there's truth in the darkness we find

Det er rart, men ofte vet du ikke hva du har før det er borte. Og livet snus på hodet raskere enn du vet. Jeg ble litt tatt på sengen i dag, og fikk kjenne på nettopp dette. Det var ikke engang en realitet, men bare den hypotetiske ideen om det fikk tårene til å renne lenger enn forventet. "Dette er latterlig," sier jeg til meg selv, hikstende. Men vi er jo alle latterlige, vi mennesker, ulogiske. Kanskje derfor vi gjør så mange feil. I dag så jeg på Teen Wolf, i stuen. Og jeg er så glad! Endelig skjer det noe med alle løstrådene, de faller sammen. Det var en liten lettelse, selv om jeg venter spent på hva som skjer videre. Jeg må innrømme at jeg ble veldig overrasket og lykkelig av ulike årsaker. De siste døgnene har jeg hørt på Gabrielle Aplin stortsett hele tiden. Hun kommer med et nytt album den nærmeste fremtiden, og det høres bra ut, til tross for et stort skift. Hun har alltid vært en talentfull låtskriver. Det er litt artig, at jeg har faktisk fulgt flere artister fra Youtube til de har fått platekontrakter og virkelig kommet seg langt. Det viser seg at noen ganger så går det faktisk om man virkelig ønsker det. Solen har endelig tittet frem etter en uke med regnvær, og ironisk nok reiser jeg til et annet regnvær for helgen. God helg. I morgen skal jeg huske å spise sjokolade, da jeg stadig glemmer det vekk. 

I feel better in the morning when all my troubles lose their meaning

På mandag, forrige uken, 10 dager siden, møtte jeg opp i Oslo. Kiwi lurte på om noen befant seg i Oslo, og jeg sa nei, men at jeg kunne møte henne der. Måtte bare ordne med dåpsgave før jeg tok toget inn til byen. Hun satt i et møte, som hun trodde skulle vare i en halvtime. I stedet satt hun fortsatt i møtet da jeg ankom byen, og hun ba meg om å komme dit. Så der satt jeg, og hørte på at hun planlagte verdensreise. Etter møtet var ferdig, skiftet hun fra ballerina sko til addidas sko, og vi gikk for å finne et sted til å sette oss ned. Etter Kiwi's forslag, bestilte vi begge ingefærøl. Jeg visste ikke at det faktisk var en drikke som inneholdt alkohol, da jeg vet det er svært vanlig vanlig drikkevare i statene, nesten på linje med vanlig brus. Vi snakket om reiser, og jeg slang meg på ideen. Vi skrev en liste over steder vi kunne tenkt oss å reise, og etterspurte et nytt møte. Neste møtet var noe kronglete, vi hadde ikke snakket nok sammen, verken av oss hadde satt oss ordentlig inn i det, reisemannen var noe oppgitt. Det tredje møtet var i dag. Jeg og Kiwi møttes litt tidligere, satte oss ned for å se igjennom bøkene jeg lånte fra biblioteket i går, og drakk grønn te. I det vi gikk ut av cafeen, begynte regnet å falle. Jeg hadde gått ut fra huset i regnjakken min, mens Kiwi hadde forlatt sitt bosted i en skinnjakke. Vi ankom møtet noe sent, og ganske våte. Denne gangen var vi bestemte, visste litt mer hva vi ønsket. Vi hadde jo bestemt oss for at vi skulle booke turen i dag, så da måtte vi bestemme oss. Det morsomme er at midt i møtet, så jeg Oyster i døren. Hun hadde nevnt det for meg, da jeg stoppet innom henne denne uken, at hun tenkte på samme selskap som jeg har tatt i bruk. Hun tenker riktignok på utveksling fremfor reise, slik som jeg og Kiwi skal. Selv om jeg har kjent Kiwi i tre år, så var dette første gangen hun møtte Oyster (om jeg ikke tar feil??), og det var merkelig å se mine verdener krysse veier. Uansett, Reisemannen kom frem med forslag, og vi var enige. Vet egentlig ikke hvor lenge vi satt der inne, men booket turen fikk vi gjort! Reisemannen sa at vi gjerne kunne ta kontakt, eventuelt et nytt møte. "Virkelig? Vil du virkelig at vi skal plage deg mer?" lo jeg. Kiwi og jeg er enige at vi muligens har vært på vårt merkeligste når vi har hatt møter med ham. Og når vi er merkelige, så er vi virkelig merkelige. Men ja, vi har booket tur til Asia neste år! Jeg kan omtrent ikke tro det, og jeg må le innimellom når jeg tenker over hvor lite gjennomtenkt dette er på min side. Før i dag var verken jeg eller Kiwi klar over hvor vi skulle reise, og det viser seg at vi hadde oversett et langt dokument som Reisemannen hadde sendt på mail. Følte oss passe nok dumme da, men slik er det. Etter vi hadde booket turen, dro vi for å spise. Kiwi har hatt svært stor innflytelse på mine livsvalg den siste tiden. Om jeg ikke er forsiktig, så tar hun nok over livet mitt. Men jeg har vurdert kostholdet mitt den siste tiden, og om jeg skal innføre null-kjøtt-dag. Mitt problem har vært å finne hva jeg skal spise i såfall. Blir spennende å se om jeg faktisk gjennomfører dette. Før vi dro hjem, gikk vi innom en reisebutikk hvor Kiwi ble fascinert av absolutt alt. Hun var som et barn i en godteributikk. Kofferten min er snart ferdigpakket, og jeg er egentlig spent på morgendagen. Det er faktisk to uker siden jeg var ute på reisefot, og det føles faktisk ikke så lenge siden. Bare tenk, om et halvt år skal jeg på reisefot konstant i to måneder! Lenge leve livet, vi vet aldri hvor vi ender (gjett sangen).  

