can make a good man turn bad

Guttene har fjernet juletreet fra balkongen, hjernen min prater fortsatt til seg selv, og jeg våknet atter en gang før klokken slo 5. Det var litt trist da jeg våknet en time før jeg vanligvis våkner opp, og jeg innså at jeg ikke klarte å sovne igjen. Men sånn er det innimellom-- kroppen bestemmer! På vei til skolen i dag, så jeg en kvinne i en blåfarget kåpe. Det må være den fineste fargen jeg har sett på lenge. Skulle ønske jeg kunne stoppet henne og tatt et bilde, for den var virkelig vakker. På førsteplass på listen over "anbefalte kanaler" på Youtube, står det Folkemusikk. Tror det er meningen at de anbefalte kanalene skal speile videoene du velger å se på, så, ja, jeg og Folkemusikk skal bli bestevenner. I går tenkte jeg at jeg skulle finne en ny fan fiction, men i det jeg så på utvalget, slo det meg at jeg ikke ønsket å lese. Det har riktignok noe med at det ikke er så mye bra ute på markedet for tiden, men det fikk meg likevel til å tenke over den dagen jeg slutter å lese fan fiction. Dagens arbeid var helt ok. Jeg fikk skrevet litt, men jeg kunne skrevet mer. Men litt er mer enn ingenting, så jeg er relativt fornøyd. I det jeg skulle bære sekken min for å gå, trodde jeg den satt fast fordi den var så tung. Jeg satte den ned igjen for å se etter hvor den satt fast, men innså at jeg bare er svak (punktum). Togene var forsinket, og enkelte var innstilte. Tenkte meg det, fordi jeg sa til min belieber friend at i det siste har jeg alltid fått kapret meg en plass på toget. Jeg stod og bekymret meg for de som skulle ut og fly. Toget mitt var stappfullt, men jeg kapret meg en plass. Det var riktig nok en av de setene som er ved dørene. Halvveis på veien var jeg i ferd med å sovne, men var bekymret for at jeg skulle lene meg på menneskene rundt meg. Toget var jo tross alt fullt (og da mener jeg at det var ca. 5-10 cm mellom enhver person), og jeg hadde øyekontakt med skrittet til de fleste, så jeg tenkte at det hadde vært flaut å sovne og muligens "headbutte" en i skrittet. Prøver å minimere antall flaue ting jeg gjør i livet, så jeg tvang meg til å holde meg våken. Jeg trenger å finne en ansiktskrem med SPF i, og jeg trenger nye solbriller. Det er faktisk ting jeg trenger, og ting man bør kjøpe med god samvittighet. Jeg hadde i utgangspunktet tenkt til å jobbe mer med BA, men jeg har funnet ny fan fiction! 

I need you in the day when I’m not dreaming. You pick me up, I don’t wanna let you down

11:11. I wonder, do you purposely make me wait? Do you thrive when I long for your company, does it make you warm to know I'll be waiting for you at home? This is how you satisfy your twisted need to be better, to not be the weak one. Hello, hi! I've been awake for far too long today. Sometimes you just wake up wide awake, and there's nothing to do about it. The annoying thing about it, is that it sort of wrecks you throughout the day. At least I've managed to do my Sunday cleaning. I'm considerate enough to wait to hoover until everyone in the house has woken up. Agh, just had a minor fight with my dad about driving. He wanted to go driving with me today, and I didn't want to. Against what seems like everyone's opinion, I've decided to wait with trying to get my drivers license. I've heard the arguments for why I should be doing it over and over and over. But I resist. Here's a 101-lesson in me. I am not a perfectionist, I don't need everything to be done perfectly. But the things that matter, I try to do as perfect as possible. And in order for that to happen, I need to focus on only that. Maybe I could have had a drivers licence by now if I kept up driving and reading, but it would mean that I'd have to do it half-heartedly. And I would have to do the other things I've been occupied with half-heartedly as well. Maybe it would have worked out just fine, But the thing is, I wouldn't be fine. I wouldn't feel good doing all of those things at the same time. I would feel insufficient; I'd feel like I couldn't do things good enough. And I've learnt a thing or two about myself during my life. One of which is that doing too many things at once and feeling insufficient really reduces my quality of life. So when people go on about why I should get my drivers license, I think of the consequences. It's like when I make choices; what will I regret the most? A drivers license isn't something that's always on my mind, or on the top of my wish list. So why would I want to take on another task whilst my life is currently being uprooted from what it's been the last 16 years. Why would I want to add to the stressors in my life and make myself miserable? Well, this is what I've not said to the people who pester me about getting a drivers license. The highlight of my day will probably be putting on my new nail varnish! I already have it in a mini-size, but I ran out of it. It's burgundy red, and I realise the colour is mostly used during Autumn, but I've never said I follow the fashion rules. I really have to go eat something because I'm bloody hungry, you know, the main reason to why people eat. It's currently really nice weather outside, and it's still the weekend. Have a great day! 

