London. 

You won't let go, you won't give in till every part of you is suffering. It's the strangest thing, it's deliberate. Done with intent, without repent.

You don't get a lot of space in a hand luggage, in this case it'll mean less shopping, which is an aspect my wallet is pleased by. Although, even if my luggage looks quite full in the picture above, there is a bit of space. The planning of the meetup is still going strong, and I think I've finally managed to get a proper answer from each and everyone as to which day will suit them best. I do, however, need to find a restaurant. I am and was counting on a suggestion from one of the others, but so far everyone's kept mum, which is great. Thanks you guys. My problem is the amount of people we are, because usually you have to book a table when you pass a certain amount of people. So who knows, I might have to do that tomorrow. You know what? I just realised this is like leading a group project, where pretty much all of the group members are lazy fucks. I finished the lengthy Star Trek fan fiction yesterday, and I was surprised by the feeling of reading something akin a script to a movie. I really did think death was inevitable at the end there. I was going to do last minute errands today, but I failed that, so now I have to do it in the morning. It's fine. Since yesterday, I have been trying to focus on doing one thing at a time. I just have an awful habit of multitasking, so it's not so weird I felt a bit overwhelmed with sensory overload yesterday. I do feel pretty successful, so I'm happy with myself for that. You go glen coco, for working on yer flaws! 

put your dreams away for now, I won't see you for some time, I am lost in my mind

Swear to god, I am done with planning meetups. I kind of waited last minute to start planning a possible meet-up, possibly because I knew what was awaiting me. I will cease taking upon projects in this fashion for the rest of the year, I think. Who knew these kind of things has the possibility to drain me so. It would be very stupid to feel drained before I even depart on this trip. I think it's possible I've been subjected to too much of the world lately. Does that make sense? Sometimes I have a sensory overload, and different world problems pull on different emotions, and these issues seem to exist in my head for longer than I would appreciate. Hence a feeling of being drained. I have been reading a Star Trek fan fiction since yesterday, and it has given me joy, but also distress. I've been avoiding reading anything about the newest Star Trek movie, as to not be spoiled. In two weeks time, it's out on DVD, which I am looking very forward to. I'm going to immerse myself in books, I think. Since I cleaned my room on Saturday, I forgot to change the sheets. So some kind of part of me must have known it was indeed not Sunday, my usual day employed for cleaning. Instead I did it this morning, along with gathering my very precious hand luggage. I think I will pack today, so I can go to the shops tomorrow if it turns out I am lacking anything of importance. November, winter, hello to you.