just the thought of you gets me so high

I think maybe I am attracted to blue, like, sometimes I pick up things which are blue without consciously thinking about it. I didn't use to watch television before, but now as I don't have school, no steady job, it's become a good friend of mine. (Well, at least these few days I've been lounging at home). I've been watching Ugly Betty, which is one of my favourite television shows ever. I still get a twinge of sadness when I remember it's done, but I genuinely think it's the television show with the best ending ever. Anyway, I've really been enjoying watching it again. Yesterday, as I was walking to Oyster, it was pouring rain, and I do love me some pouring rain once in awhile. It really does feel freeing, especially as the bridge to You & I was playing in my ears, and it started pouring more rain. I do love it when music has good timing. I've been listening a lot to Want To Want Me by Jason Derulo after I got home from France, because in our regular morning routine, was listening to a music channel that played the same bloody songs each morning. And Want To Want Me was one of them. I actually think I hadn't heard the song until I listened to Little Mix's cover of the song. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it certainly was mine. I finally managed to finish The Woman Who Stole My Life by Marian Keyes yesterday. It's been a fucking long journey. I bought it back in January, started on it, and left it to dust. I just couldn't get into it, is the thing. Some books you have to get through a certain amount of pages before you get into them, others are just interesting at once. "One day, sitting in traffic, married Dublin mum Stella Sweeney attempts a good deed. The resulting car crash changes her life. For she meets a man who wants her telephone number (for the insurance it turns out). That's okay. She doesn't really like him much anyway (his Range Rover totally banjaxed her car). But in this meeting is born the seed of something which will take Stella thousands of miles from her old life, turning an ordinary woman into a superstar, and, along the way, wrenching her whole family apart. Is this all because of one ill-advised act of goodwill? Was meeting Mr Range Rover destiny or karma? Should she be grateful or hopping mad? For the first time, real, honest-to-goodness happiness is just within her reach. But is Stella Sweeney, Dublin housewife, ready to grasp it?". I got the whole book wrong. I don't know if I was just little attentive (I'm guessing that's what it was), or if Keyes just fooled us all, but I didn't get what was happening until the last 20 pages which were read in a super speed at midnight last night. I will say, that though this is not my favourite of Keyes, she always manages to make me laugh. I'm not quite sure what it is, but she'll always have me giggling. Also, I'm very fond of the characters. They were absolutely delightful and confusing. I might go to the library afterwards so I can pick up some more reading. I ought to take advantage of all this spare time. 

for every sock gets a hole

Today has been such a delicious reprieve from my previous busy week. I had a lazy morning, spent my first hours lounging on the sofa with the telly on in the background as I read on my phone and drank tea. Then I finally got around to cleaning my bedroom, every dusty bits disappeared into either a cloth or the hoover. New bedsheets. I even managed to motivate myself to do a bit of exercise today, though I might have done something to a tendon. Hopefully nothing happened, but it was a reminder of the importance with warm ups before exercise. Admittedly it happened whilst I was doing a warm up, so I'm not sure how I should have prevented it. Oh well. On the airport in France, on our way home, I bought myself a magazine and a book. The book is called The Year I met You by Cecelia Ahern. I've read plenty of Ahern's books, but I realised I hadn't read her most recent ones. The summary says "The year that changed my life - For Jasmine, losing her job felt like losing everything. The year I found home - With a life built around her career and her beloved sister Heather, suddenly her world becomes the house and garden she has hardly seen and the neighbours she has yet to meet. The year I met you - But being fired is just the beginning. In the year that unfolds Jasmine learns more about other people than she ever dreamed. Sometimes friendship is found in the most unexpected of places". I started reading it that day at the airport, waiting for us to board the plane. And I finished it the next day. I enjoyed it immensely, and you know when you don't want a book to end? Well, it was like that for me when I realised I only had twenty pages left. In the print I've got, there's a q&a at the back, about the book. And Ahern says: "[...] the message is that no matter how stuck we feel, we are always moving, and transforming. All difficult moments are transitional times, we are always evolving, and becoming the next version of ourselves". The book was actually published last year if I'm not incorrect. But it came into my life just at the right moment. 