out in the garden where we planted the seeds, there is a tree as old as me

My head sometimes works like a whirlwind and 90% of the time I don't have control of it. It's like another person, sometimes. I'm currently feeling a bit sombre, but still really satisfied with life. Yesterday I finally got to try out Oyster's hot tub. Initially it was just Oyster and I who had planned to use the hot tub, but then I got Monchita to join me. And I was surprised to see that Mars was also going to join. It was amazing, and we stayed in the hot tub until our skin got pruny. We failed at acapella, partly because we're mostly tone deaf, partly because there isn't a song that all of us could remember (apart from our national song, it appears). This morning Oyster and I looked up hotels, and read reviews after reviews. I told her "I feel like I'm going to travel a lot this year," and she agreed. I very rarely save up a lot of money and plan a trip months before. I mostly just go places when it suits me, and I like that. I'm not really any fussy about where I go either, because I enjoy exploring anything. I got a little lesson in baking by Oyster's mum, I watched some snooker with her dad, and I told her younger brother to clean up his toys whilst I supervised. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too comfortable in that household, But then again, they've known me more than half my life. I walked home around the afternoon because I figured I really had to get home and do things. It looked a lot like it was going to rain, and I hadn't brought my umbrella. Though the sky was grey, it didn't start raining, and the temperature was lovely, so I had a really refreshing walk home. The past few days I've really enjoyed having make-up free days. It's weird because after wearing make-up on a daily basis, it's almost a bit frightening not wearing any. But as you keep going without make-up, you get used to it. Oyster braided my hair yesterday and today. Regardless of my whole cranium showing, having my hair braided like this (picture), is one of my favourite ways to keep my hair. As I left the house, I told her I'll come by just so she can braid my hair like that. My phone is about to die. Sometimes I think maybe I'll just let it die and stay like that for an hour or so. But I rarely ever do. Maybe it's time to let it today. 

I listen to sad songs, singing about love and where it goes wrong

You know how sometimes songs have the perfect timing? Well, I was listening to One by Ed Sheeran whilst staring at my belieber friend yesterday morning. Don't ask why, but as I was staring at her wonderous eyelashes, Ed sang: "I will only have these eyes for you". For the past week I've woken up to a message from my Tumblr-friend. I had my first dispute with them yesterday. It's weird. Apart from knowing that their native language is English, I don't really know anything about the person. Still, we've had a dispute. The problem is that arguing through Tumblr-messages when we live on different continents (different timezones), is quite hard if you want to contain the emotions long enough. I will never get over watching clouds and the sky during a sunset. I've been brushing my teeth to the sunset the past two days, because I've been trying to go to bed earlier. Sleep is good sometimes, you know. Observing people at the train is always interesting. Everyone was doing things on their phones, except the man beside me and I. We were both sitting quite rigidly, and I suspect we'll get good postures if we'd keep up the good work. It's one of the things I try to do nowadays, stand upright and sit upright. I am bound to get troubles with my back during my lifetime, but I can at least try to push them back a few years. Once upon a time a lady told me I had a good posture. I'm guessing that there's little truth in that anymore. Yesterday was generally a shitty day for me, but I'm hoping today is better. And I really hope I'm more productive than what I've been. Later today I'll see Oyster and her hot tub hopefully, so I've got that to look forward to! Good morning and have a good day x.  

read between the lines

Am I good enough for you now? Will I ever be? I dreamt about you tonight, for the first time in ages. I keep thinking that you're gone from my brain. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Maybe not, because in my dream we were both there, hugging each other, as if we had been starved from human touch.

Hi, I forgot that having lectures is a very tiring thing. Especially six hours of them, and it's even worse when the audience is small because the lecturer starts talking to you. After he looked at me to answer his question for the third time, I said: "no, don't look at me!" in protest. And he jokingly said: "why not, you've got such lovely eyes?". In the end I didn't have to answer any more questions, so that was good because I really hate being put on the spot like that. It makes me nervous and anxious, which are emotions I try to avoid. But I spent more time talking today than I initially had planned to. The people beside me started talking to me, and I didn't want to be rude, so I had a chat with them. I've days I'm more chattier than others, and I didn't really mind talking with people today. Mid-lecture, I realised my pen pal had written to me. It's actually really nice to have a pen pal these days. I don't know if you've noticed, but I spend a lot of time writing. I had pen pals when I was younger, and I've kept up the habit of writing to people across the world. I'm just a very curious person, and I am willing to listen to people go on about things they are interested in. The last person I was writing with, was an american girl, who I'm friends with on Facebook now. That does not mean that I don't think about stranger danger, by the way. Don't be stupid, kids, don't be encouraged to spill all your personal information to a complete stranger online. Surely you've watched Catfish? I hadn't realised the lectures would last so long, so at the end I was yawning every two minutes. I've been home for quite a few hours now, and I can't say it's any tempting to work on my thesis. But I probably have to, regardless of my wishes. Doing things despite not wanting to is a pretty good quality, you know. Holy shit. I just noticed that the neighbour has started cutting down the tree outside my window. It'll be both good and sad. Trees should be kept, I think. But they're building new properties, so the trees have to go. But I'll miss seeing them spire, then bloom. 

