Oh sweet lord, what a day. To be perfectly honest I wasn't completely surprised by the T-win. It's not my first rodeo, and I've seen a lot of similar cases. That being said, I'm devastated by what seems like yet another loss in a long line of opportunities lost. There's something that stuck to me on Facebook, someone posted a picture saying something akin: Clinton is qualified, she's worked hard, done all the things right, and yet. The feminist in me is enraged, but also tired-- it's another defeat for women. Do you even realise how much sexism there is? All the opportunities we lose due to our sex? Think of all the things you've decided not to do because you're scared. It just makes me feel so sad. The world is a scary place, and it's only going to become even scarier with the new president. I feel afraid for myself, but moreso the Americans, the ones who'll be shun. The new president is a racist, misogynist, sexist, bigot, discriminator, and the list goes not. That's not to say Clinton is perfect, that's the thing-- no one is perfect, everyone is problematic. Sometimes it's a question of the lesser evil, sometimes there's no right or wrong. And in this case, Clinton was definitely a lesser evil. If history has taught me anything, it is that we never seem to learn. We do the same mistakes over and over. For privileged people, I'm not even sure if they realise that this might mean a death sentence for some people. It'll mean more people living in fear. I've been following the #blacklivesmatter since it first started, and it's devastating to realise they'll have to fight harder. It's a regression, is what it is. I'm just hoping I'll be positively surprised, and I'm crossing my fingers for the people who has to live beneath T's wrath. Funnily enough this whole situation reminds me of Teen Wolf, in that the character Deaton usually says something like "nature is always going to balance things out". Meaning that sometimes a lot of bad things happen, but eventually nature is going to balance it out, and likewise if there's a lot of good things happening at once. I don't know, all I know is that Obama will be missed. Surely he'll always be an icon in my eyes, because he's been the coolest American president I've seen. Also, he has a lot of values I resonate with. I've been trying to not think too much of this, but it's like I got home to all of these changes. Suddenly the snow was here, everyone around me seemed different, the smallest things would irk me, and now this. It's definitely a lot of catastrophic thinking in my brain at the moment. On another note, you can perhaps see a bit of my new coat in the picture as I'm standing in one of the mews and looking to the sky. I would like to think that I'm admiring the structure of the buildings, as they are very charming. Yesterday I slept in, it was supposed to be a day of rest to laze in. Didn't get out of bed until after noon, but then I realised there were no food in the house, unless I wanted to eat instant noodles. I was not that desperate, so I put my clothes on and ventured outside in my heeled boots. As it is, I don't really have any winter boots. I've no idea what I did last year for winter, other than my knee-high boots I don't have anything suitable. So I put my boots on, the ones that had made my feet hurt on Monday (I walked over 22 000 steps in them that very day), and carried on to the post office first. It's Lynx' birthday, so I sent my pre-made card for her. Then I carried on to the first grocery store, where I discovered they didn't have my favourite bread. I was devastated, but carried on. Then I went to another grocery store to buy a few things they don't have in the other store. It felt a bit like doing a big grocery haul, and when I got home, it seemed like so long before anyone was going to get home from work. Almost like everyone had disappeared, and I was left with a sudden thought: what if my family had disappeared, and I was left with a house and bills. Nevertheless, I started on an early dinner, as that would be my first meal of the day. This morning I woke up to an alarm, and I had breakfast normally. And although I'm trying my best not to think of the election, it's not going away. Sometimes you just have to process things properly, or else it won't go away. It seems that I have tears waiting to fall.
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