you taught me the courage of stars before you left

Yesterday was G-R-E-A-T. I went to Marble's around 2 pm, in order to help out with the food. I made a salad, prepared the potatoes and sweetpotatoes, and made white wine sangria. The latter seemed to be a success, seeing as everyone finished their glasses and more. Once Kiwi and my belieber friend came to the house, we started the barbecue, I was sipping on a cider already. Marble was the chef, and I poured the sangria for the people. We ate, ate and ate. Well, I did. I had four sausages, my standard amount. We shared the company with a cat that Marble is well familiar with, and with a dead bird which was very disturbing to me. Marble served cake, and I had one big piece and had to take a break cause I was stuffed. Afterwards we decided to retreat to the inside, as it had begun to become a bit chilly. We played games, drank more alcohol, chatted, laughed. I had a lot of jelly shots in addition to the things I drank, but felt surprisingly good. My belieber friend and Kiwi might beg to differ, but I really did feel like I was fine. We went around 10:30 pm. Darren actually drove us a bit, seeing as he was there to pick up my belieber friend, his fiancée. Kiwi had doubts about whether she'd come out with us. She had an headache that had appeared during the evening. I tried to be objective, but also persuasive. Marble is a peer-pressurer. Honest. That is why it's dangerous to be drinking alcoholic beverages with her because she'll always talk you into drinking more. Eventually Kiwi was persuaded to come along with us. Marble is mostly always up for new things, so she brought us to a new place, unfamiliar to both Kiwi and I. We'd gotten there early for once, because we wanted to avoid an age restriction older than us. And we did right by coming early. At first it was a bit few people, more silent than I'm used to. But it did come streaming in people after people. We'd had enough of sitting still, and decided to go dancing. And boy, did we dance. The dance floor was actually outside, and it was decorated with lights and soap bubbles came raining above us. It wasn't very big either, which was a bit problematic. I was looped into a dance with a long-haired man in a plaid shirt. The thing about small dance floors, is that there's not much place to hide. And a good dance floor is always dynamic, changing, so sometimes you'll end up in a completely different place to where you started. But yes, small space means it's harder to hide from the creepers. Long-haired man was indeed a creeper, and I had to hide behind two guys on two different occasions after I'd extracted myself from him. We were also lucky enough to had grabbed the attention to a lone guy who constantly followed us around the dance floor. Admittedly we did have another guy joining us for the most of the night, but that was welcomed in my eyes. He was a good dancer, and was brave enough to show them off. Also, the big difference was that he didn't exude creepiness. He seemed like a happy go-person, and those I approve of. We met a lot of different people on the dance floor, like you do. But I felt even more interactive on this dance floor, than ever. Kiwi left us around 2 am, and Marble went to the loo. I thought, well, lets go to the dance floor then. I got swiped into the cocoon of two men, and I thought "this is not where I want to be". And as if she could see it, a woman dragged me out of the cocoon and invited me to a proper session of rave dance. I really truly whipped my head back and forth. We were at this for quite a long time, and I had a jolly good time before I parted my ways with her, because was suddenly dancing with the good dancer again. I'm not sure where I was when Marble found me on the dance floor, but I was certainly dancing. Oh, right, yes I remember now. I was admiring the beard of a man, and his friend swiped my upper lip that I guess had gathered sweat? I'm not sure of why he did it, but I did think "well that's a bit gross?". Nevertheless, we danced when Marble found me. A guy suddenly pointed at Marble, said "your bag is gone". We were confused, but realised that he was right. Her bag was indeed gone. But he also pointed to the guard, to tell us that the bartender had the bag. He'd found it and given it to the bartender, and we were ever so grateful. The bartender told us to drink some water, thinking it had happened because we were drunk. In fact it was just another typical Marble accident, as she's prone to losing her stuff. Nevertheless, we took a break from dancing and had a glass of water. I talked to a man standing by the water, random chitchat. He said he liked my outfit, which I preened at. I also complimented a guy for his jumper. In fact I think I complimented quite a few. We ended the night with a last jig. Well, in fact it was more of hip hop, which, I think I'm horrible at. However, I did bust my moves with this gal who yelled at me: "the guys can't dance for shit," and I laughed back at her in agreement. We actually gathered quite a crowd. I'm not sure if they were watching in fascination or horror. I shook hands with a few people, hugged some, and left with Marble. It is genuinely the strangest night out I've had when it comes to dance genres. I got home at 4.30 am, and got in bed around 5.15 am. Woke up around 10.20, so I had around five hours of sleep. But I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep for longer. Now, on Friday, when I was at the island a guy approached me. We chatted whilst I was packing up to leave, and he talked about an island I've not been to. When he heard I hadn't been there, he was shocked and said: "okay, then we'll go together tomorrow". I explained that I couldn't, I had the dinner with the girls. And he said "okay, Sunday. I'll wait for you on the pier until it's 2 pm". I warned him that I was going out, that I might'n't come along. He was fine with this. And with that I bid my farewells, walked barefoot on rocky roads just to avoid chatting with him. So you know, today was Sunday. And people in their right minds would not have shown up at the pier before 2 pm. But when have I ever been sane? I showed up, and he said "wow, I'm really surprised". I wasn't surprised by me showing up. When I've decided on something, I've decided. But I get that he was surprised, because another girl would probably not show up. Anyway, the amount of people waiting for the boat was ridiculous but understanding as it was wonderful weather. I warned the guy that I'd probably be poor company today, seeing as I'd gotten home at 4.30 am. He said he understood, chatted on. Once on the boat, he told me about the different islands, what to expect from all of them. He also told me about a newly "made" beach in the city. I felt a bit like listening to a tour guide, which I mentioned at the end of the day. Once I'd gotten my towel out and undressed, I waded into the water. Him too. Also, I realised I'd been on that island before, that's where I went years ago. Not my "regular" island. We'd set our goal to swim to a certain place, and we made it. Good on us. I went back to the beach to have a lie down. Having a nap, as he said. He then wandered off to speak with his friend. He came back an hour later, maybe, and I'd been half asleep. He said sorry, "it's not a great date when I've gone off for so long," he said. I laughed in surprise, and said "do you think of this as a date?". He looked slightly uncertain, which seemed strange for his personality. "Well, maybe not, but also kind of," he said. I am blunt when I need to be blunt, so I said "well, it certainly isn't for me, so you're off the hook about not staying with me at all times". If I'd been brutal and really honest, I'd say "and I quite like it when you're gone". I thought it was slightly funny when he excused his absence because his friend was chatty. "You know the type," he said, and I thought "well, I am looking at one right now". He went for a swim, and I got the company of a tiny chihuahua who'd run off. I knew who was the owner anyway, and she was currently in the water. So I sat with the dog for awhile, waiting for her to notice. Eventually she did, and I had to say goodbye to the lovely dog. I went for a quick swim after that, as I was very warm. I ended up leaving the guy around 6.30 pm. I was on my phone, and he said "whilst you're on your phone, you should add my number". I said following: "you know what I think? (serious pause) I think that today was a one-off. I think it's clear that we had two very different intentions with the day, and I think it's a better idea to just let it go". He was not beaten. Nope, he kept trying. I said "kudos to you for not giving up, but it's still a no. Maybe we'll see each other again, but that'll have to be coincidences". I am blunt when I need to be, and determined. Anyway, I left, only to wait in line for the boat for an hour. Yes, there was a bloody long line of maybe 30 metres, and two boats had come and left until I finally got on the boat home. On the boat I got into a talk with a man from Senegal. He's moved here to work, earn money so he can send it off home to his family. During the conversation, I was amazed to think of people who come so far just to earn a living so they can provide for their families. They go so far from home, to another culture. And he was alone, his family was back in Senegal. It's all so different from my own life. Apparently he had two jobs, and I told him "remember to take care of yourself". I reminded him of this several times, because I know his kind, the ones who work themselves so hard to reach a goal, they forget self care. Meeting him, though a brief meeting, was good for me. It opened my eyes to a lot of things actually. I met my mother on my way home. She'd gone for a hike and plucked blueberries. This past week has been rather strange, but also great. I've been swimming almost all week, met new people and done things outside my comfort zone. I asked myself today: "am I the person I want to be?" and I thought "right now, I'm really happy with who I am". And that doesn't happen every day. On another note, The Girl with Sienna Miller is perhaps one of the most disturbing movies I've seen. Toby Jones as Hitchcock was my nightmare. Amazing performances, I thought, but I know little of Hitchcock to be fair. I should be going to sleep now. Tomorrow I really need to give my bedroom a proper cleaning. It's been bothering me, but neglected due to my long visits to the island this week. Bonne nuit. 