I've been looking for a lover. Thought I'd find her in a bottle

I can type on my keyboard without having to look at it. I've been able to do that for years, and I guess it's a thing I picked up after having to write so many notes at school. But it wasn't until today I thought "that must mean I know where all the letters are placed on my keyboard". However, when I tried thinking of where the different letters were placed, my mind just went blank. It's so strange, but I guess it's an evidence of how the subconscious work. I feel like it's the mastermind sometimes. Anyway, is it really Tuesday? I thought the weekend was closer, and I really want it to be. Because I want to sit in a hot tub and discuss travel-plans and the summer. I'm currently going through online shops, because I really want some new Nike sneakers and a bathing suit! Those are on top of my materialistic wish list for the moment. The string of messages between my "pen pal" and I continues: I had to laugh this morning when I got a very uncharacteristic message from this person. It's like if I just started swearing a lot-- that's how uncharacteristic it was, as this person is extremely eloquent. Yesterday I also sent a nice message to another person, however it was sent anonymously. I enjoy doing that sometimes, because I think everyone deserves to feel like someone cares-- even when it's just a message on Tumblr. (Does that sound really sappy? It probably does, but it's still true). Tomorrow will be the first day in ages that I won't go to school due to some work-related things. I still hope that I'll be somewhat productive. I was pretty good today, and I'm happy with my own effort. Kiwi left earlier than usual, Sugar was absent, and Sally came to sit with us for a bit over an hour. Right now I am going to catch up on some Youtube videos, then go to bed. Monchita is probably leaving the house when I go to bed because she's going to the cinema to watch a movie at midnight. Her birthday is coming up this Thursday, so I ought to find her a present. 

You were on the other side. Like always, you could never make your mind

During the past few weeks I've learned quite a few bits about Kiwi. For instance she's an avid-taxi user. She's also been to Thailand. That's two facts I didn't know before. But on our way home today, I gave her a crash-course in how to take a train properly. Yesterday I started up a string of messages to a Tumblr-user who I've followed for years probably. If it had been my 1D-Tumblr, I wouldn't have thought it was weird. But it was my personal one, and I struck up conversation on a whim. It's something I probably wouldn't have done any other day. But that's me, I do things on a whim sometimes, and sometimes it ends up good, other times badly. It feels a lot like having a pen-pal, although a seriously eloquent one. Today I've done next to nothing, which Kiwi and my belieber friend can confirm. And if you'd asked me what I have done today, I've got no idea. I'm currently enjoying myself a pear cider after having sat in the sun for an hour, reading about Dorothea Orem. The weather today has been unreal, more like summer than spring. I suggested we'd go swimming, but no one was up for it. I am going to write on my thesis now. Honestly. Really, soon, anyway. 

I saw a picture of you looking at a picture of me. Time fades slow so I think so ridiculously

So, Zayn thanked the lads (1D) in a speech when he won an award at The Asian Awards. I saw it on Tumblr this morning, and it instantly made me cry. Although I'm not that affected, it'll be a long time before I can think of One Direction without Zayn. Louis still has "1/5 of One Direction" in his Twitter description. I hope he knows about it, and is keeping it forever. I spent the morning cleaning my bedroom which felt long overdue. The window's been open for most of the day due to really great weather, though I've barely been outside myself. At this time a year ago, I was at Lynx' and Grepper's wedding. I was dressed to the nines, wearing heels and snapping pictures of guests whilst they were enjoying themselves. It's one of my favourite days of my life thus far, and it always makes me smile thinking about all the shenanigans going on that day/evening/night. So happy anniversary to them. I looked through my pictures from Dublin/Ireland today, and it's so nice. Looking at old pictures in general is really lovely. The second picture is from a part of Wicklow Mountains if I'm not incorrect. I said to Sugar the other week that I still wanted to go back to Ireland. I dream about roadtripping around Ireland. She said: "you really love Ireland, huh?". I really do. I've just finished doing some yoga, which was good for my soul probably. I personally think yoga is about the hardest thing ever, because the end goal is to be able to hold a pose properly and focusing on your breathing. I can barely breathe in fear I'll fall. And when a pose is painful to your limbs, you're supposed to hold the pose, being still. When you're in pain, I usually think it's better to be able to move so you can at least distract your body from it. But I guess that's the great thing about yoga. You have to work on your mind as well. I am going to have a shower, finish a fan fiction I started reading, then I get to fall asleep in a clean bed with clean sheets and with a clean body. It's one of the best feelings ever, I think. And it is a privilege not everyone gets to experience. So for today, that's what I'm thankful for. 