meet you by the seaside, somewhere we both can hide

Popping a blister is painful, and you really shouldn't do it. I didn't realise I had blisters on my feet, not until I felt the sting of a popped blister. I think they were caused by my sandals, and I hadn't seen, because I was so busy going from one place to another. Oh well, these things happen. I decided to go to the mall this morning, because I'd gotten a text telling me my customised gift for my nephew's christening was done. And because I was nearly out of my face moisturiser, and because I had to buy things for Saturday when I'm meeting up with my pals. So I just figured I'd get all of the things done when I actually had time for it, rather than postponing it. Before this I helped out washing carpets with my dad. He actually built a temporary stand to let the carpets dry on. That's my dad for you. After the trip to the mall, I ate, then slung my rucksack on my back and ran to the bus stop. "Where are you going?" my dad yelled after me. "To swim," I yelled back. Standing on the platform, waiting for the train, a man approached me just as I was going to put on my sunglasses. "Excuse me," he said. I smiled, put my glasses away, "yes?". I did notice this person in my periphery, but I figured he was going to pass me, not approach me. "You seem very familiar to me," he said. "Have you been at ___ before?" he asked furthermore. I said no, told him he'd probably seen my doppelgänger. "Are you sure? I really feel like I've seen you before. Wait, are you a model?" he asked. Without hesitating I said "no". I had to laugh a bit, cause the whole thing was a bit ridiculous. He apologised for taking up my time, and I said it was fine. He went away, I put my sunglasses on and smiled to myself. What an odd happening. Perhaps I do in fact have a doppelgänger. On my way to the beach, I was crossing my fingers, hoping that nobody had taken "my" space. And I was lucky, coz it was empty. I do realise that though it's an ideal place for me, a lot of others would dislike it. And that's great for me. I'd barely found my towel and undressed before I waded into the water. The first swim is glorious. But I do have to say that I felt marginally better today for each swim. They weren't as cold as the previous days. I had to laugh at myself when I recognised several people from the previous days. I've become a commoner. I left around 6 pm, because my bladder was making itself known. Tomorrow I'm going to the grocery store with Marble, because she's hosting our get-together on Saturday, and I've volunteered to help out because I almost always do. Then I've got a meeting with Kiwi at noon. And then I'm going back to the island, where I believe my belieber friend will be. So I ought to head to bed very soon. Oh, the pictures are from Paris. If you want to get another nice view of Paris, that's not from tour Eiffel, or Arc de Triomphe, you should take the metro to Montmartre because it's the highest point of the city of Paris. It's a great, great view!

I was listening to the ocean, I saw a face in the sand

I might seriously just move to this island if this great weather continues. I am practically living there as of now. I met up with my belieber friend today, and we took the boat to the same island, found our same spot -ish. We moved a bit, but I think I preferred our new spot anyway. We practically jumped in the water once we'd undressed, and stayed out for a fairly long time, I think. To be fair, you don't do much when you're at the beach. You swim, lie in the sun, swim some more, maybe read. For our second swim, we wanted to reach a certain point. And we were so close, but then I saw a jellyfish and half-screamed at my belieber friend who was a few metres behind me. We swam back, at least ten metres, before we felt somewhat safe from the wrath of a jellyfish. Truthfully I've never been stung, but that doesn't mean I want to. We ended up being a bit wary, understandably. But we stayed out in the water, trying to catch waves. The third time we went for a swim was chilly as f. For each time you get in the water, the colder it gets. The first time is heaven, coz you're so warm. Second time is chilly. And third time is freezing. At least that's my experience. We talked about wedding stuff, told my belieber friend to get a folder. I'm thinking something ala Monica Geller, lols. After a few hours we decided to do a bit of exploring before going back to the city. The island is big, the biggest, so there's a lot of secret spots. But there's loads of cliffs to, scary ones. Told my belieber friend to not fall, coz that's a bit stupid. When getting back to the city, we dined at a French restaurant. We'd decided to try something new. I was a bit disappointed we weren't greeted with a bonjour, but I forget sometimes that I'm living in Norway. I had bœuf bourguignon, which I really liked because I am a sucker for red meat in sauces. It's weird, but it seems like it always works for me. I forced my belieber friend to try some, because I was already quite full. She was not as happy with her own meal, understandably. We're probably never going back, unless I want something French because I don't know of many French restaurants in Oslo. So I watched Teen Wolf yesterday, when suddenly Running With the Wolves by Aurora starts playing, and I was shell-shocked. Because I remember listening to the song, and thinking "this would be perfect for Teen Wolf", although it'd be perfect a few seasons ago, when Lydia felt left out of all the secrets. When she finally found out, and her first fight, that's when the song would be absolutely perfect. The episode was shocking, but very much like all the other episodes this season - confusing and weirdly dark. Like, I get a bit of Twilight first movie feelings from it, because it was filmed in a way (and a strange colour) that made the movie a bit creepy? I don't know how to explain it, but I feel the same way with this season. I'm going to bed soon, hopefully. I've been going to bed around midnight each day now, and I want to get into the habit of falling asleep earlier because I enjoy maximising the day, and not sleep too long. When you prefer early mornings rather than sleeping in, that's when you're a grown up. (Well, not really, but also yes). 

It made a mark upon the paper, a mark that could not be rubbed out.

Today I woke up due to my phone plinging. I'd forgotten to put it on mute. It was about 10 am anyway, so I figured I'd had a decent amount of sleep already. I told my pals that I wanted to have a night out in the near future, and that was one of the conversations. On a conversation between my belieber friend and I, we planned to hang out today. I didn't get out of bed until 11.38 (yes, I'm a lazy arse), and we were supposed to meet 12.30. It ended up being more like 12.45. But still, I barely managed to have something to eat. We went to a mall filled with interior. I've wanted to go there for months, and we finally went today. I ended up buying another gift for my nephew's christening, and my belieber friend bought the coolest picture frame. I think it's wonderful, and if I had an excuse myself, I would've bought one too. We went to the grocery store to buy things for a barbecue, then we waited for the boat which took us to an island. After a bit of exploring, we found a good spot to settle. Once we'd put down our towels and lighted our disposable grill, we went to have a swim. It's like the end of August, and it's my first swim this year (I'm pretty sure). It was lovely, and I forget how much I enjoy it. I'm not actually used to salt water, so it was interesting licking my lips after ducking under the water. After staying out in the water for probably 15 minutes or so, we headed back in to put on our sausages on the grill. I actually had four, whereas my belieber friend had three. When it comes to hot-dogs, I can eat helluva lot. We went for another swim. Swam into the waves, then after a flock of ducks, and then just wherever. I think we stayed out longer that time. It's weird because I barely looked at my phone, and my watch was buried deep into my bag, so I didn't actually have any sense of time. We got back to our towels and sat down, talked, caught up I guess. And before I knew it, it was 6.30 pm. On the boat back, we decided to sit up on the deck, and it was so lovely. Sunshine, breeze from the sea and a happy crowd. It just really felt like a proper summer day. We ate an ice lolly each, before we parted our ways with promises to meet up tomorrow as well. I told my belieber friend that I was looking for adventures, told her to tell me if she found some. And although she wont take credit, she made an adventure for us today. I'm going to watch Teen Wolf now, before I go to bed. It's getting closer to half of the season ending, and I'm hoping maybe there will be some answers. But previous episodes tells me I'll probably end up like a question mark this time too. Bonne nuit! (yes, I'm still pretending I'm in France) 

Let's run away and not know where we're going to. Let's go for today and it's all going to be wonderful