you might as well get it while you can babe, 'cause you know you ain't getting any younger

The past week has been somewhat the same. I wake up at 5:45 am each morning, am at school by 7:50 am, attempt writing at my thesis until I give up at 3:00 pm. On Wednesday, I think, I was really fucking tired of doing the same thing over and over again. It's week 5 of working on my thesis (technically week 4 due to Easter), and I was really angry. When I got to school that day, I was wondering if I should take a picture of "my" chair that I'm sure won't have an actual dent of my bum, but to me it will. Since I get to school just before 8 am each weekday, I'm actually so familiar with the cleaning lady now, that we greet each other. I guess Wednesday was just one of those days, and plenty more of them will come, I'm sure. But I just feel so tired, and part of me wants to be done with it already. Another part of me is rejoicing because I get to spend my days at school with my great friends. The other week or so, I told my belieber friend: this is the last bit of freedom that we have, if you think of it. That is unless you choose to not work or anything. I mean, you can always go back to school, and I'm sure it's not actually horrible to work, but eugh. On Tuesday I had a really great start of the day; A man switched seats so I could sit down. A woman gave her bag of buns to the "regular" homeless man I see each day, and I walked a few metres behind, so I got to see the happiness in his face. Yesterday was Friday, the day I had been looking forward to during the whole week. Because the kilo-gang and initially Marble was going to get together outside of school and celebrate a belated birthday of my belieber friend. It was really great, and I got quite emotional at a point. Kiwi said later that it was strange seeing where we all are now contra the first time we went out for dinner together. You know, these are the people I've grown up with for the past few years, and I don't think I'll ever be able to see them as much as I do nowadays. It's a frightening thought, but as I said, I am rejoicing in being surrounded by them. Sugar went home a bit earlier than us because poor her had actually been studying from morning until she met us, whereas all of us had been home for awhile before we met up. My belieber friend, Kiwi and I went to Aker Brygge and lay down on a sort of bench-bed. They're strange, cool little (big) benches sort of like sunbeds for multiple people. Anyway, we lay down and chatted whilst looking at the sea and pointed out stars and UFOs. It was really great, and I filmed a bit of it, because I knew it was one of those moments I want to keep in my memory as long as I can. We decided that we should all go to Stockholm again. On my way home I listened to Younger, which set me in a nice mood. I am indeed not getting any younger, so it's nice to try to do things that make me happy. I told Sugar last night that I can't bloody wait for summer. Admittedly I'll be working most of it, but for the days I'm not, I'm going to enjoy them. In a few weeks I'll even have a new nephew, which seems crazy to me. Life is just weird, huh? 

some answers are better left unspoken when you know you ain't getting any younger

I just read a how-to wear pants when you have a penis. It is the most hilarious thing I've read today, so I suggest you go read it too regardless if you have a penis or not. Someone commented on the post, and wrote: what I take away from this is that men can have “bad penis days”. HILARIOUS. On a less hilarious note, what the hell is up with 2015 and people leaving/splitting up? I've had it up to here already, and it's only mid-April. I just found out that Finchy is leaving the Breakfast Show. Ian left earlier this year, and now it's only Fifi left with Grimmy? Who else will openly fangirl about Niall when Finchy leaves? I am genuinely upset about this development. Fearne Cotton is leaving her show after a decade of being a radio host, and Zane Lowe left a month ago or summat. Anyway, I had a somewhat good exercise-session today. I tried doing cardio on Sunday, but I hadn't done any serious exercise (apart from walks and hikes during Easter) for weeks, so my body was not happy with me. I suspect that I was a bit peckish too, which made me have to stop halfway. But you know, you should do the best you can, and if the best you can do is worse than the other day, it's still the best you can. Wow, is that comprehensible? I decided to do cardio today too, and it went loads better, though I still hate burpees. Today was a better day than yesterday when it comes to productivity, and like almost all days, we sat for seven hours. In the early hours, I started my day by watching the Maze Runner cast on a "panel" called NerdHQ. It's a really great panel too. I think comic-con and such are a bit stilted, whereas NerdHQ was really good. It's actually made by Zachary Levi, also known as Chuck Bartowski (no? not ringing any bells? well, here's his IMBd), which I thought was brilliant. If you didn't realise, Maze Runner is my current obsession and what I procrastinate with to avoid writing on my thesis. The past few years it's been One Direction, but they're currently on a break and writing on their new album, so there's not much action on that front. The talk on the panel made me realise how great Kaya Scodelario is, and how nice Will Poulter is. I'm just really in love with the cast of Maze Runner, and I'm actually tempted to read the books. I am going to head to bed now, because it's a new day of working on my thesis tomorrow. 