Bonsoir! Paris. We saw Sacré-Cœur, Notre Dame, La tour Eiffel, Arc de Triomphe, Opéra national de Paris, Musée du Louvre, Champs-Élysées, and other remarkable sights. We went to Notre Dame, tour Eiffel and Arc de Triomphe twice, just because they're so outstanding. I have two favourite moments from the sightseeing. Number one was taking the metro to the island Île de la Cité after a long day of travelling and seeing Sacré-Cæur in the northern parts of Paris, Montmartre. We arrived at the island around 8 pm maybe, it was late. There were maybe two others who got off at the same metrostop, and when we got outside it was nearly silent, which was a huge change from busy Montmartre filled with tourists. Rounding a corner, we finally spotted Notre Dame, and jesus, I was besotted. I cannot pinpoint why it is that I felt so much for Notre Dame, but I did. We sat down, and enjoyed the sight of the Gothic cathedral. In the afternoon and evening, the sun shines right on the front, and we were lucky enough to see it in the best weather. I felt at peace, is the thing, and maybe that's why I enjoyed it so much. The second time we saw it, the weather was a lot worse-- windy, reminiscent to autumn. However, I still felt the tug to my heart. It's strange, these things. My other favourite moment was standing on top of Arc de Triomphe at night in the rain, and seeing Paris in the dark, not to mention tour Eiffel and the amazing light show. I'd forgotten about the latter, and it was such a surprise when all the crowd gasped at the beauty. A woman and her family had just passed us, "sorry," she said. I said "no, that's fine", when the crowd gasped. The woman and her family turned around to see what all of the excitement was about. "You snuggle up to me," she said to her daughter, as they watched to light show in the light rain drizzle. Oyster and I decided to go back down after a bit, and we were just in time, because not long after the rain started pouring. People were hiding in the tunnels, waiting for the rain to stop. Two lads, Oyster and I braved the pouring rain, and ran outside. We were drenched in seconds, and had to wait for the light to turn green. But as I observed that there were no cars, I thought "sod it," and ran. Memories from my first trip to Paris were refreshed, and I remembered the pouring rain that came around in bouts. This time, it was late at night, and I ran across the road, which I mostly never do. It felt liberating. When I arrived in Paris, it felt very familiar. All from the struggle to get to our hotel, to trying to communicate with non-english speakers, and all the greetings: bonjour, bonsoir, bonne nuit. But it also felt unfamiliar, like I hadn't really seen Paris. I got to see more than the surface this time around, and it opened my eyes. Also, I'm older, I have a different perspective. So in some ways Paris was new to me. They say Paris is the most romantic city in the world, and I can't confirm nor deny that. But I can confirm that out of all the places I've ever been to, it's got the most romantic architecture. It's rare that you see buildings that stands out from the "standard" parisian building. I had a really good trip to Paris with my best friend. We'd chosen a great hotel, with helpful staff. We got super warm weather (thank goodness for aircon) and sun most days. We discovered empanadas in Paris, and got free access to all touristy things except for tour Eiffel. We bought bottles of Bioderma each, ate dessert for almost all our meals. Even when Oyster lost her wallet, she managed to laugh afterwards. One of the great things I realised during our trip, is that Oyster and I are quite alike. We wanted to do the same things, mostly. And where we don't want the same things, we compromise. Despite living with each other for six days and spending all our time together, I didn't feel like we had any friction. Perhaps that's because we've known each other for over a decade. But it was a really nice discovery for me. When I woke up on Sunday, I did miss Paris. I missed waking up and getting on the metro, felt a bit restless. I didn't sleep for long last night, and therefore I was a bit tired today. I went by my local mall to get my pictures, and to get my nephew a christening gift. I did that in 15 minutes, before I went to take the bus, then the train to the city. I met Kiwi in an office, where she'd met with a travel agency thing. She wants to travel, has wanted it for a while. At least she's talked about it. We spoke about it today, travelling. And right now, it looks like I'll be tagging along. I've been thinking about it myself. It's a golden opportunity to take a break from the road I've been on for the past years, and do something different. And right now is the best time to do it, I think, when I don't have any responsibilities. Life is strange, and one door shutting, means another opens. Nothing is confirmed yet, but regardless if it happens or not, I know I'm going to spend a lot of the near future travelling. Anyway, Kiwi and I spent about three hours together, drinking ginger ale and me eating a salad, writing down the places we want to see. Then we parted our ways, me in my wide leg flower pattern trousers. Yes, Paris has made me brave for the moment, and though I might have looked a bit like a hippy, I decided that I didn't care. You dress for yourself, and that's something I was reminded of when I went to Paris. When I got home, I changed into my neon yellow bikini, and promptly fell asleep in the tanning bed. I really was tired, and only awoke to an insect close to my ear. I went from great weather in Paris, to great weather in Norway. I'm trying to make the most out of my time off, so who knows what I end up doing. 

You say it's time to leave cause it's getting dark. Feet moving on their own, we trust they'll take us home

I took 400 pictures in Paris with my digital camera. Split on six days, that'll be 66,67 pictures each day. Paris has an area of 105,4 square kilometres. 1 square kilometre (km2) is equal to: 1,000,000 square metres (m2). We ended up visiting most of the parts of Paris, without meaning to. But I still only took 66,67 pictures each day. Why? Digital cameras allows you to take a hundred pictures of the same object, so you can sort out the ones you dislike, and choose the one you think is the prettiest, the most perfect. But in the end, it ends up being about taking that perfect picture, something to show off, rather than capturing a memory. Since realising this fact, I've tried to minimise the amount of pictures I take of the same object. I've become more hesitant to take the picture, and I spend longer time trying to find the perfect shot. And even then, it's only when I think it's fine to look at the object through a lense, rather than watching it in real life. And more often than not, I choose to not pick up my camera. These following pictures are from the Picasso museum in Marais. Picasso is very much confusing to me. But I think maybe it was the way the paintings were portrayed, I'd like to see the pictures in a chronological order, just to see how his techniques changed. That's interesting to me, seeing how artists change in their techniques, and trying to understand why that is. I have to say that the museum itself was almost art. Museums are interesting, but the people in the museums are also vastly interesting to me. Which is why the following pictures is mostly people looking at art. Hi, by the way. Or you know, bonjour! 

Don't you hear that rhythm? Can you show me how we can escape

Yesterday was a fun day. First day of vacation started off packing, using my newly acquired packing cubes. And honestly, it's so fucking satisfying looking at how organised my suitcase is. I've really been looking forward to this for a month or so, now, and it was just how I thought it'd be. Kiwi laughed at my silliness, but agreed at the practicality of packing cubes. As did Marble, and I knew that Marble would get it. We've travelled together multiple times now, and we've always had conversations about how messy it is, living out of a suitcase and never finding that thing you packed until you get home and unpack. We had planned to go to a museum yesterday, only, none of us had been attentive enough to check out closing times. So we got to the museum, realised it was going to be closed in ten minutes. So instead of going to the museum, we just continued walking towards Akershus festning, then towards Aker Brygge, and then Tjuvholmen. After walking from store to store, we ended up having some grub at Wayne's Coffee at Tjuvholmen. We did think of picking up a few things at the grocery store, then walk back to Akershus festning, but time was running out. After we'd gone to the loo, we went to the venue where we were going to watch stand-up. It was already filled up when we got there, but eventually we found ourselves some seats. Sugar was a bit late, due to her train. But she got there just in time. It was hilarious, my cheeks were hurting from smiling so much. Maybe it was the two beers I had guzzled, but wow, I thought I'd pee myself. Obviously, not all acts were my cup of tea, but that's just how stand-up goes. After going to the loos, and waiting for the rest of my friends, we met some acquaintances from school years ago. Well, they're good friends with Marble, but to me they're acquaintances. But they joined us for drinks afterwards, and it was lovely. We all ordered different drinks and had a taste of all of each others' drinks. Funnily, they were all in different colours. I went hard on my last drink: a mix of vodka, gin and rum. It was definitely noticeable. I tried my first drink because of one of the ingredients were Midori, and I was curious to taste it. I know now that it's not my kind of drink, but it was good to taste nevertheless. We chatted, and sat for maybe two hours before we decided to go. Sugar had left us an hour in, or so, coz she was going out. The rest of us decided on a whim that we'd go out too, well, try. When we got to the place we wanted to, it turned out they had a 23-age limit, which was fucking annoying. As Marble and I discussed: it feels like we never get old enough. We wanted to go dancing as well, and there's not many options when you want a good dance floor. So we went to the neighbour club, where the line was humongous, but we decided to give it a try. Our acquaintances left us then, and we were joined by one of Kiwi's acquaintances. An hour in, we were still stuck in a near-still line, and had just gotten enough of all the pushing back and forth. So we left to try another place, but the mood was kind of subdued, and we knew that we wouldn't get the dance floor we wanted. So after walking from place to place, we decided to go home. A lone Dane approached us, asked us for directions. Gracious as we were, we actually followed him to the underground, only to find that it had stopped going, then we lead him to the bus. We all got a hug each, and I concluded that we had done a good deed. Imagine being in a new country, your friends have left you, and you've no idea of how to get home. Just a minute later, we were approached by two guys who had lost their last train, and no way to get home unless anyone could drive. We couldn't help them, but they were grateful anyway. Kiwi and I were both welcomed to sleep over at Marble's, but I figured out that I could just walk from one of the bus stops, and get home. Another day, I'd probably sleep over. But I figured since I'm going to Paris tomorrow, I ought to be home and pack up. I got home at 2.30 am, but didn't go to bed until 4 am. Burnt myself on hot cheese on my toast, nearly finished reading a fan fiction. Although yesterday didn't go just how we'd expected, I really liked it, and it was a perfect first day off. Doing things on a whim usually means the endstop will be uncertain, but that's the fun in it. You don't know how things will end up. I'm glad we decided we wanted to go out, despite not getting in anywhere. At least I had a nice walk with my friends through the streets of Oslo. I always find that it's such a nice atmosphere at night, when everyone's had a bit of alcohol, the bars are pumping with life, and strangers meet strangers. I woke up at noon today. I've got to clean my bedroom, exercise, have a shower and pack up the last bits. Tomorrow awaits an exciting adventure, though I strangely enough don't have much expectations. It starts really early, so I have to somehow fall asleep early tonight. Good luck with that, I tell myself. As for you, have a good week. See you in a week, when I'm back from Paris. 