sometimes you're half in and then you're half out, but you never close the door

Hello. I just found an author who writes fan fiction within the One Direction-, Hobbit-, and Teen Wolf -fandom. Am mind blown now. I knew the name was familiar! Anyway, I've fallen more in love with the friendship of the cast of The Maze Runner. Funnily enough I saw that Maze Runner had won two awards yesterday on MTV Awards(?) via Twitter. So instead of working on my thesis this morning, I was "researching" the cast members of Maze Runner (and Teen Wolf). It's been a really weird day for me. I was at school before 8 am in hopes of a productive day, but it was anything but. At the end of the day I was whistling tunes that sounded akin old-people-whistling-tunes. And well, maybe it's not too surprising seeing as my alter ego is an old person. (I'm like 70 years at heart. That's why I'm "wise" as Kiwi told me the other day). Yesterday I finally bought tickets to a festival I've been salivating over for the past months. I had sort of decided a few weeks ago, but still unsure due to multiple factors. However, yesterday the factors seemed to disappear. When making decisions I always think about what choice I'll regret the most. To do, or not to do. This time I realised the decision I'd regret the most would be to not do. Sam Smith, Bastille, and Ben Howard amongst many others are playing, and I just couldn't not go to the festival then. Also, I've not been to visit Ale in ages! Also I'm taking the train, so that's one thing I can cross of my (imaginary) bucket list. I'm currently obsessed with What Kind of Man by Florence + The Machine. I am really enjoying singing it angrily out loud. I'm not sure what the song is about, but my interpretation of the song is that it's about emotional abuse. It's a very important topic as well, because I don't think people realise just how damaging it can be. I think I've said that I think everyone's a hypocrite, they just don't realise it. But I also think that there's a manipulator in all of us, and some use it for evil intentions. Anyway, back to the song-- it's really good! 

a thousand days and the sun won't shine, before I come back to you

My mum ran up the stairs and opened my door to say: "I just bought four ice lollies, and you get to choose one for yourself". She's pretty rad at times. Speaking of rad parents, I was at the household of Oyster yesterday. I was telling Oyster about a Youtuber called ThatcherJoe, and how he and his friend either rented or got to stay at this bloody ridiculous house which they made a house tour for. So I ended up putting on the video on their new television in the living room. At that point we were alone in the living room, but after a bit the family minus Mars came trailing inside the house and situated themselves in the sofa. I was contemplating whether to stop the video or not, but no one complained. Five minutes in (the video), Oyster wasn't even watching it anymore. But her dad and brother kept commenting on the video, so I kept it on for a bit longer. Then I thought that maybe it was time to turn it off. So I did, only to have her mum say: "hey, turn it on again!". I even ended up starting the video from the start again because they hadn't watched the start. All in all I thought this was hilarious, and Monchita thought too, after I told her. Oyster was kind enough to snap some pictures of my new hairdo, which is short, as you can probably tell. I was going to try do some work for my thesis today, and then play the Sims. Instead I napped because I was strangely tired, then I washed my make-up brushes, organised my make-up, and now I've just finished watching The Maze Runner. I've been wanting to watch it for awhile, but I guess I'd forgotten about it. But Oyster mentioned the movie yesterday, and I have to admit that I'm impressed. I actually quite enjoyed it. Yes, I might be a bit biased because I love most of the cast, but still-- I really want to see the sequel. It also made me want to watch more of Dylan O'Brien, so I might have to re-watch some Teen Wolf now, just to sate my wishes. Also, I just really miss watching Teen Wolf, and I'm still pretty sad about Tyler Hoechlin leaving the show because I can't imagine Derek not being there. Bah. I have to stop loving things that are splitting apart (even though it's inevitable). Anyway, I'm currently watching interviews for The Maze Runner with the cast, because I think their friendships are adorable and heart-warming, as I do for all friendships. Oh my god, I sound like such a sap. I just really like it when the people I like, like each other as well. 