I want desire, cause your love only gets me abused

Today's been slow. My shift was awfully slow, and I was restless, pacing back and forth, reading about medicine. And then I was tired, and moaning about the lack of action. But it was good, having less to do. It just makes you more tired, it feels like. And I've been very tired this week, almost as if the workload the past week finally made a dent to my body (and mind). I just realised I was supposed to end my shift at 3 pm, rather than 3.30 pm (I went home at 3.40). Oh well, I don't really mind anyway. And it's officially the start of my vacation. We had delicious cake at work, and it's like there was a rumour swirling around "there's gonna be cake". At the end of our shift, we were all sat down in the new sitting area, which Kiwi baptised. I told Kiwi it's funny, cos it's right beside the window, and our uniforms are white. So when I walked towards all my co-workers sat in their white uniforms, the light from outside shone on them, and made them look a bit like angels. At the end of my shift, I felt very sluggish, overtired. And well, it was hilarious, because when Kiwi and I had changed out of our uniforms, and we were throwing them away, I was talking to her, but, like, she was standing on the other side of where I was talking towards. Does that make sense? Anyway, I looked a right fool, probably. We were giggling at stupid things, a bit like being hungover, Kiwi said. After work, Kiwi and I went to the mall because Kiwi was going to get her hair did. I was just tagging along, but because my blood sugar was low, and I was hungry, our first stop was a restaurant. Then we went shopping, and Kiwi bought the nicest shoes by Adidas. They were love at first sight from my side, perfect. I'm trying to restrain myself from shopping, seeing as I'm going to Paris in a few days. Anyway, after three hours (?) I decided to go home because I was so exhausted. But before I went, I managed to buy a magazine. It's actually been over a year since I last bought a magazine like that. Of course it was an interior magazine. When I got home, I had a shower, then I ate, drank tea whilst reading my magazine. Perfect for relaxing. Only thing that would make it even better would be a face mask, probably. I'm gonna head to bed soon, as I'm quite exhausted. Tomorrow I am going to watch stand-up with Marble, Sugar and Kiwi. But before I do that, I am going to start packing for Paris. Tomorrow is after all my last opportunity to run for the shops if I find that I need to buy something for the trip. I am looking forward to try out my packing cubes, silly me. Bonne nuit! 

I put three daisies in the notebook and watched the petals all fall out

"We learn the most brutal ways," my boss told me in the morning, and I thought yes. But we also get the greatest rewards. And I guess that's why we continue. I've crossed yet another day off my list, and my last shift this summer is tomorrow. I just finished watching "My kid and me" by Casey Neistat, which felt a lot like reading a really great book, when in truth it's a twenty minute video about a dad and his son. It was lovely, brought a tear to my eye, and seriously, some people are amazing at creating videos, films. To manage to produce a product that makes people smile, laugh and cry is quite extraordinary when you think of it. I sometimes think I'm twenty-three, though I only recently turned twenty-two. Marble agreed with me, said she also thinks it sometimes. It's like each year counted, then I turned twenty, and after that it didn't feel like it mattered anymore. Now it's only 25, 30, 35, 40, 45- etcetera, that matters. Maybe it's not that they don't matter, it's just that the years seem to fly so quickly away. Maybe you only stop up at the 25s, 30s, 35s--- because you have a crisis: "where the hell did all the time go?". I see a lot of illness, people dying, and one of the good things about working in healthcare, is that you often feel really grateful for your own life. You see things at work that reminds you of how lucky you really are. My package arrived at the postal office today, which is crazy. I put the order in on Tuesday, and it arrived today. It made me happy, likewise when I managed to motivate myself to exercise today. I hate doing burpees, but they do so much good to the bod, and it feels nice afterwards. My face is the current playground for a lot of spots. They rejoice on my skin, and it's not like I've got any magical cure to make them disappear. It's a good thing I've got vacation soon, less stressful things to worry about. Or, you know, I might worry more. I do easily think more when I've got a lot of quiet time. I am currently listening to Tom Rosenthal. He's very soothing, I've found. Soothing to the ears and to the mind. Good evening, and good night. 

I said that's fine but you're the only one that knows I lied

Shit days are shitty. When I got home today, I undressed and sat in my bed, listening to my music on shuffle, and had a cry. Then I ate some food and drank a cup of tea. Some days at work are harder than others, but today has probably been the shittiest day I've experienced related to my job. But I think it's fine now. I've debriefed with my colleagues, but probably more importantly-- I've debriefed with myself. When something happens, and it affects you emotionally, it's so important to work through those emotions, rather than shut them out. I learned that the hard way, when I thought just putting on a smile was a good thing. Allow yourself to feel. That's what I've done, and I feel better. My boss said to me that I must'n't take it too hard. And I said: "I am going to take it hard, but that's okay, because I'd be worried if this didn't affect me". On my way home today, I met Marble at the bus stop. Well, technically we were at the same bus, but I didn't see her (am always in my own world, and especially then), and she didn't see me (she's just got bad eyesight). But she said hi on her way off the bus, and I figured it wasn't too far away from my own bus stop, so I went with her. We caught up a bit, then another friend came off the bus and we all had a chat. It's funny, because it feels like I'm just meeting everyone nowadays. Although work was tough today, we also had a lot of fun. We pranked our doctor, and then he totally pranked me back. It was hilarious, and also really nice to have a doctor who is able to joke around. There's just so many serious doctors, which, I guess is good, but I think it makes a better environment when people have fun together. Only two days left of work, then I have the rest of my life off (ah, I wish). But seriously, five days until Paris. So I watched the newest episode of Teen Wolf yesterday, and I'm just so lost. I just don't understand how things will continue. Like, will things patch up again? And the first part of the season is nearly over, and I've been sat with a question mark on my face after each episode. Once I thought Derek was back, but it wasn't, and that made me sad. I'm sure the producer will tie most of the strings together at last, but for now it's a very stressful show to watch. I was also really terrified at one point yesterday, and I might have yelled a bit. Anyway, I'm going to drink some more tea, read fan fiction, and hopefully get a good night's rest. Could really do with that.