our love is a river long, the best right in a million wrongs

"Twenty two year olds have no idea what they're doing". That's a quote from a fan fiction that I just finished reading. And that's just great innit? It seems like people agree on the fact that you're not to be held responsible for your actions at twenty two (mostly a joke). Nevertheless, I still can't wait to blast 22 by Taylor Swift and sing it on my birthday, which is now less than three months till. I'm not exactly counting, but it was the 9th yesterday, and despite my horrible memory, I can remember that my birthday is the 9th. The last couple of days, I've been at school for long hours, mostly staring at research articles which is my least favourite thing about writing papers. I'm pretty sure my brain short circuited yesterday, after spending nine hours (8 am - 5 pm) in the same bloody chair that I mostly always sit in. It's more exhausting than I thought, this. The thing about writing a thesis or something else big that has a due date, is that regardless if you're constantly working on it or not, it's always on the back of your mind. I guess some people are better at ignoring it than others, but I'm certainly not. I even skipped exercise yesterday because I was so exhausted when I got home at 6 pm. Well, due to exhaustion and laziness because I didn't want to do cardio. Today I'm sat at another chair in the school's cafeteria. In fact another table, but that's because my usual table is being used for some kind of artsy thing if I'm not incorrect. Yesterday I realised I'd double booked, and it's caused me a bit of stress trying to sort things out because it's school and work, which are both two important things. I'm hoping I'll find a solution to it today. There's a thing, schedule-thing that's related to my thesis that's due at 4 pm today. So that's what I'm going to be working at (have been working at the past few days, really) today. Later this day, I'm going to pop by Oysters, if things haven't completely changed of course. Life is unpredictable and that. I listened to Sam Smith's cover of How Will I Know yesterday, and it gave me the shivers and goosebumps. I'd forgotten how brilliant that cover is, how brilliant he is. Anyway, happy Friday and weekend!

the world can now confirm that you were the quickest sperm

Yesterday I looked at a picture of Harry Styles looking like a rock star from the 70's (or summat), and I realised he's actually got longer hair than me. I was very amused this morning, looking through my Tumblr, seeing that Niall is going to be a caddy today. MTV wrote: "Niall Horan Picks Up A Surprising New Side Gig During One Direction’s Tour Hiatus" which I thought was very fitting. I really can't see any other person who would do that, but I guess that's why I'm so fond of him. I discovered Tom Rosenthal yesterday, and I made my belieber friend watch a song called Hey Luis Don't Bite Me. I think it's absolutely hilarious, though you'll have to know a few things about football and Luis Suarez in order to understand it. He has got a few serious songs, and then some funny. The videos are ace as well -- the animation ones are great, and the ones who are not are great as well. A+ for all the nature, gah, it makes my heart yearn for adventure. Today I went to school, and I sat there from 8 am till 4 pm with my belieber friend. It wasn't the best of days because I had to read through and translate research articles, which is my least favourite thing to do. Plus, my body was a bit strange today, like very tired despite sleeping fairly well. I also realised I'm an avid Google-user. My phrase of the day must be: "Google it!". I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow, though I'll still have to read through research articles. Yes life! At least my belieber friend and I popped down to Tjuvholmen after long hours at school. I was nearly attacked by a bird due to my delicious hot dog. My belieber friend and I share a love for hot dogs, so we decided to indulge ourselves. Funnily, there was actually a little warning note at the kiosk, where we bought our hot dogs. It said to beware of the seagulls stealing hot dogs. We both laughed at the sign, but perhaps we shouldn't have. Luckily I got to keep my hot dog to myself, but only because my belieber friend rescued me from the seagull. I think we've both developed a phobia against seagulls now, as we kept flinching each time we heard the yells of a seagull. Right now I'm going to catch up on some Youtube, before I read through a research article that was delivered to my house today. I ordered it a few weeks ago, and I'm crossing my fingers that it's actually relevant for my thesis. Must go to bed early, though. I'm knackered. Agh, I just found out that Tyler Hoechlin might be quitting Teen Wolf? It's slightly bruising my heart, because I love Derek. He's my favourite along with Stiles and Lydia. Luckily he might reappear, according to the rumours, but still. I might have to re-watch all of the seasons just to mourn his character (or not, because I don't have time for that). 

Now I’m all alone and my joys turned to moping. Tell me, where are you now that I need you?

Jeg kjenner at jeg savner søstrene mine. Det skjer hver gang, uavhengig av hvor lenge jeg har vært på besøk, eller hatt besøk. Ender alltid opp med følelsen av et tomrom, men det går fort over. Mennesker er tilpasningsdyktige. Søvnen var ikke like god i natt grunnet det velkjente fenomenet, menstruasjon. TMI? Dagen har vært noenlunde dårligere i kvalitet grunnet vedvarende ubehag. Forhåpentligvis er ubehaget borte innen morgendagen, også går livet videre. Om ikke så lenge er det faktisk 10 års-dagen til mensen og jeg. Er det noe man feirer? Morgenen ble brukt på å spille The Sims. Det "lille" jeg hadde tenkt til å spille, strakk seg utover tre timer. Simsen min har nå forlovet seg og har to barn. Det er så lett å miste tiden når du spiller, og om det hadde vært min egen pc, hadde jeg nok sikkert fortsatt spilt. Gikk nettopp igjennom bildene mine på Facebook, og det er en sånn tidsreise til fortiden. Det fikk meg også til å innse at jeg var mye på farten i 2012! For noen uker siden, introduserte Oyster meg for Where Are Ü Now av Skrillex and Diplo ft. Justin Bieber. Jeg har alltid hatt en svakhet for Bieber sin vokal når han synger rolig, så sangen går på repeat disse dager (til tross for at det egentlig er dubstep?). Sangteksten minner meg merkelig nok om Skins, da Sid sier til Cassie: "where were you? I needed you". Klokken nærmer seg kvelden, og jeg må virkelig sette i gang med bacheloroppgaven min. Ser ikke helt hvordan den skal bli ferdig slik det går disse dager. Spesielt når jeg egentlig bare vil dra på Tanum på Paleet og bla igjennom alle notatbøkene. "Ahhh, ka skal ej gjør med livet?" sa jeg til meg selv i sofaen hos Lynx. Hun observerte min lille mini-krise og lo for seg selv. 

it's poker, he can't see it in my face but I'm about to play my ace

I played the Sims yesterday, for the first time in years. My favourite part has always been to make the house and decorate it. So I used a cheat (motherlode) in order to get the house like I wanted with brick walls, plush chairs and bookshelves. It ended up looking brilliant, I thought, and like my personal dream house at the moment. It also ended up making me think of my life, and life in general. And just how not easy it is compared to the Sims. The reason why I've not played it in so long, is because I've never downloaded the game to my computer, but Monchita has. And yesterday we escaped the big gathering downstairs. Monchita did actual homework, whereas I just played. I've stood at the bus stop outside my house in my pj's twice. Both of those times, Monchita and I were escorting Volla to the bus. I was in my long johns today, and Monchita had her pj bottoms tucked into her socks. I hadn't even washed my face, but we stood there and waved at Volla as she got on the bus. I've spent the rest of the day cleaning my bedroom, organising my closet and reading fan fiction. I've not done anything else. I should probably do some work for my thesis, but it's the least appealing idea to me at the moment. But a part of me wants to do it, to get on with the work. I haven't really properly started writing. At least it doesn't feel like it. And though I've got two months left, I'll probably have very little time at the end. Ugh, now I feel like I've guilt tripped myself into writing. Only, I'll probably hold off until tomorrow. 

these fishes in the sea they're staring at me oh oh

OneDrive and I are no longer friends. Gah, I've nearly lost my document once before, and today I actually lost one. I'm really pissed at the moment, but I'm sort of over it already. It was worse the first time it happened. The pictures are from the "blue room" as I mentioned yesterday. Today I woke up slowly to the sun in my face, as I do the times I have a lie in. The morning was mostly spent reading a Teen Wolf fan fiction, which was a lot better than expected. I'm guessing it's because it was such a slow-build, and I always do find those great. Around noon my mum announced that we were to visit some relatives. I've not seen them for ages, because I usually just skip out on those gatherings. It's just really awkward to sit at a place with loads of people who aren't able to speak the same language as yourself, and you have to wait until your parents leave because it would be considered rude otherwise (exception is when you have small children that has to go home). My brother opted out of the thing because he's antisocial, Monchita pleaded to stay behind as well. But both Volla and Lynx (we were Facetiming with her and my nephew) said she had to come along. It didn't end up that bad, and there were a hell of a lot more people than I had expected. Volla and I had guessed around 40 guests, but when we told the numbers to the host, she said there were loads more than 40, and she had expected more as well. We were a group of Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, and Norwegian. It's funny because the host tried painting a family tree to show how all of us were connected, but it was too complicated, and it ended more in laughter than comprehensible speech. An old classmate of mine was there, because she's also in the whole family tree. Surprisingly, she has now got a kid. I didn't get to talk much to her, or her kid, but he was adorable. Monchita said to me: "it's funny how different paths people choose". And it really is. Volla, Monchita and I were then prompted to talk about kids, and I jokingly said I'd like a big flock of children. Volla said "you'll have to find a man first, then". It annoys me that it's all down to that. It seems like it always is. Anyway, tomorrow we're having the relatives over for dinner, which means it'll be today all over again tomorrow. Only this time, it's us who has to do all the work. I mean, it's nice once in awhile. And one of the children, I'd not seen since he was just born. Now he's one? So I guess it was finally time to get together. I'm really looking forward to eat chocolate tomorrow, though I'm guessing I'll have one or two small bars, then be satisfied. 

right from the start, you know I've got you

I was actually honest when I said I've chopped off half my hair. I watched it fall when my sister cut it. I felt a twinge of sadness because it'll be a long time until I can do a high ponytail again. But it was only a little twinge, because I've wanted this for so long. Initially I had decided that I wanted to cut it like I did last summer. But my sister suggested shorter, and I'm pretty much always up for what my sister has in mind. I told her that she's the only hairdresser I'd ever say: "you can pretty much do whatever you want". I did stop her at a certain length though, as I realised just how short she had in mind. But she got to choose a new colour for my hair. It's a bit funny because on Friday, when I had arrived, I met my sister at the hair saloon, and she was in the middle of a little course? where they were learning about colours. And she tested out the new knowledge on my hair, which lead the other co-workers to look and touch my hair. It was slightly weird, but sort of funny too. Hi, by the way. I got home last night after a slightly delayed plane. It didn't matter anyway, as the airport had renovated. It was really nice sitting there, and I got in a few words for my thesis. There's 226 new pictures from my trip to my sister and co, but my favourites are the ones that my nephew took. I've shown him how to take pictures with my camera multiple times, so he knows how to work it now. I jokingly said yesterday that he might have to inherit my camera because he knows it so well. I've just looked through the few pictures he took, and they're of Lynx, Grepper, Me, carpets, the wall, the floor, of him (one selfie). I've decided to post two pictures for each day (except for Saturday because it appears that I took zero pictures that day). Looking back at the trip, I've got to say it was really different from all the others. We almost didn't do any shopping (only yesterday, when I bought something for my other nephew that's due in a few weeks), and we went on walks pretty much each day. In total I've sat in their car maybe 70 minutes out of the six days I was there. It was a bit like a therapeutic getaway for me, I think. I was lucky with the weather, though I realise judging by the pictures, it mightn't look like it. But a day without rain is pretty much "good weather". , and as you can see it's mostly just nature. That's because we went on a walk almost every day. A lot of the pictures are nature, because I love that. It brings me inner peace. Yesterday I sat inside "the blue room," as I called it, in Atlanterhavsparken and watched fish swim by whilst listening to music. I was so at peace, and so absorbed in the fish, that I didn't realise Grepper had sat himself behind me with a cup of coffe. It was only when I saw Lynx in my peripheral vision, that I realised that all of them had come to sit in the "blue room" with me. Sitting in that room, looking at sea creatures, was the first time I'd ever entertained the idea of snorkelling. I'm going to miss my nephew waking me up each morning, watching the most random movies with Lynx and Grepper, and having the lovely nature around me. But today Volla is coming, so I'm happy about that. I talked to her over Facetime the other day, when my nephew had decided he'd had enough of chatting with her. She's writing on her dissertation, so we've got a lot of common at the moment. Monchita and my parents drove off just now, off on a little roadtrip to Sweden. I didn't want to come along, because I didn't want to. Plus I am going to do some cleaning today, as none of my other family members seems to think that's important. I was surprised that I didn't think that much of the One Direction situation as I was visiting my sister. I had figured it would bring a damper on things, but I almost didn't think of it. And when I did, it was rather grown up thoughts. I've decided to not jump on any wagons, as there's more drama than I am willing to get sucked into. I've learnt not to assume things, and I won't with One Direction either. But the interesting thing about Zayn leaving One Direction, is that I can feel myself tugged towards One Direction again. I'm hoping it's just a fluke, but I'm also a bit glad that I'm so fiercely fond of them. It's also interesting to see the other lads sing Zayn's part, because as one wrote: "they’ve been hitting notes I didn’t know were in their vocal ranges". I'm actually quite excited about how their new album will be. Also, the new song by Zayn that was released and caused hysteria is really nice. It's really chill, and I'm enjoying the lyrics. Though I must admit that I'm surprised by the genre, as I'd always imagined that he would do r'n'b. Someone wrote that the song was a waste of his vocals, and I guess I can see what they mean about that, because Zayn can do some pretty amazing riffs. But I still think his new song is super chill (that sound really weird from my mouth). The world is as always problematic, and I'm still really disappointed with all the police brutality going on. I've thought of it as of late, and I've come to the conclusion that I've become quite distrusting towards people with authority. It's hard living in a world, trying to trust people when history seems to show you that you shouldn't. Anyway, on a brighter note, I've come home to really great weather which does loads for my mood.